Hole in My Life (Chapter 22 of Don’t Stop the Dance) [For Lia]
Dawn and Spike have some moments alone.

A thin, ray of sunlight slices diagonally across the other side of the room. Spike hears it burning through the remnants of cool, evening air. It’s later than he thought if the sun is reaching this side of the house already.

Haven’t slept that well in a while. He thinks to himself with a smile.

Tangled in the sheets, he suddenly becomes aware of the emptiness beside him. Buffy is gone.

He sits up, his curls sticking every which way, and runs his hand over his face. Getting out of the bed he grabs his jeans off the floor, jumps into them, pulls on his t-shirt and opens the bedroom door. The door to the second bedroom is open. No sign of anyone inside. There’s no one in the bathroom either.

Spike frowns and turns towards the kitchen. Dawn is sitting at the table with a banana, looking through a National Geographic and munching away.

“You’re up!” She grins at his appearance. “Sort of. Maybe you should take a sh-“

“Where’s Buffy?” Spike looks around him for sign of the blonde.

“She…um…here.” Dawn stands and hands Spike a folded note. “I didn’t read it.” Spike’s face falls. His hand begins to shake as he holds the note in his fingers as if it were dipped in holy water. He’s deathly afraid to open it. “Spike?” He continues to stare at the paper as Dawn calls his name. It’s only when she touches his hand that he jumps and drops it to the floor. He looks up at her and attempts a smile.

“Sorry, bit…thanks.” He bends over and retrieves the slip of paper. “How long ’as she been out?” He tries to squelch the sinking feeling in his stomach as Dawn explains.

“She left early. She said you gave her some information and she wanted to check it out.” Sensing Spike’s anxiety, she places her hand on his arm and he looks up at her.

“Spike. She’ll be fine. We’re supposed to meet her later.” She smiles warmly. Spike returns it shakily. He is very concerned for Buffy’s safety, but he is also worried that last night had done more harm than good for her. For them. She’d left without saying goodbye. Perhaps it really had been a mistake.

“Wanna banana?” Dawn asks, doing her best to sound cheery. Truth is she’s worried too. She half-heartedly wishes it were nighttime so that Spike could have gone with her impatient sister. When she’d tried to get Buffy to wait, the only thing Buffy had said was that there was no more time for waiting. Those few words made Dawn nervous as heck.

“Nah.” Spike turns from the kitchen and heads into the living room. He plops down on the couch and places the note on the coffee table in front of him.

He sits back on the couch, resting his head on the cushions behind him and closes his eyes. He can still see her skin glowing in the candlelight. The look in her eyes. It was almost as if-

Right. ‘nough o’ that.

He sits up and grabs the note, opening it before he can chicken out. He begins to read, ignoring the shaking of his hands.

Love. Buffy.

Spike re-reads the note several times before folding it neatly and slipping it into his pocket. Love. Buffy. Seeing those two words in her handwriting with his name at the top sends fantastical daydreams through his head. He sits back once again and closes his eyes. Dawn is on her second banana in the kitchen, strangely content in these unfamiliar surroundings. He can hear her humming softly and it makes him smile.

What if this was their house? His and Buffy’s and Dawn’s. They could be a family, couldn’t they? Sure in some parallel universe where insanity rules, you git. He sighs heavily and gets up, walking back to the kitchen.

“Everything ok?” Dawn asks between bites.

“Yeah, niblet, s’cool” Spike smiles and runs his hand over the top of her head.

“Hey!” She pretends to scowl at him for rumpling her brown locks. “I don’t even have a brush with me.”

“We’ll go back ‘nd get your stuff, platelet, don’ worry.” He opens the fridge, half expecting to see a pint of blood. Of course there isn’t any. He opens the freezer, which is rapidly defrosting with the lack of electricity, and pulls out a half-frozen bag of onion rings. Turning to the stove, he thanks the powers that it is gas and not electric. He turns on the oven and smiles at the whoosh sound of the pilot light.

“Well, it’s not a bloomin’ onion, but it’ll do.” He turns to Dawn and she rolls her eyes. He smiles wickedly.

20 minutes later the pair are picking over the tray of slightly burned snack food. Neither speaks and their movements are distracted and slow. Occasionally one will look at the other as if they’re going to speak and then sigh and looks away. After 10 minutes or so of this, Spike finally breaks the silence.

“She’s fine.” He affects his most reassuring tone of voice as he states this to Dawn. She smiles appreciatively. He smiles in return, but it’s obvious that he is having more trouble believing the words. Dawn studies him for a moment as he continues to pick at the tray.

“Spike?” He looks up at her.

“Yeah?” His eyes are soft and there’s a hint of fear in them.

“Can I ask you a question?” She puts a burnt piece back on the tray and wipes her hands on her jeans. He nods as she levels her eyes in his. Blue into blue. “Are you still in love with my sister?” Spike’s mouth drops open at the question. He breaks his gaze away from her face and looks at the floor searching for words.

“W-why do you ask, nib?” He rubs his hand across his forehead several times and stands up to clear the tray away.

“I'm not angry or anything. I think we’ve both gotten over the ugly stuff. Right?” She turns her body towards him.

“Right, well-” Spike sits the tray in the sink and turns on the water.

“So…be honest with me. Are you still in love with Buffy?” Dawn already knows the answer to her question, but she needs to hear him say it. She’s watched the pair of them dance around each other for the last few days and she knows that something happened between them last night. Still, when Buffy had come to her this morning with the note, she’d seen the panic in her eyes. And now Spike is tangibly frightened to answer her simple question.

Spike turns his back to the sink and leans against it facing her. Nope. No longer a little girl, she’s a little woman. Asking difficult questions, she is. It’s his turn to study her and he sees so much of Buffy in her that the smile reaches his lips before he realizes it. She smiles too.

“You’re a lot like her.” She smiles wider. “And you both have so much of Joyce in you, it’s incredible s’what it is.”

“You’re avoiding the question.” She still smiles at the compliment, cocking her head to the side in mock impatience. For emphasis, she crosses her arms. Spike laughs.

“Yep, jes’ like ‘er. Alright niblet, I’ll tell you the truth.” Dawn straightens up and leans her elbows on the table.

“All ears.” Spike crosses back to the table and sits across from her.

“And this doesn’t leave this room.” He chides. Dawn makes the motion of crossing her heart and puts up the scout’s honor sign before resuming her attentive position. Spike’s eyes twinkle as he smiles at her.

“I love you Dawn.” Spike’s tone turns very serious, suddenly. This catches the young girl off guard. Her eyes go wide and she fights the blush rising to her cheeks. “I jes’…wanted you to know that.” He continues, his voice soft and full of warmth. He smiles at her.

“I love you too Spike.” She beams at him and he closes his eyes. This is his girl. His Dawn.

“But you haven’t answered my question.” She smirks at him when he opens his eyes.

“Yes.” He says softly. Dawn’s smile fades as she watches the emotions overtake him. He is still smiling a little, but his eyes are incredibly sad. She hasn’t seen that look since, well, since that summer.

“Does she know? I-I mean…have you told her?”

“No.” His voice is even softer and a bit labored. Dawn frowns in confusion.

“Why not?” She asks innocently. Spike lets out a long sigh. He shakes his head and searches the ceiling for the answers.

“I…I can’t, Dawn.” He looks at her confused expression. “It…wouldn’t be right.” Dawn’s confusion turns into disbelief.

“What? Wouldn’t be right? What are you, nuts?”

‘It…this…is a bad time…the worst time, Dawn, for…all of this.” He places his hands flat on the linoleum surface of the table. “We’re in the middle of a war, nib.”

