"Celestial Light "

Author: Alexandra Huxley
Email: alexandrahuxley@yahoo.com
Notes: Thanks to Cynthia and Moe for beta-ing, everyone who asked for a sequel to Fireworks, and Stacy, for that little extra boost...This story started out under a different title, "Fireworks," which won the 2002 Starcrossed Summer of Love June Challenge and Grand Prize. If you read that story, you've already read sections 1-4 (with a few slight changes), but stay tuned - there's more on the way.

1

2

3

4

"You're early," Pete grumbled when he came in from lunch and found Graham and Riley already at the bag.

"Excellent. So everyone's in a good mood today," Riley said as he leaned into the bag, holding it steady while Graham pummeled it.

"Don't want to be in a good mood," Pete replied. He threw his bag on the floor and sat down on a bench a few feet away from the punching bag. "You're too damn happy all the time. What've you got to be happy about? Four kids who'll keep you in debt 'til you're so old you can't even see 'em well enough to figure out which one's which."

"What'd she do this time?" Riley asked. The only things that got Pete this riled up were drunk kids who thought they could fight and his twenty-six year old daughter who lived in New York City.

"Got herself another acting job. Which of course doesn't pay. I swear I'm gonna cut that girl off. Needs to learn how to earn a living."

Riley and Graham tried to hide their smiles. Pete, of course, would never cut her off, even though he said it at least once every few weeks.

Graham stopped to catch his breath, gesturing at the punching bag. "Want a shot, Pete? Sounds like you need it as much as I do."

"Nah, let Finn at it. The kid's the one who needs it. He's slowing down in his old age."

Riley laughed. Pete was the only person who could get away with calling someone a kid, and then give them shit about their age without missing a beat. "That's all right. I'm actually o.k. right now." He sat down on the bench next to Pete, grabbing a bottle of water off the floor and taking a swig of it.

"Yeah - what's up with that?" Graham asked Riley, resuming punching.

"What do you mean?"

"I've been pissed off all day, which usually gets your back up. And Jessica gets on your nerves as much as mine." He punched harder. "And I'm the one that got lucky last night; I should be the one with that stupid grin on my face."

Riley sat back against the wall, trying to wipe said grin off his face. But Graham was right, it had been there pretty much all morning. The timing sucked, given the fact that Graham was already breathing fire, but he was the one who brought it up.

Riley replied, "Didn't say I didn't get lucky last night."

Graham stopped punching again and wiped the sweat off his face. "Huh?" He grabbed the towel Riley threw at him. "You said."

"I know what I said. It wasn't Jean," Riley replied. "You might want to sit down for this one. Or better yet, start punching the bag again."

"Why - is this going to piss me off more?"

Pete sat there looking back and forth between the two. "Better tell him, kid. Else he's gonna take your head off."

"Probably unavoidable at this point," Riley said, half to Pete, half to himself. "All I've ever loved, Graham. Sam and Buffy."

"You have got to be shittin' me," Graham said, slowly sinking down to a bench as he realized what Riley meant. "Buffy? She's alive?"

"The one and only."

"Buffy's alive and you saw her last night."

Riley nodded. "She was at the fireworks. Just moved to Boston."

"Holy fucking shit."

"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up."

Graham didn't say anything for a few minutes. "Well, that explains the grin," he finally muttered, standing up. He headed to the ring, not looking at Riley as he called over his shoulder, "Pete - any of these guys ready for a few rounds?" He nodded towards a group of men that had been warming up in the corner. The punching bag wasn't cutting it any more; he wanted someone that could fight back.

"Sheehan!" Pete yelled at one of the younger ones. "You're up."

"Hope he's good," Riley said.

"He's good, but he needs to be put in his place. Learn some respect. I was gonna put him up against that cocky son-of-a-bitch you guys always bring, but Graham seems in the right frame of mind just about now." He winced as Sheehan went flying within minutes of climbing into the ring. "What'd that girl do to him?" Pete asked.

Riley looked down at the floor. "He was just a bystander."

Pete didn't respond. He didn't know much about Riley's life before that first day in the ring, but he knew that Riley had run wild before he met Sam, and he knew that there had been a woman involved. He stood up and walked over to the ropes, leaving Riley alone with his thoughts.

"Get the hell out of there!" Pete finally said to Graham after an hour. "You're killing my best guys! Shit - give someone else a chance."

Graham grabbed a bottle of water, drinking the whole thing down before coming back to sit on the bench next to Riley. "She still as cute as she used to be?"

"Cute doesn't even begin to describe her."

Graham shook his head. "You always steal my thunder, you know that? I take Sarah to Hawaii for our honeymoon; you jump out of a fucking helicopter. We get pregnant with Josh; you and Sam have twins. I give Sarah the most romantic night of her life and you meet up with your college sweetheart, with fireworks going off above you. I don't even want to know how many times you and Buffy did it."

Riley had been looking down at the ground while Graham was talking, trying not to smile.

"Yes," Graham said. "Yes I do. I actually want to know how many times. Because at least then I'll know there were greater forces at work here and it will make me feel better." He looked at Riley, who was back to grinning again. "Well?"

"Four."

"Four. Four times. Fucking inhuman. You're forty-friggin'-years-old. Guys our age don't do that."

Riley shrugged. "Had a lot to make up for."

"Greater forces at work. You do realize that, don't you?"

"Yeah," Riley said, suddenly very serious. "I do."

Graham sat back against the wall. "I'm reserving the right to hate her, o.k.? But I won't give you any shit. I'll even act my age and be nice to her." He bent down and pulled his bag out from underneath the bench. "She's coming to dinner tonight, isn't she?"

"Might be," Riley answered. "Annie wants me to ask her to their game."

"And Kate?"

"Kate's not exactly on board with this."

Graham nodded. "I'm taking a shower." He stood and looked down at Riley. "Be careful, Ri. You've got too much to lose this time around." He walked away muttering, "Four fucking times."


"It's about time!" Dawn said when Buffy finally called. "You realize how hard it was for me not to call, don't you? I get points for that."

"Definite points," Buffy replied. "Major, big-time points."

"So? I wasn't imagining things, right? I mean, there was definite chemistry going on."

"Um, yeah. There was chemistry."

"Details, Buffy. I want details."

"I don't kiss and tell," Buffy said, glad Dawn couldn't see her blushing.

"That is so untrue. You always tell me."

"Do not."

"I am so much better at this game than you. So spill now, or else I'll make you remember how annoying I can be."

"O.k., o.k.," Buffy said, giving in. "It hurts to walk. That's all you're getting out of me." Especially since she had already said more than enough to Angel.

Dawn let out a yell. "I totally knew it! Riley is such a bad liar."

"Yeah, sometimes." Buffy smiled as an ancient memory appeared and the words 'paint ball' came to mind.

"What was it like?" Dawn asked, more serious now. "To be with him again? Was it nice? Or did you just boink so you wouldn't have to talk about all the bad stuff?"

"No, definitely nice. Wonderful. And just so." She stopped as her eyes teared up, thinking she couldn't even have dreamed something like this, much less expected it to come true. "Do you think it's possible to start all over again? To make things happen the way they should have in the first place? What if we're seeing what we want to see, and not what's actually there?"

