Quotes

"Birthday"

Written by: Mere Smith
Quote List compiled by: Hazel

Cordelia: I'd - just like to say thank you. You believed in me when no one else would. Even in my darkest hours you were there for me (almost starts crying) and that means more to me that you'll ever know. (sniffs) I guess what I'm really trying to say is - I love you. - To all my fans: (Holds up a scrub brush in plastic gloved hand) this is for you!

Gunn: Ladies. Less yammering, more scrub.
Cordelia: My, Gunn. Don't you look - sterile.
Gunn: Couple more hours of sniffing that industrial cleanser, I think I might be. Hey, I don't suppose you ladies wanna trade jobs?
Cordelia: Ah - hmm. Scrape up Wolfram and Hart's entrails off floor, hmm - Fred?
Fred: You're screwed.

Fred: Did you make a wish?
Cordelia: I sure did. Ah, Jude Law was a little busy, huh?
Fred: Oh, how disappointing for you. Well, I guess you won't be wanting the presents we...
Cordelia: Oh, wanting. Wanting presents.

Cordelia: Oh - what a cruel dilemma: presents of sweet little baby face. (suddenly) Take the baby.
Angel: You're choosing birthday gifts over my kid?

Gunn: I think Phantom Dennis was expecting the birthday girl.
Fred: Oh. Hi there. I-I know we haven't been formally introduced... Actually I'm not sure how to introduce myself to someone who is, you know - former. But, I'm Fred. (Reaches out and shakes the top of the party hat) It's nice to meet you.
Gunn: Fred, you are - you are so cool.

Fred: No what's wrong is you picking through Cordy's support - things.
Gunn: What - this? Come on, you're telling me you never hid anything in your underwear drawer?
Fred: I don't know. I mean, for five years I didn't even have... Can we not talk abut my underwear, please? - And put that down.

Angel: I don't know. I had this dream that, uh - Cordy was here. She was - ah, trying to tell me something. Something really important.
Cordelia: Yes! And, and...?
Angel: It's weird.
Cordelia: *How* are *you* a champion? In what *way* are *you* a champion?

Cordelia: You're - you're - death? You've come to take me.
Skip: (Laughs demonically) Kidding.

Cordelia: Is this... This is a mall.
Skip: We just figured you'd be more comfortable here.
Cordelia: We?
Skip: The Powers That Be.
Cordelia: The Powers That Be popped me out of my body and sent me to a mall?
Skip: Actually, this is more a construct of a mall. You know, like in the Matrix.
Cordelia: You've seen the Matrix.
Skip: Oh, I love that flick. When Trinity is all 'dodge this' and the agent just crumples to the... and I'm not really instilling any *awe* anymore, am I?

Cordelia: I'd, ah, score a touchdown?

Marti Noxon and David Greenwalt (singing): Yes, you can hear it in her laughter. - Ooh, you can see it in her smile. - Yeah, you'll be hanging from the rafters. - Ooh, you better stay awhile. - Ooh, better stay awhile. - - Yes, the whole world is full of laughter. - Ooh, you got my heart a little wired. - Yeah, you'll be hanging from the rafters. - Ooh, better stay awhile. - Ooh, you better stay awhile. - Ooh, better stay awhile...

Cordelia: I want something. Hypo-something. Hypothermia?
Nev: Josh, lets get a large tub of ice water to Miss Chase's dressing room, pronto.
Cordelia: No, that's not it.
Nev: Canceling ice water.
Cordelia: Hyper... hyperbaric?
Nev: Josh, make it an oxygen tent.
Cordelia: No, that's not it either.
Nev: Canceling tent.
Cordelia: Hyperion! That's it!
Nev: The hotel.
Cordelia: Yes. I wanna go there.
Nev: Terrific. When would you like me to... (Cordy is already walking on) Now? Now you would like to... (Cordy snaps her fingers in the air without looking back at Nev) Without security? Without an entourage of me? Right. I'll give them a call. (To phone) Josh, car, side door, now.

Concierge: Ah, yes. Designed by renowned artist Jacques Latour. Part of the remodeling we... (Cordy starts to rip some of it off the wall) Ha, ha... - Mmm, I hate that wallpaper. That's bad, bad wallpaper.

Gunn: Hey, is it true that you and Wes were... You know, that you had a little...
Cordelia: ...humiliating kiss where he drooled all over my chin? Yeah. But I worked *really* hard to repress it.
Wesley: Right. Well, as much as I'm enjoying this forced death march down memory lane...

Skip: We've been over this. I respect what you're trying to do. It's noble and heroic, and all that other Russle Crowe 'Gladiator' crap.
Cordelia: You've seen...
Skip: Didn't love it.
Wesley: Cordelia, what is the last thing you remember?
Cordelia: When? I've been so... Oh. You mean the vision downstairs. No, I had a vision, but it's been taken care off. There was this actress, and an one-armed guy. It's a long story. But right now, we have to solve my vision.
Lorne: The one you just said was taken care of?
Cordelia: No. The one I'm having right now. There is a young man in a park in Glendale. Uh, somewhere near a pond. There is a demon waiting for him. He's red with four, no make that five horns.
Angel: Uh, Cordy?
(She is floating.) Cordelia: What?

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