destructo-girl.com

"Celestial Light"

Author: Alexandra Huxley
Email: alexandrahuxley@yahoo.com
Notes: Thanks to Cynthia and Moe for beta-ing, everyone who asked for a sequel to Fireworks, and Stacy, for that little extra boost...This story started out under a different title, "Fireworks," which won the 2002 Starcrossed Summer of Love June Challenge and Grand Prize. If you read that story, you've already read sections 1-4 (with a few slight changes), but stay tuned - there's more on the way.

Is this the region, this the soil, the clime,
Said then the lost Archangel, this the seat
That we must change for Heav'n, this mournful gloom
For that celestial light?
- John Milton, Paradise Lost

"Because you're fourteen. That's why. I don't need another reason." He mouthed the next words as they came out of the twins' mouths.

" 'But Dad' nothing. You are not going to the fireworks by yourselves." He saw the glance that was exchanged between them and folded his arms, waiting to see what was coming next.

"It's not by ourselves, Dad," Kate said, in the overly exasperated tone that only teenagers managed to do well. "*Every*one's going. You're the only one who hasn't said yes yet."

Good cop, bad cop. Kate playing the petulant teenager so that Annie could chime in with the reasonable-

"Or maybe you could come, Dad. Then there'd be a responsible adult and everything."

Translation: none of the other parents were willing to give up their Fourth of July to chaperone a bunch of kids.

A given - Graham's son Josh was a few weeks younger than the twins and had been their constant companion since they were four years old.

"Beth and Ben," Annie chimed in, naming the other two members of the group that had been hanging out together since April vacation.

"Aunt Sarah mentioned you hadn't been to the fireworks in a long time and you might want to come along," said Annie, trying to get the conversation back on track.

"She did, huh?" Riley said as he picked up the phone and dialed the number. "Aunt Sarah said that because she knew that there was no way-"

"So they already got to you," Sarah Miller said, having answered the phone midway through his sentence. "Graham was supposed to call you."

Riley could hear something reasonably heavy being thrown across the room. He figured it made contact when he heard Graham's "Ow!"

"Oh, Riley - please?" Sarah asked. "Pretty please with chocolate sprinkles on top? You know Josh won't go if Kate and Annie don't. And none of the other mothers can do it."

He ignored the 'other mother' comment, as he had finally learned to do after years of protest. "Gee. Wonder how the girls got this whole manipulative thing so down pat."

"I swear I wouldn't ask but Mitch is at camp and Graham's sister said she'd take the baby for a few days and we haven't had a chance to be alone like this since she was born."

"Sam is three years old," Riley said, "not exactly a baby. And I distinctly remember taking all three of your kids - Josh, Mitch *and* Sam - to the beach for an entire week last summer so that you and Graham could be alone. You still owe me for that one."

Riley was greeted with silence on the other end of the line. And from across the counter, with two faces clearly conveying that if he didn't say he'd go, and therefore they could, their entire existence would come to an end.

He leaned back against the fridge and let out an exaggerated sigh, hiding his smile as Kate and Annie flew at him, hugging him. A chorus of "thank you, Daddy"s came out of their mouths before they ran out of the room giggling and talking about what they were planning to wear.

"O.k., Sarah, how about this: Josh can come over early so you and Graham can start your romantic day with a picnic on the Esplanade staking out enough space for *everyone*. We'll plan on getting there around six." Watching the Fourth of July fireworks with hundreds of thousands of people was one thing; spending the entire day staking out a spot with six teenagers who had just discovered what hormones were was another entirely.

"Whoa. Hold on. You distinctly said 'none of the other mothers'." He was going to kill her. "Sarah - if this is a set-up, I take back everything I just agreed to."

"Her name is Jean and she's a total sweetheart," Sarah said, completely ignoring him. "This way you'll have something to think about other than six horny teenagers."

"I have plenty of things to think about. And I have books to read, the Boston Pops to listen to. Plenty of things."

"Come on - when was the last time you went out on a date, Ri? It's been almost nine years."

"Eight and a half and I have absolutely no interest in dating. I am perfectly happy with the way things are. And I can find my own dates."

How many times did he have to say this? "Sarah, I've loved two women in my life."

"Yeah, yeah. Sam's dead and Bippy was gone long before that. You're like a broken record."

"Her name was Buffy, and I say it so much because my friends can't seem to get it through their heads."

Too far. She could practically feel the chill coming over the phone line. "We just want you to be happy, Riley," she said softly.

Then don't keep trying to fix me up, he resisted saying. Instead he said, "I am happy. Really. You can feel free to worry about other things. Like how to get that husband of yours to actually be romantic for an entire day. See you at six on Tuesday."

"Because you live in Boston now, and this is something that Bostonians do," Dawn said.

"Then how come you haven't done it in the ten years you've lived here?" Eddie asked.

Dawn threw her napkin at him. "Hey - you're supposed to be on my side. Besides, I've never lived in Boston. I live in Cambridge."

Eddie rolled his eyes and smiled at Buffy. "If you don't want to, we won't force you."

"No, we totally will force you," Dawn said. "You've been here three weeks and you haven't left your house."

"For three weeks? You don't have that much stuff," Dawn said, looking around at the nearly barren living room in which only one box remained. "Come on. Grab a sweater - it can be cool on the river." She stood up and tapped her foot. "We'll wait."

"O.k., o.k. I'm coming. But this is only so that Eddie won't think that his sister-in-law-to-be is the immature one in this family," Buffy said as she ran up the stairs to her bedroom. She came back down a few minutes later with a sweatshirt tied around her waist.

"You're wearing that?" Dawn asked, looking at Buffy's faded t-shirt and denim shorts with a disdainful look on her face.

"Nothing. But you're not twenty-two anymore. At least put on some lipstick and make yourself presentable."