"Oh, Buffy. You're thinking too much. Just go with it. Besides, none of that ever went away. You've always loved him, I mean, please - you know how much it pissed Spike off. And I can't imagine Riley ever stopped loving you. You weren't even old enough to drink when he left. Of course you guys made mistakes. It doesn't mean it's going to happen again. Well, not those mistakes, at least. I'm sure you'll manage some doozies."

"Gee, thanks. Great pep talk."

"I'm just saying, don't think of this as reliving the past. Think of it as the way things were meant to be. Just go from there," Dawn said. "So when are you seeing him again?"

"I don't know. I was asleep when he left; we didn't get a chance to talk about it."

"Well, why don't you call him?"

"I can't."

"Please - we're not in the dark ages. Women can call men, you know. They've been doing it for years now."

"No, I mean I really can't. I don't know his phone number and it doesn't seem to be listed."

"Oh. Does he have yours?"

"No."

"Hmm. Well, the girls have my number. He can get it from them."

"Yeah, right. 'Sweetie, can I have Dawn's phone number? I need to call her sister, the woman who might become your stepmother. Who I'm sure you'll love.' Sure, that's gonna happen."

"You're going to be their stepmother?" Dawn asked excitedly. "You've already talked marriage?"

"No," Buffy said. "Well, sort of. In a very abstract kind of way. Of course, if I can't figure out how to call him, that'll put a damper on future plans."

"Well you know where he lives. If we get desperate, we can stage an invasion."

"I guess," Buffy replied, not too enthusiastically. She looked up when she heard something clink against the window. "Hold on," she said, a smile coming over her face when she realized what it was. "I think it might not be a problem."

She opened one of the French doors leading out to her deck and leaned over the railing. Riley was standing in the street, bending down as he examined the rocks on the pavement.

"You could break a window that way," she said.

"Hell no," he said, straightening up. "I spent years perfecting this technique."

"You could have just rung the doorbell."

Riley glanced at the front door with all of its roses. "You know how many bees there are there? I don't think so."

"What? I'm not worth a bee sting? I'll be down in a second." She put the phone to her ear as she went back inside. Dawn was making gagging sounds on the other end. "Cut it out. I'm back."

"You know, I'm all for you and Riley getting back together again, but that doesn't mean I want to hear you flirting."

"Going now."

"Remember. Phone numbers," Dawn said before she hung up.

Buffy ran down the stairs to the basement, slightly out of breath as she pushed open the door.

"Hi," she said, smiling.

"Hi."

She leaned back against the door, waiting for him to say something. "You planning on just staring at me? 'Cause if you are then there are much more comfortable places we can go."

He grinned and looked away. "Sorry. Still having a hard time believing this."

"Does this help?" She stepped closer to him and pulled his head down to hers, her kiss showing him exactly how real she was.

"Um, no," he said when she pulled away. "You'll have to try again."

She smiled and put her whole body into it this time, feeling his spring to life as she leaned against him. His hands went to her waist, lifting her and easing her legs around him, his mouth never leaving hers. She melted into him, thinking she could easily stay this way forever, and might have if not for the car full of guys in baseball caps driving by, one of them yelling, "Get a room!"

"The down side to living near all the college kids," she said, reluctantly breaking away. "I'm assuming your kids aren't with you." She couldn't imagine him kissing her like that with them in close proximity. "And that you probably didn't come here for, um, you know."

"Yeah, although that is definitely tempting," he said, arms still around her. "But, well, how do you feel about high school soccer?"

"That's an easy one. I can honestly say I have no feelings about it one way or another. Why?"

He put her down. "Kate and Annie play in their school's summer league. Their game starts in fifteen minutes. Want to go?"

"They're o.k. with that?"

"Annie's the one who brought it up. She thought it would be a good chance to get to know you better."

"And Kate?"

"The jury's still out. But your presence was approved."

Buffy laughed. "It's a start." She grabbed his hand and pulled him inside. "Come up while I change?"

She didn't have to ask that twice. He followed her up the stairs. "Sorry for just barging in like this. I would have called first, but, well."

"Yeah, me too." She smiled. "Do you realize that there's only one other Riley Finn in the whole country? Well, that's listed at least. He lives out west." They reached her room and she gestured at the desk as she opened her closet door. "There should be a pad and pen under all those papers. Write this down." She rattled off her number. "Don't forget it. I'll be expecting phone calls."

He wrote it down and put the piece of paper in his pocket. Not that he'd need to refer to it again - the numbers were already seared into his brain. After writing his own number down, he shuffled the papers back into place, glancing down as he did so, trying not to watch as Buffy took off her top. He was *not* going to miss his daughters' game because he couldn't keep his hands to himself.

"Why do you have a map of Quetico Park?" he asked, his mind suddenly a million miles away from Buffy as he sat down in the chair.

She didn't look up as she stripped off her shorts and pulled on a pair of khaki capris. "You know it? It's for a new client. Apparently there's some weird stuff going on and she said she doesn't trust the guys they're sending in to clean it up. I have to go up there next week."

"Really," Riley said. Graham was going to love that one. "Monday? Two o'clock?"

"Yeah," she said, coming over to the desk. "How did you-?" She noticed the look on Riley's face. "Oh. You're the guys."

He leaned back in the chair. "You just get this map?"

"She emailed it to me this morning."

"I'll bet." He stood up. "Sorry. Angel probably wouldn't be too happy if he knew you were talking to me about a client. We should go."

"What do you know about what's going on?" Angel would deal.

Riley hesitated for a minute. Considering Graham was the lead on this one, Riley would have preferred to talk to him about this first, but Graham wasn't here and Buffy was, and despite Graham's personal feelings for Buffy, he respected her Slayer status.

"Ten hikers' bodies have been found with strange markings and no identifiable cause of death. Four more have been reported missing. The native guides refuse to go past a certain point but won't say why, so now the Rangers are getting spooked. The provincial government's trying to keep it quiet because the park is a big tourist draw, but the federal government wants something done."

They had reached the basement and Riley waited for Buffy to lock the door behind her.

"Is that all classified?" Buffy asked.

"Highly," Riley replied.

"Then why did you just tell me?"

"Because Jessica Cain is a nasty piece of work and I don't trust the ground she walks on. I'm not entirely sure why she hired you, but I'm guessing her intentions weren't good. And she couldn't care less if you get hurt in the process."

"What does she care about?"

"Right now? Screwing Graham. Literally and figuratively."

They crossed the street to Riley's car and got in.

"So do you have to go to this meeting?" Buffy asked, sliding across the seat and grabbing Riley's hand as he reached for his seatbelt. She put her other hand on his leg. "Think you could get away Sunday night?"

"Um, yeah," he said, his voice husky as he brought his hand up to her hair. "I think so."

She leaned forward, her tongue lazily tracing his lips. "Mmmm. I forgot how nice it was to be working with my boyfriend."

He pulled back, grinning. "Boyfriend? You don't even know my phone number."

She gave him one last, long kiss. "I think you'd better start the car, or else we might not make it to the game."


"This is o.k. - what I'm wearing, right?" Buffy said, noticing the attention they were attracting from some of the parents sitting and standing on the sidelines. She looked down, wishing she had gone with the more sedate blue top rather than the bright red one she had chosen.

"I liked what you were wearing before better, but yeah, that's fine."