“Which makes it the perfect time, Spike. God! What if one of you doesn’t-“ Her voice trails off. “What if one of you doesn’t make it out of this?” Spike studies her for awhile.

“It won’t be her, Dawn. I promise you that. She’ll not die. Not again.” His jaw clenches a little.

“What if it’s you, Spike? You’d be okay leaving her without her ever knowing?” Dawn trembles at the implication of her own words. Spike dead? Buffy dead? What if I die?

“She’ll know. I’ve left…something for her. Listen-“ he sits forward. “I left a letter for her, in my case…under the cot. When we go back there, I’ll give it to you. I need you to make sure she gets it if…”

“A note?” Dawn takes serious offense at the notion. “You’re leaving her a letter? Spike, you have to tell her.”

He stands up exasperated. “I can’t! Dawn, I can’t!” He’s trembling and his voice is breaking. Dawn jumps up and goes to him.

“Spike? What is it?”

“She doesn’t…I can’t do that to her again.” He searches Dawn’s face for understanding.

“She doesn’t what? Doesn’t love you? Spike, of course she does!” Dawn’s smile doesn’t faze him though, he breaks loose from her and paces the kitchen.

“Listen, I know she loves me. I know it. Do you think I don’t know that? I do. It’s just-“ He closes his eyes tightly willing the tears back. “She’s not in love with me, Dawn. She never could be. She’ll always-“

“Always what, Spike?” Dawn cautiously walks over to him.

“Her heart will never belong to me, niblet. S’just the way it is. She’ll never be mine, not the way I am hers and God I can’t believe I'm telling you this.” He turns from her again. She reaches out and touches his arm.

“Spike. I don’t know why you have this idea in your head, but I know my sister. She loves you. She loves you more than anyone in the world.”

“No, nib, she loves you more than anyone in the world.” He smiles at her. She returns it.

“Ok, yeah, that’s true.” They both laugh a little. “But I know what I'm talking about. She’s crazy about you.”

Spike stares at her for a moment. Should he believe her? Dawn is very young, and maybe prone to flights of romantic fancy. But...

Dawn gestures towards the table and the both sit down. Spike starts to say something, but Dawn raises her hand for him to be quiet.

“You...” she begins, searching for just the right words. It’s times like this when she wishes she could call upon the millennia or two of knowledge the ‘key’ supposedly possessed. Being a teenager in a world full of grown-ups and grown-up problems, well, let’s just say it isn’t all fun and games. More like all ghouls and vamps. Dawn sighs a deep breath.

“Spike. You are a fairytale.” Spike frowns and draws back from her, but before he can protest she clarifies.

“You were the guy, the bad guy, that did everything under the sun. You were the villain.” He lowers his head and nods. “You think I don’t know what you were? You told me stories, yeah, but I also read about the exploits of ‘William the Bloody’ in Giles’ books.”

“Oh, Dawn, I-“

“No. Just listen, ‘k?” Spike nods again. “I know you were the Big Bad. I know that it isn’t a joke, ok? Buffy knows that too. But...what we also know is that you’ve changed.” Spike’s eyes become incredibly soft at her statement.

“You really believe I’ve changed?”

“I know you have, Spike. I can feel it. Buffy can too.” She smiles a small smile.

“Well...thanks, bit. You’ve no idea what that...” He chokes back the tears that threaten. My girl.

“You’re the fairytale, Spike. You were evil and your love for one person changed you. It...what’s that word...redeem!” She smiles at the discovery. “It redeemed you. You got back your soul, Spike. Your soul!” She pauses, looking at him as she shakes her head in disbelief. “Do you know how huge that is? Man, I thought that when Giles found out he’d be bombarding you with questions.”

Spike rubs his hand on the back of his neck. “Yeah, well, Rupert wasn’t too keen on havin’ me back ‘ere. I‘m sure he wasn’ thinkin’ about me havin’ a bloody soul or not.”

“Do you hate him?” Her question takes him by surprise.

“Why? He has every right to not want me back ‘ere, sweet bit. After-“

“Does he have the right to kill you?” A flush of color rises to her cheeks. Spike squints his eyes at her trying to suss out the cause.

“Why would you say somethin’ like that?”

“I know what he did, Spike. Him and Principal Wood.” Spike inhales an unnecessary breath.

“Who told you? Nevermind, it doesn’ matter. Do you know why they...did that?”

“Well...no. I mean- I know why Giles hates you, because of you and Buffy and you being William the Bloody and all.” She smiles nervously. “But I don’t get the principal. I mean he and Buffy only went on one date.” Her joke falls a little flat on Spike who is nervous-as-hell to tell her the real reason behind the assassination attempt.

“I killed his mum.” Dawn’s nervous giggles cease immediately. “She...was...a slayer. Like Buffy. Good. Very good. One of the best, from what I hear.” He glances up at Dawn. Her eyes are saucers as she takes in the details of this latest revelation. “We danced. I won. He’s been lookin’ for me ever since.” He finally rests his eyes in hers, ready to accept her disgust and eventual retreat.

“Ok, One, she was the Slayer. I’m not saying that what you did was ok, but you were a vamp and she was the Slayer which brings me to my second point. You aren’t that person anymore, Spike.” His expression turns from one of shame to confusion to awe. “You changed what you were, who you were, Spike. That’s pretty amazing.” She smiles. “The person Principal Wood has been looking for all this time doesn’t exist anymore.” She reaches over and takes his hand in hers.

“I wish it were that simple, niblet.” He reaches up his free hand and cups her face. “When did you grow up? I feel like I’ve missed so much.” He smiles.

“You have.” She returns the smile. “And you’re going to miss more if you don’t tell Buffy how you feel. How you really feel.” Spike let’s out an audible sigh.

“Dawn...there are so many reasons for me to tell her and only one reason not to.” He folds his arms across his chest.

“What’s the reason?” She asks softly.

“Wha’?” He’s momentarily lost in thought. “Oh, well...”

“C’mon, Spike. What is it?” She folds her arms across her chest, mimicking his position.

“I...” He looks off to the side looking for a way not to tell Dawn the truth. Finally meeting her inquisitive gaze, he gives up any hope of lying to her. “Angel.”

Dawn’s expression changes instantly. She stiffens and blinks rapidly a few times before nodding her head. She has nothing to say to that. She knows the whole story. Of course, she thinks Buffy is crazy not to fall head over heels with this amazing guy sitting across from her, but Buffy’s always been...well, Buffy. But still, she’s was so sure that what she sees in her sister’s eyes when they fall on Spike is more than friendship.

The pair sit in uncomfortable silence for a long while. Finally, Dawn thinks of a way to get Spike out of the funk she’s brought upon him with her silly questions.

“Hey, why don’t you tell me a story? Like you used to?” She smiles her sweetest girly smile at him. It used to work all the time. Still does, apparently, because when Spike looks up at her, he’s beaming suddenly.

“What would my girl like to hear?” He says, his voice taking on its familiar cadence. Dawn rises and heads into the living room, gesturing for him to follow.

“I dunno. Something swashbuckle-y!” She grins as she throws herself along the length of the couch. Spike settles on the floor, his back leaning against the bottom of the sofa. Dawn idly plays with the curls on his head as he weaves a tale for her.

She’s not really listening, though. She’s thinking about him. What a miracle he kinda is. How she wants someone, someday, to love her the way that he loves Buffy: all fire and passion and completely overwhelming, defying everything in its path. Yeah. She wants someone like that. And if they happen to be devastatingly handsome, in a non-big brother kinda way, then that’d be cool too.

