Title: My Kingdom For A Spikebot
Author: PaganBaby
Email: paganbaby73@hotmail.com
Rated NC-17, do not read if you're underage. Strong sexual content and adult themes. Pairings are M/F, M/M slash, implied M/M/F, and pseudo-nonconsensual sex.
Spoilers: This fic takes place during season 5, after the episode 'I Was Made to Love You' and around the time 'Intervention' was set. Joyce did not die at the end of 'IWMTLY' and Spike did not have a Buffybot made.
Summary: Buffy has the hots for Spike, but can't admit it. She has Warren do her a little favor...
Disclaimer: Joss and ME own the show and characters, I own nothing.
The poem, "My Lady's Presence Makes the Roses Red" is by Henry Constable
Thanks to Tiana for the excellent beta-ing!
Story Status: Complete

Chapter 4a


Buffy was anxious to get back home but the stupid vampires of Sunnydale decided to come out in force tonight, just to piss her off. She turned when she heard movement to her right. Spike was walking towards her. He looked up and stopped when he noticed her.

"I'm just on my way out, Slayer." He continued on his way.

She stared after him. Thinking about how sad and defeated he sounded, hearing his voice like that did something weird to her insides. Her heart clenched, part of her wanted to run to him and just hold him.

Two vamps jumped her from behind. Buffy grunted and yelped when they knocked her to the ground. She had been so involved thinking about Spike that she had let them catch her off-guard. She panicked when she found that she couldn't shake them off easily.

Spike whipped around at the sound of struggle. Buffy was squirming and struggling against the vampires, but they had managed to pin her. There was a nanosecond of indecision before he launched himself at her attackers with a fierce growl. He kicked one of them off of her and went after him, he knew she could handle the remaining one.

Buffy felt the weight on her lessen as one of the vamps got knocked away. With a quick elbow to the face, the one still holding on to her stumbled backwards, releasing her from it's grip. She wheeled on him, a high-kick to the chin followed immediately by another kick to the mid-section sent him flying back into a gravestone. She pounced on the vampire and plunged a stake into its heart. She stood up and dusted herself off. She saw Spike standing nearby, a cloud of dust raining down around him from the vamp he'd just staked.

He nodded his head curtly before turning and continuing out of the cemetery.

"Thanks...Spike," she said.

He kept walking, disappearing behind some trees. She sighed.

"Hello, Buffy!"

She whirled around to see...Spike.

Her eyes bugged out when she realized who (or what, to be exact) this Spike was. "What are you doing here? Didn't I tell you not to leave the closet?"

She looked quickly back to where she had last seen the real Spike, he was nowhere in sight.

"I got lonely. I thought maybe you got hurt on patrol and needed my help." He smiled.

She took him by the arm and ushered him out of the cemetery towards home, her eyes darting around constantly, hoping no one saw them together.

"Buffy, why--"

"Shhh! Not one word!" she hushed him.

They arrived in front of her house.

"Now, climb up, quietly! And wait for me in my room," she commanded.

He nodded and began climbing up the tree to her window.

She sighed with relief. 'That was close! What the Hell am I going to do with him? I could turn him off. But...' she was lost in thought as she entered the house.

"Buffy?" Willow called from the living room.

"Willow?"

She walked into the living room to find Xander, Tara and Willow sitting on the couch.

"What are you guys still doing here? It's late."

"We were going to leave, but..." Willow said.

"Were you aware that Spike was gay?" Xander asked bluntly.

"Huh? Wha?"

"Spike told us he was gay," Tara explained. "He said he told you about it, and you told him not to admit it."

"No, he most certainly did not!" Buffy gaped. "He's not...he can't be..."

"He stood right there and said it," Xander pointed to the stairs.

"He was here? In the house?" Buffy asked, fear creeping in to replace her shock.

They had talked to the Bot and thought it was Spike. Where had the gay thing come from?

"You didn't invite him in?" Willow asked, furrowing her brow.

"Um--yes. Yes I did...but...he told you he was gay?"

"Yeah, he said that he came out of the closet. I can't believe that he's finally just coming to terms with it after all these years," Willow said.

"He was probably just--pulling all your legs!" Buffy laughed nervously. "Like Spike could be gay, yeah right! He's probably off somewhere laughing because he fooled you guys."

She prayed that they'd believe her.