Buffy smiled. She had pulled the halter out from the bottom drawer this morning, remembering how he used to untie the back and slip his fingers through the laces. Bad Buffy, she thought, chasing the images out of her head. There are children here. His children.

"Sun or shade?" Riley asked as he waved to Beth and Charlie who were sitting across the field.

"Sun. I hang out with too many vampires. I take the sun when I can get it."

Riley was glad she had chosen the sun - it was the closest they'd get to being alone together in this crowd, most of whom clearly preferred the shade.

"How many vampires do you hang out with?" he asked as he spread the blanket out on the ground and they sat down.

"Well, I guess only Angel now. But he's around all of the time - when I was in L.A., I mean. I did live with him after all."

"You lived with Angel?" Riley asked. "Like as in *with* Angel?" She hadn't mentioned that part.

"Dad!" Annie yelled. "Heads!"

Riley reached up and grabbed the ball that was soaring over his head as Annie came running up to them.

"Hi, Buffy," she said. "I'm glad you could come to the game."

"Thanks for inviting me," Buffy replied.

"Sure. You're coming to dinner, too, right? At Aunt Sarah's?"

Buffy looked at Riley. "What does Graham have to say about that?"

Riley said, "I'm not sure I'd eat anything he serves you, but he's pretty much o.k. with it."

"Then, o.k. Yes," Buffy said, turning back to Annie. "I'd love to. Thank you."

Annie nodded and grinned, drop-kicking the ball as she ran across the field towards the ref, who was about to start the game.

"Any particular reason you didn't say something about dinner?" Buffy asked guardedly.

"I had approval for the game, not dinner," Riley answered, not sure why she suddenly wouldn't look at him.

"So why is it o.k. now?"

"Annie wouldn't have said anything if she hadn't cleared it with Kate first. That's how they work."

"And you?" Buffy asked, eyes still on the ground. "You should have mentioned it."

Riley looked away. "Yeah, I probably should have. I'm sorry," he said. He hadn't meant to hurt her, but clearly he had. "I don't know how I'm supposed to do this. This is all such a new thing for me."

She nodded. "I guess I'm just not used to coming in second." Especially with you, she decided not to add. "It's o.k. I can deal."

"You're not second-"

"Just not first. Riley, I understand - they're your kids. I'm just your. I don't know. Whatever I am."

"Buffy, you're not *just* anything," he said, grabbing her hand, to hell with no PDA. "You're." He stopped, not sure of what to call her either. "Well, woman-I've-loved-for-almost-longer-than-I-can-remember-but-who-my-kids-didn't-even-know-existed-until-yesterday is just too damn hard to say."

She was glad that it was the laugh that came out and not the cry, although a few tears did escape. "You still love me?" she said quietly.

"More than I thought possible after all this time." He brushed a tear off her cheek with his free hand. "I told you I play for keeps."

Buffy let go of his other hand so she could wipe her eyes. "O.k.," she said. "I'm a little out of practice on the whole being in love thing."

"Tell me about it," he answered. "Plus the whole kids factor." He watched as Annie drove a ball down the field and kicked it into the opposing team's goal. "With them. Some days work and some days don't. They're fourteen and it's all so. fragile. I can't mess with that. They need to be able to trust me."

"Yeah. That's pretty important at this age," she said, looking away again. "But you'll have to bear with me for a little while. I got used to having you to myself last time around. Too used to it. That's how I lost you, isn't it?" she asked sadly. But that was a long time ago. A lot of lessons had been learned since then. She brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Turning back to him she said, "Don't worry. I'll adjust. We'll figure this out. Just don't hold things back, o.k.? I have my own issues with the trust thing."

He nodded and looked away, knowing that he hadn't exactly done anything to help her out on that front. The hours since he had seen her had been such a whirlwind that the guilt had fallen by the wayside, but it suddenly came rushing back. "Buffy, I am so-"

"Don't," she said, cutting him off. "That was such a long time ago." She didn't want to have that talk. Maybe someday, but not now. What good could it possibly do to dredge that up? "You never have to say that to me." She smiled as he turned back to her. "Didn't you tell me that once?"

A sad smile appeared on his face as he remembered that night, that moment. The urge to take her in his arms and make it all up to her. Back then there had been so many reasons not to give in to that urge; right now the only one was that they were surrounded by a hundred other people.

"If we weren't in the middle of all these people, I'd be kissing you right now," he said gruffly, as her eyes locked on his. The kids, the parents, the soccer field - everything - ceased to exist.

"Just kissing?" she said, suddenly at a loss for air. She broke their intense stare, forcing herself to turn back to the game. "If I have to imagine something, it's gonna be a lot more involved than kissing."

Riley put his hands out on the ground behind him, and leaned back, his legs stretched out in front of him, trying to act a lot more casually than he felt at the moment. "Like what exactly?"

She gave him an evil smile as her gaze very deliberately traveled from his eyes, down his torso, coming to rest between his legs before looking up at him again. "You may not want to be quite so exposed when I tell you."

So much for acting casually. He leaned forward, his eyes gleaming. Two could play at this game. "Then as long as we're imagining, I'm picturing you wearing that top you had on earlier."

"Me wearing it? Or you taking it off?"


Graham gave them until well into the second half before coming over and sitting on the blanket next to them. "Sorry to be interrupting, but I can't take any more of their questions." He nodded his head towards the group of parents clustered along the midfield line. "The moms all want to know who you are and where you came from and the dads are all checking you out," he said, smiling at Buffy. "So, hi. Welcome to Boston."

"Thank you, Graham," she replied. "It's kind of nice to see you."

"Yeah. It's kind of nice to see you, too." Graham laughed because it was, in an odd way. Seeing her with Riley - with a Riley who looked happier than he had looked for about as far back as Graham could remember - made Graham feel like he was back in school again. Sitting at the Bronze, kicking back with Forrest, hassling Riley for yet another night (afternoon, morning) of hearing him and Buffy through the thin walls of Lowell House. "What do you think of the game so far?"

As games went, she preferred the one she and Riley had been playing in the first half, but this one wasn't so bad. "I like that it's co-ed. Makes things interesting."

"Mmmm. You're in the minority on that one. Most of the parents weren't too happy about it, but the kids made it happen. Well, mostly Annie and Kate. They take after their mom - anyone in authority had better watch out."

"Hey," Riley protested, "that's my wife you're talking about. And my daughters. They're not exactly troublemakers. A little backbone isn't a bad thing."

Graham smiled as he turned back to Buffy. "They almost didn't get the school to agree but then they pulled the sympathy card and Kate actually cried. Annie put her arms around Kate and said in the saddest voice you can imagine, 'It's what our mom would have wanted if she were alive.' She had the whole school board crying."

Buffy looked at Riley and then back at Graham. "Why are you guys laughing? That doesn't seem like it would be funny."

Riley replied, "They practiced that routine in front of the mirror for a week before the meeting. Even practiced a reserved, thankful response for when the Board gave in. Now *that* is something Sam would have liked to see."

"Wow," Buffy said, looking back at the field. "That's what I'm up against?"

"Well, Annie's mostly on your side," Riley said. "That should help. They're much worse when they gang up."

"Great. Makes me feel so much better," Buffy said, following Riley's gaze to the field where his and Graham's attention was grimly focused on a kid charging at Kate, the goalie. The kid was twice Kate's size, and Buffy recognized him from earlier in the game when he had practically tackled Kate twice, earning a penalty the first time, getting away with it the second.