Spike’s voice travels its peaks and valleys in the telling of his tale. It feels like old times to Dawn. When she closes her eyes, she can almost smell the cold granite and stale cigarette smoke of his crypt where she’d spent so many hours. The sound of his voice is so soothing that she soon drifts off.

Spike stops mid-sentence when he realizes Dawn is crying in her sleep. He kneels beside her and brushes a few stray strands of glistening brown hair from her face. His brow is knit with sorrow for this girl’s loss. The loss of her mother. The loss of her sister. The loss of her innocence. The possibility that she’ll lose her life. He closes his eyes and rests his head on her back, listening to her heartbeat, strong and fierce. Her breathing is normal now, and the tears have stopped, but her face is a picture of sadness. He lifts his head from her and replaces it with his hand, running it across her back in long soothing strokes.

“Shhh, Dawn. I’ve got you. Spike’s here. Shhh, pet. S’ok” His voice is low, barely above a whisper, but it’s enough to reach her in her subconscious. Her expression changes to one of a more peaceful sleep. He quietly slips into the second bedroom and retrieves the coverlet from her bed. Draping it carefully over her, he assumes a position in the armchair across from her to watch over her as she sleeps. He sits ready to come to her aid if she needs him. His girl. His Dawn. His and Buffy’s.

She’s the closest thing to a daughter he’ll ever have. All he wants in the world is to be able to be with Buffy and to watch Dawn grow and become the beautiful woman that all Summers women seem destined to be. He closes his eyes and prays to no one in particular that he’ll be granted the opportunity. He just wants to love them. Even from afar. He just wants to be allowed to love them. He’ll do anything to keep them safe through all of this, sacrifice anything.

They are his life. Without them, even one of them, there’s just too large a hole to fill.

Title: Bombs Away (Chapter 23 of Don’t Stop the Dance)
Author: Xionin
Rating: R
Pairing: Buffy/Spike. Other major characters included.
Feedback: Mercy buckets!
Disclaimer: *sniff* Joss and I broke up. I let him have his way with me and he took advantage. When I woke up the next morning, he was already dressed and leaving. ‘Why?’ I asked him. ‘You broke my heart!’ He turned his beady little eyes on me and said “I love going for the pain.”

Enjoy!

~Xionin

Previously on Buffy [courtesy of UPN.com]: Buffy's gone to the vineyard in search of whatever Caleb is guarding. She's found her old inner strength, and surprises the heck out of Caleb with a serious walloping. As they get into it, Faith and the girls find some Bringers guarding the mass of weapons in the sewer. Pow, bang, kablam: the girls do some serious damage. The Potentials defeat the Bringers, but Faith continues to look around, sure that there's something they're missing. Buffy smacks Caleb down pretty nicely, and slides into an uncovered trap door that drops into an underground chamber. Looks like the Bringers have been digging underground, and a beautifully crafted, deadly scythe juts out of a rock. They clearly couldn't remove it, but Buffy gets a wide smile, knowing she's found the object she's been searching for. Meanwhile, Faith finds what she's been searching for: it's a bomb. The explosion kills two trainees and leaves Faith incapacitated. The Potentials are faced with defending themselves. Buffy arrives in time to rescue them, and Faith, from the encroaching Ubies.

Dawn stares at the dozing vampire across from her for a long time after she wakes up. He looks dead to her and it makes her uneasy. She studies his face, the lines of his impossibly high cheekbones, his dark brow, and wonders what it’s like: immortality.

She’s been alive forever, even if she only remembers the last 16 years.

She wonders what it’s like to know you won’t die from old age or illness; that the only way you’ll go out is either in a ball of flame or a whirlwind of dust.

Dawn sits up and stretches her long limbs. She notices some wetness on her cheek and dries it, curious as to where it came from. She vaguely remembers a disturbing dream, but the details lie just beyond her grasp. She stands slowly and tiptoes around the coffee table to stand directly in front of the blonde. Kneeling down she is careful not to startle him as that would be, well, stupid. Hello, Vampire?

Spike’s skin is smooth and flawless, like water-polished marble. He reminds her of one of those armless statues she’d seen on her field trip to the Sunnydale Museum of Fine Art.

She can see the beginnings of the dark roots creeping in on his preferred white hair. She smiles at the little curls begging to be set free of their gelled prison.

Standing again, Dawn glances over to the window. The sun is low in the sky; almost low enough for them to leave. She walks over to the door, opens it, and looks out. It’s a ghost town. The only thing missing is the tumbleweed.

Stepping out and closing the door behind her, she sits on the step and takes in the peace and quiet of the early California evening. How many more will there be? Why hadn’t she noticed before how amazing this time of day is? The air is golden in the waning spring sunlight. It actually makes her think of Buffy.

Dawn wonders where her sister is and what she’s doing; what she’s facing right now.

~~~~~~~

Spike awakes with a start. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but in the absence of any sounds from the world outside, he had slipped into uneasy unconsciousness. He had wanted to watch over Dawn.

He picks up his head and looks over at the couch. No Dawn there, but he can hear her little heart beating. She’s close. Just on the other side of the front door. He stands up and glances quickly out of the bay window. The sun is pretty low. He quietly opens the door and steps out onto the porch.

She only acknowledges his presence by scooting over to give him room on the step. It’s a very Buffy thing to do and Spike smiles despite himself.

They sit in companionable silence for quite some time. Both lost in thoughts they wish they didn’t have the imagination to conceive. Death, destruction and pain are on the horizon. Dawn closes her eyes and inhales deeply. It causes Spike to look over at her.

“We should go home.” Her voice is low and older than she is.

“Yeah, ok.” He turns back to the street, but his arm goes around her shoulder. Dawn leans into him for a few moments, her eyes closed. Another tear slips out, but she brushes it away. No time to be the little girl anymore. This is a war for grown-ups.

When she sits up she looks at him and gives him a thin smile that he returns. Silently they both stand and head back inside to retrieve their things.

~~~~~~~~~

The walk home is without words: there isn’t much to say. Dawn is still simmering from the previous evening’s betrayal and Spike is nervous as hell about seeing Buffy again. As they approach 1630, Spike grabs her arm gently. She turns to look at him.

“What’s up?”

“Nothin’. Jes’…look, don’t make a fuss about…about last night.” He says in a hushed voice. “Buffy needs to work it out with them on ‘er own.” Dawn looks down and mulls over his words. He’s right. And she was about to go in there and give them another piece of her mind.

“Yeah…okay.” Spike gives her a smile. “But don’t expect me to be nice to any of them.” His smile grows wider and she rolls her eyes. They continue on.

Buffy is coming down the stairs, carrying the scythe, when the front door opens. She looks up from it and meets Spike’s eyes. They both stare for a moment before Dawn speaks.

“Hey.”

“Hey Dawnie…Spike.” Buffy glances at her sister and gives her a quick smile. Dawn looks between the two of them and grins.

“D’you tell everyone off yet? Cause I kinda wanted to see that.” She crosses her arms and smirks.

“No, there was no telling off. There was…an explosion.” Buffy’s brow crinkles and she looks at Spike who understands immediately.

“An explosion as in…?” Dawn tilts her head in confusion.

“There was a bomb.” Dawn uncrosses her arms and her eyes go wide. “Faith…she’s…”

“Oh my God, is…is she” Dawn’s expression is the picture of fear and concern.

“She’s ok, just banged up. Most of them…are alright.” Buffy looks down at her feet and then up at Spike. His jaw sets as his lips form a thin line.

“How many?” He asks, his voice low.

“Two.” Buffy’s clip whisper is all she can manage. Dawn blinks back a few tears and hugs herself.