"Well, that's an incredibly superficial thing to be coming out of the mouth of a Harvard grad student," Buffy said, glaring at Dawn. "And who said I wanted to be presentable? Are we going or not?"

Eddie jumped up. He had only met Buffy twice in his life before she had moved in three weeks ago, but it hadn't taken long to figure out that once the two of them started fighting, things escalated quickly. "Yes. Going." He grabbed Dawn's hand and pulled her to the door.

Before the doorbell started ringing, Kate, Annie and Josh laid out the ground rules. At no time was Riley to acknowledge that he was with them unless it involved giving them money. If he and Ben's mom hit it off, there was to be absolutely no PDA - "public display of affection, Dad; geez." - *especially* not within sight of any one of their friends. And under no circumstances was he allowed to wear that sweatshirt that he had had since college.

"So that means I don't have to answer the door, right?" he asked as the doorbell rang. "Because then I would actually have to acknowledge that I'm your father."

"Dad - we're making sandwiches. You're the only one who could possibly answer it," Annie added.

Riley looked at Josh who just shrugged. Like father, like son, Riley thought as he went to get the door. Graham never actually spoke when a shrug would do.

"Who are you?" Riley asked the very tall, very old - like seventeen old - boy who was standing in the doorway with a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

Of course. Stupid question given that he already knew all the other kids who were coming. "How old are you?" Riley asked, fully recognizing that this was why he wasn't allowed to associate with his daughters in front of their friends.

Riley folded his arms. Clearly the kid had gotten the question before, poor guy. Too bad. "Who are the flowers for?"

"Oh," said Charlie. "Mrs. Finn. But my mom said I could give them to whoever answered the door."

Mrs. Finn. After all this time, that still knocked Riley cold. He didn't think he would ever get over that. That and red gloves - it had taken Riley six months to pack away the gloves that Sam had left on the kitchen counter the last time he saw her.

Riley mentally shook his head clear. A woman and another boy had appeared next to an uncomfortable looking Charlie.

"Sorry," Riley said to Charlie. "I can take those. Thank you." He took the flowers and stepped back so that they could all come in. "You must be Jean. Hi, Ben."

"Hey, Charlie," Ben said. "Come on. I know the way," he said, leading Charlie to the kitchen.

"More than Ben would like. I'm surprised we've never met, but you've probably seen my ex-husband around."

"I've seen him at some of the games. You're not a big fan of high school sports?"

Riley smiled. "Yeah, I guess that gets complicated." He led the way to the kitchen where the five kids were now raiding the cabinets for chips and cookies. "Hey - leave something for Jack."

Of Riley and Sam's four kids - the fourth being Liam, who was on a Florida fishing trip - Jack was the youngest, but also the most mature. Or maybe Riley was just feeling that way today because Jack had chosen to stay home with his grandmother and watch the fireworks from the roof deck rather than fighting the crowds. On the roof deck with the radio broadcast of the Pops as accompaniment - a much more civilized way to see the fireworks as far as Riley was concerned.

Twenty minutes later, they were joining the throngs of people walking toward the Esplanade, Riley and Jean trailing behind the group of kids. Riley readjusted the huge backpack that was loaded with sandwiches, chips, and more bottles of water and soda than he could count. Hiking through Europe had taken less packing.

Riley looked at her. He probably shouldn't be so forward but there were too many things he regretted not saying in his life and these days he didn't waste time worrying if what he was saying was appropriate or not. It drove his kids crazy, but if something was on his mind then it got said.

"Sarah thinks I need to start dating again. I don't. I wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea."

An amused - and slightly irritated - smile crossed Jean's face. "It's nice you think I'd be interested in dating you, but since you're not a woman, you really don't do it for me."

Riley stopped for a second, earning him a nasty remark from the person behind him. He barked out a laugh. "Didn't mention that to Sarah, did you?"

"No, and I can't believe that I just said that to you," Jean said, turning bright pink. "My ex-husband's the only person in the world who knows that. Except, I guess, you."

"Don't be. It just came out because you were so damn smug." She turned even brighter pink. "I'm sorry. I can't believe I just said that, either. I really usually don't talk much. Mostly because I tend to put my foot in my mouth, as you've just seen."

Riley laughed. "I think we should tell Sarah that we fell madly in love at first sight so that she'll never fix either one of us up again," he said, coming within sight of Graham and Sarah who looked like newlyweds as they made out under a tree by the river.

"Thirty-nine," Graham said. "Uncle Riley's forty." He pointed to a lime green blanket surrounded by plastic pink flamingos. "That's for the kids."

"You want embarrassing?" Graham said, giving Sarah a wicked look. "We can show you embarrassing." He leaned in for another kiss, sending the teenagers running the fifty feet to the other blanket.

Riley sat down and reached into a container filled with strawberries. "No way - I didn't know those things were portable," he said, seeing a fondue pot filled with melted chocolate. He dipped a strawberry in. "That is a damn good idea."

Sarah blew out the Sterno flame underneath the chocolate. "Turns out Graham remembers how to be romantic," Sarah said, smiling. "Champagne?" she asked, offering some to Riley and Jean.

Graham started closing containers and packing them away. "Hate to run, but we've got just enough time for a carriage ride before our dinner reservations." He stood up and held out his hand to Sarah, pulling her up. "So, Ri - you o.k. if Josh spends the night at your place?"

Sarah scraped the chocolate out of the fondue pot and poured it over the strawberries. "Less for you to carry home," she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "You're a wonderful man. May your evening be filled with beautiful fireworks," she said, glancing at Jean.

Riley pulled a pack of cards out of his pocket. "A deck of cards, chocolate covered strawberries, and a soft, summer breeze coming off the river - what could be better?"

Jean picked up the cards and started to shuffle. "Spending the evening with your soul-mate?"

"Blasphemy. We'll have none of that kind of talk. Deal the cards, woman. I'll play just about anything."