"Who is he?" she asked.

Graham said, "A total brute. He put three goalies in the hospital last year - plays really rough. Shouldn't even be playing in this league but he's headed to some big school on scholarship next year and they like to show him off."

Buffy watched as Kate appeared to brace herself for the impending impact, but instead of getting the brunt of the boy's force, she jumped in the air right as he reached the goal. He had also jumped and was clearly trying to use his bulk to intimidate her as he tried to knock the ball in. Kate's jump was higher, however, and as she punched the ball away from the goal, she twisted and brought her elbow into the kid's jaw. Her shoulder and hip slammed against him, knocking him backwards to the ground.

"That looks familiar," Buffy said, turning to Riley. "Is she allowed to do that?"

He grinned and shrugged, not taking his eyes off Kate and the boy who were now both in the middle of an argument with the referee over whether a penalty should have been called on the play.

"She's still a little green - most goalies hide it better," he answered, "but this ref has a strong sense of justice. He hates that other kid."

They watched as the referee shook his head and started to walk away. The boy chased after him, yelling something, infuriated when the ref turned back and threw him out of the game. Kate just stood in the goal, eyes on the ground, looking contrite while visibly shaking.

Buffy wasn't sure if Kate was scared or crying. She realized neither guess was right when she saw Kate look up and catch Riley's eyes, flashing him a broad grin that was gone in an instant, as Kate crouched again, ready for play to resume. Kate had been laughing. Now this was a girl she could come to love, Buffy thought. Too bad the feeling wasn't mutual. Yet.

"What are Jack and Liam like?" Buffy asked. She felt she was starting to get a sense of the twins from meeting them the night before and watching them during the game, but Riley's sons were still total unknowns.

"Well Jack's already planning on calling you 'Mom,'" Riley said, smiling at the deer-in-headlights look in Buffy's eyes as she turned to him. "But unless you're a computer game or a comic book, you probably won't get much attention from him."

" 'Mom'?" It was one thing in the abstract. "Um, Riley - I changed my mind. I think I need to move back to California."

He ignored her as he said, "And Liam's, well, he's hard to describe. Kind of focused, more perceptive than you'd think for an eleven-year-old boy, although he can definitely still be a smart-ass. Sometimes he's a little too serious, doesn't have as much fun as a kid should have."

"Remind you of anyone?" Graham muttered, getting a glare from Riley.

"Not all the time, though," Riley continued. "Give him a skateboard and he turns into a different person." He shrugged. "He's eleven. He's just starting to try and figure everything out."

"What do they remember about Sam?" Buffy asked, wanting to take it back as soon as she saw Riley's face fall. She looked to Graham, but he just shook his head and looked away.

Riley took a few minutes to respond. He finally said, "Sometimes I think Kate is channeling her." He smiled because he knew how that sounded, especially coming from him, but there were times he couldn't help but believe it. "There are things she says that, I swear, she could only get from Sam. Everything about her." He shook his head. "My mother-in-law says that Kate is Sam at fourteen. Looks the same, acts the same. It can be pretty brutal."

"Sorry," Buffy said, noticing that Riley's eyes were glistening in the sun. "I didn't mean to."

Riley shook his head at her apology, watching Kate at the goal for a few minutes before speaking again. "But that didn't really answer your question. I guess I don't really know how much the girls actually remember, or how much is because of stories we've told them. They're very protective of her, though-"

"School board meetings notwithstanding," Buffy added.

"They thought she would be proud of how creative they were being." Riley smiled. "I think they were right."

Graham said, "I swear Sam's ghost was there, urging them on. You think I'm kidding," he said when Buffy smiled.

"And the boys?" Buffy asked.

"Liam was just three, Jack only six months. Liam might have a glimpse or two, but Jack?" Riley shook his head and looked at Buffy. "That's why he wanted to call you 'Mom.' Said he never got to have one."

"Ouch," said Graham, watching Riley. "That must have been fun."

"Oh," was Buffy's response, sorry for her earlier reaction.

"Well, that and because he thought Buffy was a weird name," Riley added.

"Which it is," Graham said. Their attention was back on the game as they watched Josh and Annie dribble the ball down the field, Josh dropping back as he kicked the ball towards the corner of the goal, in the perfect position for Annie to head butt it in. "Poetry. Those two have been doing that since they were seven years old. They're unbeatable."

The ref blew his whistle signaling the end of the game.

"What happens now?" Buffy asked.

"Now all the parents stand around as we wait for our kids to acknowledge us, which they only do because otherwise they wouldn't have a ride home," Riley said.

"Which actually happens with most kids but is total bullshit when it comes to Riley and his girls," Graham said. He stood up and offered his hand to Buffy. "We'd better get out of here before we get caught in the crossfire. Let me introduce you around."

Riley asked Buffy, "You o.k. with that? This is kind of a thing." He nodded at the field where the team had just broken from a huddle with their coach and Annie and Kate had already started running across the field towards the blanket.

Buffy nodded and let Graham lead her away. She glanced back to see the twins collapsing down on the blanket, one on either side of Riley, talking excitedly about the game.

"I don't know what they'd do if anything ever happened to him," Graham said. "Jack and Liam, too. Hell, if it hadn't been for him, I'd probably be a divorced, bitter drunk who sat in a wheelchair all day. There's no one else like him."

Buffy looked down. "Yeah, I. I've missed him."

Graham stopped walking and turned to her. "I know I'm out of line, here, but."

"I know what's riding on this, Graham." Buffy's eyes were blazing. "This isn't just some roll in the hay for me, either. I've spent the last fifteen years. Damn it," she said, furiously wiping tears from her eyes. "If I'm going to cry, I don't want it to be in front of you. And since when did you become all chatty anyway? Aren't you supposed to be the strong, silent type?"

Looking away, Graham tried to hide his grin. For so many years he had been so bitter towards her that he had forgotten how much he liked her before everything went bad. "How about I choose now to be silent?"

Buffy smiled, despite every effort not to. "Well, not right now because these people seem to want to say hi."

Graham turned around to the couple that had just come up behind him. "Patty, Dave, hi. This is Buffy."


"You sure you want to do this?" Riley asked Buffy as they pulled into Graham's driveway. She looked a little shell-shocked.

She nodded and took a deep breath. "Dinner. A few kids. Graham's wife who keeps trying to set you up." Her voice became a little more desperate with each word.

He laughed and put his hand on her knee. "The ride was really the worst part," he said as the last of the screaming kids poured out of the back of the Suburban. "From here on in? All downhill."

"Right." She climbed out of the car and followed him up the sidewalk and into the house.

"Hey, Sarah," Riley called as they headed to the kitchen. "I see you got the message about Annie inviting the whole team for dinner."

"I had a feeling that might happen," Sarah said, looking into the backyard where all the kids had gathered around a picnic table. "This time I'm prepared." She turned to Riley to give him a hug, noticing for the first time that he wasn't alone.

"Hi," she said, throwing a look of surprise at Riley before holding her hand out to Buffy. "I'm Sarah."

"Sarah," Riley said, "this is Buffy."

"Buffy?" Sarah asked incredulously. "As in *the* Buffy? Before Sam Buffy? I've only ever loved two."