“I’ll…I’ll go see if I can help out.” Dawn quietly slips away. Spike feels the overwhelming urge to hold Buffy, but he refrains instead turning his attention to the thing in her hand.

“So…” he nods towards the object. “You did it: Fulfilled your mission.”

Buffy looks at the weapon and nods slowly. “You got the Holy Grail or…the holy hand grenade or whatever the hell that thing is.” Buffy smiles a little and nods again.

“Right now we’re going with scythe.” She holds it up for his inspection. “You like?” Spike takes an instinctive step back, however tiny.

“Well, pet, pointy and wooden are not my thing but…it’s got flare.” Buffy descends the remaining step, smiling at his attempt to lighten her mood.

“And…everything’s okay here on the home front? Aside from…” He inquires hopefully. He knows how much Buffy needs everyone to pull together in this.

“Yep. It’s all good.” She begins walking towards the kitchen, but he dances in front of her, cutting her off.

“Look.” He hesitates a moment before looking at her. “Last night…” Buffy’s eyes dance for a moment, it confuses him but he continues. “It was just a glitch…a bit of cold comfort. Let’s not…”

“Oh.” The disappointment creeps in the Buffy’s voice immediately. “But didn’t you-“

“No. S’ok…I mean yeah, I read the note and I appreciate it. Really.” He tries to smile, it doesn’t reach the corners of his mouth. Buffy looks at him completely confused. She’d been so sure that he understood what last night meant to her, so there must be something else going on.

Maybe she had been right all along. Lust does not equal love, she’d learned that lesson the hard way. They would always be attracted to one another, but he no longer loved her that way. Did he? She’d thought she’d seen…something…in his eyes last night.

“Okay.” She blinks a few times, her brow knit. Something doesn’t feel right about this. He’s not saying something. Before she can ask, he speaks.

“This…scythe…this is what the preacher was tryin’ so hard to keep away from you, yah?” Please oh please let’s just change the subject, luv. I can’t bear this.

“Uh...yeah.” Buffy had almost forgotten what she is holding in her hands. “Willow said it was forged forever ago and something about unconsecrated ground…a tomb of some kind, a-at the edge of Sunnydale Acres. I have to go there.”

“Alone?” Spike feels a pang of fear.

“Yeah. Solo mission.” He lifts his chin at the word ‘solo’.

“Of course. I understand.” He looks away.

“Understand? What’s to- I have to do this on my own.” She looks at him, a little annoyed now.

“Right…gotcha. No need to get shir’y.” He matches her tone.

“Shirty? I'm not shirty! And what is that anyway? Is that even a word?”

“Look, Slayer, I'm not getting into this with you. You have to go alone? Fine. I’ll just...go to the vineyard and make sure everything’s nice and tidy for you.” He turns and walks away. Buffy starts to go the other way, but runs after him instead. She catches him at the back door.

“You’re a dope!” She calls out and he stops.

“I’m a what?” He looks at her as if she’s sprouted another head.

“You’re a dope..a-a-and a bonehead…and you’re shirty!” She yells, her hand on her hip.

“You’re a bleedin’ nutter, you are!” His mouth stays open in confusion.

“Do you see this?” She holds up the scythe. “This could help me win my war. This…this could be the key to everything and the reason I’m holding it is because of you!” Spike stares at her for a long moment.

“Look…I said that last night was ‘something’ for me, not ‘nothing’ and not ‘cold comfort’ or whatever the hell you-“

“Buffy-“

“No! I'm tired of this, Spike. I don’t know what you felt last night, but-“

“Terrified.” He answers softly, before he can catch himself. Buffy stops mid-sentence and her voice softens.

“Of?”

“Of…” He looks at her and suddenly grows uncomfortable. “God…I'm such a jerk. I can’t do this, Buffy.”

“Spike…” It’s a plea.

“Last night was…” He looks around for help. “It was…the best night of my life.” He finishes quietly, looking at her for any sign of trouble. When she merely waits, he continues.

“I’ve lived for soddin’ ever, Buffy. Done everythin’. Done things with you I can’t spell. But…” He sighs deeply. “I’ve never done that…made love…been close…to anyone: Least of all you.” She looks down as the pain of their past flashes over her. “But last night...I got to hold you after-…and watch you sleep...and it was the best night of my life.

“So yeah…I'm terrified.” He looks into her emerald green and tries to ignore what he thinks he sees there. He knows what’s coming. Willow had shown him. Even if Buffy does have new feelings for him, they will be gone the moment Angel arrives. That thought cuts him like a searing knife.

He’s had one amazing night with the woman of his dreams and that is all he can ever hope for; ever dream of. Later he will look on it as a gift. Right now, he’s in too much pain.

“You don’t have to be.” Buffy whispers. He looks at her perplexed.

“Were you there with me?” She nods.

“Yeah, I was.” She looks at him with all the emotion swirling inside her.

“What does that mean?” He tilts his head. A smile plays on his lips, but he pushes it away.

“Don’t you know?” She reaches up to touch his face but he steps back.

“No…no I don’t. I can’t.” He puts his hand on the door. “And...this isn’t the right time.” She frowns at his withdrawal and finds it hard to hide the hurt in her eyes. Why can’t he see?

“Y-you’re right…but…maybe later, when-“ She’s grasping onto hope that what she is seeing in his eyes is exactly what is reflected in her own.

“Nah. Let’s just drop it.” He says, looking out the door. “We’ll go be heroes.” He smiles at her a little and walks out.

“Yeah.” He doesn’t hear her. She absentmindedly bats away a tear that has escaped her eye.

Dawn walks in, quietly observing her sister. She hadn’t wanted to eavesdrop, but she couldn’t help it. These two are moving towards each other and they don’t seem to see it. Something’s in the way and Dawn can’t see what it is. She only knows that time is running out for all of them. She’ll never have what her sister has with Spike and it angers her to no end to know that they’re wasting precious time.

“Buffy.” Her voice startles the blonde out of her thoughts.

“Dawn...hey. Everything alright?” Buffy’s voice is laden with fatigue.

“I’d say no.” Dawn frowns in empathy. How can I help them? I don’t know much about this stuff, but this is stupid and has to stop. They’re both hurting.

“What’s wrong?” Buffy forgets her own pain for a moment to concentrate on her sister. “Are you holding up ok? I'm sorry about leaving you at that house, but you were in good hands.” She smiles a little.

“Yeah, I was. It’s ok, but Buffy…what’s going on with you guys?” Buffy takes a deep breath and sighs heavily.

“I don’t know, Dawn. I thought…well, I guess it doesn’t matter what I thought.” She looks away exasperated.

“You thought what?” Buffy rolls her eyes. “Hey, I may be younger than you, but I understand relationships a-and stuff…a little bit...and anyway who else are you going to talk to about this?” Buffy looks at Dawn towering over her by quite a few inches and laughs.

“Huh, I guess you’re no longer a kid, kid sister.” She reaches up and runs her fingers through her silky, brown hair. Dawn smiles.

“So? Lemme help…if I can.” She looks at her so expectantly that Buffy gives in, setting the scythe down and leaning against the doorframe.

“Spike and I…we’re…God it soooo complicated! Why does it have to be so complicated?”

“I dunno. Always seems to be that way with you.” Dawn shrugs and smiles. Buffy glares at her before she laughs softly.

“I do seem to have a pattern, don’t I.” It’s a statement.

“But you and Spike have something that could be so amazing.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Oh c’mon, I'm not blind. You are so in love with him.” Buffy blushes and nods, folding her arms protectively.

“Yeah,” she whispers. “I am.”