"Gin," Riley said, throwing down his cards. The sun was starting to go down, the strawberries were long since gone, and, according to the radio on the next blanket over, Bono still hadn't found what he was looking for, not even after all these years.

Riley followed her glance to see Annie coming towards him with a sweet smile on her face. They always sent Annie when they wanted something big.

"We brought the entire contents of our kitchen. What could you possibly want that would require money?"

She kneeled down behind him and put her arms around him. "Well, we were thinking."

"Don't you think that everything would be absolutely perfect if we all had slushies right now?"

"You've got to be kidding." Where his kids had developed their thing for slushies he had no idea.

"Charlie and I will help you get them," she said, her voice dripping with honey. "The store's right across Storrow Drive. We'll be back way before the fireworks start."

He looked over to the blanket where the rest of the kids were. As soon as they saw him look over, they all dropped to their knees, hands clasped together in front of them and eyes pleading.

Annie jumped up and clapped. The other kids cheered and collapsed into a pile on their blanket.

"So where did this Charlie person come from? And who said it was o.k. for you to have a boyfriend?" Riley asked as Charlie made his way across the patchwork of blankets on the green.

Annie hit him in the shoulder. "Shhhh, Daddy. He's on the boys' lacrosse team. He just moved here this spring. O.k.?"

"O.k., o.k.," he said. "Am I allowed to be related to you now? Considering I'm about to spend my hard earned money on all your friends."

God, he loved his kids. He had screwed up so many things in his life, but not his kids. Riley looked up at the sky. Thanks, Sam, wherever you are, for watching over us. You'd be so proud of what they've become.

"Oh my God," Buffy said as they came out of the Arlington Street station and crossed over to the Public Gardens. "There's like a million people. I didn't think this many people lived here."

Dawn didn't hear her. She was busy yelling at Eddie. "You said that we'd be here in plenty of time. Now we're not even going to get a spot."

"We did have plenty of time. But then you insisted on showing Buffy Fenway Park and getting a beer. Those things take time."

"-and I wanted her to see where we met," she continued as if he hadn't spoken. "Especially since it took us three weeks to get her to leave her house."

"Hello - still standing here," Buffy said. "I can hear everything you're saying."

"I'm settling in," Buffy responded weakly. She started to make her way through the crowd leaving Dawn and Eddie no choice but to follow her. "Is there a place we can get snacks? I bet the lines closer to the fireworks are out of control and I'm hungry."

"Yeah," Eddie said. "There's a drugstore on Charles Street right before the Esplanade. We can stock up there."

Buffy walked in silence. Everything about Boston seemed completely foreign to her. She had visited Dawn plenty of times at Tufts, and then Harvard, and she had fallen in love with the area several times over, but she couldn't imagine it ever feeling like home. Nothing had seemed like home since Dawn left for college. After years of fighting it, Buffy had finally decided to follow Dawn to the East Coast thinking that might ease the loneliness. It hadn't worked so far, but it hadn't even been a month yet.

"What are you thinking?" Dawn asked quietly as they walked down Charles Street toward the river.

Oh, just that this might have been the biggest mistake of my life, Buffy thought, moving across the country in hopes that it would somehow help her feel less lost and alone. But there was no way she was actually going to say that, not with that insecure, defensive look in Dawn's eyes, the look that Dawn had gotten so good at in high school. It had mostly disappeared but it still resurfaced every now and then.

Buffy smiled and linked arms with Dawn. "I was thinking what a beautiful city this is," she said as they walked down the street, passing the narrow, charming lanes of Beacon Hill. "You'll have to show me around when we have a little more time. I wouldn't mind coming back to some of these antiques stores."

"Well, that's not quite as pretty," Buffy said, as they came to the end of Charles into an intersection jammed with cars trying to navigate their way under the rusted elevated train tracks. "I guess that's called progress."

"This is usually even more crowded, but Storrow Drive is closed for the fireworks," Eddie said, opening the door of the drugstore and following Dawn and Buffy in.

Buffy made her way to the back of the store and grabbed a few bottles of water and some Cokes out of the cooler. Turning around, she saw a couple of teenagers filling up cups with ice and colored syrup. The girl was striking. Fourteen or fifteen with honey colored hair and gorgeous almond eyes. Almost as tall as the boy she was with, a good six inches taller than Buffy. I would kill for those cheekbones, Buffy thought as she turned away and started up the aisle she thought Dawn was in.

Dawn wasn't there, but an un-Godly number of candy bars were, and Buffy bent down for a package of bite-sized Snickers. She came up quickly, whirling around as she sensed someone behind her. Hot pink ice went flying everywhere, as did the water and Coke Buffy was carrying, which wouldn't have been too bad if one of the cans hadn't burst open sending soda flying everywhere.

"Pretty," Buffy muttered as the brown liquid started to mix with the ice on the floor. "And very sticky," she said, accepting the napkins being offered to her from the hand connected to the body she had knocked into, a body in such close proximity that a collision had been unavoidable.

She was trying very hard to control her irritation and she didn't look up right away, knowing that it was an accident and this person had no intention of spilling everything all over her and the floor. Therefore it would do absolutely no good to say something like, "Haven't you ever heard of personal space?" Not until she could say it with a smile at least.

"I'm so sorry," she heard the man say in a tone that seemed genuinely apologetic, as it should. It continued as she slowly straightened up, "You look like someone I."

This couldn't be real, she thought, backing away and looking into eyes that she hadn't seen in fifteen years. She stared at him, his face so familiar despite the lines around his eyes and mouth. His hair was beginning to gray in that distinguished way that men's hair did. Arms and chest and shoulders had lost none of their definition in the time that had passed, nor had they lost their ability to stir something deep within her. Something that hadn't been stirred in a very long time.

"That's. It's not." she stammered. Not possible, she meant. Beyond that, she was unable to form a coherent thought.

