"Ever After"

Author: Alexandra Huxley
Email: alexandrahuxley@yahoo.com

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Graham couldn't believe it was only 11:30. He had lived a lifetime in the last few hours. A miserable, stinking lifetime. He needed a drink.

Fifteen minutes later, he found himself at the Bronze. He looked at all the college kids blowing off steam. He was too young to feel nostalgic about innocence. He took a seat at the bar and ordered a beer. No, wait, something harder. Scotch - double. And keep them coming.


"So how long should we stick around?" Xander's arm was around Anya and he was trying to pretend that her hand wasn't in his pants.

Willow scanned the room. They had been here for six hours. It was almost midnight and she had a headache from the music. She was reaching for her bag when she saw him at the bar. She hadn't seen him come in. "That's him." Xander and Anya turned to look and they all watched as he downed his first drink and asked for another.

A woman sidled up to Graham and touched her hand to his shoulder. He shrugged her hand off and shook his head. He looked down as the bartender put his drink on the counter. He barely noticed her walk away as he threw his head back and swallowed again. He lifted his hand for another.

"That guy is not o.k." Xander watched the blonde move on to her next prospect. "Willow - wait!" But she had already left the table.

Willow sat down next to Graham. This was not her style but Buffy had been gone for two days and they needed to find her. "Buy you a drink?"

She had beautiful, luminous eyes and pretty red hair. But Graham wasn't in the mood for company. "Sorry, I'm not…" His voice trailed off. She looked very familiar but he had a slight buzz and it took him a moment to place her. Shit.

She leaned in closer to him. "Tough night?"

He tossed back another drink. "You could say that." He was wary. A year ago he would have laughed at the thought of a witch getting the better of him, but he knew much more now. Too much. "You're Buffy's friend, aren't you?"

"I saw you with her - the other night? I saw you together."

Yes, sir, may I have another. So much for getting trashed. He was going to need to keep his head together for a bit longer. "Yeah - she's pretty feisty. Riley never told me what a great lay she was."

Willow's eyes hardened but she wasn't going to let him get rid of her that easily. "How is Riley?" Two can play at this game.

Graham's speech was slightly slurred. "How is Riley?" He chuckled. "That is the question…"

Willow's hand went to Graham's shoulder. "What is it, Graham? Is Riley back? Is he with Buffy? What's going on?"

He thought about Ellis' words and knew that Dixon had essentially ordered Riley's execution. Graham was helpless against this Machine -- had nearly given up, was tired of playing God. But as he sat there trying to reconcile this soft, kind looking girl with the one he had seen running past the Pit, dodging bullets and demons, it occurred to him that maybe he could still get Riley out of this, get Buffy out of this. She felt about Buffy the way he did about Riley: brothers - sisters - in arms.

He would probably get fired for this. He'd be lucky if he didn't get thrown in the brig. "Is there somewhere we can talk?"


Riley was shivering, but at least he was still sleeping. His collapse had scared her, and Buffy wasn't sure how long she had sat there holding him, waiting for his breathing to return to normal. She shouldn't have pushed him into that fight; she thought he was feeling better, but it was clear he was still sick. The fury inside her had come out of nowhere - anger at him, at herself; unfinished business that they had never taken care of. Well at least it was out in the open now. And she could have sworn he said that it wasn't Faith, but she wasn't sure if she had heard him right. They could talk about that tomorrow.

Buffy carefully eased Riley out of her arms. He had finally fallen into a deep sleep and she didn't have the heart to wake him and move him upstairs, but he was cold and a sweatshirt draped over his shoulders wasn't doing it. She looked around for his t-shirt - sleeping in a sports bra was not her idea of comfort - but she didn't see it. She got up and headed to the stairs with the intention of grabbing some blankets and pillows and a nightshirt.