“So?” Dawn gives her the *duh* look. Buffy smiles at what she perceives as her sister’s naiveté.

“He doesn’t feel the same. We’re just...close friends.” It’s Dawn’s turn to laugh now.

“Are you insane? Of course he’s in love with you. What‘re you, nuts?”
Whoa…déjà vu.

“No, Dawn, he isn’t. I, in my infinite capacity to stomp all over anything good that happens to me, have succeeded in turning him away.” Buffy grumbles.

“Well, that’s not what he said.” She smirks.

“What do you mean ‘that’s not what he said’?’” She stands up straight, turning towards her. “Dawnie?”

“This afternoon…we had a chat.” Buffy’s eyes light up and it makes Dawn smile before she continues.

“And?” Dare I even hope that…

“And he’s totally completely in love with you!” Dawn smiles big this time, watching her sister process the information. Buffy’s heart skips a few beats.

“He…what? But…I don’t…he said…” She shakes her head in disbelief. He’s in love with her? Then why had he turned away again and again? “Dawn, maybe you misheard him…or…what exactly did he say?”

“He said that he is in love with you, but that this isn’t the time for him to make you all confused and stuff.”

“Make me confused? But I told him…didn’t I? Wait…” Yes she had said those three words, but not the fourth one. That’s where the confusion is?

Freakin’ semantics?

“He also said…” Dawn hesitates to tell Buffy the rest.

“What, Dawn, what did he say?” Her head is spinning. How stupid she had been. How could he take her at her word? But then she’d try to show him, last night, and what had he called it “cold comfort”?

“I...I don’t think I should be the one…to…” Dawn trails off but Buffy understands. Spike had told her these things in confidence and she is breaking it by telling her. Buffy smiles at Dawn and embraces her.

“Dawnie…you’re a good friend. And the best sister I could ever hope for.” Dawn returns her sister’s embrace and smiles. “Thank you for looking out for me.”

“Anytime.” She pulls back. “So what are you going to do?” Buffy looks at the clock and grabs the scythe.

“Right now, I’ve got a mission. But when Spike comes back, don’t let him leave. We’ll have to talk this out tonight: Once and for all.” Dawn smiles brightly.

“Yes ma’am. He won’t get away.” She mock-salutes.