"Um, yeah," Riley replied. "Leave me a little dignity, o.k.?"

"So you two have already met," Graham said, walking in and giving Sarah a kiss. "What's for dinner and what do I need to do?"

Sarah wordlessly handed Graham a bowl of chicken that had been marinating.

"Let's go," he said to Riley, nodding towards the backyard where Josh and three other kids had joined the group at the picnic table. "They're waiting for us."

Looking at Buffy, Riley said, "I thought I'd stay in-"

"It's o.k.," Buffy responded with a smile. "Go. Do whatever you guys do."

"You sure?" he said. "I can."

Buffy glared at him. "Go. Really."

"O.k.," Riley said, lingering.

"Come on," Graham muttered as he opened the screen door to the back patio. "She'll be here when you come back."

Riley glanced out to the yard, making sure the kids were well occupied. He grinned at Buffy and pulled her into his arms, surprising her with a heated kiss, before following Graham outside.

"Wow," Sarah said. "I didn't know he could still do that. Haven't seen that in a long time."

"Haven't felt that in a long time," Buffy murmured.

Looking out the back window, she watched Riley snatch a Nerf football out of the air and throw it back at Josh. Soon Graham was involved, too, as were most of the kids and two dogs. "Are they always this sporty?" she asked Sarah, who was pulling vegetables out of the refrigerator.

Sarah laughed. "Pretty much. Tiring, isn't it?"

"There are more," Buffy said, overwhelmed as more people - kids and parents - came into the backyard. So much for just dinner and a few kids.

"You want to join them?" Sarah said. "I'm fine in here."

"No, that's o.k. I don't think I have that much energy," Buffy replied, not willing to admit that she found Riley's daughters intimidating. The Slayer being afraid of two teenage girls. Ridiculous. "Chopping carrots is about where I am right now."

Sarah handed Buffy a cutting board and knife. "You o.k.?"

Buffy nodded, trying to ward off a sense of panic. No, Sarah. Not o.k. at all. The opposite, in fact. K.O. Knocked out on the floor and down for the count. But thanks for asking.

She took the knife and board from Sarah and started cutting up the peppers that were in front of her. Deep breaths - in, out, in, out. Yesterday morning she had woken up reasonably happy and content in her spinsterhood, not having anyone else to answer to, or that she had to share things with, or was responsible for, any more than usual at least - totally in control of her life. Well, as much as possible.

But here she was, one day later, with the taste of Riley Finn on her lips and the no longer distant memory of his body against hers. Here she was, fifteen years after she had last laid eyes on him, smack dab in the middle of suburbia, seriously contemplating the possibility of becoming his wife and the mother to his four children.

Gulp. To put it lightly.

Oddly enough, though, that wasn't even what made her want to walk straight out the door and not look back. No. What made her heart stick in her throat was the feeling that she was trespassing on a dead woman's memory. It was Sam who should be here and everyone knew it.

Not that there was anything to be done about that, of course, but Buffy still couldn't help but feel her presence was just an awful reminder to everyone of the hole Sam had left behind. She tried to shake off that feeling and just concentrate on what Sarah was saying.

"For a few weeks, it was only three or four kids after the games," Sarah said, sitting down across the table from Buffy and tearing leaves off the heads of lettuce. "Then Annie decided everyone should be involved, as she usually does, so I think I'll be feeding the team dinner until the end of the summer."

Sending a silent thank you to Sarah for not pushing the whole 'are you o.k.' issue, Buffy said, "You don't mind? Playing hostess for Riley's kids?"

Smiling, Sarah shook her head. "We all take turns; Riley definitely takes on his share. But even if we didn't, it would be worth it to see those two happy." She nodded at Riley and Graham who were doing a ridiculously juvenile dance in the makeshift end zone. "It took a while to get there."

"Riley said it was a tough few years after Sam."

"Yeah. Pretty tough," Sarah agreed as she moved on to peeling cucumbers. "Your name came up a few times back then, in fact."

Her eyes on the table, Sarah didn't notice Buffy's look of surprise. "Graham would go through these, I don't know, cycles. Most of the time he wouldn't talk to any of us, even Riley. Especially Riley. Couldn't bear to face him after watching Sam." She caught herself before finishing the sentence. Sarah still wasn't sure if Riley knew that Sam had survived the initial impact. That Graham had watched her die. "After the crash. But then he'd get these things he'd focus on for days on end. And one time he got it in his head that he was going to find you and somehow that would make Riley's pain go away."

"Graham said that?" Buffy asked.

Sarah nodded her head. "I know. Seems hard to believe." She knew all too well the depths Riley had sunken to after leaving California, and she knew that Graham had spent a lot of time blaming Buffy.

It was only recently that he had finally admitted to himself, and only reluctantly to her, that he blamed Buffy because it was a lot easier than accepting the guilt he felt for letting his best friend down. Said he should have realized how bad things were, but it had been too easy to accept Riley's word when he said things were fine. Especially since Graham's guilt was compounded by the fact that his and Sarah's relationship had been taking off as Riley's and Buffy's was crashing.

"But he didn't," Buffy said, head down. "Try and find me."

"No, Graham didn't follow through on much of anything those days," Sarah said, remembering the aftermath of the accident: Graham's near-catatonia, Riley's surreal calm in the first few months and then total breakdown soon after, not to mention trying to deal with her own ups and downs while struggling to essentially be a single parent to six young kids - her own two, who to this day, got annoyed with Graham because he had never seen his wheelchair as the great new toy it could have been, and Riley and Sam's four, who had lost their mother in the crash and their father to shock and grief. The arrival of Riley's mom had been a Godsend for everyone.

"What was Sam like?" Buffy asked softly, feeling a need to know more about the woman who had been such a big part of Riley's life.

"You never met?" Sarah asked, surprised. "I always assumed you knew each other."

"We did meet, but only once," Buffy said. "For a few hours." Hours in which she had run through almost every emotion known to humankind - surprise, happiness, and hope, giving way to shock, regret, shame and despair. Seeing in Sam not the woman she was, but instead the woman Buffy wasn't.

"What was Sam like," Sarah repeated, reaching for memories from long ago. "Well, let's see, the way I remember describing her to my mother was tall, athletic, gorgeous, and rich, all things I'm obviously not," she said, laughing as she gestured to her short, more-on-the-plump-side frame. "I spent much too much time dwelling on those things when she and Graham partnered up."

"She and Graham were partners? I thought Sam worked with Riley."

"Not after the twins were born," Sarah said, shaking her head. "They decided that in case of an." She stopped abruptly, the vision of Sam's joking smile one night at dinner when she sat back in her chair, happily patting her stomach, saying to Sarah, If I go down in glory, you just keep feeding Riley dinners like this and he'll be o.k.

"In case of an accident," Sarah continued, "it would be better for the kids if at least one of them was around. It made it hard, though; they didn't get to see each other much, which is why I think Riley agreed to take the job setting up the office here in Boston. It was only supposed to be for a year, but, well, things have a way of changing, don't they?"

They certainly do, Buffy thought. So that was why they had moved to Boston, and why Riley had spent the last ten years behind a desk instead of out in the field. "What did they do when Sam was pregnant?"