"Maybe," Willow said skeptically.

"I don't think so. No guy would admit to being gay, even for a joke, unless he really was," Xander said. "And when exactly did you forgive him for the whole chaining you up thing?"

"Uh--life is too short, to--ya know...to hold grudges. He won't--bother me anymore," Buffy said.

"I still think he was telling the truth about being gay," Willow said. "He seemed, like a whole new vamp. All happy and pleasant. A lot of people who come out are much happier once they admit the truth."

"Yeah, he was all 'Smiley Joe' all of the sudden," Xander said, still not able to get the images of naked Spike and Angel wrestling in an inflatable pool filled with oil out of his head (he added the pool to the image on his own).

He was disturbed greatly when he felt a telltale stirring in his pants.

"I have to go!" he blurted out. "I'll see you guys tomorrow." He went out the front door in a hurry.

"What got into him?" Tara asked.

Buffy went to her bedroom after convincing Willow and Tara to go home. Spikebot sat on the bed, a hangdog expression on his face. She had intended to chew him out about leaving the closet and talking to people when she explicitly told him not to, but he was so adorable when he pouted. She sighed and sat next to him.

"Why didn't you obey me?" she said tiredly.

He looked down sheepishly. "I thought you weren't going to come back."

"Haven't I come back every other time?" she asked, trying to be patient.

"Yes. But--I thought--maybe you wouldn't this time."

"Spike...if you can't follow my orders, I'll have to...deactivate you," she said reluctantly.

His head snapped up. "No, please don't! I'll be good! Don't deactivate me!" he pleaded with her.

She felt like an ogre. She didn't know how Warren had done it, but he didn't create just a robot. Spikebot had feelings and emotions, and he feared 'death' or the robot equivalent of it.

"I'll try to be more like the other Spike and I'll stay in the closet, just like you told me."

Buffy was seriously rethinking her treatment of him. Even though he lived to please her, she had treated him like a thing, an object to be used and put away at her discretion. Her behavior towards him was atrocious. She put her face in her hands. Spikebot looked at her curiously.

"Buffy? I'm sorry I angered you. Please don't be upset with me. I'll make it up to you, pet."

She groaned, "I'm a terrible person."

"No! You are a wonderful person. You are the Slayer. And I love you."

"You're only saying that because you're programmed to," she said sadly.

He kneeled on the floor before her, looking up at her with unbridled adoration.

"I say that because that's how I feel. I do love you. You are everything to me, luv."

"I treat you so badly...making you stay in a closet all day...not letting you talk to other people. I have to find Warren and send you back to him. I shouldn't have had you made for me, it was selfish and..."

He stood up. "No! Please don't send me away! I'll be good!" he panicked.

"Spike, it's not a matter of you being good. It's me. I was wrong when I made Warren create you, I realize that now...finally. You are so sweet and gentle and--"

"I won't go!" he shouted. Tears leaked from his eyes. "Why don't you love me? You said you loved me!"

"Oh God, please don't cry!"

She felt like the world's biggest asshole for making an innocent creature like him cry again. Even when she tried to do the right thing, she hurt people...and robots too.

"It's him isn't it?" he asked through his tears, his eyes narrowing to slits. "It's the other Spike you love, not me." His jaw clenched. She hadn't seen him so angry or upset before.

"Spike...please don't be jealous. I--"

"I won't let him have you. I'll kill him first! You'll have to love me when he's gone!" he said then ran out the door and down the stairs before she could react.

"Spike! NO!"

She chased after him down the stairs and out the open front door. She looked around for him frantically, but he was no where in sight.

"Spike! Come back!" she called.

Spike sat at the bar in The Bronze nursing a beer. Seeing Buffy tonight had been almost unbearable. He couldn't deal with the knowledge that she had a new man in her life. A man that, unlike that git Finn, had the sexual chops to satisfy her very, very well, judging by the sounds he heard emanating from her bedroom window the other night. Spike didn't think he would have the stomach to see them together. Wallowing in self-pity, Spike drained his beer and ordered another. He planned on getting completely drunk again to deaden the pain, and he was well on his way.

Xander walked in the club. He needed a good, stiff drink. That scene with Spike at Buffy's house had him rattled. His face flushed when he thought about it. He couldn't get images of naked Spike kneeling in a pool filled with oil, rubbing it all over his body and beckoning to Xander with a sly smirk out of his mind. Much to Xander's embarrassment (and confusion), the image made him rock hard.