“No…he won’t.” Buffy heads out into the night.

~~~~~~~

Title: When the World is Running Down… (Chapter 24 of Don’t Stop the Dance)
Author: Xionin
Rating: R
Pairing: Buffy/Spike. Other major characters included.
Feedback: Mercy buckets!
Lynne C. and Jude Space - you guys are inspirations to me.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Joss. The rest is mine all mine!!!
Bwah ha hahahaha…
Notes: Takes place during ‘End of Days’ and ‘Chosen’
Muchas Gracias: Miss Kitty and Siobhan: What would I do with out you guys?

Enjoy!

~Xionin

Previously on Buffy [courtesy of UPN.com]: Caleb is furious Buffy got away with the scythe. The First has "merged" with Caleb, and plans to do the same with everyone on earth to create a new world. Right now, though, it makes do with merging only with Caleb to provide him with strength, and for a moment, it reveals its true self. With Willow's help, Buffy finds the ruins of an unconsecrated burial ground behind the cemetery. She discovers an overgrown tomb and, once inside, she is surprised by an old woman. Once "one of many," the woman was one of the group that created the scythe hundreds of years before and placed it in the rock. It was made outside the knowledge of the Shadowmen (later called Watchers), which explains why Giles had known nothing of its existence. Since there was no one watching the Watchers, this woman became a guardian for the Slayer. "Perhaps you can beat the rising dark, she tells Buffy, “One way or the other, it can only mean an end is truly near." At that moment, hands appear behind the woman's neck and break it. It's Caleb; strong after his merge with the First, and he makes some progress in defeating the Slayer. He gets the scythe away from Buffy and holds it above her head, ready to make the kill, when an arm comes out of nowhere and clocks him. It's Angel. He helps Buffy up, and offers to fight Caleb, but she knows she must do it herself. Eventually, Buffy slices Caleb in the gut, and he falls. Angel smiles, enjoying the show.

"At least you could tell me you're glad to see me."

“I am.” She says a little stunned at seeing her first love. “S’been a long time.” She knows she’s grinning like a schoolgirl, but can’t help herself. Angel smiles at her reaction.

“Not so long that I’ve been forgotten, is it?” He steps closer to her and she begins to tremble. At the entrance to the tomb, Spike walks in but stops in his tracks when he sees the occupants. His eyes go wide and then narrow as he quietly steps back to observe from the shadows.

“H-how have y-you been?” Buffy’s knees are about to give out. Stop it! She chides herself. What are you, 16? Angel smiles a little more and tilts his head to the side regarding her.

“I’ve been better, but it looks like time has treated you well. You look amazing.” Buffy blushes and looks down. Spike clenches his jaw.

“Oh dear.” The First appears at his side in the form of Buffy, he doesn’t turn or even acknowledge it. His eyes are riveted to his love and her reaction to his grandsire. “Looks like you’ve been replaced…or…were you the replacement?” The First smiles.

“Uh thanks, you l-look...good...too.” Buffy looks like a deer caught in headlights and she takes a moment to collect herself, stepping back a bit from the man in front of her.

“I like your shiny toy.” He says grinning, glancing at the scythe. “Very scary.”

“And useful too.” She giggles nervously, avoiding his eyes.

Angel smirks and steps around her to retrieve a folder from the wall. Spike slips further into the shadows so as not to be seen. He’s more than a little miffed that neither of them has even noticed he’s there, actually. The Slayer and Angel both should’ve sensed him right away. It is obvious to him that they’re…distracted. His fists begin to clench.

Angel hands Buffy the portfolio. “I know all about what you’ve been fighting up here. Sorry I couldn’t come sooner, we had our hands full in LA.”

“Is this gonna help?” Buffy takes the dossier as she finally finds her voice.

“Yeah, I think so.” Angel says admiring her focus. This is definitely not the girl he left 4 years ago. She’s all woman now. Something tells him the experiences she’s been through have matured her pretty quickly, but he also senses something else. Something he can’t quite put a finger on.

“Is the source reliable?” She peeks inside the folder.

“Not in the least.” He says chuckling.

“Ah, well…any port in an apocalypse, right?” She mutters. He steps closer to her.

“How are you really?” He tone turns serious. Buffy sighs and her shoulders sag a bit.

“I'm…alright, considering, but…”

“But? I get the impression something’s going on with you; something non-apocalyptic.” He leans down to meet her eyes.

“That depends on your idea of an apocalypse. Things around here have been…tense.” She tucks the folder under her arm and runs her hand down her neck; Angel’s eyes follow. A shadow of lust crosses his features and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Spike. He has to restrain himself from growling.

“Yeah, Spikey…” the First taunts. “She needs you real bad.” It laughs.

“Oh yeah? Well, have you considered a move?” Angel’s not sure why he’d said the words, but the seed is suddenly flowering in his mind.

“A move?” Buffy looks at him questioningly.

“LA’s got great shopping.” His voice lowers intimately. It’s the affect she has on him. 4 years and nothing’s changes, well…seemingly nothing. She’s more beautiful than he’d remembered. And she’s more confident now. Quite a gir- no, woman.

Buffy’s eyes go wide at his blatant offer. Spike’s eyes close and he turns around only to open them again to the First grinning at him with her face.

“Wow, Spike. Guess last night really was ‘nothing’.” He does growl this time and walks through the apparition back out into the night.

“Are you…you want me to…” Buffy’s mind is suddenly flooded with memories and possibilities. “But what about…”

“Buffy-“ Angel steps into her and her head tilts up to look him in the eye. “I didn’t come here with this in mind, but…seeing you again…maybe when this is finished...”

Buffy closes here eyes. What is this? My God, I mean… Angel’s asking me to move to LA? Angel studies her face and he lowers his mouth to hers. When their lips brush each other, Buffy’s eyes pop open.

Buffy breaks the kiss and steps away from him, shaking her head to clear it. Just then, Caleb rises up and strikes Angel in the back of the head with a statuette. He slumps to the floor and Caleb steps over him.

“You ready to finish this now, you dirty girl?” He grins menacingly, his eyes streaking black evil. Buffy steps back, tossing the folder aside, and swings the scythe comfortably in her hand.

“Bring it on.”

Caleb lunges after her and she sidesteps him, swinging around with the weapon but he ducks and grabs her arm, throwing her into the wall. It hurts. She slides down but jumps right back up clutching the scythe. Angel is still unconscious on the floor.

She advances first, this time, and gets a few good kicks in before he grabs her again and throws her first to the ceiling and then to the floor. She rolls out of the way just before his foot comes crashing down where her throat would have been.

“Stop dancin’ around, girlie, you’re only puttin’ off the inevitable.” Caleb’s voice has taken on an otherworldly timbre, no doubt the effect of his infusion with the First Evil. He grabs the center of the scythe and twists her arms so that she almost loses her grip but then she pulls it, and him, towards herself; bringing her knee up to his head.

He stumbles back, momentarily fazed, but recovers quickly. He curls his arms and his fists and launches into another attack but Buffy delivers a stunning roundhouse kick to his face. It doesn’t have the desired effect, however, as he simply absorbs the energy of the blows.

He reaches for her, but she ducks and brings the scythe, blade up, to his groin. She stands in front of him, watching the pain work its way across his distorted features. A moment later she wrenches the blade upward effectively slicing the man in half.

She is standing over the remains when Angel slowly returns to consciousness. He jumps up and spins around to face her.

“Okay now I'm pissed! Where is he?” he looks at Buffy and then at the mutilated carcass on the ground. He opens his mouth in a silent ‘wow.’

“Guess he had to split.” Buffy says cheerily. Angel approaches her with an enormous feeling of pride.

“And here I thought I was coming to rescue a damsel in distress.” He smiles at her.

“Never been one for the damsel-ing.” She smiles back, but when he closes the distance between them, she turns away.

“Angel…” She looks down.

“Buffy…think of it. I mean, I know we can’t…but just having you there…” The more he thinks about it the more he wants it to happen. He’d just lost two people he loved deeply, it seems so wrong to waste time away from the one that still holds such a huge piece of his heart. Whatever there would be between them, Angel believes that they will always be a part of one another. It suddenly doesn’t make sense for them to be separated any longer.

“I-I…Angel...it’s tempting, but-“ I love Spike. She picks up the folder and pretends to skim through it.

“But what?” Angel is beginning to suspect the ‘something’ he’d sensed earlier.

“I just...can’t.” She says, walking through the entrance. When she steps outside, the cool air feels so good; she takes a deep cleansing breath. Angel follows close behind.

“Can’t or won’t?” She ignores him. “Buffy…wait up…there’s something else.” She stops and turns around.

“What is it?” Angel holds out an amulet with a clear crystal center. “What’s that?” He walks up to give her a closer look.

“I got it from the same place I got the folder. It’s meant to help in the battle. It’s supposed to worn by a champion.”

“Me?” She reaches for the object.

“No. Not you. Someone ensouled but more than human…Me.”

“You?” She looks at him, the surprise etched in her features.

“Yeah. I’ll be fighting with you.” He smiles.

“You’re going to stay and fight?” She smiles disbelievingly.

“Til the end. Shoulder to shoulder.” His voice softens. “I'm yours.”

Buffy contemplates his words, but the meaning behind them sets in.

“No.” She looks away.

“No?” It’s Angel’s turn to be confused. “What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I mean no as in you have to go back to LA.” She turns from him and walks further into the cemetery.

“Buffy, hold on…” He runs to catch up with her. “Why do you want me to leave?” she stops and turns towards him.

“Angel…if I lose…if this thing beats me…it could be days…hours even before the rest of the world goes. I need you in LA. I need a second front.” Angel squints his eyes and then he nods.

“O…K. That’s one reason. What’s the other?” Buffy panics for a moment and she turns from him and walks a little further. She’s not in any shape to handle Angel’s reaction to her feelings for-

“Is it Spike?” His voice freezes her on the spot. She turns back to him as he approaches. “I have a pretty good memory of his scent.”

“Um…can I just say gross?” She shuffles from one foot to the other and Angel picks up on her discomfort.

“Is it?” He stops in front of her, but she turns as walks even further. Angel laughs suddenly. “It is, isn’t it? Geez, Buffy! Is that why you don’t want to come to LA?”

“You don’t understand!” She says, still walking. He runs up and catches her arm, spinning her around to face him.

“Damn right I don’t! We’re talking about Captain Peroxide here! You’re throwing me over for him?” Buffy bristles at his tone.

“Spike’s different. He’s changed...He has a soul now.” That stops Angel’s mounting anger.

“He…what?”

“He has a soul, but it’s more than that. He…we…” She trails off.

“Are you in love with him?” Angel’s voice has lowered to a whisper. “Is he…your boyfriend?”

“No.” Angel sighs in relief. “But he is, in my heart.”

“You’re in love with him.” He states rather than asks. Buffy merely looks at him and he can see it.

“That’ll end well all right.” He snorts and walks over to lean on a tomb.

“I'm sorry, and what was the highlight of our relationship? Would that be when you left me or when I killed you and sent you to a hell dimension?”

“C’mon Buffy, you can’t honestly expect me to believe that-“

“That what? I love Spike? I do. I'm totally, completely, head-over-heels, nutso facto in love with him. There. Happy to hear the words?” Angel’s mouth drops open stunned. He closes it with a snap.

“But…it’s Spike!”

“You know, you’ve been gone a long time. A long time! I can’t believe you’d waltz in here and expect everything…everyone to be the same. We don’t live in a bubble up here, Angel. People grow. They change.”

“Not Spike, Buffy, I’ve known him for over a century. He doesn’t change.” Buffy exhales sharply as she levels an angry gaze at him.

“You’re bloody unbelievable!” Angel laughs out loud.

“Good grief, now you even sound like him!” He laughs again, and she soon joins him as the tension breaks. They gaze at each other for a while, both shaking their heads.

“So...tell me about your Spike,” he says quietly. She softens immediately as her feelings for the blonde lay themselves out in the open.

She tells him everything. Every detail, excluding the complete story about the time he’d attacked her. She tells him of his protection of Dawn, his enduring torture at the hands of Glory and the First. She tells him of his quest for the soul: everything. Angel slides down the tomb and sits on the grass. He is shaking his head in disbelief. This certainly doesn’t sound like the Spike he’s known for over a hundred years.

“And now…” Buffy sighs and sits next to him. “Now I’ve got to make him understand…I have to tell him…how I feel.”

“Wait. You mean he doesn’t know?” He turns to her, his brow knit in confusion.

“No. He doesn’t. It’s been a mess, Angel…a really big mess. I may have lost him, but I'm going to try to set things right. Tonight. I know he loves me, I just hope he can forgive me.” She finishes softly. Angel places his hand on hers.

“Buffy…if I know Spike at all, I think he already has. But-“ he takes her chin in his hand. “If he makes you happy, you’ve got to tell him. Now, before it’s-.” Buffy smiles, noting the pain in his features. He returns it. “Go to him.”

They both stand and embrace. Angel turns to walk away. “Oh!” He hands her the amulet. “Here.” She smiles and tilts her head.

“I have real issues when it comes to relationships, don’t I?” She asks, turning the item over in her palm.

“Who doesn’t?” He replies. “I think you’ve grown quite a bit, if you don’t mind my saying.”

“Yeah, well I don’t feel so grown–up.” She pouts. He smiles. There’s my Buffy.

“You’re still growing, Buff. Constantly. There’s no rush.”

“Yeah, I guess...I guess I’ve always thought that I needed to hurry up and get as much life in as possible you know? Before-“

“Hey, now, none of that.” They both smile. “So…you see a future with Spike?” She takes a moment to think about that.

“Yeah, I do.” She looks down so that she doesn’t see the hurt in his eyes.

“It’s okay, Buffy. Really.” He lifts her chin and looks into her eyes. “I haven’t seen this look on you, even when we were-“

“Oh Angel…don’t compare.”

“I'm not.” He smiles a little, caressing her face. “It’s just…I wish it could’ve been me.” She smiles but doesn’t respond. “But if he makes you glow…like this…” He pulls her into an embrace. “Spike’s a devoted man, Buffy. If you let him he’ll follow you to the ends of the earth. I do know that much about him.”

His voice is a whisper in her ear. She closes her eyes relishing this one last time to feel him this close. She wraps her arms around him and buries her face in his chest. He strokes her hair. They stand this way for several moments, rocking slowly back and forth. It’s the last goodbye. Finally she pulls back and looks up into his face.

“Part of me will always love you.” He smiles and the tears tickle the backs of his eyes.

“All of me will always love you, Buffy Summers.” His voice falters as he crashes his lips over hers for a moment and then abruptly lets her go and walks away without looking back.

She stands there for a moment, a few tears dripping down her face. She smiles and looks down at the amulet in her hand.