Right there with you, Riley thought. He couldn't say it because he was totally incapable of speech. She had barely changed at all. Her eyes still sparkled, and everything about her radiated energy, even though she was standing stock still. In fifteen years she had put on a few more pounds but they were solid muscle. Her face had become lined with laughter and life, but it only made her more beautiful than he remembered.

"Dad, please tell me you did not make this mess." Annie grabbed one of the bottles of water off the floor and opened it, pouring water onto a napkin that she used to dab at the slushie dripping down Riley's arm. She poured more water on another napkin and turned to Buffy. "I'm so sorry, ma'am. If you put water on it right away it won't be too sticky."

Buffy's eyes moved slowly to Annie. The girl called Riley 'Dad.' The girl was Riley's daughter. Buffy looked back at Riley.

Annie took a step closer to Riley. She didn't understand what was happening, but it made her very uncomfortable, and, being her father's daughter, whenever she was uncomfortable, she babbled. "My Dad can be a little klutzy. He goes all spacey on us. It started when my Mom died and doesn't happen as much lately, but he still does dumb things sometimes. He's really sorry and he'll pay for you to clean your shirt or get a new one or."

Riley put his hand on Annie's shoulder. "It's o.k., honey," he said, his eyes never leaving Buffy's, whose expression had softened when Annie mentioned Sam's death. She had taken a step closer, but stopped when Annie responded by moving protectively in front of Riley.

"What happened here?" Dawn asked walking towards Buffy, barely glancing at the man whose back was to her as she walked by. She stepped around the mess on the floor and reached her hand out to Buffy, not understanding the odd look on her face.

"I." Buffy looked at Dawn and then back at Riley, slowly coming out of her daze. "I'm so sorry," Buffy said to him as she found her voice. "About Sam. I." Her voice trailed off as it failed her again.

It occurred to Dawn that Buffy wasn't talking to some random stranger and she turned around, noticing the man and girl standing there watching them.

"Holy shit," Dawn said, a smile coming over her face. "Riley? Riley Finn?" She crossed to him, not bothering to avoid the mess this time, and gave him a huge hug.

Annie jabbed Riley in the side, startling him out of his stare. Clearly these women knew her Dad, although the blonde one was still staring at him strangely.

Riley looked away from Buffy and down at Dawn. "Dawn," he said, returning her hug. "God, Dawn." He pushed her away holding her at arms length. "Let me look at you. Last time I saw you, you were still a kid. Annie's almost as old as you were then."

"Dad?" Annie said tentatively. She had only seen Riley cry once since those awful years after her mom died - only the one time in the hospital when Aunt Sarah introduced him to their new baby, Sam. She had understood why that made him sad, but not why there were tears running down his face now.

Riley pulled Annie to him and kissed the top of her head, something she hated under ordinary circumstances but seemed to need right now. "Annie, this is Dawn. It's thanks to her that I have even a minimal understanding of what's going through your head these days."

Annie held her hand out to Dawn, thankful that Riley was sounding more like himself. She turned to the older woman, keeping her back to Riley, grateful for his hands on her shoulders. For the first time Annie noticed that the other woman was crying, too.

Buffy looked at Riley and then at his daughter standing in front of him. "This is." She stopped and wiped the tears away from her eyes. "Sorry," she said looking away. "This is so much harder than it seems it should be."

"Annie," Dawn said. "You'll have to excuse my sister. She just moved here and she still hasn't managed to get her shit together. Maybe we should go find a mop so we can clean this mess up." Dawn put her arm around the girl and led her towards the front of the store where Eddie was standing next to a teenage boy who seemed to be with Annie. Dawn glanced back at Buffy before leaving the aisle.

"Kids?" Riley asked. "Annie has a twin sister, Kate. Then there's Liam and Jack."

"Yep," he said, glancing away, but unable to keep his eyes away for long. "And you? Are you married? Any kids?"

"No and no," she replied, her eyes locked on his. She took a step toward him. "Do you think this would be less awkward if you hugged me right now?"

He closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms. Fifteen years since he had seen her. Nine years since he had written her off as most likely dead. Eight and a half years since he had touched a woman and felt anything close to what he was feeling right now.

"No," he said, letting go of her. "It appears that hugging you may, in fact, be more awkward."

She grabbed his hand as he pulled away. "Riley," she said, not wanting to let go.

He looked down at their hands, waiting for her to say whatever it was she was going to say. "Yeah?" he asked, when nothing came.

She smiled. "Nothing. I just like saying your name and having you be right here."

He couldn't resist it anymore. He reached his hand out to touch her hair. It was so soft, so angelic, a golden halo surrounding her in light. She pulled him closer, until their bodies were almost touching, and tilted her chin up, so close that he could almost taste her. Some force stronger than his will to resist was pulling him to her and he bent down, feeling her warm breath on his mouth, setting the nerve endings on fire. She closed her eyes and melted into him, anticipating his-

"Dad," a voice said, and Riley's body tensed. Buffy opened her eyes and straightened up. In a split second, Riley transformed from the man who had given her a look filled with heat and desire, to a father whose fourteen-year-old daughter was now standing a few feet away from them.

"Dad - we got the manager. He said he'd have someone clean everything up and we'd just have to pay for what spilled. Can we go now? Everything's starting to melt."

"Yeah," Riley said, clearing the huskiness out of his throat and starting over. "I just need to get a couple more for me and Ben's mom," whose name he could not remember if his life depended on it. He looked at Buffy. "Are you here with someone?"

"Dawn," she said giving him a look that conveyed what an utterly stupid question that was.

"I meant, are you and Dawn here with someone. If you don't have a place on the grass already, it can get a little hairy."

"Oh. No, I don't think so. Not unless Eddie's got us meeting someone," Buffy replied, following Riley to the counter where the slushies were made.

"Umm, no. Thanks." She held up the bottles of water that she had retrieved from the floor. "I take my water without the food coloring."