'I'm not attracted to Spike! Not at all! Not even a little...curious. Nope. Not a bit. It was just a-- fluke, that's all.' Or so he kept trying to convince himself.

He stopped short when he saw Spike at the bar.

'Ohgodohgodohgod! I can't face him! He'll know! Take it easy, Xan-Man. You can--talk to him. You can prove that you aren't attracted to him. Yeah...that's what I'll do...'

He took a deep breath and sidled up next to Spike at the bar.

Spike was talking to the bartender. "You ever wonder why we all were given the capacity to love?" he looked at the employee badge on the bartender's shirt, "Tommy?"

"Nope. Can't say that I have," Tommy said, not paying much attention as he prepared a drink for another customer.

"Well, I know why. It's one big bloody fuckin' cosmic joke, that's what it is." Spike took another drink. "You give your heart to someone--an' they just throw it on the floor--an' spit on it an' stomp on it, grindin' it under their bloody heel. The joke's on us, mate!"

"Yeah, ok. I think you've had enough for tonight," Tommy said, then moved to take an order from the other end of the bar.

Spike snorted and turned his head, noticing Xander's presence.

"For the record, I was here first. So you can just piss off if you 'ave a problem," he said, slurring his words slightly.

"Wha--? Spike, chill out, will you? I know I reacted--strongly--before, but I'm...okay with us being friends...if you still want to..." Xander tapped his fingers on the bar nervously.

"Friends? What are you on about? Someone give you a lobotomy or somethin'? Just...go away." He drank from his bottle.

"Um--are you drunk?" Xander asked.

From what he heard Spike saying to the bartender, Xander guessed that Spike must have struck out with a guy and came here to drown his sorrows.

'Ask him to come home with you.' a voice spoke up in Xander's head. 'Where the Hell did that come from?'

He watched as Spike took another long drink. His lips wrapped around the top of the bottle, his eyes closed, Adam's apple bobbing.

'Wonder what it would be like to have his lips wrappedaround--'

"Go 'way," Spike muttered, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand when he noticed Xander observing him.

"Do you--have someone--I mean, somewhere to go...to sleep it off?" Xander couldn't stop the line of questioning. He couldn't deny the fact that his cock was jumping and twitching at the thought of Spike's lips, lips of Spike, wrapped around him, bobbing up and down on his cock.

'It's just...natural curiosity...' Xander thought.

He wanted to take him home with him. Anya was working late tonight, so late that she said she'd just sleep at the Magic Box. And she did encourage him in sexual experimentation...she'd mentioned wanting to find another person to join them in the bedroom for a little added fun. He could--take Spike for a trial run--just to see if he was into it.

"What do you care? You playin' some kind of game with me?" He stood up, getting in Xander's face.

Xander shook his head 'no' and gulped.

"Cause I'm not in the bloody mood. What is it, eh? You buddy up to me, get me all with the trustin' then you yank the rug out from under my feet? Well, I'm not playin' 'Kick the Spike' anymore. Fuck you, wanker." He pushed past Xander and wove his way out the front of the club.

Xander followed and found him right outside the front entrance. Spike was leaning against the wall with his back to him.

"Spike? What's wrong? You were in such a good mood before..." He stepped around Spike to look at him face to face.

He was surprised to see a tear rolling down Spike's cheek.

"Spike?"

"Get the fuck away from me!" Spike snarled, wiping at his face. "I don't need you laughin' at me on top of everything else! I'm a bloody mess, Harris." He slid down the wall to sit on his butt. "I have to get out of this soddin' town!" he half-sobbed.

Xander crouched down next to him. "Spike, let me help you." Xander helped Spike get back to his feet

Spike pushed him away. "Get away. 'M leavin'." He swayed a bit then started walking down the street.

"Spike! Come on, you're in no condition to--"

"Piss off!" Spike broke into a run and turned swiftly into an alley.

"Spike! Hey! Sonuvabitch!"

Xander stood there with his hands on his hips, not knowing what he should do. If something were to happen to Spike, it would be his fault, he's the one that made Spike take off like that. He sighed and started jogging in the direction Spike went.

