Author: Alexandra Huxley
Email: alexandrahuxley@yahoo.com

They brought his body out of the rainforest slowly, barely able to carry themselves. Their cadence was marked by chimes made of stone - a gentle sound on this rough, harsh path. A request was made, a body sacrificed; a prayer whispered into the wind.

"Want bread. Want bread NOW!"

What the… The screaming, banging, and another noise - constant, blaring, mind-numbingly loud.

"Want…want…want…"

This must stop. Not screaming, shrieking. She couldn't take it any more. She fought her way up; she felt weak and her head was throbbing. More noise. "Someone make it stop," she thought. As usual, she was that someone. Groaning, she stood, barely registering the body beside her. "Why can't it just be someone else for once?" She opened the door and walked down the dimly lit hallway.

It was more than shrieking, it was inhuman. What could be making that racket and why couldn't it just let her sleep? She nudged the door open with her foot, senses alert - always - in case of attack. She peeked her head through the opening. The creature saw the movement and clambered to its feet. The screaming became less intense and she began to make out the figure against the bars.

Huh?

"Momma! Out! Out!"

O.k. Huh? Her feet propelled her across the room as her mind reeled through memories trying to place where she was; why she was here with this baby and why was it calling her…

"MOMMA! Now. Out"

Well, this was a creature she could handle -- cuddly and gurgly and no icky smells yet.

She picked up the baby and it grabbed onto her. What warmth. A softness unlike any other being she had ever held. In the distance a bell rang. Well, maybe not so distant. It rang again. The baby jumped down and ran into the hallway yelling "hal-lo!" Buffy followed it down the staircase; at least one of them knew where they were going. The doorbell. Right. O.k., she thought, I'll play.

She opened the door and was greeted with a gush of memories. Initiative. Walsh. Forrest. "Graham."

"Hey, Buffy. Nice pajamas. How ya' feeling?"

Yummy sushi pajamas - at least she remembered those. "Tired. Headache. Weird," she said as he walked in.

"Yeah, it's this damn flu that's going around. Everyone's got it."

She looked out the front door as she closed it behind him. Nothing looked familiar but she knew it was hers. The baby came running around a corner with its arm raised in greeting. "Hi Gam!"

"Hey kid. I came by to see how your mom and dad were feeling. We've been worried about them."

Mom and dad? If she was supposed to be Mom, who was playing Dad?

The baby grabbed Graham's hand and pulled him out of the room. Buffy followed them. She felt no fear, no doom, nothing bad. Confused, and a bit foggy, but no bad.

"Yeah, it's to be expected what with that high fever and all."

Oops. "Did I say that out loud?"

He laughed as he reached into the cabinet, pulling out a bowl and spoon for the baby.

"'Poon! K!"

"Special K it is."

She just sat there at the table watching him take care of the baby. He seemed to know exactly what he was doing. She'd keep playing.

"Sorry to stop by so early, but I just wanted to check up on you on my way to work. Riley looked like hell last time I saw him. You look pretty tired yourself - are you sure you're o.k.? I can take care of Eve if you want to sleep a bit more."

Riley. Sick feeling in stomach. New subject. "Graham, shouldn't I be taking care of, um, Eve?"

"Geez Buffy. I've been trained to deal with hostile demons. I think I can handle one meal with a two year old." He noticed Buffy's eyes taking everything in. She was too alert, too calculating. "You look like shit. Go lie down. I can babysit."

Nice to see you too, Graham. Fine. She was starting to feel foggy again anyway. She got up with a major head rush. Things seemed out of place but the flu does crazy things. Bed sounded good. She dragged her feet upstairs. Back to the room with the blaring noise.

Graham picked up the phone. "Hi there. It's me. Just wanted to say I'll be a bit late this morning. I'm over at Finn's and I just sent Buffy back to bed. She's not looking so good."

There was no voice on the other end, but he could hear it through the earpiece. "Good job, Miller. She's back upstairs. You're clear."

He checked to be sure. "It's just that this is so weird. She seemed a little too with it. I'm worried she'll start asking questions." He hated covert ops. Give him a hostile and he'd come out swinging, but this was another thing entirely.

"You've trained for this. It'll get easier. Finn will make it easy." Brown's voice was reassuring.

"You think she bought it? The baby and everything?" He looked over at the high chair.

"It's too soon to tell. We're working out the kinks. We'll need to wait until the meds wear off and then we'll know better. But so far, so good. Focus on the mission and you'll do fine."

He hung up the phone and sighed. Had to remember to always be talking on the phone; make it look real. Forrest had been the expert at this, but it had been over a year now and Graham had grown. He'd managed on his own and he would get through this too.

Blaring noise. It must stop. Someone must stop it now. As usual, he was that someone. He reached his arm over to shut off the alarm. Every muscle ached. It exhausted him but at least it was quiet. Blessedly quiet. He could hear his little sister babbling away off in the distance somewhere. Dad must be off in the fields by now. He should get up; the sun was already out. Dad would be furious. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, or at least tried to. Everything was moving so slowly; he could practically hear his brain tell the nerves in his leg to move into sitting position. His head was so foggy. Shake it off, get dressed, get moving. His head throbbed as he lifted it to look around the room. No, he wasn't in Huxley. And it smelled too good to be Lowell House. So where?

He looked up as the door opened. She had always been so beautiful, even in those ridiculous pajamas. More mind tricks. He tried to shake off the image. Where the hell was he?

"Riley." The vision spoke. She seemed surprised to see him here. "You doing o.k.?"

"Been better."

"Kind of like a truck hit you? Me too." She came over to him.

He lifted his hand to her forehead. She was real. Don't ask how, just go with it. He had never felt anything as soft as the strand of hair that fell across her face. His hand was shaking.

She took his hand and steadied it. "I guess this is some pretty nasty flu. Graham's taking care of Eve. It's sleepytime." She climbed into the bed and eased him down next to her.

He felt so weak and everything was clouded. He was asleep before the words were out of her mouth.

"Hey Giles! When did you get in? I didn't realize you'd be here." Willow came into the Magic Shop and gave Giles a hug.

"This morning. Just tying up a few loose ends. How are you? How are classes going?"

"O.k. I'm getting back into things." Willow waved at Anya. "I came to return these books; I guess I don't need them anymore."

Giles took the books and put them behind the counter. "Any idea where Buffy is? We were supposed to have lunch today." Although Buffy had been known to forget about lunch dates, he'd thought it would be different now that he was back in England. His visits would most likely be few and far between.

"We were at the Bronze a couple of nights ago. One of the Initiative guys was there and she said she was going to make him buy her a drink." Willow hadn't been entirely happy about it; it had been the first time they had gone out just for fun in a long time. They both needed it. And she was so not happy about Buffy drinking with Graham. The whole Initiative thing still bothered her; she loved Riley but she didn't trust his friends.

"Didn't they clear out of town after all that mess?"

"They come and go. Must still have some secret base somewhere in Sunnydale."

"What a terrible idea," Giles said. "Did she find out anything about Riley?"

Willow dropped her bag on the counter and made a sad face. "I don't know. They were still talking when I left. I gave up after about half an hour."

Anya had come over while they were talking. "And you say I'm rude."

"She wasn't being rude…" Willow had been a bit hurt, and if it had been about anything else, she would have made more of an issue of it. But Willow missed Riley and if Graham had any information, Buffy would get it out of him. "Anyway, she left a message on the machine, but I haven't talked to her since. I've been in class all day; she may be home by now."

Giles picked up the phone and dialed Buffy's number. "Dawn? Hi, it's Giles…Yes. Is she in by any chance?…Oh. She called… Oh, good…Graham? Yes, he's one of Riley's friends. Willow knows him…I'm sure she's fine. Did she leave a number?…No, I didn't think so…" He raised his eyebrows at Willow. "Yes, she's here. Do you want to speak with her?" He handed the phone to Willow and waited for her to hang up.

Willow looked up at Giles. "So she's still with Graham. I guess he had some good stuff after all." She didn't look convinced.

"What did her message say the other night?"

"Just that she probably wouldn't be home that night and not to worry."

"According to Dawn, the message today was that there's new information about Riley that she's looking into and she'd be home late. She didn't leave a number."

"I guess that sounds o.k. then. If Graham has information about Riley…" Buffy still hadn't told Willow much about Riley. One day he was just gone. Xander had been the one who finally told her what happened.

"Have you been patrolling for her?" Willow and Anya both looked down at the floor. "Well, then. I guess I can do it tonight. Anya - can you and Xander join me?" Giles was glad that Buffy had at least called in, but she should have called him too. "Call me if you hear from her tonight. I'll be at my flat; the phone's still hooked up. I'm sure she's fine, but I'll feel better when one of us actually talks to her."

This time when she woke up, things were much clearer. She felt lightheaded; like her body wasn't connected to her brain. Her head only hurt in a dull, achy kind of way. Progress. No screaming and no blaring alarm. Definitely progress. Time to patrol.

She got out of bed and went to the window. It was dark but the street lamp shed light up and down the street of darkened houses. The moon was high - a werewolf's moon. She turned from the window and looked at the room. Not a bad room. Just your typical bedroom with a hottie in the bed. No big bads under it or in the closet, though there were a couple of really scary dust bunnies.

Moving on, she went into the hall and turned towards the baby's room. She pushed the door open quietly and watched a minute as Eve's chest rose and fell. No monsters here either. What exactly was she looking for? She continued down the hallway opening doors and going through rooms. A bathroom, a closet, another bedroom. Pictures in the hallway and on the wall as she went down the stairs. A picture of Dawn with Eve as an infant. Xander and Willow and Anya and Giles getting the shop ready for its opening. Her and Riley on their wedding day. Riley, Forrest and Graham all suited up. Wait, go back. Her wedding day?

She reached out to adjust the picture, but it wasn't crooked. It just seemed wrong. "Wind Beneath My Wings" started running through her head. She couldn't have actually had them play that song, could she have? She glanced back at the pictures as she continued on. She hadn't been this out of it since she was in the hospital and seeing monsters. Of course, that monster had been real…

Downstairs now. Kitchen, same. Living room, normal. Another bathroom…laundry room… dining room. Your typical Joe Normal house. Something was off, but it wasn't the decorating. A quick look at the basement assured her that there was nothing lurking in the shadows other than a punching bag and a bunch of boxes. Everything was in its place. Enough exploring for tonight. Back to bed.

The soldier watching the monitor stood up as Graham entered the room. "Sir."

"At ease, soldier."

"Ripley, sir."

"Ripley. You're the new tech guy? Nice set-up here, huh? What's going on in there?"

"She just took a walk around the house but it looks like she's going back to bed."

"Any missing person calls?" The techies had rigged up phone messages using Buffy's vocal scans from the Initiative days. Graham didn't think they would hold off her friends for too long, but it would give them a little leeway.

"Nothing yet. We'll keep an eye out."

"Ok. Take 15. I'll cover for you." Graham sat down in front of the screen as Ripley left the room. He watched Buffy climb into the bed and take Riley's hand in hers.