They walked to the counter where the rest of their respective groups were waiting. They paid for the various items, spilled and unspilled, and after coaxing the manager into giving them a box to carry everything, they left the store.

Riley was amazed at how natural it was to fall into step with Buffy, their arms almost touching, but not quite. "So as I was saying, we have some room on our blanket if you guys don't already have a place staked out."

"That sounds great," Buffy said, glancing at Dawn, who wasn't bothering to hide the huge smile on her face. Apparently it was fine with Dawn, too.

He was glad that negotiating the crowd with a box of slushies in danger of spilling over took a fair amount of concentration, because for the life of him, he couldn't think of anything to say that would sound even remotely intelligent.

Ten minutes later they saw the pink flamingos, which had been moved to the blanket Jean was sitting on with Josh and Beth.

"You'd be surprised," Riley said, returning her smile. He handed the box to Charlie. "Earn your keep, kid." This time Dawn rolled her eyes. "I saw that," Riley said. He pulled out two bright pink slushies and handed one to Jean as he made introductions.

"I think you'll be o.k., now, Ms. Goldsmith," Josh said as he and Beth got up and followed Annie and Charlie to the other blanket.

"Thanks, Josh," Jean replied. To Riley she said, "There was encroachment." She nodded at the two couples on the next blanket. "Josh and Beth took pity and set up my flamingo force-field. You'd think my own son would have come to the rescue, but Ben's still trying to pretend I'm not here," she said, smiling.

Buffy nodded. She inched a bit closer to Dawn. It seemed very important not to touch Riley because every time her arm brushed his, she found herself thinking incredibly inappropriate things about a man with four children. Not to mention that his date was sitting on the other side of him. Oh, right, and that it had been nearly two decades since she had given up any claim to him.

"If they're the youngest, they're still babies at fifteen," Jean said, standing up. "I'm going to take a walk before the fireworks start."

"No," Jean said, holding her hand out. "Stay. Really." She smiled. "I can manage on my own."

Jean was already walking away. "I'm sure. Besides, the kids would be mortified if we actually walked anywhere together," she said over her shoulder.

"Sorry," Buffy said as Riley settled back down on the blanket. "We've ruined your date."

"Not really a date. A total set up by Graham's wife. Sarah's been trying to marry me off for the last five years."

"I think it's o.k. We've already figured out we're not meant to be. Just don't tell Sarah."

They stopped talking as the orchestra began to play and the fireworks started to go off above them. Twenty minutes later Jean came back with a bunch of hot dogs. "My daughter's boyfriend was running the stand," she told Riley as she sat down and he passed some to Buffy, Dawn and Eddie. "I got to cut the whole line."

Riley moved back a little to give Jean room. He ate his hot dog and watched the fireworks, fighting the urge to watch Buffy instead. This was all completely surreal. Nine years ago he had been in L.A. and had made a side trip to Sunnydale on a whim. He had stopped by her house, hoping to find her home, instead finding the house empty and a for sale sign on the front lawn. Riley had tried to find out what happened - he had spent an hour on campus trying to track down Willow to no avail, then ran into more dead ends at Xander's apartment and Xander's parents' house - no one home. Even the magic shop held no answers; the woman working at the counter said Anya wasn't there and refused to tell him anything else. Couldn't really blame her - they probably got some weird people coming in. Riley finally went to Willy's, but all Willy had been able to tell him was that the Slayer had left town.

A few years later Riley had made a half-hearted attempt to track her down again, but a search on her name hadn't turned up anything and he assumed the job had finally gotten to her. He had thought about finding Willow or Xander or Giles, but after Sam's death he just couldn't bear hearing that Buffy was dead, too. Better to imagine her somehow escaping her fate and living happily ever after with Angel. He hoped that she had been able to have what he had found with Sam, even if only for a little while.

But she wasn't dead and she wasn't with Angel. She was here. Living in Boston. He stole a glance at her, feeling a shock as their eyes connected. She gave him a quick smile and turned away. Unreal.

An hour later, Riley was lying on his back, watching the show above him when the body of a fourteen-year-old girl landed on top of him.

"Dad!" Kate shouted above the noise of the fireworks. "It's about to start pouring." She pulled him up into sitting position.

Riley saw that the wind had picked up a bit and he could feel that the air had changed. After spending half his life in Iowa's farm country he had finally learned to figure out when the rain was coming; it had only taken his daughters two summers.

Buffy and Dawn sat up, too. "Where are you going?" Buffy asked, leaning closer to Riley.

"The kids want to go home. It's going to rain. You're welcome to come. Or you can stay here and keep the blanket. The flamingos have to come with me, though. Graham's going to want them back."

Buffy laughed. She tugged at Dawn's hand and shook Eddie's shoulder to wake him up. "Come on. We're leaving." There was no way she was letting Riley disappear into the night. Not again.

By the time Eddie was fully awake, everything was cleaned up and stowed away in the backpack. Since he hadn't helped, Dawn made him carry the flamingos.

Blanket folded up, they joined the group of kids and made their way to the footbridge. The wind hadn't picked up quite so much as to tip off the whole crowd, but enough people had noticed that it still took twenty minutes to get off the Esplanade. The rain started as soon as they got to Charles Street, a sudden downpour that sent them running up the narrow streets.

"Please tell me we're close," Buffy said, pulling the hood of her sweatshirt up as she ran.

"Dad - Beth can't keep up. Will you help her?" Annie asked, pointing to the cast on her friend's ankle.

"This is bigger than I am," she said, fastening the strap around her waist. She hated the big hiking ones, especially when they were adjusted for a man at least a foot taller than her. At least it was mostly empty.

Riley bent down to let Beth climb on his back. As soon as she was on, he took off running, yelling back at Buffy and the kids, "Race you!" To Dawn and Eddie, he shouted, "Stick with Jean - she knows the way!"