She stopped when she noticed a trunk in the corner. She hadn't remembered seeing it there earlier. Then again, her mind had been elsewhere. She opened the top and saw that it was filled with Army stuff. Good, a blanket. Army issue. And, bonus, a t-shirt. There was an earthy, masculine smell to everything; kind of like Riley after patrolling back in the day. She took a deep breath as she pulled the shirt over her head; funny the things you miss about slaying. The smell of the hunt, the chase itself, the kill - of course; the primeval, powerful being that you become… Better not go there now, that way lies depression.

What else was in here? A collapsible nightstick, taser, and cross-bow were lying underneath the blanket. Riley sighed and turned over. She looked over to him and smiled at the sight of his naked body. She felt a stirring inside her, fought the temptation. He needs to rest, she told herself, there would be plenty of time tomorrow. She brought the blanket over and covered him. She took his sweatshirt and folded it up into a pillow, gently placing it under his head.

She walked back to the trunk and started to look through it. This must be from Belize - newer class of weapons, different color fatigues. Why had she never seen this stuff before? Had Graham had it for some reason? As she rummaged through things, she heard something fall to the bottom. It sounded like a chain. She tugged at it. It had gotten caught on something. Gave it another yank. A chain linking together a bunch of flat stones like a key chain. There were about 40 of them; each with a name or a marking she didn't recognize. Home-made dog tags? She laced it through her fingers. She wanted to hear more about Belize. No matter how painful it was, she needed to hear more.


They were sitting in Giles' living room, surrounded by boxes. There was a knock on the door. "Pizza's here! That was quick…" Willow said as she got up to answer it. Graham was struggling to explain what was happening at the Base; even to him it sounded farfetched. Buffy and Riley heavily sedated and guarded by twenty men, with dozens more working around them, yet living in their own little Mayberry. "Well that explains the weird readings I was getting…" Willow stopped talking as she opened the door.

"Willow."

Giles saw her tense. He came up behind her and opened the door the rest of the way. "You came. Please come in."

Angel walked in as Giles closed the door.

Xander grabbed onto Anya's hand - he was still wary around Angel. Willow's arms went around Angel's neck as she said, "I'm so glad you're here." Giles introduced Graham.

Graham reached out his hand. He was sure he had seen Angel somewhere before. "Do I know you?"

Anya said, "That's Buffy's ex. He's a vampire."

Xander turned to Anya. "Remember all that stuff about need to know? He's an Army guy. There are things he doesn't need to know."

Anya gave Xander a look, "But Angel's still in love with Buffy. He's here to help. Isn't he?" she asked Giles. Giles nodded.

Graham was mostly sober by now, but he was thinking he should have stayed drunk. His experience with the Initiative had broken down a lot of preconceptions, but this was almost more than he could take. Virtual reality, memory suppression - that was science. That was real. But this…this was a bit much. Inviting in a known vampire? Telepathy? Spells? How many times had he razzed Riley for going to the other side? Yet here he was, an hour after running into Willow, plotting a telepathic conversation, shaking hands with a vampire. He sighed. Focus on Riley. He put the vampire out of his mind and turned to Willow. "You can communicate with them? Talk to them?"

"She can, but she won't. She doesn't do that anymore," Xander said while glaring at Willow.

They had talked about this in the car on the way over. Willow and Xander had argued about it practically the whole way. Willow ignored Xander and looked at Giles, her eyes a question mark.

Giles cocked his head as he responded, "It could work. Lord knows you've done it before." He raised his hand at Xander's protest. "I know…but we may not have a choice. And it's pretty straightforward."

"Except for the twenty lethally armed men guarding their bodies," said Xander.

"Well, yes. Guarding their bodies. But we're not talking about storming the Base; we just want to make contact. We're talking about getting into their heads and somehow letting them know what's happening. Our first priority is to stop them from…" Giles' voice trailed off. He ran his hand through his hair. "…training."

"Oh yeah. Because we've always been so good at getting Buffy and Riley to listen to us."