Graham hadn't realized how hard it would be to see them together again like this. Things weren't supposed to turn out this way. They should be out there on the front lines together. They had been a kick ass team. Unstoppable. Those were good times - the frat house, the Bronze… Man did he miss those guys.

He hadn't seen Forrest in the end but Riley had told him enough about it that he was glad not to have that vision in the memory banks. Seeing Finn carried out of the jungle had been bad enough. Swollen, bloody, bruised, and broken. If it weren't for the embedded i.d. chip, Graham wouldn't have believed it was Riley.

Graham hadn't been able to get anything out of the men who had carried him out. Hell, they were barely alive themselves. Definitely not in any condition to be carrying Riley's body. But they refused to leave him to be buried alongside the demons. When he died, they would give him a proper burial in hallowed ground; it would only be a matter of days.

It had taken everything Graham had to convince them to let him take Finn. They had been the ones who called Graham, who told him Riley was alive. But it had been out of respect for Riley, not because they thought he could be saved. And it was only after Graham explained that the helicopter and the medics on it were Riley's only chance of survival that they had finally agreed to release the body to him. And Graham may not have been the only one who realized that it wasn't just beads of sweat dripping down his face.

The medical team had been Initiative and they brought the body back here, to the labs at Sunnydale. Graham knew how Riley felt about the government doctors but he didn't know what else to do; he just wanted Riley back. The Army, of course, had other motives. Graham wasn't sure what they were yet, but for now they were keeping Riley alive and that was enough for him. He'd take it one step at a time…

Riley had always loved this time of morning - the sky still dark but with a promise of light. His Dad always said Riley was the only kid who would happily take the first chores of the day. He didn't mind the work and it was good to be out there with Dad, but oh, how he loved the sunrise.

For some reason this sunrise felt special. He hadn't appreciated one in a long time. And he relished the quiet. This was a good quiet. No need to be alert for hostile footsteps or enemy fire. The banging in his head had finally stopped. Everything still hurt but he was starting to feel human again. He still wasn't sure where he was but he felt safe. Something wasn't right but he trusted his instincts enough to tell him when he was in danger and there didn't seem to be any immediate threat.

He shifted his head and saw her lying there. She was really here in his bed holding his hand. So it wasn't just a dream.

It was an effort to move. Every muscle screamed as he traced the tips of his fingers down her shoulder, across the curve of her breast, down her side. Watched her react to his touch. The pain became more bearable. He was still burning up inside, but at least some of the fire was friendly. He wanted more - ached for it. But no. Not yet.

His eyes scanned the room. In the gray light he could make out the furniture. He saw his sweatshirt draped over the back of a chair. Combat boots sitting in the corner behind the t.v.; vitamins on the bedside table; nerf hoop hanging on the closet door. These were definitely his things, so it must be his room, but he had no memory of being here before.

What was his last conscious memory? Nothing came to the surface. He had vague memories of battles and demons and stakes and vampires, but details were out of reach. He remembered he was military. There, that was something. And, Buffy. He most definitely remembered Buffy. But as beautiful as some of those memories were, there was something he couldn't name. Something just beyond reach that unsettled him. He shook it off. Whatever it was, she was here now; he'd hold on to that.

The sun was beginning to peek in through the window. He knew he should do something to get his body moving - get up, go for a run, but just wracking his brain had exhausted him. Maybe that was enough for now. Or almost enough. He needed to touch her again. He reached out to Buffy and pulled her into his arms. He fell asleep holding her.

"Almost ready, Miller. We're just waiting for Dr. Green and then we can proceed."

Graham nodded and got into position. In theory, this had seemed a good idea, but standing there and talking to Buffy had been so real. He was nervous about talking to Riley. Had to put the image of Riley's body out of his head or he wouldn't be able to do it. He was having major misgivings. This was turning out to be much more real - much harder - than he had expected. Who were they - hell, who was he - to play God. He should have let Finn die in the jungle. Die a hero and rest in peace.

Thinking too much, too late. Focus. It had made such sense to him then. Had been so simple to put in motion. Riley may have been accused of treason by some when the Initiative went down, but any doubts people had had been erased ten-fold after Belize. "High risk, low pay and seriously messy," they had said. No guarantee of making it back. But when Riley came out on the other end, nobody could say they were surprised. His vital signs had been non-existent when they got him to the medvac but the Army sent the best doctors in when they heard who it was and somehow they managed to keep him alive. He had been in the jungle for five months and then spent the next seven on a hospital bed. The broken bones had healed and his scars were no longer angry red marks, but the doctors still couldn't bring him back. The only explanation they could give was that his body was willing but his spirit was gone.

Graham remembered being called to come back to Sunnydale. He had sat at a table with Ellis and Green next to him and three doctors on the other side and had listened to hours of clinical reports about Riley's condition. After three months, everything was working the way it should but they were still losing him. They needed something…a spark.

Buffy.

Graham had thought of her on occasion. He had always liked her; had liked Riley around her. But things got too dark and Riley was self-destructing. Graham couldn't let it happen and he had pushed Riley to come back. Semper fi, buddy, semper fi. But it had already been too late and once they got to the jungle it was clear that the Iowa farm boy had been left far behind. The destruction had already begun and it was a different Riley who stepped off the transport. Hard and cold. Like a vampire, except fighting for the right side.

Buffy had done that. At times Graham thought Forrest had been right. Too much Slayer, not enough soldier. But Graham knew why Riley's spirit hadn't been fighting to live; it was already gone. Graham had seen it die the night they left. He had seen Riley's eyes go cold as they lifted. And the time never seemed right to tell Riley that he had seen her there. She had come.

And so, when they sat Graham down, all these months later, and told him what was needed, he had known what had to be done.

They didn't want her. Many still blamed her and her band of "freaks" for destroying the Initiative and turning Riley. But Graham reminded them again that she had saved so many that night, that she had called them when it was necessary, that she would come through. The compromise was to use her but to control her. And the only way to do that, as they had learned the hard way, was to neutralize her.

He had hated doing it. As he sat there each night in the Bronze, waiting for her to show, he had to remind himself that it was for Riley. He tried to convince himself that Buffy would be doing the same thing if she were in his place, but he knew it wasn't true. And when she finally noticed him sitting there, he almost walked out the door. But he had come too far. So he tossed back his shot and smiled at her and bought her some drinks and answered her questions as best he could. It took awhile for the drugs to work, but when they finally did he watched her fall asleep in his arms. And then he turned her over to the whitecoats and got himself smashed.

"Miller! Come back to us. Time to move."

Play ball.

Riley woke up an hour later with Buffy still in his arms. He inhaled deeply and drank in her scent. The smell was so sweet, like the air after spring's first rainfall. He didn't want to let go of her but it was time to get his body moving again. He needed to be up.

He eased out of bed and tentatively stretched his arms over his head. He wouldn't be running any marathons, but maybe he could try a quick jog. Sweatpants, socks, sneakers, t-shirt. He opened the door and walked into the hallway. He turned into the next room to get the baby.

Get the baby?

"Dad-dee!"

He stopped in the doorway. This wasn't right. Something didn't make sense.

"Dad-dee! Run now?"

He walked over and picked her up out of the crib.

"Di-per!"

Umm, o.k. He brought her to the changing table. Demon goo had nothing over a nasty diaper. But his Mom hadn't raised any slackers. It may have been Dad's job to teach them how to run a farm, but Mom thought they should all know how to run a house. A man could change a diaper just as easily as a woman.

"Ouch!" If a baby's kick could sting like that then he definitely wasn't back to normal yet. "O.k. kid; we're done." He put her down and she ran out the door. He followed her down the stairs and she led him to a stroller in the back hall. "Alright. Let's suit up." He put her sweatshirt and hat on and strapped her in. He maneuvered out the back door as a car pulled up in front of the driveway. Graham stepped out.

"You're looking better," said Graham.

"Yeah. It's good to be back in the land of the living again," said Riley.

Graham's smile faltered. If only you knew. "You think you're up to a run?"

"Gotta start somewhere."

"Can we talk?"

Riley wasn't happy Graham was here, but he couldn't figure out why. "Yeah, if you want to run." He started slowly, ignoring the signals his body was sending with every step. Think about something else. "So talk."

"I just wanted to see how you're feeling. A lot of the guys are out sick, but you got it worse than anyone."

Riley looked at Graham. Major déjà vu. "You need something from me?"

Riley was being a little more direct than Graham had hoped, but at least he didn't seem as focused as Buffy had in the kitchen the previous morning. Keep it together, Graham, you can do this. "We've got some stuff we need taken care of. I came by to see if you were up to it yet."

Riley looked down at Eve in the stroller. He looked around at the perfectly groomed lawns. They seemed out of place. He felt his tension building. "Very convincing."

What? Graham kept his eyes on the road ahead of him. That hadn't been the answer he was expecting. "Hey there, maybe your fever was a bit higher than I thought. You sure you're o.k.?"

"No good, Graham." Wrong answer.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Riley was supposed to be the easy one. All that military training should have kicked in by now. "What's going on, man?"

Riley stopped running and turned his head. Two men were standing there. Graham was taking him somewhere he didn't want to go. "You sure you got the fix for it?"

Graham was totally confused. This conversation was making no sense. He looked up just in time to catch the movement and avoid the punch coming at him. "Riley!"

Riley's eyes were darting around him. "Where'd they go? Where did those guys go?"

What was he talking about? "Riley!" Riley's eyes wouldn't focus. He wasn't there. Graham grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him against a tree. "Riley! Agent Finn!"

Riley tried to focus, calm down. He felt a rage from somewhere deep inside. Graham was still holding him back. Deep breath. Riley held his hands up. "We're good." Graham let go and Riley bent over, still leaning against the tree and resting his hands on his knees. He was trying to catch his breath. "We're good." He straightened up, walked back to Eve's stroller and started running again. Graham waited a minute and then followed him.

They ran in silence for awhile before Riley finally spoke. "Sorry. I was out of line. I guess I've been cooped up for a little too long. Makes me crazed."

Graham's mind was reeling. It was hard enough to be here with Riley as though everything were normal. The attack had taken him completely off guard. "Apology accepted." Graham looked at Riley. "You o.k.?"

Riley's laugh sounded bitter. He looked at Eve; thought of Buffy at home in his bed. "My life is perfect. Why wouldn't I be o.k.?"

"What the hell was that?!" Graham slammed open the door as he entered the conference room. "What the HELL just happened?"

"We don't know. We screwed up somewhere. We're working on it," Green said.

"No shit you screwed up." Graham was fuming.

"Easy, Miller. Yelling isn't going to get a damn thing done," Ellis said as he watched Graham and the Doctor glare at each other across the table. Agents Brown and Ripley looked on. "We've put a lot into this operation and we are not going to let it fall apart. So, Doc, what happened?"

"The memory plant didn't take."

"English, please." Graham was still seething.

