A Different Life: Part 7

Buffy entered the restaurant with a smile on her face. Thanks to Giles’ warning she was unconcerned when she didn’t see him there. She was a bit early anyway. Securing a booth she sat down and stared out the window. Buffy couldn’t wait to see him, to touch him. The longing for him had been strong all day and now that she was minutes from seeing him, the anticipation was at a fever pitch.

Buffy was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn’t notice someone standing by her until she spoke. “Slayer.”

Buffy spun her head to see who had spoken. Her eyes widened at the sight. It was a woman, but not an ordinary woman. She was tall and severe looking but with a beauty that was almost unearthly. Her hair was long and fell in ringlets almost to the small of her back. Buffy at first thought she was dressed in white but every movement revealed flashes of color, too many colors to count. Recalling what the woman had said Buffy shook her head. “I’m not…”

Again the woman spoke. “Slayer, we must talk.” Her voice sent shivers up and down Buffy’s spine. It was as if several people were talking.

Buffy tried again, but she could feel her fear start to grow. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not…”

The woman reached out a hand and touched Buffy’s forehead. Buffy gasped and if she hadn’t been sitting she would have fallen as all her memories came crashing back. And this time when they came back they came back full force. With all the emotions, the pain, the horror. Buffy’s eyes widened and she pressed up against the back of the booth, trying to put as much distance between her and this being, whatever it was. Buffy cried out. “Go away. Leave me alone.”

The woman touched her again and Buffy found herself standing in a patch of light in a room that was otherwise dark. She tried to move away but she could not get past the light into the darkness. Looking at the woman Buffy spoke angrily. “What do you want with me? Why are you doing this?”

“You are the Slayer.”

“No, not any more.” She started to cry and fell to the floor. “Not any more. Please.” Her new life seemed far away, except for Giles. Giles was so clear in her mind and in her heart. She screamed for him. “Giles!”

“He cannot hear you. Even were he here he would not be able to see you.”

Buffy moved away as far as she could. It was still too close. “What do you want with me?”

“You are the Slayer. You are needed.”

“I’m not the Slayer.” She shook her head. “I used to be or I once was, but I didn’t get called this time. Someone else is the Slayer, not me.”

“You have lost your way. This life is not your destiny.”

Buffy’s heart clenched within her chest. She hated that word; she hated that word with a passion. “I fulfilled my destiny.”

“No, you ran from it.”

Buffy gritted her teeth. “I didn’t run from it. I gave it to someone else. Let her deal with this. Let her be the Slayer, whoever she is. I did it long enough, I died for it too many times.”

“This is not your choice to make. You cannot give away this responsibility.”

“Why not? Is there another Slayer?”

“Yes.”

“So I didn’t get called. Not this time. You have your Slayer. Why come to me?”

“She does not have your strength. She is not strong enough to combat the evil.”

Buffy lashed out. “That sounds like your problem, not mine.”

“It was your responsibility. You were able to fight back this evil. But now, in this new reality, the evil has been allowed to grow too strong. We have been sent to correct this.”

Buffy snarled. “Who the hell are you?”

“We represent the Powers That Be.”

“So who the hell was that man who gave me my wish? I like what he was selling better.”

“He is a demon. A trickster. His name is Gazrok and he longs for the power of the Hellmouth and you have given it to him.”

Buffy stood, her posture defiant. “I have given him nothing. I have been living my life, living the life I want.”

“You have been living a lie.”

Buffy’s voice was thick with more tears. “It’s not a lie. It’s real. I’m real. Giles is real. I belong here with him.”

“You belong to your duty.”

Buffy moaned as she thought of her duty. As she thought of what it had done to her, of what would be waiting for her if she returned. She sank to her knees. Not even Giles. Not even the Giles of that life. “I can’t. It’s too much to ask.”

“You must return. As must your Watcher.”

Buffy looked up at the woman. “Why? Why does he have to return? He’s gone. He’s not even there anymore.” Buffy sat and brought her knees up to her chest, hugging them tightly against her. “Don’t ask me to do this. Please.”