"Getting right to the heart of the matter?" Sarah asked, a twinkle in her eyes, suddenly seeing Sam's kindred spirit in Buffy - the warm, broad smile acknowledging that the question she had just asked might be a little too personal for some people's taste. At the same time there was a total lack of apology and a very strong sense that this woman could tear your head off with her bare hands if you decided not to give her the answer she sought.

Answering Buffy's question, she said, "I didn't know her very well when she was pregnant with the girls. Although I do remember Graham saying she was furious with him when he ordered her to see a doctor, and with the doctor when he wouldn't send her back to Nepal with-" Sarah looked up as Buffy's knife slipped. "Do you need a band-aid for that?"

"No, that's o.k.," Buffy said, getting up to run her finger under cold water. "I heal pretty fast. You were saying - Nepal?"

"Right. They were on some mission in the mountains and she fainted a few times. They thought it was because of the altitude but Graham ordered her to the Base in Japan to get it checked out. So, well, diagnosis: pregnant with twins. She was on leave until she had the babies. Graham said if it weren't for the fact that she loved Japan so much, she probably would have killed either him, Riley, or both of them. Which I can totally believe because she threatened to do that more than once when she was pregnant with Liam. She seemed a little happier by the time Jack came along - they were living in Boston by then - but she still had her moments."

Of all the techniques Angel had taught Buffy during their training, the hardest for her to learn had been the art of interrogation. Her instinct was to keep firing questions or to start throwing punches, but usually it helped to just remain silent and eventually the other person would get so uncomfortable that they would just keep talking. She turned the water off and looked at Sarah expectantly.

"Honey," Sarah said, her own fiery spirit shining in her eyes, "I've been married to Graham for fifteen years. If there's one thing I've learned in all that time, it's how to deal with silence. You may as well ask me whatever it is you want to know."

Taken aback for a moment, Buffy started to deny that she had any more questions, but it didn't take too long to realize that was a bad idea. She sat down across from Sarah and picked up the knife again, slicing the cucumbers Sarah had finished peeling. "You don't feel you're betraying Riley's confidence?"

"If I felt like I were betraying him, I wouldn't be telling you," Sarah responded, keeping her eyes on the carrots in front of her. "Trust me, that wide-eyed look may work wonders on Riley or even Graham, but it does nothing for me."

They both looked up at the same time, guarded at first, and then smiling broadly as they recognized in each other not only a worthy opponent, but also a potential friend.

"You people sure are tough," Buffy said, smiling and thinking that she liked this group that was part of Riley's life.

"I suppose it's a requirement when you're dealing with the Slayer," Sarah answered. "What?" she said to Buffy's look of surprise. "You think I wouldn't use my own wily ways to find out who this Buffy person was?"

"So you know what we do."

"Graham actually tried to hide it from me for the first couple years we were married. It might have worked if it had occurred to him to do his own laundry. You know how hard it is to get some of those demon guts out of a pair of pants? Tide just doesn't do it."

Laughing, Buffy said, "Vinegar. The clear kind."

"You've got to be kidding me." Sarah shook her head. "The amount of clothes I have thrown away." She got up and grabbed a huge salad bowl off the counter, dumping everything into it. "You ready to greet the crowd?"

Buffy looked out the window and took a deep breath. "Yeah. Sure. I can do this." There were more teenagers out there than she knew when she was in high school. "Are they going to make us play football, too?"

"Unfortunately, yes. But not 'til after we eat."

"I bet Sam loved football. She was probably great at it, too." Buffy picked up the salad and headed to the door.

"Oh, don't even go there," Sarah said, laughing as she grabbed a couple of bags of potato chips off the counter. "Just do not go there."


"So this is kind of like junior high school?" Buffy asked Riley in one of the few moments they were able to catch alone together, not that alone was exactly the right word since they were in the middle of the backyard, surrounded by all these other people. "Girls at the picnic table, boys around the grill?"

"Welcome to the suburban version of the Hellmouth," he said with a sheepish grin. "You know that I love you even more because you're willing to put up with this."

"Don't tell anyone, but I'm actually kind of enjoying myself." She smiled. "It's the playing football thing you're going to have to pay for."

"Sarah told you about that?" He turned when he heard his name called. "In a minute!" he shouted in the general direction of the grill.

She grabbed a Coke out of the cooler and started back to where Sarah was sitting with several other women. "You're just lucky it's touch and not tackle," she said over her shoulder. "You would be so dead."

He watched her walk back and sit next to Sarah, already looking like she belonged as she laughed at something someone had just said.

"Hey, Riley - come on!" Graham yelled as he held his arms open. "You gonna hook us up or what?"

Riley nodded his head and reached down to pull out a few bottles of beer. Forcing himself to look away from Buffy, he brought the drinks back over to where Graham and the other guys were standing.

"Well, Sarah seems to have taken to her," Graham said, nodding his head towards the picnic table.

"I'm not the one that needs convincing," Riley replied.

Graham avoided answering by shouting, "Who's hungry?!" He was a lot more comfortable after seeing Buffy in person and watching her and Riley together - it was almost as though the last sixteen years had never happened and they were all back in Sunnydale. But those years had happened and they weren't in Sunnydale. And they all had a hell of a lot more baggage to deal with. Graham wasn't quite ready to trust her yet.

Riley managed to actually sit next to Buffy at dinner, thinking that she was right about this being like junior high school. He thought that had probably been the last time in his life he was so affected by the simple act of someone's hand brushing against his.

Not to mention what a different light it put on the game of touch football - knowing without a doubt that if she had the ball he was going to be the one right behind her, his hands slipping ever so slightly as he tagged her; her twisting her body so that even tackle-less football required full body blocking. Carrying out major physical contact just below everyone else's radar screen.

He was about to catch a pass when it occurred to him that that they probably weren't the only ones, and every indecent thought that passed through his head had already made its rounds among all these kids. The thought, of course, made him miss the pass, which was caught instead by Annie who ran it in for the opposing team's winning touchdown. Ordinarily, it would have pissed him off to make such a stupid mistake, but in this case it was a blessing because otherwise he would have spent the rest of the game obsessing about Annie and Charlie. Kate and Ben were pretty circumspect, too.

"Did you miss that on purpose?" Graham asked. "Or are we going to have to get used to losing now that your mind is on Buffy all the time?"

"No more touch football," Riley said. "Do you realize what these kids are thinking about? It's like a field day for hormones. Next time we play croquet."

"We've been doing this all summer and you're just figuring that out now?" Graham said, shaking his head and laughing as he walked towards the house.

"Hey - that was actually fun!" Buffy said, coming over to Riley. "Thanks for helping us win," she said, smiling.

"Believe me, it was totally unintentional. Not that it mattered - I saw that last play you made."

"You noticed that?" She thought she had been pretty subtle in using her Slayer skills to jump and catch that pass; not subtle enough apparently. "Did you see that Kate actually passed to me twice? I even got a high five in the end zone." She waved at people as they started to leave. "It's time to go home now?"

"I was actually thinking we might talk to Graham about the meeting in Toronto. You up for some shop talk?"

"Sure."

Graham told them to wait in his office while he helped Sarah make sure everything was cleaned up and that the kids were set watching movies. He brushed off their attempts to assist by saying, "We've got it covered. Give me fifteen, maybe twenty minutes."

"Was that like the green light, Graham-style?" Buffy asked as she followed Riley into the room.