He put on a burst of speed as Annie and Charlie caught up to him, Buffy only a few steps behind. Beth was holding on for dear life, laughing as she cheered him on. At the very last minute, Charlie broke free and reached the door seconds before Riley. Annie and Buffy tied for third. Riley let Beth down but the door opened before he could reach for his keys.

"We could hear you from down the street, Dad. You shouldn't laugh and yell so much at this time of night. It will wake up the neighbors." Jack said as he stepped back to let the bigger kids in.

"Bet your grandmother told you to say that," Riley said as he picked his son up and gave him a hug and kiss, ignoring Jack's protests that he was *nine* and too old to be picked up. Putting Jack down, Riley stooped to kiss the older woman who was standing further down the hallway, shouting directions as wet children ran past her.

"Hi, honey," she replied sweetly before yelling down the hall. "Boys in Kate's room, girls in Annie's! And leave your shoes down here. Jack - get baskets from the laundry room. Wet clothes in baskets - *not* on the floor! Riley - get these children some warm, dry clothing. You," she said to Buffy, "there are towels in the bathroom - top of the stairs, first door on the right. Empty the closet and stack the towels next to the laundry baskets in the hall."

"Yes, ma'am," Buffy said, her eyebrows raised at Riley. "I see where you got that whole drill sergeant thing from," she muttered.

Riley put his hand on her shoulder and steered her to the stairway. "Mom - there are three more coming."

His mom nodded and shooed them up the stairs. "Get moving. I will not have naked children running around under my roof."

"My roof, Mom." Kind of. Riley pointed to the bathroom once he and Buffy were upstairs. "I have more towels in my room. Come find me if you need them," he said, disappearing through another door.

Riley went into his closet and started pulling out t-shirts and shorts for the boys; Annie had enough stuff in her room for the girls. He came out into the hallway as Buffy came out with a stack of towels.

They went up another set of stairs into a narrow hallway. Empty laundry baskets stood in front of two of the doors. Riley banged on a door and opened it. He threw the shorts and t-shirts on Kate's bed and handed out towels to all the boys. "Living room, five minutes."

"Absolutely nothing, but there's no way six teenagers are spending the next few hours up here, two floors away from where I can hear them. They're good kids, but temptation is." His voice trailed off as - for about the tenth time that night - it suddenly hit him that he was standing here next to Buffy. Her wet hair pushed back off her face, clear skin glowing from the rain and the race, soaking sweatshirt still dripping on the floor. Thank God for shapeless, heavy sweatshirts. Temptation wasn't just a problem for fourteen- and fifteen-year-olds.

One by one, kids started to come out of the rooms, dropping their wet clothes into the baskets and heading towards the stairs.

"Hey, Dad," Annie said, punching him on the shoulder as she walked past, "Not bad for an old man, but I probably should have told you that Charlie was on the track team at his old school."

"I had an actual person on my back," Riley called after her as he bent down to pick up the laundry basket.

"Sore loser," Buffy said, bending down for the other one. "But she's right - not too bad for an old man." She headed down the stairs. "Do we get dry clothes, too?"

"Yeah," Riley said as he rooted around through a drawer. "I've been here so long that I forget what it looks like the first time."

She sat down on a bench that was built in to the wall. "You still work for the government? They must pay pretty well."

Riley pulled out a t-shirt and threw it to her. "Not quite this well. The house has been in Sam's family since the day it was built. She was an only child. When she died, it went into a trust for the kids."

"It might be if they had a clue. So far they don't." He found a pair of shorts and gave those to her, too. "Sorry - they're probably too big. I'm sure one of the girls could give you something that would be a little more comfortable."

He opened a door opposite the one they had come in. "Towels are in the closet. Sorry about the mess. I've gotten pretty spoiled."

She walked into one of the biggest bathrooms she had ever been in. The "mess" was a couple towels on the floor, a shaving kit on the counter, and three baseball bats behind the door. "Riley - why do you have baseball bats in your bathroom?" she called out.

"So my kids don't steal them and leave them on a field somewhere. Don't tell them they're in there," came the muffled reply.

The tub was enormous. Clearly built for two. The shower had no door or curtain, but was almost a room in itself, the floor gently sloping downward towards the drain. Faucets, showerheads, and oddly placed towel bars were on the walls. Across from the shower, there was a dressing table with a chair pushed in - not something she imagined Riley using. She opened the medicine cabinet and glanced at its contents - she had practically lived with him for a year, she told herself, so it wasn't too much of an invasion of privacy.

The closet was to the left of the sink. She pulled out a towel and dried her hair, pulling a comb through it when she was done. Soaking sweatshirt and t-shirt off, dry shirt on. As she pulled it over her head, the clean, fresh, familiar smell brought her back fifteen - no, sixteen years. Sixteen years since she had worn Riley's shirts like her own, throwing one on in the morning as she left his place, her clothes from the night before in her tote bag. For a while after he left, she slept with his sweater under her pillow, pulling it out in the middle of the night when his absence hurt the most. Finally packing it away in the depths of her closet, only to take it out again when her mother died and she needed something to help get through the night.

How was this possible? That Riley was alive and well and living in Boston. The last she had heard of him was a terse letter from some government official whose name she had long since forgotten. The words were etched on her brain, though: missing in action and presumed dead. Cold, hard words that were almost impossible to get around. Angel and Willow had tried to comfort her by stressing "presumed" instead of "dead," and after a time Buffy had even let herself believe it. That he was still in Black Ops, off in some jungle somewhere. Doing what he loved to do. With the woman he loved. But she had never expected to see him again.

And yet here he was. In Boston this whole time. Almost as long as Dawn had been here and they had never known they were in the same place. Only a few miles from where Buffy had been on countless visits. This whole time.

"You almost finished in there?" Riley's voice came from the other side of the door - a different door than the one she had come into the bathroom from.