~~~~~~~~

When Buffy walks through the front door, Dawn is standing there looking…rather cross. Buffy smiles and says “It slices, it dices and it makes julienne Caleb.”

“You killed him?” Xander chirps from the dining room.

“Yep.” Buffy grins.

“Way to go, Buff!” Willow smiles in relief.

Buffy turns back to Dawn who looks less than impressed. She wrinkles her brow trying to figure out what’s wrong. Dawn huffs and kicks Buffy in the shin.

“Ow!”

“Dumbass.” Dawn arches her eyebrow. It’s very Spike-like. Buffy looks at her confused.

“What’d I do?” She turns to Xander and Anya who is massaging his shoulders.

“Don’t look at me, Buffy. All of you Summers women are violent.” Xander holds up his hands. Buffy frowns and looks back at Dawn.

“What’s going on?”

“What did you say to Spike?” Dawn crosses her arms and taps her foot impatiently.

“Huh? I haven’t seen Spike since I left. Is he here?” She attempts to step around her sister, but Dawn blocks the way.

“I don’t know what you said, Buffy, but he came back from the cemetery in a foul mood. He’s been in the basement punching things for the last hour.”

“He wha-? The cemetery…I-I didn’t see him th-…oh…oh no…” Buffy’s eyes go wide and Dawn uncrosses her arms.

“Buffy, what happened?”

“Angel.” She says quietly, bending to lean the scythe against the staircase. She hands Xander the folder.

“Angel’s here?” He asks, taking it from her.

“He was. At the cemetery.” Dawn’s mouth forms an ‘o’ but she doesn’t speak. Then the anger returns as her face goes red.

“And what was he doing here?” Buffy turns to Willow as Giles enters the room.

“H-he brought me that folder…it has information on the First. Stuff we can use.” Giles puts on his glasses and takes the folder from Xander. “He said that the source isn’t too reliable, but it’s better than nothing.”

“And that’s what has Spike so upset?” Dawn asks her. “He gave you a folder?” Willow glances up from the files and looks at Buffy.

“N-no. He must’ve…he must’ve seen Angel…kissing…me.” Buffy reluctantly looks at her sister whose eyes squint. Willow’s eyes go wide, however, and she gasps. Buffy looks over at her.

“Yeah…exactly. Look, i-it was o-only a moment, and I pulled away, but to the right person…at the wrong time...”

“It could look like more.” Anya finishes solemnly. Buffy nods.

“What’s the big?” Xander says. “I mean so what Spike saw you kissing Angel, which, I might add, is not a phrase I ever thought I’d hear myself say.”

“Shut up Xander.” Willow snips. She walks over to Buffy and Dawn who hasn’t stopped glaring at her sister.

“Buffy…where’s Angel now?”

“Gone. I sent him back to LA. Second front. He wanted to stay, but-“

“But?” Willow’s expression becomes nervous. Uh oh. Did I misinterpret the vision?

“I told him about Spike.”

“What did you tell him, Buffy?” Dawn’s tone is softer. She knows how hard it must have been for her sister to see her first love and to tell him that she had a new one, especially given the history between the two vamps. Buffy merely looks at her. “You told him.”

“Yeah.” It’s a whisper.

“Well,” Dawn takes her sister’s hands and squeezes them encouragingly. “Now you gotta tell him.” She nods towards the basement. Buffy smiles and releases her sister’s hands, steps around her and heads to the door. Everyone turns to watch her leave.

When they hear the sound of the door closing, they all turn to Dawn. Giles takes off his glasses and he looks at her.

“She’s…”

“In love.” Dawn finishes the thought, her head high. Willow frowns. Xander grunts.

“Well, duh!” Anya says which makes Dawn laugh.

“I don’t understand.” Willow says.

“That makes two of us, Will.” Xander pipes in.

“No…n-not that, I meant…I saw them…together…her and Angel. I saw them kissing.”

“How could you have seen that, Will, you’ve been here the whole night,” Xander asks.

“No, I didn’t see it, see it…I saw it...in a vision.” She looks at Giles.

“Willow…would this be the same vision you showed to Spike?” She nods.

“Wait…” Dawn crosses her arms again. “You showed Spike a vision? Of Angel and Buffy kissing?” Willow nods again as she winces. “And why?”

“Yeah, Will…why?” Xander, Anya and Giles all stare at her in various degrees of confusion, disbelief and concern.

“I-I-I thought he should be prepared.” She stammers.

“Prepared for what?” Anya asks.

“For them, her and Angel. I didn’t think she would turn him away, I mean it’s Angel!” She begins pacing. “Look, I just wanted to make sure he would still stay and fight even if he knew she didn’t want him.” She wrings her hands and then holds them out as if to say ‘see?’

“But she does want him, Willow. Wow! You don’t know what you’ve done.” Dawn’s face is reddening further still.

“Dawn...what do you mean?” Giles steps around the table and approaches her.

“I mean you…all of you…you all hate him so much.”

“Dawnie, no, it’s just-“ Willow attempts to explain.

“What? He’s not good enough?”

“He’s a…vampire, Dawn.” Xander cuts in. “I know that may seem kinda cool to you, but-“ Dawn cuts him off with a sharp laugh.

“You people treat me like a goddamned child!” She glares at them all. “You’re the children here. You turned on Buffy last night and today you act like nothing happened. She was hurting but she still got up this morning and went on with the fight. She saved your sorry asses again and you’re still trying to manipulate her!” Giles clears his throat.

“I'm sorry Giles, is my using dirty words damaging your view of me? I. Am. Not. A. Little. Girl. And Buffy is my sister. I want her to be happy. Spike makes her unbelievably happy! Had you even noticed that?”