"Close enough," he said, closing the door behind him and bending down to kiss her, marveling how he had gone years without craving that, yet the last six hours of not being able to touch her beyond the confines of the football game had been pure hell.

"Clothes stay on," he warned, leading her over to a small couch in the corner of the room. He sat down and pulled her onto his lap, his hands roaming over her body as she drew him to her, running her fingers through his hair. Her lips went to his mouth, where they basically stayed until ten minutes later when the phone rang, prompting Riley to break away.

"You don't have to answer that, do you?" Buffy's words were muffled by Riley's throat since she refused to let go of him but instead moved her lips down his jaw and neck.

"No, just coming up for air." He groaned when she placed her hand on his knee, working her way up the inside of his thigh. "Hey," he said when she stopped just short of contact. "I didn't say anything about stopping."

"Thought you might need something to look forward to," she said, cupping his chin and leaning in for one more kiss before disentangling herself from his arms and legs. She got up off the couch and glanced back at him. "We're just getting started."

"Yeah?" He leaned back smiling, wondering when exactly they were going to finish what they started given his schedule over the next few days - picking up Dad and Liam at the airport tonight, Jack's baseball practice tomorrow night, and the Red Sox game with Liam on Friday. He watched her walk across the room, her attention focused on the photographs hanging above Graham's desk.

"This one's nice," she said, pointing to a picture of Forrest, his arms around Riley and Graham, all three holding their cans of beer out, toasting whoever was taking the picture.

"Our first week in Sunnydale. Had no clue what we were getting into."

Her gaze had moved on to a larger, black and white photo - Riley surrounded by his and Graham's kids as he held an infant. "Who's the baby?"

"Graham's youngest. Sam," he answered as her attention focused on another black and white one.

"Was this the team that-?"

"Yep." He usually avoided looking at that particular picture when he was in here with Graham, but this time it drew him in. It had been taken by some random soldier right before the helicopter took off. Sam was already inside, smiling at the camera, but unable to hide the fierce look in her eyes. Riley had never been able to make up his mind whether the look was from the fight they had had the day before or the excitement for the mission. He tried not to give it too much thought because either way it hurt too much: the guilt from that last conversation battling with the painful loss of her energy from his life.

Connors, the pilot, was just finishing his pre-flight check. Riley could practically hear him yelling for the rest of the squad to get their asses in gear and in the chopper. Jackson, as usual, giving Connors a hard time, his devilish grin caught on film. Murphy - always two steps behind, always seemingly clueless about everything going on around him, but always there in the clutch - crouching down to tie his boot, totally oblivious to everyone around him. And Graham, leaning against the chopper, clipboard in his hands as he signed off on some last minute orders.

The picture, taken only hours before the crash, had been part of the investigation, and Riley had had to look at it more than he could stomach in those early days; he could never understand how Graham could stand to have it hanging where he couldn't help but see it almost every day. But now, looking at it as if for the first time, Riley actually smiled, thinking how perfectly the photographer had captured each member of the team, much better than any memorial service Riley had been to.

He hadn't even noticed Buffy coming back to the couch until she sat down next to him, putting her arms around him and kissing him on the cheek before settling down, her feet curled up underneath her. His arm slipped around her shoulder and she leaned into him, hugging him tightly, knowing that it was just the luck of the draw that he hadn't been the one in the helicopter when it went down.

"I'm so sorry," was all she could say, lost in her own thoughts of how close they had each come to dying so many times, the fact that they were both still alive seeming more and more like a miracle; far larger than the one that had brought them together again.

"So, what's up?" Graham asked when he came into the room a few minutes later.

Riley took his arm out from around Buffy and leaned forward. "You get a chance to talk to Sarah yet about Monday?"

"He sure did. No wonder he's been so chatty today," Sarah said, pushing open the door with her hip as she carried in a tray laden with coffee cups and a plate of brownies. She put the tray down on Graham's desk. To Buffy, she said, "He gets downright conversational when he's in a bad mood, and that woman always puts him in a bad mood. Milk? Sugar?"

"Yes, thanks," Buffy said, accepting the mug from Sarah. She was glad that Sarah seemed to know everything that was going on; keeping secrets took too much energy, and Buffy tended to stay away from people she had to hide things from. And it was nice to add another person to the circle of those who knew what her life was really like. That circle was seeming a lot smaller these days. Plus, she really liked Sarah, to her complete amazement. The woman was the exact opposite of what she had imagined Graham's wife - the woman whose goal was to marry off Riley - to be.

As much as that was a surprise, though, Buffy was more astounded when it came to the turnaround in her attitude about Graham. Until yesterday, her thoughts of him had been full of bitterness and shame. Bitterness because she knew if it weren't for him Riley never would have left Sunnydale; shame because Graham had been able to see what she hadn't - that Riley was sinking fast and someone needed to help him back up. So many years later, her hurt and anger at what Riley had done had faded, but the sadness and regret over how things had ended were still there.

She said, "Is 'that woman' Jessica Cain?"

Riley nodded. Looking at Graham he said, "Who Buffy is now working for."

"You're kidding," Graham said. "Cain brought in reinforcements? Unbelievable." He turned to Buffy. "What are you supposed to be doing for her?"

Buffy glanced at Riley before looking back at Graham. "I can't really talk about it."

Riley said, "It would probably be better if Angel were part of this conversation. You want to talk to him alone first? Or would you rather call him now?"

Flashing a smile at Riley, she nodded and caught the cordless phone that Graham threw to her. "Hi," she said when Angel picked up. "It's me. You have a minute?"

Everyone watched as she carried on an animated conversation, one in which she was clearly not entirely happy with Angel.

"No, I will not.," she said, cutting off as Angel said something. "Angel. No. What I said was." She let out a sound that was the verbal equivalent of stomping her foot. "Fine." She held out the phone to Riley. "He wants to talk to you."

"He does?" Riley asked. He sat up straight and took the phone. "Angel."

"Riley. Feels like I'm talking to a ghost."

"Feels like I'm talking to a vampire," Riley replied, thinking that that was an incredibly immature response for a forty-year-old man.

"So it looks like we're not exactly on the same side, here," Angel said.

"I'm on the side of the hikers who keep turning up dead. Which side are you on?"

Buffy could hear an edge to Riley's voice - not a good sign. Graham had apparently heard it too, though, and she was glad when he hit the button that put the phone on speaker. He said, "Angel - Graham Miller. I work with Riley. Jessica might have mentioned my name."

"Yes," Angel said. "Not entirely in a positive way."

"No, probably not," Graham answered, smiling. "I realize this isn't the way you usually do things, but I think we can all work together on this."

"My client doesn't seem to think so," Angel replied.

Now it was Angel being stubborn, Buffy thought. This time around, it was much more amusing to see Riley and Angel interacting - no guns, no blood had been shed. Not amusing enough, however, to let it continue. Somewhat surprised to find herself allied with Graham, she said, "I think Graham's right. We're stronger if we do this together. We have the same ultimate goal; there's no reason we should be at odds."

"Would someone mind clarifying what the ultimate goal is?" Sarah asked. "I'm still a little unclear on that point."

Buffy had completely forgotten that Sarah was there, but she was grateful for the opportunity to move into neutral territory. "Angel, that was Sarah, Graham's wife." She knew that Angel wouldn't be thrilled to have yet another person privy to their client's business, but right now she didn't much care about that. She was more concerned with Angel and Riley getting over their issues about each other so they could all work together.