The woman raised a hand. “Watch.” There were 10 women standing around the Hellmouth. Buffy recognized four of them. Willow, Tara, Amy, and Jenny. Buffy’s eyes widened as she took in Jenny.

Buffy pointed. “She’s dead.”

“No, not in this reality. Angelus was killed before he could murder her.”

Buffy’s eyes filled with tears at the thought of Angel being dead. “Why are you showing me this?”

“Gazrok has deceived these women, much as he deceived you. He is a master of disguise, a master of knowing one’s weakness. The Hellmouth was never properly closed. Three times as Slayer you fought to keep it closed and three times you were successful. The other Slayer has not been as successful. It has only been partially closed. Gazrok came to some of these women and told them that if they became familiar with the power of the Hellmouth that they could learn its secrets, that they could learn how to close it. That they alone held that power, that they alone could save the world.”

“Their pride made them blind. He seduced them and they have now bound themselves to the Hellmouth. It now owns them. And Gazrok will use that power to open the Hellmouth and destroy all that you once held dear. Behold what has been foretold.”

Buffy watched in horror as the Hellmouth opened and evil oozed out of it. She watched as Gazrok stole the witches’ power, consuming them until there was nothing left but empty shells that crumbled in the wind. Tears coursed down her cheeks as Buffy watched Willow and Tara die. She watched as Xander was torn apart by demons and then the faces became too many to differentiate. The screams too painful to listen to. They were all dying; the entire city was being destroyed.

And she watched as Gazrok, satisfaction on his face as he watched Sunnydale be consumed by flame, full of his new power, turned his attention north towards LA. And Buffy knew, even if she kept this life, that her family would die if she didn’t stop this. She looked up at the woman. “What do I need to do? How do I stop this from happening?”

“You do not need to stop it. If you take your place, if you undo this wish, this future will simply cease to be. You will have closed the Hellmouth as the Slayer. Gazrok knew the only way he could succeed would be with a weaker Slayer, so he deceived you and he removed you.”

“What took you so long to figure this out? Why wait until now, when this life is so important to me?”

“It wasn’t until this future was foretold and we studied it that we became aware that the balance had shifted, that changes had been made to the timeline.”

Buffy covered her face with her hands. She was filled with an unbearable longing for Giles to hold her. To be safe within his arms, ignorant and loved. She thought of the Giles she had known and the Giles she now knew. The contrast was startling. He was happy here. And he had not been happy in Sunnydale. Buffy started to cry as she realized what being her Watcher had done to him.

It had almost destroyed him. She thought of his solitude, his drinking, his sadness, his weariness. And she thought of the Giles of this life, his ready smile and easy laugh, his friends, how much satisfaction he got from his job. She smiled through her tears as she thought of Ethan and Rayne. His silly dogs that he loved so much, and his sister. Buffy thought for a moment, trying to remember something. Something Willow had told her. Buffy had been wondering about Giles’ family one day and Willow had told her that he used to have a sister, but she had been killed by a vampire. It had happened shortly before Giles had come to be her Watcher, while he was still at the Council.

Buffy shook her head. She couldn’t do that to him. She wouldn’t. Drying off her tears she stood again and looked at the woman. “Can you make me do this?”

The woman shook her head. “No. We can only show you what comes of your choice.”

Taking a deep breath Buffy spoke. “I’ll come back. But Giles stays here. He gets to keep this life.”

“That is not possible.”

“That’s the deal. You get me alone, or you get nothing.”

“If he does not become your Watcher the past will change.”

“It’s already changed with me not there. But if I come back at least you’ll have me. You need to figure out if I’m strong enough. If I’m strong enough without him to keep the Hellmouth closed. None of the rest of it matters.” She would give him this. It was the very least of what he deserved, for all he had done for her, for all he had given up without complaint, without blame.

The woman closed her eyes and grew very still. Buffy stood silent as she waited. Finally the woman’s eyes opened. “It is sufficient. He will keep what he has. You will come back if we agree to this? You will deny this wish you made?”