"We've been able to suppress Buffy's memories from the past year and begin replacing them with five years' worth of new ones. It seems to be working on her. But it looks like Riley has rejected the new memories. We don't know why. We thought that the coma would work in our favor, that his brain would just accept the orders we're giving it. But maybe the opposite is true. Maybe his brain is so focused on keeping the body alive that it's not letting anything else in. Or maybe we completely misjudged his emotional state before he left for Belize. Those are the best theories I can give. There's no research to fall back on."

"Can you fix it?" Ellis asked.

"We think so. We'll know within the next hour. So far he seems to have accepted the house, the baby, Buffy's presence - he may have questions, but he hasn't rejected everything. That's a good sign." He turned back to Graham. "Did something like that ever happen? Did he ever attack you like that?"

That day on the basketball court. The day of Riley's surgery. "Yes. Right before the doctor fixed his heart."

"Within a few hours?"

Graham nodded.

"And that's important because…?" asked Brown.

Green responded, "It's the last thing we wanted them to remember - right before things went bad between them. We picked a point when they were still happy together - give them something to build on. The new memories we implanted bring them forward from that point. Once they accept the implants, we ease back on the suppression levels and let events from the last year return."

Ellis nodded. "So we can learn more about Belize."

"Right."

"How do the memories return?"

"It's not actually returning; the memories are still there, but they're deeply buried. They may have a vague recollection of something happening but it would be closer to a déjà vu than a memory. Something would have to remind them of a particular event before they can recall it; and even then, it wouldn't be entirely clear."

Graham said, "So when I showed up…"

"Something reminded him of that conversation, maybe something you said or even just a look. That plus the fact that there was no buffer because of the failed implant? To him it was as though no time had elapsed since that moment."

Graham shook his head angrily. "Brilliant. Fucking brilliant."

"Shut it, Miller." Emotions were too high for Ellis' blood. "Miller, Brown, Ripley - you are dismissed. Get some breakfast. Report back in an hour. We'll come at this again later."

Graham started to say something but thought better of it. The Major was right. He was way too charged to get anything accomplished right now. He needed a clear head. "Later."

After they had gone, Ellis and Green glared at each other. Green spoke first. "You need to keep him under control or this isn't going to work."

"Graham is a good soldier. He held his own in an unbelievable situation. One that should never have happened," said Ellis.

"I expect a bit more from the Initiative men…"

"And you're getting it. But this is a major mind fuck. He's taking punches from a dead man."

"He's been training for this for months; he should be handling it better."

"He's been training on the virtual reality program for months. He's been interacting with sales clerks and crossing guards, getting a feel for the machine. That doesn't exactly prepare him for seeing his friend on life support one minute and then putting on a suit and going out for a run together the next. Cut him a break."

"Fine. But you do the same for my men. We're in totally uncharted territory. They're working around the clock to create an alternate reality. We've never done anything like this before. No one has. We have no idea how this is going to work; I'm just hoping to keep Finn and the girl alive long enough to get this done."

"Are their lives really in danger?"

Green took his time responding to Ellis' question. "I honestly don't know. We lost some sub-terrestials in some of our earlier experiments, but we had a very limited understanding of their physiology. Physically, Riley and Buffy should be fine, but I don't know how their brains will react. We're playing with their minds, suppressing some memories, creating others. I'm not expecting any long-term effects, but there are no guarantees, especially given Riley's medical history. My bigger concern is how long the implanted memories will last. Once Finn starts focusing on Belize, his brain may start rejecting anything we've inserted. If he realizes that none of this is real? I just can't predict how he'll respond and what that will mean." He took off his glasses. "This is the first time we've done this with human subjects; everything is theory. I wish I could be more definite, but I'm afraid that's the best I can do."

"So what happens next?"

"Despite these glitches, it's going as well as we could hope. Buffy and Riley can each function independently within the program and interact with Graham, an outsider. The next test is how they relate to each other - whether or not they can have a sustained conversation through this medium. If they can do that, we're good to go. Other than that, you tell me."

"My orders are to find out about those last two months in Belize: how they survived as long as they did, how they destroyed the caves, how Finn made it out of the jungle. There's some question if Finn had assistance -- I've heard rumors about vampires, werewolves, other sub-t's. I don't know what I believe, but that's what we're here to find out. That's our main focus anyway. The General also wants to know more about Summers. She's apparently got some kind of super powers." Green looked at Ellis in disbelief. "I know, I know. But Graham and some of the others have seen it firsthand and it's documented in Walsh's logs. As long as we have her hooked up to these machines, we need to get every reading we can."

"Where does Miller fit in?"

"He was in Belize; he pulled Riley in on the mission. Riley trusts him. I trust him. He'll be our voice in there, getting Finn to tell us what we want to know."

"How much does he know about this project?"

"He knows it's about Belize, but beyond that not much. What did you tell him when you brought him in a few months ago?"

"Just that Riley's physical recovery had been excellent but that his brain wasn't responding. That the virtual reality program may be a way to connect but we'd need something Finn felt strongly about to make it work. Miller helped us with the development of the back end of the program. He wanted to be up front with Summers but we didn't think that would be a good idea."

"I agree," Ellis said, "but we'll need to debrief him soon. How much time do you think we have?"

"Once Finn actually starts focusing on Belize? Completely unknown. I'd expect that as long as he's thinking about Belize we'll be fine. But once it's done and his brain is free to think about where he is? It could be hours; a couple of days at the most. Once the memories start coming back we'll start adjusting the sedation levels. Then we'll hope that Graham was right; that having Buffy back in his life will be enough to jump start Finn's brain and bring him back to us."

"And Buffy? How long before she stops accepting this whole set-up?"

"It's a little different with her. We're not mining her brain for information, so there's no reason for her to question anything. I don't think we need to worry about her."

The sun was shining in the window and making it too hot under the covers. Her headache was finally gone. She stretched a bit and sat up. Everything seemed to be working right. She could hear voices down in the kitchen. Happy voices. She got up to join them.

As she came into the room, she saw Riley on his hands and knees disappearing around the corner of the center island. Eve came running around the other side, giggling hysterically. She was carrying a little plastic bowl and Cheerios were going everywhere. "Da-dee, da-dee, no!" she squealed as she ran. His face appeared. His eyes were sparkling and he was reaching out to tickle her when he saw Buffy and stopped short.

He sat up, leaning his back against the cabinet door. "Mornin'." He sounded hesitant.

"Hi there." She had missed his smile. It had been so long since she had seen it. Well, maybe just a few weeks since they had both been so sick, but it had seemed like much longer. "How are you feeling?"

"Not totally better yet, but definitely human again. And hungry."

"Breakfast I can do."

Buffy went to the refrigerator and pulled out eggs and milk. Riley stood up, picked up Eve and put her in the high chair. "You don't have to do that. I was about to start but Eve…she's really cute." He was still unsettled from earlier, but seeing Buffy helped. He came over to her and put his arms around her, put his mouth to her neck.

"Mmmmm." She turned to him. "More kisses."

His lips brushed her mouth and chills ran down her spine. He pulled back so he could see her face.

"Don't stop," she murmured and put her head to his chest.

He put his hands in her hair and tugged gently. "Let me look at you."

She raised her eyes to his. "Why so serious? Is something wrong?" Did he sense it too? That something about this picture was off?

He put his finger to her lips to quiet her and just watched her for a moment. He didn't belong here in this kitchen. With Buffy. "I can't explain it… I don't know… I almost hit Graham this morning…I…I guess I'm still a little out of it." He looked around the room, cataloging every object. His eyes came to rest on Eve. "Can you believe she's ours?"

Buffy's gaze followed his. Eve was taking the Cheerios out of her bowl and putting them into her cup. "Isn't that a bit crazy?" she asked.

"I guess we can make magic together after all," he replied.

"You were the only one who ever doubted it." She could feel him tense.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. She wasn't going to make him feel like that again. "Buffy, don't. Just…" Not now. Not here in this odd little paradise. He didn't know why he was here but he accepted this gift, with whatever strings were attached. "Just savor this moment. Let us just be."

"Much better," Graham muttered.

"See? We can do something right," Dr. Green said from behind him.

Graham turned from the monitor and faced Ellis across the table. "What now?"

"Green?"

"Well, now that we know that they can talk to each other -- touch each other -- we can get to work. Our job is to control the environment and start to provide triggers to release Finn's memories. Graham, you'll go in bringing a laptop. Tell him to report as much about Belize as possible. We don't know how much time we'll have to do this; so far their brains are functioning normally but there's too much we don't know."

Ellis took over. "We want to know more about the demons, the caves. How they were able to get to the caves in the first place. Hell, how Finn managed to make it out of the jungle. Something weird went on after your team left Belize and we need to know what it was."

So that was it. Graham had known that they would have pulled the plug on Riley by now if there weren't something else they needed, but he hadn't been sure what it was. It made perfect sense, of course. He had heard things among the men when he returned for Riley. That they fought alongside vampires; that vampires kept Riley alive. Graham hadn't really paid attention, his focus had been on Riley, but now he wondered if it could have been true.

Graham knew there was still talk about Finn - with renewed respect after Belize, but there were definitely still questions. Finn's body had been studied thoroughly for seven months; they knew he was clean. But some people said that no human could survive those injuries -- he must be one of them. The Undead. Graham wouldn't hear it - couldn't believe that of Riley; not him. Not even after all that had happened. He may have been consorting with the enemy, but the real Riley Finn was still in there. Somewhere. "So what do I need to know?"

One of Green's assistants passed Graham a file, as Green spoke. "They know everything through Riley's heart attack. It should seem to them as if that happened five years ago but the anger you saw appears to be a reflection of whatever he was feeling at that time."

"You said that yesterday. Tell me something new."

"We're slowly implanting the created memories. We've just finished with the big ones - their wedding, buying their house, Eve's birth - and are starting on the day to day stuff."

"How do they know who Eve is? Or where the kitchen is, for that matter?"

"It's like an equation. We create certain truths. 'X' equals Eve; 'Y' equals the house. They're implanted in a different part of the brain and are just part of who Buffy and Riley are in this reality. They are just constructs that can be manipulated at our will."

"Meaning you could change the color of the house?"

"Right, or Eve can throw a tantrum if things are getting a little out of control."

"And the memories you created?"

"They're like mini-movies. Created digitally and inserted carefully. We're going slowly so we don't overstress their systems. It's all in that file."

"And my job?"

"You're the emcee. You gauge how they're reacting to each other. You make sure he does the report; try to elicit as much about Belize as you can. At a certain point, the memories will start to flow freely. The question mark is how well integrated these will be with the stuff we've put there. They'll realize Riley left, but they'll have the new memories about subsequent events that should supercede the old ones."

"What about reality?"

"We haven't changed anything that's happened in the last year, we've just added a few years and an ending to the story."

"How do you know about what's happened in Buffy's life since she left?"

"She's not exactly low-profile. We've been able to piece enough together to make it workable."

"O.k. then. Let's roll."

"Oh, poosh." Willow frowned as she let the powder sift through her fingers.