Buffy burst into the crypt, breathing hard from having run all the way here. A lamp was on by the TV but otherwise, the place was empty.

"Spike?" She looked around. "Are you here, Spike?"

She felt the TV, it was cold. Where had Spike gone after she saw him in the cemetery? Where had the Bot gone? She was sure this would be the first place he'd look for the real Spike. She didn't know if she should stay here and wait for one of them to show up or look elsewhere.

"Oh God, kill me now!" She plopped down in Spike's TV watching chair.

Xander wandered around the streets and back alleys looking for Spike. He thought he saw him come through an alley a minute ago but lost track of him again.

"He sure moves fast for someone who's drunk off his ass," he grumbled. "Going to get myself killed trying to save his stupid undead hide..."

The alley was dark and dreary and scary as hell. Anything could be lurking in the shadows, waiting to jump out at him. His eyes darted around as he walked quickly through to the light on the other side. Just as he was about to emerge onto the street he heard what sounded like someone weeping. He stopped and walked slowly over to where the sound came from. A figure was huddled against the wall. As Xander moved closer and his eyes adjusted to the dim light, he saw that it was Spike.

"Spike?" he said softly. "Are you okay?" It was a stupid question, he knew it, but he didn't know what else to say.

Spikebot looked up, tears on his face. "Xander...you're a construction worker," he sniffled.

"Yeah...that's right. Come on, man. Let's get you inside."

Spikebot allowed him to help him stand.

Xander was beginning to think there was something really wrong with Spike. He was acting so weird, so un-Spikelike. Was it just the coming out thing that made him so different? Or maybe he was schizophrenic or had multiple personalities or something. Spike was much more pleasant and cooperative than normal at the moment. Xander hoped that this Spike would stick around. He could deal with this Spike.

Xander led him back toward where he parked his car, before they had started on their merry chase.

"Where are we going?" Spikebot asked, wiping away his tears.

"I'll--take you home...to my place. You can stay there for tonight."

"I have to go. I have to find him. I'm going to kill the wanker," Spikebot said single-mindedly.

Xander shook his head. Some jerk had broken Spike's poor, undead, recently gay heart. Wanting to kill someone, now that sounded more like the old Spike.

"You can find him tomorrow."

Spikebot thought about it, then nodded. He flashed Xander a stunning smile. "Maybe you could help me find him!"

"Yeah, sure...But not tonight, okay?"

"Okay, mate. Have you decided to be my boyfriend, Xander?"

"Uh--I don't...um--maybe..." Xander gulped.

Spike seemed to be having some bizarre mood-swings tonight. Were there psychiatrists that treated the undead? He'd have to look into that in the morning.

"I'm glad. I like you."

"I--uh--like you too....Spike--sort of. There's my car, let's go."

Xander's heart pounded in his chest, his mind was awhirl with erotic images of Spike and himself.

Spike stumbled his way through the cemetery.

"Stupid, bloody, Xander Harris. Thinks he can fool ol' Spike, does he? Well, FUCK HIM!" he spun in a circle and yelled. "I'm smart...I'm smarter than him."

He opened the door to his crypt and ran into Buffy.

"Bloody Hell! Watch where yer goin'!"

"Spike! Oh my God! You're okay!"

She touched him on his face and chest to verify that he was indeed whole, relief and happiness washed over her.

"Wha's wrong w-with you? What are you doin' here? Get out!" he muttered, pushing past her into the crypt.

He stumbled over to the sarcophagus and threw himself down on it.

She walked over to him. "Spike, are you okay?"

He laughed. "Oh yeah, I'm doin' great! Leave me alone..."

He turned his face away from her.

"Did you see...anything--interesting tonight?" she asked carefully.

"No," he mumbled.

"You sure? Nothing?" She was so relieved that he was alright, pissed drunk, but alright. The Bot obviously couldn't find him.

"Yes. Now go 'way. Go back to your boyfriend."

"Boyfriend? What boyfriend?" She was confused.

He sat up abruptly.

"Don't--don't bother denying it, Slayer. I know you got another guy." He hiccupped.

"I--I don't know what you're talking about," she said warily.

"I bloody heard you...I just 'appened to be passing through on my way to--somewhere else, when I heard you wailing like a fucking banshee...or is that like a banshee that was bein' fucked..." He giggled despite his agitated state.




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