"Almost." She quickly pulled off her wet shorts and put on the ones that he had given her. She opened the door, finding herself back in his bedroom. "Wait - how did that work?"

"One big square," he said, pointing to the door of the closet. He walked into the bathroom and grabbed the towel from the counter next to the sink, toweling dry his hair.

He looked down. It was a navy blue t-shirt from a vendor on the Santa Monica pier. The faded lettering said something about Greenpeace. He had forgotten she bought it for him as a joke, daring him to wear it around all his Initiative friends. Not that there were many left in Sunnydale at that point.

His mother's voice came booming up the stairs. "Apparently teenagers aren't the only ones not to be trusted," he said, shutting off the light and heading out the door.

They added their clothes to the laundry baskets and went downstairs. His mom was waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

"The movie's started. Everyone has hot chocolate and popcorn, Jack wants you to read him a story, and I'm going to bed."

"Oh, heavens. Where are my manners?" She smiled at Buffy. "You must be Dawn's sister - I'm sorry, I wasn't able to catch the name. Dawn started to say but then the kids started fighting over the movie and I decided it was time to make hot chocolate."

"It's so nice to meet." She took a step back and looked from Riley to Buffy and back to Riley again. "Buffy? Did you just say Buffy?"

Buffy stepped forward and held out her hand. "Mrs. Finn. It's so nice to finally meet you."

Mary Finn didn't bother with handshakes. She pulled Buffy into her arms. "You dear, dear child. I was so sorry to hear about your mother. Riley told me what a wonderful woman she was." She released Buffy from her embrace. "Buffy Summers. What a pleasure this is."

Buffy followed him out. The rain had stopped and it was possible to see down the hill towards the Charles. A sea of headlights wound their way up Memorial Drive on the other side of the river. Turning to her left, she saw down past the Public Gardens to Newbury Street and Commonwealth Ave. Another left and she could see the Boston skyline beyond the golden dome of the State House.

"Riley - it's beautiful. I think I would spend every minute of every day up here."

"Yeah. I come up here when everything downstairs is too much." He leaned against one of the railings. "Brighton's that way," he said pointing. "Five, maybe six miles."

"No. Not far at all," he said, looking down at her and trying very hard to keep from touching her. The pull was incredible and he was afraid that once he started, there'd be no turning back. "You want something to drink?" He went over to a bank of cabinets. Opening a small refrigerator, he pulled out a couple of beers.

"Thanks," she said, taking one as she joined him underneath the awning. She sat on a wooden chair, stretching her feet out in front of her.

"Not as much as I'd like. Willow lives in Chicago. She's a professor at one of the universities there. And Xander's still in Sunnydale."

"The wedding actually never happened. It was rough going for a while, but they worked things out and they've got two adorable kids. It turns out that Xander's whole hang-up was the actual being married thing. Once they got past that, things got good again."

"You can tell him yourself. They're coming out in a few weeks - bringing some stuff I had in storage. I'm sure he'd love to see you. He never liked any of my other boyfriends."

"They have a six-year-old daughter and Giles is in absolute heaven - except when he's complaining about being old enough to be her grandfather."

They sat there in silence for a few minutes, letting the sounds of the city below rise up to meet them.

She shrugged. "Spike and I were together for a while. We had some really good years together and a couple of really bad ones. He and Dawn are still in touch, but I haven't spoken to him in a while. There've been a few guys since then, but nothing serious. You?"

"No one since Sam." He stood up and went over to the railing, his back to her. "After you and her, no one ever really seemed that interesting."

"Tell me about it. Most guys just don't understand me. I got tired of trying to explain it to them."

"Very funny," she said, standing up and coming over to him. She hiked herself on the railing. "How long has it been? Since Sam..."

"Eight and a half years." He drank some more beer. "So, are you still slaying? I didn't think you'd ever leave Sunnydale. And please don't tell me there's a Hellmouth in Boston."

She laughed. "No, at least not as far as I know. And I work for Angel now. I'm his East Coast representative, in case you know anyone who needs an investigator with extra special skills."

"I didn't either. But Faith got out of jail and came back into the fold. There was this whole trial thing in London and Giles made a case for me to get some special dispensation, now that there were two active slayers. The Council actually agreed. I still don't know how Giles did it, but I will be forever grateful."

"Nightly patrols? Regular apocalypses? No. I get enough action to keep me happy. And every once in a while they send me out to do some training or back-up when a new Slayer is called. The Council is much easier to deal with now that they pay me."

"Seven years ago. About a year after she got out. There have been three since then. The current one is pretty good. Two and a half years."

"God, and these kids are fifteen." A year older than the twins. He couldn't imagine what Buffy's mom had gone through.

She smiled, but didn't answer. "Why do you change the subject whenever I ask about Sam?"

He finished off his beer and put the bottle on the ground. "Helicopter crash. Killed three straight out; one guy was touch and go for a while but he died two weeks later. Graham was there. Took him a year to learn how to walk again."

Buffy smiled. "Not so self involved any more. Angel actually trained me pretty well - I'm much better at listening these days."

Yep. Riley looked away. "Stupid fight before she left. Can't figure out why I was so angry now. I understand why she was, though."

Buffy grabbed his hand, holding it tightly. It wasn't too hard to guess what the fight was about. "You wanted her to take the desk job. Come home and take care of the kids every day. But she didn't want to."

"The worst part wasn't even the fight. The worst part was that I knew she was right. I had no right to ask. But I was too damn proud to give in. Biggest mistake I ever made in my life." When he looked up there were tears in his eyes. "Thought I couldn't top the one I made with you. Turns out I was wrong."

"Oh, Riley," she said, wanting to reach out and hug him, but letting go of his hand as he pulled away.