"Should you be doing that?"

Willow looked up at Xander guiltily. "It's not magic. Technically."

"Could have fooled me."

"I'm just trying to find Buffy's aura. I'm getting worried."

"Awww, c'mon. So she met some guy…" Whoever it was had to be better than Spike.

"It's not the guy I'm worried about, it's his friends. I just don't trust those commando guys."

"Hold on." Xander dropped into the chair next to her. "Commando guys? Anya didn't tell me Buffy went off with a commando guy. That is so not good." He waved his hands in the air. "By all means, poof away."

"Shhh!" Willow closed her eyes and threw the powder into the air above the candle.

Anya and Giles came down the stairs. Anya said, "you're not supposed to be doing that. Buffy would be mad."

Willow opened her eyes. "Would you mind? I don't know what else to do." She looked at the powder floating above the flame. "Well, that's a little weird."

"What do you see?" Xander couldn't see anything other than smoke and dust.

"I think she's sleeping." She didn't sound convinced.

"O.k. And?"

"Well, her aura seems at peace. Kind of tight, but calm and peaceful."

"At peace in a dead kind of way? Or in a 'oooo, oooo, keep it coming big boy' kind of way?"

"Xander!" Giles looked at him with exasperation.

Willow looked up at the others. "In a happy, dreamy kind of way."

"Is she asleep?" Buffy asked Riley as he came into the living room.

"I think so. I put her down and she seemed to want me to leave her alone."

Buffy was sitting on the floor putting Eve's teddy bears into the basket. "Keeping up with a two year old is tough even for a Slayer."

"Retired Slayer."

"Yeah, I guess that's right. How did I get away with that?"

"Because you wanted to make babies with a battered army guy."

"No, really. Isn't that weird that Travers just let me go like that?"

"Hmmm. Let me think. Old guy who's been doing this forever meets young Slayer who makes his life hell for five years? I'm thinking maybe they welcomed the chance to groom a nice, new puppy-dog Slayer."

Buffy looked at Riley suspiciously then glanced down quickly as his gaze met hers. Could he be in on this, whatever this was? Not Riley; not sweet Riley. Besides, he may have heard the stories about the Council, but he didn't know Quenten Travers. He didn't understand what Travers was capable of. The only way to retire from being a Slayer was to be, well, slain; the Council took that way seriously.

An image from her wedding appeared in her brain: her and Willow talking about babies. They had been joking about soccer moms vs slayer moms when Giles had broken in and said, "Babies or Slayer? Pick one." As if it were that easy.

In retrospect, it made no sense. Why wouldn't Giles have told her that there was a way out? Maybe not in the beginning, but after they had been through so much together? After the Council fired him? Wouldn't he have said something? And why would the Council make it so painless? They had put her through so many tests. Surely it wasn't just a matter of a "+" on a pink stick.

For all she knew this whole thing was a test. The Council rigging up some alternate reality to see if she was worthy of retirement. But that wasn't quite how they worked. They'd be in her face, front and center. And Riley could never go along with that.

Could he?

She looked up to find Riley watching her intently from the doorway. His smile came quickly, but didn't quite reach his eyes. They were finally alone together for the first time that day. This wasn't her imagination; she couldn't keep ignoring the tension between them. She pushed herself up from the floor.

"So. You want to do something?" She walked over to where he was standing and leaned her shoulder against the wall. She was afraid to reach out to him. This was so not like her.

Riley was still angry and he couldn't figure out if it had to do with Buffy or if he was just at odds with the universe today. He wasn't normally quite so suspicious but he did think Graham and Buffy were both holding something back. It was almost as if something had happened and they were waiting for him to figure out what it was. He wanted to pull her to him but he hesitated. "I don't know. I'm sure we could think of something."

What was his deal today? She was getting irritated. Fine, Riley; you want to fight? "Did I do something to piss you…" The rest of her words were silenced as his lips were on hers. They were rough and passionate. He pushed her against the wall and held her there as he pressed against her. This was not nice guy Riley; this was his darker side. One she hadn't seen in awhile. She liked it when Commando Finn came out to play. She wanted more. She put her arms around his neck and looked up at him. The look in his eyes was one she remembered from back when the Initiative was still in business - determined, take no prisoners.

He grabbed her shoulders as her hands moved to the small of his back and pulled at his shirt. She desperately wanted to feel him, taste him. He pulled his shirt off as she kissed the scar on his chest. He ran his hands up underneath her tank top and pushed it up over her head. Then he reached his hands down to her waist and lifted her to him so that his mouth was at her neck moving down between her breasts and…

They both jumped at the knock on the door. "What?" he yelled to whoever it was. He eased her down slowly, enjoying the feeling of her body moving down his.

"Maybe they'll go away if we ignore them."

"Too late." He pulled his shirt back on. He grabbed her chin and leaned down to kiss her once more before leaving to answer the knock on the door.

She reached to grab her top off the floor and took a few deep breaths. Buffy ran her hand through her hair. She tasted blood in her mouth. She couldn't remember the last time he had kissed her like that. Had he ever kissed her like that? Hard and hungry.

"Hey, Buffy. Sorry if I came at a bad time." Graham came into the room.

Riley followed him in and sat on the edge of the couch. He folded his arms against his chest. "You have a reason for being here?" The words had a harsh edge. The rage had eased a little, but not totally.

Graham ignored Riley's tone. "You may be out on sick leave, but the rest of us have to earn a living. I've brought some work home for you - you have a minute?" He reached into his bag and pulled out a laptop and some papers. One look at Buffy told him she had no intention of leaving the room.

Riley took the file from Graham. He was having a hard enough time remembering where he worked, let alone what project he was in the middle of. He glanced through the papers and closed his eyes to the invading visions.

Graham said, "We're still working on a history of the Belize mission. The new training program is almost finished but we need you to fill out some details."

Riley vaguely remembered sitting around some table and talking about the demons in the jungle. His training kicked in - he was used to following orders. "What am I supposed to be doing with this stuff?"

"I've given them a basic outline of the first three months, but we'll need you to flesh it out, and I don't know what happened after I left. You're the only one who was in the caves when the nest went down. We need you to provide those details. We thought you might not be feeling up to anything too physical yet…" Graham paused. He could have sworn he saw Buffy blush. "…but this will help us get moving again."

"I think I can manage that." Riley was still paging through the file. They weren't kidding. It was pretty thin on details. "I'll get this taken care of as soon as I can. You want to stay for dinner?"

Now that was more like the Riley he knew, Graham thought. "No, that's o.k. I've got to get back to the Base. We've got some new recruits coming in and I've got some butt to kick."

Buffy stood up to walk him out; she returned as Riley was putting the file aside. She walked over to him and put her hands around his neck. "So where were we?"

Riley pulled away. His mind was elsewhere. "I should get to work."

That was her line.

Graham lifted the headpiece up over his head and stepped out of the suit. He walked over to where the other men were watching the monitors. It was odd to be watching the room he had just left, a little creepy even. "So?"

"Heart rate was up a bit; definite increased brain activity. Buffy's doing something right."

"Is he actually feeling something?"

"We think the brain will register whatever it perceives to be real. If he had punched you earlier, his brain would have made the connection that his hand should hurt. When they kissed, their brains both reacted as though it were really happening."

"And the headaches they keep talking about?"

"Mostly a result of the sedatives being adjusted. Riley's feeling more pain because he hasn't moved in a long time. Most people don't run two miles the same day they wake up from a seven month coma. So far, his brain is reacting in the way we had hoped. This may work after all."

Graham relaxed a bit. This whole virtual reality thing was getting easier. "So now we watch?"

Green nodded, "We'll see what happens for the rest of the day. Hopefully he'll start working soon. Everything he types into the computer should come through on this monitor. We've programmed it to feed directly into the data banks. The whole program is being saved, so anything that happens will be recorded as well. As far as I can tell, our bases are covered."

"What do you mean by 'happy, dreamy kind of way'?" Giles was trying to make sense of what Willow had just said but it didn't seem like Willow could figure it out either.

"I don't know. She's alive. And I don't think she's lying on some cold, dank floor surrounded by monsters but beyond that I'm not really sure."

"What exactly did you see?"

Willow tried to concentrate. It hadn't been what she expected and she was having a hard time interpreting. "Well, she seemed to be happy but deeply asleep. But tense too." No, that didn't make sense.

"Sounds like someone's had a night of hanky panky with someone she should not be hanky-pankying with." Xander was pacing. He was having a hard time understanding what Buffy was thinking these days.

Giles had been watching Xander, but he turned back to Willow and asked, "Any theories?"

"I've been wracking my brain but so far Xander's explanation is as good as anything I've come up with. But she said it was about Riley; she said she was helping. Why would she be sleeping?"

Xander stopped pacing. "Maybe she found him. Maybe she was hanky-pankying with the right commando."

Willow shook her head. "No way. No way she wouldn't tell us if Riley was o.k. At least not for two whole days."

"Have you seen Graham around anywhere?" asked Giles.

"No, but he was in the Bronze a few nights last week so maybe he'll go back there."

Anya clapped her hands. "Are we going on a stakeout? We always have excellent sex after stakeouts."

They all rolled their eyes. Giles said, "I guess the main thing for now is that she doesn't seem to be in immediate danger. That's a start." He didn't want to think what the Council would say. He was aware of at least one incidence of the Council terminating the Slayer after she had become ineffective. The only way to get a new Slayer was if the old one died. If circumstance didn't do it to her, they would. But this line of thought wouldn't get them anywhere. They needed to find her first. "I don't suppose anyone's asked Spike…?" Giles raised his eyebrows and looked at the rest of the group. When they shook their heads, Giles said, "I'll try and track him down. In the meantime, why don't you check out the Bronze. We'll give her one more night. If you don't see either her or Graham then we'll have to figure something else out."

Giles waited until they left and Anya was with a customer before going into the back room. He picked up the phone and dialed a number. He had very mixed feelings about this but it needed to be done. A voice answered on the other end of the line. Giles took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "There's something you need to know."

Riley watched through the window as Buffy took the wooden stake and rammed it into the ground as Eve played on her swing set. He smiled to himself; you could take the girl out of the Slayer but you couldn't take the Slayer out of the girl. Even watching her string up the tomato plants electrified him. She touched his soul. But she doesn't love me.

The words came back to him suddenly. He heard them so clearly, as though he had spoken them again. He hadn't meant to say it. Hadn't wanted to see that look in Xander's eyes. Hadn't wanted to acknowledge what his gut had been telling him. But once he spoke the words, they became truth.

From that moment he could see her pulling away from him. She hadn't needed him. Had never needed him. Not the way he needed her.

He might have been o.k. if it hadn't been for his heart. But for those last few weeks he had been invincible. Untouchable. His mind and body on another plane. The same dimension Buffy and Angel and Faith and Spike traveled in. No regular humans allowed.