"Riley," she said, "tell Angel what you told me."

Riley looked at Graham, who just shrugged. They had known each other for so long that words were no longer necessary. Graham's response was basically: you clearly already told Buffy, what's stopping you now?

The details Riley gave were as much for Sarah's sake as they were for Angel's: the bodies of hikers turning up adrift in canoes with no discernible cause of death apart from the fact that their hearts had stopped. One or two heart attacks that wouldn't have attracted attention if they were isolated, but ten were suspicious, especially when they happened to young, seemingly healthy men. Add that to the fact that the bodies had strange markings on them, and it was clear that something unusual was going on. And it was most certainly still going on because in addition to the dead bodies, there were four people missing, two of those four disappearing within the last three weeks.

"Why are you involved?" Angel asked. "Why didn't they go to the police?"

"They did at first," Riley said. "The police are the ones who came to us."

"We can get you the transcripts from the interviews," Graham said. "The ones with the guides are particularly interesting, mostly because of what they don't say."

The guides interviewed had been unusually forthcoming, supplying dates, facts, and copious details in answer to almost every question, baffling the police because none of the information provided had given a clue to how these men had died. A policewoman had jokingly said something about an evil spirit, since nothing human could do this so cleanly. The response spoke volumes - after that, every single person they tried to interview refused to cooperate in any way. What had first seemed to be a joke now seemed to have its roots in truth.

"How did they know to come to you?" Buffy asked. "How do they even know you exist?"

"There's usually someone who's heard of us," Riley said.

"And there are always rumors when something like this is happening," Graham added. "We tend to find out about them."

"How is it that we've never crossed paths before?" Angel asked.

Buffy had been thinking the very same thing, suddenly unsure of everything that had happened over the last twenty-four hours. If Riley had known that she was out there, but had let her think he was dead. God, if he had been the one to send that letter.

"Did you ever.?" she said to Riley quietly, oblivious to the fact that Angel's question hadn't been answered and all attention was on her. "Why didn't you ever try to find me?" She knew moving to Angel's hotel had made her more difficult to track down, but not impossible.

"I did."

Once - when time still felt like a friend and life was full of beginnings, not endings. Only weeks before Jack's birth; still months away from Sam's death. He had been eager to get back home, knowing Sam could go into labor at any time, and even though he was in Sunnydale with Sam's blessing, every passing hour seemed to be taking him further into the past, further away from his wife and family. Now, of course, it seemed as though he had given up far too easily, but then it had just felt more like a betrayal of Sam and the life they had built together.

And then, after Sam's death. After he had come out of a hell darker than anything else he had ever been through, something far worse than those months after he left Sunnydale. Only then, had he been able to think about Buffy again. But after surviving that darkness, he knew he wasn't strong enough to go through it again.

And no matter how simple it would have been to find Xander or Willow or even Angel through one of the scores of connections Riley and Graham had forged in their years in this business, no matter how easy it would have been to make that phone call, he could never face it. Could never quite face the possibility of hearing that Buffy was dead, too.

"It was better to think you were alive, than to know you were dead," he said, the pain in his voice obvious to anyone listening.

"Oh, Riley," Buffy said, wanting to curse and scream at him for letting so many years go by, but unable to because she had essentially done the same, alternating between acceptance of his death and refusal to believe anything the government told her. She had finally allowed her heart some peace by deciding that wherever he was - whether it was in some jungle hunting demons or in that wondrous place where she had been - he was happy.

So many years. So many years wasted.

"God," Buffy said, her voice thick with tears as she put her hand to Riley's face. She leaned close to him, whispering, "I love you so much," so softly only he could hear.

He pulled her to him, not wanting to let her go. Ever. Silently sending thanks to whatever it was - God, Fate, Chance, Luck - that had somehow brought them back together.

Buffy clung to him, releasing her hold only when she heard Angel clear his throat. This so wasn't the time for intimate conversation. She turned to see Graham handing Sarah a tissue.

"I'm sorry, that's just so." Sarah said, waving her hand in the air. "Sorry. Forget I'm here. Carry on."

Clearly happy to do just that, Graham said, "Angel - you do much work in Canada?"

"No. This is our first case outside of California," Angel replied.

"Well, that explains it then," said Graham. "Ever since the whole Sunnydale thing our bosses tend to shy away from California. From any kind of domestic intervention, in fact - we'll assist and advise local law enforcement, but we're pretty much in the background."

"What do you do outside of the U.S.?" Angel said. "What's your role in this case?"

"That's what Monday's meeting is supposed to be about, but typically our teams identify and eliminate the threat. In this case, our first priority is actually getting them to let us in to the Park under our terms. The land is highly protected by the government so there are a lot of restrictions on what types of equipment we can use. But I'm concerned about the safety of my men; I don't want to send them in unprotected."

"Then that's probably why they hired us," Angel said. "Our equipment is generally limited to crossbows and stakes."

"Plus you and Buffy," Riley added.

"Right," Angel said. "Plus Buffy and me."

"I'm assuming none of that has the potential to wipe out a couple thousand acres with one blast," Graham said.

"You don't know Buffy," both Angel and Riley said at the same time.

The look on Riley's face almost made Graham laugh out loud. Riley might not care for this Angel guy, but Graham was starting to like him. Graham sat up straighter in his chair. He'd heard enough to know that he could trust Buffy in the work-related sense at least; that went for Angel, too. And despite Riley's obvious issue with Buffy's boss, Riley clearly knew that Angel and Buffy worked as a team and that didn't seem to bother him. That was enough in Graham's book.

"What do you think, Angel? About working with us?" Graham said. "I realize that Jessica's your client and you won't be able to share all your information, but I think it would help us all if we're on the same page."

It seemed to take forever for Angel to respond. He finally said, "However Buffy wants to proceed is fine with me."

Buffy let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding. She knew Angel was going to want to talk more, but he had actually consented much more willingly than she'd expected. She grabbed Riley's hand and squeezed.

"Great," Graham said. "We'll get you those transcripts tomorrow morning. If there's anything else you need, let me know."

"Sure," Angel said. "Buffy."

"I know," she said. "I'll call you. First thing tomorrow. And, thanks."

"Don't mention it," he said. "'Night." He hung up.

"I guess we should get going," Riley said as Graham shut off the phone. "Let me go round up Kate and Annie."

"Oh, I forgot," Sarah said as Riley stood up. "I was talking to the girls earlier about staying over tonight - I have tomorrow off so I was thinking we'd head to the beach. And your mom called - Liam and your dad got an offer to go night diving so they're not coming home until tomorrow."

"Really," Riley said, thinking that all sounded very convenient. "Did you and my mom plan all that?"

Sarah shrugged innocently. "Just kind of worked out that way."

Riley smiled and leaned down to hug her. "Well, thank you." To Buffy he said, "So I guess it's just you and me."

Buffy got up from the couch and gave Sarah a hug. "Thanks," she said with a huge smile. "It was wonderful to meet you."

"You just look after these boys up there with that woman. She's a piece of work."

"So I've been told." Buffy turned to Graham. "Thanks for being willing to work with us. I guess I'll see you on Monday."

 

More

 

<< back