"It took a few months for it to fully hit. I totally lost it at Jack's first birthday party. It was the first time they let Graham leave the hospital. Saw him in that wheelchair and whammo. Handed Jack over to my mom and barely made it upstairs. It wasn't pretty. Mom's been here ever since. My dad retired two years later and came east. There you have it." He spread his hands open wide. "No more secrets."

"Yeah. So. Eight and a half years. The first three were hell. It's gotten better."

She smiled and shrugged. "I've been in love three times. I know what it feels like. I don't want to settle."

"I should probably say I'm sorry that I made you tell me all that, but I'm not."

"Thanks for being honest, I guess. But it actually feels good to talk about her. I don't much, not to an adult at least."

He shook his head. "I swore to myself the night Sam died - or, I guess, the night she didn't come back - that I'd never hold anything back from my kids. And these days I pretty much say what's on my mind no matter how dumb it makes me feel. Learned that lesson the hard way."

"Set myself up for that one, didn't I?" Riley placed his hands on the wide railing and looked past the buildings to the river. "I'm thinking that it was really nice to talk to you about Sam. And that it seems like a total betrayal of her memory, but all I want to do right now is kiss you." He turned to Buffy. "It's all I've wanted to do since the moment I saw you in that store."

Her eyes locked on to his, and she reached out blindly for his hand, bringing it to her lips and pulling him closer. Turning her head to follow his hand as he threaded his fingers through her hair.

"Shhh," she replied, pulling him by his shirt until he was standing in front of her, between her legs. "I'm fine. More than fine. Really good right now." She smiled as his hand found its way to the back of her neck, sending shivers down her spine. Her eyes closed as he leaned in, his lips brushing hers so lightly that she wasn't sure if he had actually kissed her before he pulled away. She opened her eyes to find him staring at her.

"Buffy," he said, looking away. "It's been so long. I'm not sure if I remember how to do-"

Buffy put her hands on his face and drew him to her, her hands moving to his hair as their lips connected. After a moment's hesitation, his hands were on her waist, on her hips, as his mouth opened to let her in. It didn't take long for his tongue to find all the old, familiar places, making her remember just what it was she had been missing for so long.

She clung to him, her knees grasping his waist and pulling him close. She moaned as he pushed against her, one hand around her waist, holding her tightly, the other cupping her breast. His mouth hadn't left hers and the hunger in his kiss sent shocks through her from head to toe.

She reached up under his shirt and ran her hands up and down his chest, trailing her fingers from collarbone to breastbone down past his stomach to right above the button of his shorts. He stopped kissing her abruptly, and leaned his forehead against hers, gasping as her hands found the zipper and pulled it down, reaching inside to touch him.

"Wait," he said, grabbing her hand. "We can't do this here." He was breathing heavily and finding it very hard to talk. "The kids. They could." He gestured toward the stairs. "Any minute."

"O.k.," she breathed, bringing her hands back up to his chest, but at the same time thrusting her hips forward and not letting up the pressure. Her lips brushed his neck and she pushed against him, making him groan.

He pushed away from her, and fumbled with his zipper, pulling it back up. "Shit. Buffy," he said, trying to catch his breath. "Eight fucking years. Touch me again and, well."

She eased off the railing and walked past him, grabbing his hand and pulling him after her.

Buffy gave him a wicked smile and led him to the stairs, going down one flight, then two. She opened the door to his bedroom and walked in, past the bed, into the bathroom. He locked the bedroom door behind him and followed her in, locking that door as well. She had already locked the door leading to the walk-in closet.

"No condoms, huh?" she asked. She was an investigator after all; it was one of the things she had noticed when she had been in here earlier.

"Not unless you count the one that Liam brought home from the Y's health fair a few days ago."

Buffy shook her head. "Guess we'll have to figure out something else to do." She dimmed the lights - another thing she had noticed earlier. "Shower on or off?"

"Ummm, on, I guess," he said. He flipped a switch and a fan started. Anything to muffle sound. He could not believe he was about to do this.

She walked in to the shower stall. "How does this work?" she asked, fiddling with the knobs. Jumping back as the spray hit her.

"Like that," Riley said, the laugh dying in his throat as she turned around, shirt soaking wet and clinging to her in a most indecent way.

He crossed to her and lifted her up, pushing her against the shower wall as her legs went around him. She pulled his shirt over his head, leaning back as he did the same to hers. Reaching behind her, he unclasped her bra and pulled it off, dropping it to the floor. His lips went down to her breast and she cried out.

"Sorry." She slid down his body until her feet touched the floor. Standing up, she pushed her shorts and panties down past her hips and kicked them off.

This time he didn't stop her as she unbuttoned and unzipped his shorts. She pulled them off, taking his boxers down, too. She pushed him back against the wall and reached up to kiss him. Mouth following hands down his slick, wet skin, she stopped right above his waist, deliberately not letting any part of her touch the one part of him that had a mind all of its own. "You ready for this?" she asked.

He leaned his head back against the wall. "*This* is going to take all of five seconds."

Not if I can help it, she thought. Grasping him and squeezing tightly as her mouth worked its way up and down his length, the fingers of her free hand wandering aimlessly from hip to thigh to balls to stomach.

Eyes closed, Riley reached for the bars he knew so well, after three years of doing this very thing in this very place. Sam had had this shower put in and had designed it with a great deal of forethought.

Buffy's mouth and hands were working magic, and Riley was amazed he had lasted this long. He could barely stand, and the muscles in his arms hurt from being clenched so tightly. Reaching down, he tried to push Buffy's head away, but she only went down further, freeing him from her hands, but not from her teeth or tongue.

He had no control as he thrust into her, exploding into her mouth, the spasms coming in waves in a way they had never come before. She drank him in, her tongue never stopping until his knees gave way and he pulled out of her mouth, sliding down the wall until he was sitting on the tile floor with her standing above him.

"God. Buffy. That was." He shook his head and reached up for her. Words couldn't possibly describe what she had just done. "Hey," he said as she started to step back. "You're not going anywhere."