Buffy and Graham had pushed him to see the doctor. They thought they were helping him but they didn't understand that he wanted to fly. He wanted to keep pushing those limits until he broke through to some other realm. If it killed him? There wasn't much left to lose anyway.

It was ironic that the anger and desperation that made him want to die - the things that made him seek out his "whores," made him climb into that helicopter; those were the same things that kept him alive all those months in the jungle. They made him fearless…crazed. He had actually craved the hand-to-hand combat. Tearing the demons to shreds, tasting his own blood - this was the fuel that kept him going.

Open the laptop. Start typing.

The Army men had been suspicious - and maybe a little afraid - of him. He hadn't cared - not as long as they followed orders. After a few weeks, they seemed to accept him; after a couple months, some of them even looked up to him. By the time of the revolt, they had become brothers, in the way only men who faced death together could be. Which made it that much easier for Riley to take full advantage of the opportunity to get rid of them - he didn't want them around any more. They didn't deserve to be on this suicide mission. He made sure they got out and hoped that Graham could keep them alive long enough to get back home.

It was after they left that the vampires came out into the open. The others had known that these reinforcements weren't human, but they hadn't cared. They had already visited their own private hell and were no longer afraid of dying. They just wanted to know if you wanted them dead. If you did, then you were the enemy. If not, pick up a weapon and do what you can.

He had started to type but stopped mid-sentence. Sorry guys, that was not need to know information. That promise had been sealed in blood.

Buffy and Eve came in an hour later to find Riley still typing. "Well that looks pretty interesting." Buffy glanced at what he was writing and then took Eve to the sink and they started washing their hands.

"Not nearly as interesting as staking tomatoes."

"Are you criticizing my gardening skills?"

"Hell, no. I'm just sitting here earning my paycheck and waiting for my dinner, woman." He ducked to avoid the dishtowel coming at his head. "You were staking those tomatoes with quite a lot of enthusiasm. Feeling a little nostalgic?"

"I couldn't begin to tell you how I'm feeling right now. Singing 'Wheels on the Bus' a hundred times in a row does something to your head. Definitely makes you want to stake something."

She started to fill a pot up with water. No fair. She was stuck playing house while Riley was doing the fun Army stuff. Well, she supposed that was the compromise she had made. She wondered about what the new Slayer was like. She still felt the weight of the world on her shoulders but figured that feeling would come and go. And all the magazines that she now had time to read said it was normal to feel this way about not going back to work. Of course, for most people work wasn't slaying vamps, but the general concept was the same.

Eve had gone into the Living Room and come back with a book in her hands. She was standing in front of Riley and saying "lap." Buffy watched him pick Eve up and start to read about hippopotamuses. Hippopotami? Whatever. Watching Riley with their daughter brought about a peace inside her, a depth of feeling she hadn't known existed.

Could this really be her family? She had dreamed of a life like this - twice in fact - but she hadn't believed it could happen for her. She was really good at finding true love but not so good at making it stick. Not with Angel - he left because this dream was an impossible one. And not with Riley - he left because - how had Xander put it? She treated Riley like the rebound guy when he's the one that comes around once in a lifetime.

Except that he didn't. He came around twice. How exactly did that happen? How was it that Riley had come back to her? Maybe this wasn't a Council test - maybe it was a dream; a nice dream, but one that didn't make sense. She wondered whether she was just having a bad day or if the whole world around her had been created by some demon who was going to wait until she was finally happy and then take it all away.

Or maybe this was just a normal day and all this wiggy-ness was thanks to Graham's visit, she thought as she dumped the spaghetti in the boiling water. Dredging up all the Belize stuff brought them back to the bad times. She had been a mess when Riley came back; after his leaving and Dawn and her mother's death and, well, her own… quite a year. The first time she saw him had been tough. So many things to say but the emotions were too raw to manage actual conversation. He had shown up at her front door with a bunch of white lilies and condolences about her mother. Dawn had had to invite him in and close the door because Buffy was so stunned. It had been a year since he left and she had never expected to see him again.

They sat there in her Living Room for hours but she couldn't remember a thing they had said. They had deliberately not talked about his leaving and in the years since then he still hadn't talked much about the mission he left her for.

She could remember the engagement and the wedding as though they had just happened. But when she tried to remember how they got beyond that first day in her house, there was nothing. How could she not remember that? Every moment from the day Riley left her was crystal clear, but there was nothing from when he came back. Why would she shut that out and not the entire year? That painful, brutal, soul-searing heartache of a year? And it was five years ago - why did she still feel so raw?

It was way deep down, but no matter how hard she tried to focus on Riley playing with Eve and staking tomatoes and being happy little Harriet, the pain was there deep in her gut, tearing a hole from the inside out.

An hour's worth of Riley's typing had given them some good stuff, rounding out what they had learned from the others. Ellis actually wished he had had the chance to work with Finn for longer; he was a damn good soldier. "Miller - your very own copy. Hot off the presses."

"Thanks." Graham scanned the printout Ellis had just handed him. Most of what Riley had written covered the months during which Graham was still there. He had tried to forget about what he had seen, but the images were burned on his brain.

They had been sent in because something nasty was tearing apart missionaries in the jungle. Twenty Army guys went in; goal: destroy the demon nest and stop these things from breeding. Graham, Riley, Taggert, and Johnson were all Initiative men; the rest were on their first mission out of Special Ops.

It had taken them over a week to get to the village in the Cayo district where the missionaries had been. It was pouring; a driving, pounding, godawful rain that obliterated all the other senses. Deafeningly loud. Coming at your face so hard that you could barely open your eyes to see.

He had been bringing up the rear of the line, trying to keep the man ahead of him in sight. The rain had stopped abruptly. For a moment there was silence; but then they heard a horrible sound. Wailing. Keening. Graham had rushed forward when he heard it. He stopped short as he realized what it was; he almost fell over the man kneeling on the ground.

The man was clutching a woman's arm. The hand was still attached. Graham remembered thinking the rings were the most beautiful he had ever seen. He fixated on the silver jewelry, trying to ignore the broken bones in her fingers and the muscles and nerves hanging from the socket where her shoulder should have been.

The scene replayed in Graham's mind in slow motion: twenty men standing stock still amidst unbelievable carnage. The bodies were unidentifiable, if you could even call them bodies: arms, legs, torsos. The heads were mostly those of women and old men. The ground was slick with blood; the stench unbearable. Graham couldn't remember how long they stood there. Through a daze, Graham heard Riley issuing orders. No one moved; they were still in shock. When Riley fired a shot into the air to get their attention, the man stopped screaming. He hadn't registered their presence before, but once he did, he saw them as the enemy. He charged at Riley with flailing arms and unseeing eyes.

Graham knew that Riley could have easily stopped the man but he just stood there and let the man beat on him until there was nothing left but grief. Graham could still picture the image of Riley towering over this man, holding the shaking body until the tears had stopped.

They had burned the bodies so that the smell wouldn't attract animals. The man's name was Marcial. He sat staring out into the forest while they did this. When they were done, he led them away from the village and into the trees. After a few hours, they could see a group of men ahead of them, sitting around a campfire. Riley ordered his soldiers to set up camp for the night as he and Graham followed Marcial to the fire. They kept their distance as the twelve men learned they would not be seeing their families again; waited until Marcial called for them.

Language was a problem. Though in the cities English was spoken fluently, here, deep in the rainforest, the Spanish dialect was hard to understand. Only because Professor Walsh had insisted that the Initiative training include intensive language instruction, had Riley and Graham been able to understand the basics of what had happened: the village had been attacked in the middle of the night and the children were taken. The strongest men set out to find them. When they couldn't, they retreated to this camp that was used as a base when hunting and sent Marcial back to give word of what was happening. Riley and Graham knew the rest.

Graham had argued with Riley about whether to let the villagers join their team. Graham had been adamantly against it: they had no training, no discipline. Their searing grief was what was making them want to lash out. How could they possibly help slay demons? They were just normal men. But Riley pulled rank.

"When you lose everything you may as well be dead. And once you come that far, you just try and fight the hate. They'll be useful." Riley's voice had been matter-of-fact, but his words chilled Graham. When he walked away, Graham knew that Riley was long gone.

As the weeks progressed, they found more villages like the first. Added fifty more men. The days were spent tracking and cleaning up. Graham had almost welcomed the attack when it finally came. He was aching to fight.

They held their own, but they shouldn't have. The creatures were huge. Seven feet tall with bat-like wings and tails that could send a man flying. The blasters didn't touch them; machine guns were useless. They had been fighting for an hour when the creatures grew still. There was a rustling in the trees. Graham had looked up; he could have sworn he saw a man climbing up through the leaves. He looked back around him to see that the creatures had gone.

They hadn't lost anyone. The men had been excited - they had won their first battle. Riley let them celebrate, but Graham knew that he wasn't satisfied. It had been too easy, too painless. Over the next four days there were two more battles. No casualties. The men felt they were untouchable; they were full of themselves. Graham would have been too, but he knew Riley too well. He trusted Riley's instincts.

The worst attack came in the middle of the night, almost a week to the day from the first one. Graham woke to hear men shouting. He hadn't even gotten his gun out when he got jumped. He could feel talons encircling his chest and wings around him, suffocating him. He managed to reach his knife and stab it in the gut. The claws released and the wings opened; he fell fifteen feet to the ground below. He broke his wrists in the fall, but he had been lucky. Eight men were carried away; twelve were killed in the battle.

Riley went ballistic. He blamed himself. Said he should have realized the first fights had been training. The demons hadn't been fighting; they'd been studying the unit's techniques.

The demons struck again the next few nights, taking more men each time. The Army wanted to pull them out; they said they wanted to learn more about the species before they sacrificed more men. That rationale had never rung true to Graham - from day one the mission was known to be highly dangerous. They should have been sending in reinforcements, not pulling the team out. Graham had wanted to talk to Riley about it but he never got the chance. As soon as Ellis called in the orders, the village men erupted. They had lost their sons and daughters; their wives and mothers. They blamed the Army men for not seeing the mission through. Graham had appreciated the irony: these "normal" men turned out to be the true soldiers.

Riley had calmed them down, told everyone to grab their sleeping bags and they'd discuss it in the morning. Graham had woken up a few hours later with a knife at his throat. He hadn't rated a gun thanks to his broken wrists. He looked around to see that the villagers had taken the Army men prisoners. It was mutiny - a surprise attack. The Army guys had no chance - there were too few of them left and most of them were injured.

Graham watched as Marcial and a few other men led Riley away from the camp. He thought they'd execute the Army men one by one and was surprised when they all came back an hour later. Riley had made a deal: if the villagers let the Army guys go, the soldiers would take the long way home. Long enough so that the village men would have time to attack the nest and do as much damage as they could.

Riley was the first to be blindfolded; his hands were tied behind his back. The others didn't fight. They knew it was the only way they were getting out alive and as much as they were trying to be brave, they just wanted to go home. They marched for a full day before they were allowed to stop. Graham had been exhausted but the excruciating pain in his wrists - exacerbated by the bonds on his arms and the painkillers he had left behind - kept him from falling asleep. He heard whispers -- not Spanish this time, some language Graham didn't know. Someone else was there. Someone else had brought them to this place.