Buffy fought back more tears. Her heart screamed at the thought of denying this wish, of turning away from this love she had found with Giles. She honestly didn’t know if she would survive this choice. But then, it didn’t really matter. If she went back, if she never left, she would have done her duty, and kept the Hellmouth closed. And if then she died, she’d be done. Done for the last time. And Giles would be safe and he’d be happy. Squaring her shoulders she looked at the woman. “Yes. I’ll come back. I will deny the wish.”

The woman nodded and Buffy found herself back at the restaurant, still sitting in her seat, the woman standing in front of her. The woman held out her hand. “We must go.”

Buffy nodded. Sliding out of the booth she walked up to the bar. Getting the bartender’s attention she asked a question. “Do you know Rupert Giles?”

The bartender grinned. “Sure do, luv.”

Buffy smiled sadly. “Will you give him a message for me?”

He pushed a napkin and a pen at her. “Just write it down. I’ll make sure I get it to him.”

Buffy nodded and she picked up the pen. She wanted to write something that would explain why she was gone, why she wouldn’t be back. Finally she wrote: ‘There was an emergency and I had to go home. I’m sorry. I love you, Buffy.’ She handed it to the bartender. “Please make sure he gets this. He’ll be expecting me.”

“No problem.” The bartender taped it to the mirror behind the bar. “I won’t forget.”

Buffy nodded. Feeling as if her heart were actually breaking she took the proffered hand the woman was holding out. No one even noticed when the two of them vanished from sight. The writing on the paper began to fade until it disappeared. Then the note simply faded away.

***

Giles was sitting in his office when he heard her scream. He heard Buffy scream out his name. He was out of his seat and running before he was even consciously aware of it. As he raced down the hallway he yelled for her. “Buffy? Where are you?” He continued to run, having no idea where he was going.

He ran into a guard who was racing towards him in response to his call. “What is it, Dr. Giles? What’s wrong?”

“Did you hear that? Did you hear a woman scream?”

The guard looked confused. “No, I only heard you yelling.” He looked concerned. “Are you okay?”

Giles let out an exasperated noise. “I’m fine. You really didn’t hear anyone?”

“Just you.”

Giles ran his hand through his hair. It had been so clear. He knew he heard it. Somehow, Buffy was in danger. His gut was tense and a feeling of dread started to crawl over him. Looking at the guard he spoke quickly. “Let me out. I have to leave, now.”

“No problem, Dr. Giles.”

The guard had to run to keep up with him and he shook his head as he watched Giles take off outside as if the place was on fire. Shrugging his shoulders he locked up again and went back to his rounds.

Giles burst in the door of the restaurant and looked for Buffy. He looked at his watch and saw that he was only a few minutes late. Trying to quell his panic when he didn’t see her he reasoned that she might be late, that there might be nothing wrong. He didn’t believe it, not for a moment. He headed up to the bar.

The bartender saw Giles and grinned at him. “Hey Rupert. How’s tricks tonight?”

Giles smiled quickly. “Fine, thanks. Have you seen a very attractive, petite blond in here? I’m supposed to meet her for dinner.”

The bartender grinned. “Blind date?”

Giles shook his head. “No, no, we’re together, I just…I don’t see her…I thought you might have.”

He shook his head. “No, no one’s come in who looks like that. I’d have noticed a pretty blonde.”

Giles nodded. “Okay, thanks.” Giles wandered through the small restaurant and even sent another woman into the restroom on the off chance Buffy might be there. He just knew that something had gone terribly wrong. After determining that she wasn’t in the restaurant Giles sat in a booth near the door. His eyes scanned the outside sidewalk and every time someone came in the door his heart leaped and then sank in disappointment when it wasn’t her.

He waited two hours for her. Giles had a couple of beers and ended up ordering dinner although all he did was push the food around on his plate. He checked for messages both at work and at home in case she had called and left a message. He sat there, sick at heart, and full of fear. Finally he headed home.

End Part 7