They all look down, avoiding her accusing eyes.

“Of course not because it doesn’t fit into your narrow fucking views!”

“Dawn!”

“What are you going to do, Willow, punish me? Haven’t you done enough punishing for one day? Do you have any idea at all how close we came to losing her last night?” No one answers. “She had no intention of fighting anymore. None. I cried myself to sleep because I just knew that you had finally done it. You’d finally crushed her.” Her voice begins to break and Willow reaches out for her, but she pulls away.

“Spike brought her back to you…to us. I don’t know what happened between them, but I do know that whatever it was brought her back to me.” She turns to Willow.

“That vision stunt of yours may have cost Buffy the only shot at happiness she’ll ever get, Willow. Do you get that?” She turns to the rest of them. “Do you even see how much they love each other? Do you care? Does it get in the way of your battle plan? Your lives?” They all stare in stunned silence.

“Then why?” The tears are flowing freely now, but she ignores them. Big girls cry too. “Why do you hate her…them…so much?” She is sobbing now and Willow does take her into her arms. Giles glances around the room and all of the expressions are the same: shame and guilt.

Willow meets Giles’ eyes and she lifts her eyebrows as if to say ‘I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to.’ Giles nods. Dawn straightens up and looks around at them once more.

“Please let them have this. They really, really need each other…and we could all die tomorrow.” She finishes softly, turns and runs up the steps.

“Wow.” Xander whispers.

“Yeah.” Willow responds. They all gather around the table to look of the documents each determined to ignore what may be happening in the basement. They speak in hushed tones as the go over the new information.

~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy hears the grunts and the punches as she walks down the steps. Spike looks up when he senses her. He stops pummeling the bag and scowls.

“Hey.” She says softly.

“Where’s Peaches?” He grinds out.

“Gone.” She steps closer to him.

“Oh. Stop by for a quickie then?” She winces.

“Good. Good. Don’t hold back. I haven’t had enough jealous vampire crap for one day.” She walks past him and notices a rather crude caricature of Angel taped to the punching bag. She has to laugh. “Cute. Your work?” He ignores her.

“Buffy, I can’t do this.” He isn’t angry as much as he is resigned. She softens.

“Do what…exactly?” She repeats her question from earlier.

“This.” He points to the floor.

“Spike. I know why you’re angry.”

“M'not.” He sighs. “Well…I am, but not at you. I'm…”

“What?” She steps towards him.

“I'm mad at m’self for believin’…you could…”

“I could…what?” She takes another step and forces herself not to smile.

“Let’s not do this, luv.” His voice is a hoarse whisper. She stops advancing when she sees how deeply hurt he really is.

“Spike-“

“S’ok. I know what he means to you.” He whispers.

“No…you don’t.” She takes another step forward.

“Yes. I do. I used my enhanced vampire eyeballs to watch you two together. He still wants you. Can’t blame ‘im.”

“Yes, part of him does want me. He asked me to move to LA when this is over.” Spike feels a sharp pain in his gut. Damn you, Angel.

“I'm not going, Spike.” He tilts his head and stares at her.

“Why not? It’s what you’ve wanted.”

“Is it really?” She takes another step.

They’re less than a meter apart now. Spike searches her face, but he doesn’t know how to interpret what he sees. She smiles and reaches across the distance between them to caress his cheek. His eyes instinctively close as he leans into her touch. She steps into him. He looks down at her and begins to tremble.

She traces her finger along his jaw line, across his lips and down the bridge of his nose. His eyes go wide. She smiles again.

“Why did he leave, Buffy?”

“I don’t need him.”

“What do you need?”

“I need you, Spike.” He inhales sharply and steps back from her.

“Yeah, w-well, y-you’ve got Angel breath.”

She merely smiles. Feeling in her pocket, she pulls out the amulet.

“Wha’s that?” He eyes the object. “A gift from pookie?”

“Angel said it might help us win. He said it’s meant to be worn by someone with a soul that’s more than human.” She twirls the pendant in her fingers, watching the light play across the facets of the cut crystal. Spike is mesmerized for a moment but then he puts his hand out.

“Hand it over, then.”

“Why?” She grins.

“If Angel was meant to wear it, and you sent ‘im away, that leaves me.”

“It’s volatile. We don’t know what-”

“So? You’ll need someone strong, unless you plan t’have Super Andrew wear it.”

“It’s meant to be worn by a champion.” She states softly. His expression changes then as he realizes she doesn’t mean to give it to him. He lowers his head embarrassed to have thought himself worthy.

Buffy steps to him once more and she takes his hand. He looks up at her before watching her place the amulet in his palm. His gaze darts back to her eyes and Buffy can see the truth dawning on him as his mouth goes slack with amazement.

“Buffy-“ his hand closes around the charm. He looks at her with complete awe and wonder in his eyes. “’Been called a lot of things in my day.” She smiles with pride.

“Everyone is always so sure they know what I want.” She says quietly, again tracing her fingertips across his features. “Everyone is always so sure they get me.” She looks up into his eyes and sees the tears glistening there. She places her hands on either side of his face and brings his forehead to meet hers. He exhales slowly.

“Buffy.” It’s softer than a whisper. She closes her eyes.

“I'm in love with you, Spike.”

There is a brief moment of absolute silence. They are in a vacuum.

Buffy opens her green orbs and looks into the purest blue she’s ever known. She is trembling now.

“Say it out loud, Spike. Please. I need to hear you say it.” Tears are dancing in her eyes now too. Spike reaches up a trembling hand and wipes some of the salty liquid from her cheek. He shuts off his gaze for a moment and then looks into her green pools determinedly.

“I…am in love with you, Buffy Summers.” His voice is strong despite the shaking of his knees. Buffy smiles through a frown and then dissolves into tears as she melts into him. He crushes her to his body and rains kisses all over her hair and shoulders.

After a few moments, they pull back simultaneously. Spike wipes her cheeks again and she returns the favor. They look on each other with a new recognition. There are no barriers left. It’s all out in the open, finally. They can hardly believe it isn’t a dream.

Both gazes drift southward as they lock onto each other’s mouths. Spike leans in hesitantly and Buffy tilts her head. Both sets of eyes slowly close as their lips meet.

The kiss is oh…so…soft.

It brings more tears out of the pair, being better than they’d ever imagined.
Love tastes so different when it’s equal on both sides.

They move together instinctively and Spike lowers Buffy to the cot. He walks across the room, his eyes never leaving hers, and turns off the light. The moon casts thin ribbons of silver across the room. They hit the angles of his face and make his dark blue sparkle. Buffy loses her breath at the sight of him.

He walks over and climbs into the space between her body and the wall, bringing her close and wrapping his arms around her possessively. His touch is gentle. Buffy sighs and lays her head on his chest, draping one arm across his waist. She traps his thigh between hers. He strokes her back in small circles and kisses the top of her head.

Buffy closes her eyes and soon her breathing slows as she slips into contented sleep.

Spike follows closely behind but occasionally he wakes and squeezes her closer to him, afraid it’s all a dream.

~~~~~~

Tonight, for them, is more glorious than anything in Heaven or on earth.

It’s been a long, difficult road, but this night they get to rest.
This night, things make sense.

They know they can't hold on to this; that this is only a moment. They know that moments don't last and that they slip through your hands despite, or perhaps because of, how tightly you grasp them.

The world is running down and tomorrow they may face death.

But tonight...

Tonight theirs’ is a world of beauty: a moment of love.
There is peace to be found and they find it this night.
They find it in each other.

Tomorrow they may say it was too little and too late.

But tonight...none of it matters.

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