While they slept, their bonds had been loosened. They removed their blindfolds and found basic supplies and a crude map showing where they were. For some reason, Graham wasn't surprised when he saw that Riley wasn't with them. At first he thought that Riley had just walked off to die in the woods. But by the time they emerged from the rainforest, three weeks later, Graham had come up with a different theory: Finn had asked to stay.

Riley's report had confirmed this. Graham wasn't sure if it made him feel better or worse.

Ellis' voice snapped him back to the present. "Sound about right?"

"That's pretty much how I remember it."

Ellis was pleased. "Not bad for the first day. Maybe he'll finish it tonight."

God, he hoped so. Graham didn't know how long he could see Riley like this. The old Riley - the one he thought he said goodbye to in Belize. The one that made magic with Buffy. The electricity between them was visible to anyone watching, even in this artificial world. When Riley woke up and found nothing had changed after all would it destroy him all over again?

But there was no alternative. And maybe there was some hope of a happy ending. She had been there that night at the helicopter. He had had no right to keep that information from Riley. But maybe - somehow - they could find each other again here in this alternate reality and live happily ever after. "So if he finishes tonight, can we get them out of there?" he said mostly to himself. He didn't expect the whispered response.

"Can we wait until he actually fucks her?"

The crude comment pulled Graham away from his fairy tale ending. His head jerked up to see who had just said it. He had been so caught up in reading the report that he hadn't noticed the stranger next to him and the others who had filtered in.

Ellis was furious. "You - out." Idiot. He didn't want any of these visitors and he was certainly not going to let them get away with shit like that. "We get him out when we get the information we need. If he finishes it tonight, then we get him out tonight." He addressed Graham. "You think he's telling us the truth?"

"Yeah, I do."

"You think he's telling us everything?"

Graham chewed on his pen and thought about his answer carefully. He looked around the table again. There were too many new faces, faces he didn't trust. "I think there's something more. There was a weird feeling down there. You always felt like you were being watched. Maybe it was just animals, but maybe… I don't know." He tried to ignore all the eyes on him. "By that last attack we were decimated - physically and emotionally. Those men could have done some damage but they couldn't have destroyed that nest." He had seen the pictures of the destroyed caves. They hadn't had that kind of manpower. "Finn is the best soldier I've ever seen, but there's no way he could have escaped on his own."

"So what are you saying - Tarzan swept in and rescued him? Destroyed the nest?" asked another guy Graham didn't know.

Ellis stared the man down as he answered, "Not Tarzan, but definitely someone unconventional. It took a laser to break the wristbands Finn was wearing when his body was recovered. But someone in that cave tore them from the wall." He looked around the room, irritated that he had to put up with these people just because they were VIPs and they got to go where they pleased. At least he didn't have to be nice about it if he didn't want to. "Some of you may have heard about the little show we had here this afternoon." His glare erased all smirks. "This is not a stag party, gentleman. This is a military operation and I expect you to respect the situation and handle it like any other. Anyone getting hot and bothered will be removed immediately, understood?" It always felt good to wield a little power. "Dismissed! Miller, stay back."

"Thanks for saying that," Graham said once the others had left the room.

Ellis looked at his second in command. "Graham, you know what happened this afternoon…"

"Yeah," Graham replied. "Riley and Buffy never could keep their hands off each other."

"Yeah," Ellis replied right back, "well, it's possible things could get very uncomfortable very soon. Are you sure you're ready?"

"I thought I didn't have a choice in the matter."

"No. If we proceed, you're in for the long haul. But I'm giving you the chance to shut this operation down right now. Turn off the machines, let Finn go, and give him the hero's funeral that he deserves - no more limbo."

Was he serious?

"I'm giving you an opportunity you won't get again. You have 30 seconds to make a decision."

Graham had a lot of kills to his credit but he couldn't add another one. Not this one. Forrest probably could have done it, but Forrest never would have brought Riley back in the first place. Gates would have put a bullet in Riley's head the minute they brought him out of the jungle. He sunk his head into his hands. "I can't. I just can't. I need to see it through. We need to see it through."

"Good choice, Agent Miller; you just saved both our careers." Ellis knew he shouldn't have done it, but Graham was faltering. Every soldier understood loss, but this was different. No one should see his friend like this. "Go get dinner. Think about your friend. If it helps, think about him being with Buffy. Report back in one hour and make sure everyone's ready to go. This could be a long night."

It had been her turn to do the dishes while Riley was putting Eve to bed. She hung the dishtowel on the bar. Buffy was on edge. She felt a need to be out patrolling but it had been two years since that was part of her nightly routine. What had she done for two years with all this residual Slayer energy? She drummed her fingers on the counter. Wait, there was a punching bag in the basement. She needed to do something. She went downstairs.

Dinner had been uncomfortable. She had tried to get Riley to tell her about what he wrote but he wouldn't go into much detail, so when Riley took Eve up for a bath, she read the report. She knew she shouldn't have done it without his permission but, well, she had never been very good at following the rules. He of all people knew that. But now that she had seen it, she wished she hadn't. Picturing him down there brought back this incredible urge to kill; like the night he had left when she had dusted eight vampires single-handedly. She wished Willow or Giles was here to talk to. Or Xander. Xander had come through so big on the whole Riley thing; she just wished it had happened in time for her to do something about it.

She picked some boxes up off the floor and put them on a table against the wall. Damn it. They had wasted so much time and he had nearly gotten himself killed. He was here, but something with Riley wasn't right. She jabbed at the punching bag.

Clearly the demons had been a particularly nasty breed, not one she had dealt with before. Jab. Their physical characteristics were unique; she was sure Giles could find something out about them. Jab. They were patient; smart enough to study their victims before they attacked. Jab. She wouldn't have wanted to take them on and she was the Slayer. "Was" being the operative word of course. Double jab. The fact that Riley had survived was a miracle. Jab.

Her movements had a steady rhythm to them now and she felt herself easing into a groove. Riley may have doubted his abilities without the drugs, but she never had. Well, ok. Maybe when he was recovering from the heart surgery and she said he was "kitten-y" but not on any bigger picture level. His military training may have been based on those drugs, but his mind and reflexes and experiences - those were all his. Still. No man could have taken these things down; especially not with a ragtag army as backup. They would have needed help.

But who would have helped? Not the government, they had already pulled out. Not her, she was otherwise occupied. So unless there was another Slayer running around… She stopped suddenly.

She steadied the bag. Was that a possibility? Could Faith be part of this? Could Faith have been down there fighting with Riley? Buffy tried to ignore how much that vision hurt her. She choked on the sudden flow of tears and began punching again. She thought back to the night that he left and wished she hadn't been so stubborn. So stupid. She felt that sadness again. This made no sense. He was her husband; they had made it through this. He had chosen her, come back to her. But how could he not have told her?

The machines started whirring. The EKG was spiking. "Major!"

Ellis tore his eyes from the monitor. He had never seen a girl move like that. Hell, he had never seen anyone move like that - human or not. "What?" Oh, shit. He snapped to attention as General Dixon walked in the room with Senator… damn, he could never remember his name. It always got him in trouble.

"At ease Ellis. I hear we have something interesting going on down here."

Ellis was pissed. Another VIP to babysit; they were at a critical juncture and he didn't want to be doing any dog and pony show. Plus he had heard his name yelled and he wanted to know what was going on. "Sorry, sir. I think I'm needed in the other room."

"Why thank you, Ellis. I'd love to come along."

Ellis cursed under his breath. "Sure, I'd love the company. Miller - you're in charge." The three men walked across the hall to the medical area. He was hoping the two visitors wouldn't start asking questions; too much was going on and if they had been reading the daily reports they should at least have a basic understanding. "What?"

The Doctor seemed excited. "We're getting some interesting readings off of Finn. This is the kind of thing we were hoping for. You think Miller should know?"

Ellis hesitated. He didn't like being observed in action by the higher-ups; always felt like he was being second-guessed.

The Senator spoke before Ellis had a chance to respond. "Why exactly would Miller need to know?"

"He's heavily invested in this mission. He brought Finn in and recovered the body from Belize. Graham is my second in command and I need him to know everything."

"If he's so invested, why is he part of this mission at all?"

Ellis ignored the Senator's question and turned to Green. "Doctor, is there anything else to report?"

But the doctor had turned back to the machines. He and the other assistants were rushing across the room to Buffy's body. "Get the crash cart ready! Be ready on my say so!" He grabbed at the tape coming out of the machine. He turned back to Ellis. "I've never seen readings like this. Her heart should have stopped by now. I don't know how long she can go like this. What is going on in there?"

Well, well. Maybe there was something to this Slayer business. "Just a little training."

"If any of your men were training at that level they would have been dead five minutes ago. Let's hope Riley doesn't join in on this."

Riley watched as she resumed movement and went at the punching bag with renewed intensity. He had never seen her like this. Fire was practically shooting out of her eyes and if an HST had been on the other end of her fists Riley might even have felt sorry for it. He wanted to go to her but couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't think he could handle being shut out again. She wasn't likely to tell him what she was thinking about and he definitely didn't want to know if it involved someone other than him. And it surely didn't involve him; even Dawn had seen it - Buffy just didn't get that worked up over him. He was feeling too beaten up physically and emotionally to deal with this now; another blow might put him over the edge.

Riley turned to leave the room and headed towards the stairs. This was Buffy's fight with whatever demon she was dealing with and he would leave her to it. He had wanted to talk to her about what was happening - she had to have noticed that there was something weird going on - but this clearly wasn't the time. They could talk later.

"Riley!" His movement had caught her eye. Her emotions were so intense that she couldn't say anything more but she was not going to let him walk out on her again. She was going to play this out the way that night should have been played out years ago in the back of the Magic Shop.

He stopped. He turned to her just in time to see her foot come at his chest. It sent him flying backwards. Patent Slayer move; he should have been ready for it. "What the hell was that?" He scrambled to his feet and tried to duck her punches.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Her eyes were wild. "Why didn't you tell me she was down there with you?"

This was about him. He realized too late that his hands had fallen to his sides as he realized she was talking about Faith and another of her punches sent him flying. Why aren't these damn walls padded? He got up swinging and landed a few of his own. Her head snapped back and she stumbled.

Well damn. Graham was starting to see why Riley had wanted to stick around Sunnydale. Sparring with your girlfriend? To be able to be with someone no holds barred. Graham had been on the other end of those fists and he knew that Riley could throw a punch. But so could Buffy. She had taken down three armed men in under a minute before she joined the Initiative. His eyes followed the action on the monitors. She was definitely hot - especially in a tank top and spandex. This was going to be good.

"What did she just say?" Brown spoke from across the table.

Graham's brain was just registering Buffy's words. 'She'? Who was 'She'? Was it important? Not Graham's decision to make. "Get Ellis."

Brown started to get up but saw Ellis had just returned to the conference room and was walking towards them. Ellis stopped and swore when he saw that Riley was now fighting in full force. "Ripley get some monitors into the other room NOW! They need to see what's going on. Brown, Miller we're moving in there." He wheeled around and almost crashed into a nurse who had come running into the room. "I know, I know. Green needs to see me ASAP."

Graham followed Ellis across the hall and entered the room just in time to see the crash cart next to Riley being charged and doctors rushing toward Finn. Graham lurched forward. Brown grabbed him from behind as Ellis yelled "No! Let them do their job." But they weren't doing their job. Now they were just standing there. No one was doing anything.

Green looked up at Miller. "What the hell is happening in there?"

Brown answered, "Finn and Summers are beating the shit out of each other, sir!"

Graham caught the glances between Ellis and Green and saw Ripley plugging one of the monitors in. They all turned to the monitor just in time to see Buffy flip Riley onto his back.

"Unh!" His grunt echoed that of all the observers in the lab. 'She'? So Buffy didn't know. She wasn't so far off, but this wasn't the time to tell her she was wrong. "Jealous?" Damn. He shouldn't be enjoying this so much.

She dropped down, straddling his waist, and slammed her right arm against his neck. "How did she find you? What was she doing there?"

Her face was inches above his and she was out of breath. He hadn't seen the tears before. That surprised him.

She pushed against his neck. She had him pinned against the floor. "How…did… she…get…there?"

He was breathing heavily too. "Don't you mean: thank God you were able to get out?" Now he was mad. He caught her by surprise, pushed on her left arm, and rolled out from under her as she fell. "A bit rusty, B?" He was antagonizing her; fighting dirty. "Worried Faith is the new Queen Slayer?" He jumped back as she pushed off her hands and onto her feet.

"Green, report!"

"Her heart seems to be doing ok but these readings are way too high for him. Maybe when he was in top shape … but now? After being in a coma for seven months? I don't like it."

Graham could hear the blood pounding in his head. "Can't we stop them? Didn't you say you could use the baby if things got too heated?"

Green sighed. "The baby's been crying for the last 20 minutes. It's not working. This is the real thing. It's as though they've transcended the machines. Whatever is feeding this is something stronger than we had prepared for. I don't think there's anything we can do."

"No one thought about a baby monitor?" Brown shut up as they all glared at him.

"Can we shut down the program?"

Green looked at Ellis. "At these heart rates? It would be too sudden; would probably kill them both."

"What if I go in? Would it do anything?" Graham was pacing as he spoke.

Green thought about it before speaking to Ellis. "It could work. They both know him; it could center them enough to bring things back under control."

Ellis turned to Graham. "Suit up." Graham turned to leave the room.

Buffy turned to face him but she hadn't seen him put his foot out and she tripped over it, falling into the wall. He pinned her from behind, his knee between her legs, forcing her shoulders flat; his mouth at her ear. "Wasn't Faith the one who said something about sex and slaying going together?"

The thought of Faith and Riley slaying together, sleeping together… She couldn't shake the image of the two of them fighting demons together, connecting on that level. She still hurt from the last time. Even though Riley hadn't known it was Faith in Buffy's body, it was still Faith he had made love to.

"No," she growled. She pushed off the wall knocking them both on their backs on the floor. They rolled away from each other and jumped to their feet, both facing each other, crouching. "I don't believe it. Not the Riley Finn I know."

"I don't think you know me that well." He knew the words would hurt; he didn't care. He faked a step toward her and swung from the other side as she went to block him. He was starting to get tired but he couldn't stop. He couldn't control himself around her. He thought his broken heart had mended long ago but it still felt raw. "I was dead, Buffy. I was dead and they brought me back to life so they could kill me again. I needed help. I could never have stopped them on my own." As he blocked her kick, the back of his fist caught the side of her head and knocked her against the wall.

"Wait." General Dixon held his hand out to Graham and stopped him from exiting the room. "We're just getting to the good part. This is what I want to hear."

Graham was incredulous. "But this could kill him. Them. We can get Riley to tell us what he knows some other way. You've got to let this stop."

"This seems to be working just fine, don't you think? It was an excellent idea to bring her in on this, Miller. I wasn't totally on board before but now I see it was the only way." His smile was cold.

Graham looked at Ellis. He didn't need to be reminded of his role in this. "But… They could die if they keep this up."

Ellis looked at Green who nodded. Dixon and Graham were staring each other down. "Sir?"

The General didn't break the stare as he responded. "I've made my decision, Major. We are in observation mode only. Get out the popcorn, boys. If the makeup sex is as good as the fighting I think I'm going to have to find myself a whore tonight."

Graham pushed past the two soldiers who tried to stop him. Ellis stepped in front of him just as he reached the General. "Miller!" Ellis grabbed onto Miller's shirt and looked into his eyes. In a low, even voice he said, "You do not want to do this. At best you will be court martialed. Do you understand me Agent Miller?"

Graham's eyes were cold and he stared straight ahead. "Sir." He took a deep breath and avoided looking at anyone in the room. He turned to leave the room and the others got out of his way. He rammed his hand into the wall as he walked out.

"Let him go." Ellis glared at the MP who was about to run after Miller. The General started to say something and then thought better of it. Ellis was not happy. He was not happy one bit.

This time Buffy didn't get up. She was sitting against the wall with her knees drawn up to her chest. Her breathing was ragged and uneven. Riley reached out gingerly, always ready for the sneak attack, then suddenly stopped. Was she crying? "Buffy?" He crouched down to get closer and put his hand on her shoulder. "Buffy, don't cry. Please don't cry. I was just…" Caught up in the moment. Carried away with the thought that you might actually care.

He couldn't remember ever seeing her lose it before. Messy. Ugly. Nothing held back. For so long he had wanted something - anything - that showed she gave a damn. But now, seeing her like this… The monster wasn't in him. "Faith wasn't there."

He pulled her to him and fell back against the wall, sinking until they were sitting on the floor. She struggled to get out of his arms but he wasn't going to let her go. He grabbed her as she started to crawl away from him. He said, almost to himself, "I am not going to let you out of my life again." She was shaking and pushing his hand away. He gripped her shoulders and spun her to face him, pulling her up to her knees. His eyes met hers as he held her there.

She tensed for a second and then she lunged at him. Her lips were against his and then down at his neck. Her hands were in his hair, on his shoulders, against his chest. He could feel his heart racing and couldn't tell if it was from the fighting or because she was making him so… He gasped as her hands reached down the front of his pants and touched his skin. He released her from his hold and she moved closer to him, pressing her body to his. He grabbed at her waist, pushing her pants down. She stood and took off her shoes. Her hips were right above his head. He reached up, pulling her to his mouth, tasting her as she leaned forward against the wall, standing over him with her eyes closed.

She stepped back, grabbing onto his hair; pulling him up until he was standing. Another step back. He watched as she pulled her top over her head and then stepped towards him again. He reached his hand to her breast and brushed his finger across her nipple, feeling it go hard. He ran his hands down her body, feeling her skin, tracing her scars, his mouth at hers. He stopped to pull off his shirt. "Riley." She stared up at him and ran her finger down his chest past his stomach. She stopped and smiled wickedly.

No games. This was happening now. He pushed her back, against a narrow table piled high with boxes; lifted her so that she was perched on the edge, her legs straddling his. She pushed the boxes away from behind her and sat back on the table as he stepped out of his pants. She reached one hand down and the other to the back of his neck, pulling her to him as her tongue pushed his lips open again. He braced himself against the wall behind her and tried not to focus on what her hand was doing down there. Not yet. Do not come yet. He fought for control as her tongue tasted his and he felt her breasts against him.

He reached down with his hand to spread her legs wider and she shuddered as his hand brushed her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him to her. Her breath caught as she felt him against her. "Now," her voice was hoarse. "I want you now." He watched her close her eyes as he entered her and slowly rocked his hips, going deeper with each push. He was almost there, but wasn't ready for it to end yet. He looked away quickly, trying to think of something, anything, other than her.

"No," she gasped. "Don't stop." She rocked against him, running her hands down his back, pulling him closer, pulling him deeper inside, moving her hips against his, controlling the pace. His arms shook and his heart pounded. His legs didn't feel strong enough to hold his weight any longer. He closed his eyes and let her support him. He gave himself totally to her - it. This incredible feeling; her hunger for him meeting his need for her.

The intensity scared him. His entire body was trembling and he felt his strength start to seep away. He opened his eyes to see her staring back at him, her eyes widening as the first climax ripped through her body. She grasped the edge of the table beneath her, thrusting her hips into his, arching her back, her eyes closing again. She cried out as he bent down, his mouth to her breast, her hair brushing his arms as they moved together. He clenched his hands, trying to make it last, but hearing her moan and feeling her beneath him…

He exploded inside her as she came again. He pulled her hips to his and leaned into her chest, their bodies becoming one. He tried to catch his breath, heard she was gasping for air as well. He could feel her heart beating, pounding as hard as his. He enveloped her with his arms and fell against her. He saw her chest rise and fall quickly with each breath but couldn't hear her over the throbbing in his head. Her eyes were wide as she looked at him; tears and sweat streamed down her face. He felt dizzy - closed his eyes against the pounding. "Buffy…" He gasped for breath, falling against her as they collapsed against the table.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and eased them to the floor, supporting them both. She tried to steady his shaking, grabbed his sweatshirt from the floor behind him and wrapped it around his shoulders. She tasted salt on his cheek as she pulled his head to hers. She cradled him like she would a baby, gently stroking his hair.

Ellis glanced around the room. Not one of the men watching the monitors could meet his eyes. There was a lot of heavy breathing, but no one spoke. He looked over to where Graham was sitting by Riley. Graham knew what had just happened - how could he not? But he just sat there next to the bed, grasping Riley's hand.

Graham had shut them all out. He hadn't known what to do after the General rendered him helpless but he finally decided that if Riley died in the next twenty minutes, it was not going to be alone, some guinea pig under these bizarre circumstances. He had walked past the men watching the monitors, past the man still standing there uselessly with the paddles from the crash cart, and sat down, pulling the chair up to Riley's bed. He took Riley's hand in his left, reached out to Buffy with his right, and tried to remember what you were supposed to say when you prayed.

The monitors had been beeping frantically, feverishly. When Riley's hand clenched and then released, Graham bowed his head, painfully aware of the suddenly silent machines. He closed his eyes against the rush of tears when he heard the beeping resume - slowly. Steadily. After a moment, he opened his eyes to see Green standing there looking at printouts and conferring with the rest of the medical team. Riley's chest rose and fell. Graham looked over to see that Buffy was breathing normally too. He looked up and saw Ellis staring at him.

The Major nodded slightly and then turned to the rest of the group. "Everybody! Listen up." He spoke loudly enough to be heard in the conference room across the hall. "You have thirty minutes. Take a cold shower, run some laps, do whatever you need to do. In one half hour we will meet in the conference room and in a serious, professional manner will discuss what happens from here. If I hear one thing that comes close to immaturity you will find yourself wishing to be assigned to latrine duty. Dismissed!" Even Dixon had the sense to leave the room. Ellis walked over to Graham who was now standing and leaning against the wall, watching the doctors watch the monitors. He put his hand on Graham's shoulder. "You're a good friend, Miller."

"A good friend would have put him out of his misery months ago."

"He's not dead yet."

Graham looked down at the floor. He couldn't meet Ellis' eyes.

Ellis turned and walked out of the room. He was not happy to see Dixon and the Senator waiting for him.

"At ease," said the General. "We need a moment of your time."

Ellis gestured at the now empty conference room. "In here."

The three men sat down at the table. Ward began, "We've been following this project very closely over the past few months. I flew in from Washington yesterday when I heard that you brought Summers in. She has a way of making things happen, even, apparently, when she's heavily drugged. She's quite a girl, don't you think?"

"Sir, I mean no disrespect," said Ellis, "but we don't have much time before my men start returning. If there's something you need to tell me, you'd better say it soon."

Dixon laughed and said, "Ellis, I guess I don't need to tell you, you can speak freely here. I knew there was a reason I put you in charge of this mission."

"Thank you, sir. Can we proceed then?"

Ward smiled as he continued. "Sometimes it's hard to get out of politician mode. I'll try and be as brief as possible. To be blunt, we never expected this mission to succeed."

Ellis sat up a little straighter. "Which mission? Belize? Or the VR project?"

"Actually both."

"I wasn't sure if you'd consider Belize a success, even though the caves were destroyed in the end."

"To the contrary. Belize was a greater success than we had hoped - we hadn't actually expected those goals to be achieved. You look confused, Major. Did you ever wonder why we sent in four experienced Initiative men with sixteen new recruits?"

Ellis had wondered, but hadn't been given the opportunity to question it. He took full advantage of that now. "Of course I did. It was a suicide mission - and a poorly planned one at that. You either send in an elite team or you send in cannon fodder. You don't mix it up and waste them both."

Dixon cut in. "I don't really consider it a waste. We're playing with bigger stakes here and there are sacrifices that need to be made. I needed to see who was worthy of the tasks ahead."

"Who was worthy?" Ellis sat back in his chair in disbelief. "It was a test? You - I - sent those men in there to see who came out alive?" Over the course of his career, he had put men in horrible positions before, but at least they had had a fighting chance.

"Not quite, Ellis. It's not that bad. We had every intention of pulling them out before there were too many losses. But they couldn't know that; you couldn't know that. The stakes needed to be high - high enough for them to prove themselves."

"For who to prove themselves? The new recruits…?" His voice trailed off as he began to understand what the General was saying. "No. The Initiative men. That's why there were so many of them." He remembered thinking there were too many cooks when he saw who was on his team; now it made sense.

"There were only supposed to be three. Miller, Taggart and Johnson were some of the best men to come out of Walsh's program - we needed to know their capabilities."

"'Some of' but not the best." Ellis laughed to himself. "So that's why you didn't give me any shit when I asked to add Finn to the team. I thought it was just because there wasn't much time."

"We couldn't have asked for a better scenario," said Ward. "Some council members weren't supportive of bringing Finn back. Not to mention that Finn had absolutely no interest in returning. We'd been discussing it for awhile but couldn't figure out a way to get it done…"

"…And then I call a few hours before the chopper takes off and say that I want Riley in on the mission." Ellis was shaking his head as he asked, "So what about Miller and Taggart?"

"They're good men, good soldiers. So was Johnson, we're sorry to have lost him. But it was clear from the beginning that Finn was in charge down there. Even you treated him that way. It surprised us given his history. We know there was tension with him and some of the others but by the time they made contact with the demons, Riley was the only one we were talking to." Ward stopped talking as the General glared at him.

Ellis caught the look between Dixon and Ward. "What do you mean talking to? I was the one giving them their orders; everything went through me." He paused. "Didn't it?"

"I had been getting reports from each of the Initiative men throughout the mission," Dixon said. "But I also needed to hear it from you first hand without you being biased. Each of them had a slightly different assignment. We could tell by your reports that Finn's tasks were the ones carried out."

"How long did it take you to plan this exactly? Was it really worth the trouble? Seems like a big power trip to me…"

Dixon's eyes turned cold and he leaned in towards Ellis, speaking barely above a whisper. "I appreciate your honesty Ellis, but not your insolence. The Initiative failed because of weakness. I will not allow that to happen again. The future of this branch of the military lies in the hands of the soldier I choose to succeed Maggie Walsh and you can be damn sure that that soldier will be tested until I have absolutely no doubts."

The tension was broken by a knock on the door. "What?" yelled Ellis as he turned to see who had entered the room.

"Oh, sorry sir. I guess I'm a few minutes early. Why don't I just wait outside?" Brown said as he ducked out again.

"So I guess you got your boy then. That's why you decided to pull them out when you did. You made your decision; game over." Ellis leaned back, away from Dixon. "So what about his record? Insubordination. Desertion. Treason. Aren't you afraid he'll help another HST escape? Aren't you concerned about the rumors that he wasn't on his own down there?" Ellis gave Dixon an icy smile. "Just to play devil's advocate…"

"There are concerns," said Ward, "but not about those charges. He's explained them to our satisfaction. And, since I'm not military, I can say that they're actually the reason he's the best candidate in my book. I like all you soldiers, but you don't ask enough questions. Things are too black and white for you."

"I'm asking questions now, aren't I?" Ellis said. "So what are the concerns? General? You don't totally trust him, do you? You think he may have played a role in the mutiny. His report said he wanted the soldiers gone. You think he may have made it happen."

"It makes Ward here happy," Dixon said as he nodded his head at Ward. "He thinks it's noble. I'm not so sure."

"So what if he did? If it weren't for that, there would have been a lot more casualties."

"True, and if that was his reason, fine. But I need to be sure. I need to trust him completely."

Ward said, "There's more. We also want to know who his friends were, if they really were vampires. Someone helped him get to the caves, helped him get out of there - we want to know how. We want to know if the rumors are true."

"Can't have the head of your sub-t branch being too friendly with the locals, huh?"

Ward glared at Ellis. "We're not opposed to strategic alliances, but we need to know what's behind them. Why would they help him? He's a professional demon hunter; hostiles don't help guys like us without wanting something in return. And there's one more thing, could be nothing: how did he figure out how to kill the demons? Miller couldn't explain how Finn thought to use stakes; when Riley talked to Dixon, he was vague. It's a small thing, but we want to know."

"It's pretty damn lucky that Green was all ready to go with the VR stuff. Without it, you'd be dead in the water. Or was that planned too?"

"Green's research was promising. We may have rushed him a bit - he had only worked with primates and HSTs - but we didn't have a choice. It was our only chance to get Finn out of there alive. It was a major gamble, but it seems to be working so far. Surprisingly, but I'll take it."

"Why don't you let Finn out of this prison and just debrief him? The girl did what you wanted her to. Green is pretty confident that if they eased up on the sedatives he would come out of the coma. Why don't you let him wake up?"

"Not until we get our questions answered. He wakes up and there's no way he tells us what we want to know. He'd go to the brig just to spite us. This is the only way we can see this through."

"And if he dies in there? If you're planning his future, I'd think you'd be a bit more concerned about keeping him alive."

Dixon answered, "Oh, I am concerned. Tonight was…unexpected. But there's a lot riding on this, on how he answers these questions. I'm counting on you and Green to make this happen without him getting killed."

Great. Nothing like a rock and a hard place. "You think when he wakes up that he's going to accept your promotion willingly? Good luck." Ellis stood up. "How much of this is public information?"

Dixon answered. "Nothing about the test, but you can tell them what we want to know. You can do this meeting without us; I'm sure your men will be much more comfortable without us sitting at the table." He and Ward stood and left the room as the others filtered in.

When they all sat down, Ellis addressed Green, "How's our boy doing?"

"He's alive. He's doing even better than he was this morning - surprisingly, given that he almost died half an hour ago. But his brain activity is off the charts. As I told you earlier, I think that if we weaned him off the sedatives we might start to see the results we were hoping for."

Brown leaned forward excitedly. "Isn't that a good thing?"

Graham leaned back into his chair as he watched Ellis' face. He couldn't fucking believe this. "'But.' There's a 'but,' isn't there?"

"Yes. 'But…'" replied Ellis. "The General has given me orders to continue this mission. There are several things we need to know." Ellis summarized them for the team. He looked at Graham. "Graham, he shouldn't have made it out of Belize alive and you know it."

"Are you implying that Riley…?" Graham was furious.

"I'm not implying anything. I'm saying straight out that Dixon has some questions about Finn."

Graham leaned forward. "This is crazy. He's under suspicion because he didn't die. Unbelievable."

Green didn't often find himself agreeing with Graham, but this time was an exception. "I am adamantly against this approach. Another interaction like the one this evening and his heart will most certainly fail. If you're not going to let us pull them out of this then at least let us up the sedatives and shut down the program for a few weeks so he can have a reasonable chance of survival."

"Weeks? Can you be sure that will be enough? And can you guarantee me that the memories will hold and we can start up where we left off?" Ellis watched as Green shook his head. "No, I didn't think so. This needs to get done now."

"I don't think you're hearing what I'm saying. If he dies, you don't get the memories at all. There's a reason heart attack patients are cautioned against strenuous activity. After such a shock, the body needs time to recover. In the last year, Finn's body has been stressed beyond belief. He's been in a coma for seven months. In one day he's not only resumed normal activity, he's far exceeded healthy levels. The only reason he's still alive is due to years of intense military conditioning. But he is human. Make no mistake. The next time will kill him."

Brown was looking at Graham. "You know him - them. After a night like that, when would the 'next time' be? Could they…? Would they do it again?" They all looked at Brown. "Not ever - I mean tonight."

Graham folded his arms against his chest. He smiled remembering Buffy and Riley in the early days…constantly at each other. One night he had been woken up four times thanks to them. Walsh had been furious when Riley missed roll call the next day. "Hell, yeah."

"That's what I thought." Ellis looked around the table. "Dixon knows the risks, but he seems to think we can manage them. So that's what we need to do. Brown, I want two men monitoring activity for the rest of the night. Green - what's your coverage?"

"We have a nurse on for the rest of the night."

"Make it one nurse and one doctor per patient from here on."

Green nodded as Ellis continued issuing orders. "Ripley - can you plant something into the program? Something that might spark a conversation?"

Ripley nodded and replied, "We can manage something."

"Good," said Ellis. "Call in whoever you need. Let's try and manipulate them into talking about Belize so we can get them out of there." This had been a long day; Ellis was ready to wrap it up. "Everyone wears beepers and cell phones tonight. And stay close - I want you to be able to get back here in less than 10 minutes if I need you. Brown and Green, report back at 0600. Ripley and Miller, report at 0900 hours. Get some rest. Let's hope that their morning is uneventful. Dismissed."

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