"Xander's right, I guess, " Willow said reluctantly. "We can't just appear as a voice in their heads and then tell them to stop boinking. They wouldn't listen, for one thing. Besides," she turned to Graham, "you said they're surrounded by machines? Like in a hospital?"

"Yeah, the whole Base is computers. It's a VR research lab."

Willow nodded. "It's too dangerous for Riley. The telepathy could interfere with the machines that are keeping him alive. There's too much that could go wrong."

Angel asked, "Can't we just go in and get them?"

"We've gotten in before, to the Initiative anyway," Giles said, "but under rather unusual circumstances. Even if Graham could help us…"

"Twenty. Armed. Men," said Xander.

"He's right. There's no way. You won't make it through the front door. Especially now that they know you." Everyone turned to look at Graham. He couldn't believe he was taking part in this conversation. "Could you do it through the VR program - somehow get into that reality?"

Willow got out her laptop and started setting it up. "First let's see if we can get into the program. Maybe they never changed the encryption codes after Adam. With everything that's happened I never took them off my computer." Willow's fingers tapped at the keyboard.

Graham came up behind her. "Of course they changed the codes. This is a top secret military…" His voice trailed off as Willow cried out.

Willow smiled. "We're in. Graham - is there a 'top secret' code name? Like 'Project Romeo and Juliet' - no, bad ending. How about 'Operation River City'?"

He looked at the list of files and pointed. "Try that one."

"Well, that's no fun." She double-clicked on the folder named "Riley Finn." A list of files appeared. Some names she recognized - she clicked on "Willow" and saw a 3D image of herself. Oooh, cute sweater. She scrolled the text on the left of the screen and saw her grades from high school, college. There were also links to files with descriptions of events that had never happened.

"Am I in there?" Xander asked. The group had gathered behind her.

"Xander…Giles…Anya…Dawn… How did they get all this? They've created a whole new world. SimSlayer."

"They had ten guys working on it round the clock for four months. They were pretty thorough." The level of detail that went into the backend of the program still amazed Graham.

"Can you say Big Brother?" Xander asked, "Wait - does that say 'wedding'? Was I an usher?"

Willow clicked on the file. A dozen brief scenes played out. Buffy walking down the aisle. The kiss at the altar. Cutting the wedding cake. The Scoobies were all there, Dawn, even Buffy's dad. She looked up at Graham. "How did they do this?"

"They had security footage back from the Initiative days. They used those images." Graham didn't mention that the Scoobies themselves had been under surveillance for some time now. He figured that wouldn't do anything to help the situation. He had felt bad enough when he saw the tapes of Riley and Buffy in Riley's room. Realizing that not even Lowell House had been private? That sick feeling had stayed with him for weeks. No, that was not something he needed to bring to this group.

"Incredible," murmured Willow as she clicked on more folders filled with a fabricated history - future? - of Buffy's and Riley's lives.

"We don't have time for this." Angel's voice was cold. They had forgotten he was there.

"He's right. You know what they're like together. We were cleaning up Lowell House for days after they…you know." Graham didn't catch the glances Willow and Xander cast toward Angel. He kept going, "Add in a year's worth of built up tension and pure adrenaline? It got pretty heated last night. We're on borrowed time."

Xander leaned in towards Graham and muttered, "Ix-nay on the uffay-bay sex talk." He nodded in Angel's direction. "He might be on our side, but he's still a big bad."

"Willow, can you pull up the front end? See what Riley and Buffy are doing?" Giles grabbed a book out of a box as an image of the basement came up on the screen. They saw Buffy pull the t-shirt over her head and tug at something in the trunk.

"Does anyone else feel really dirty right now? Just when I think things can't get creepier." Xander clapped his hands together. "O-kay, so do we have a plan yet?" He turned away from the computer to see Angel heading for the door. "Where are you going?"

"Out," Angel said as he opened the door. "I'm getting her out of there."

"And again I say twenty armed men. Does anyone listen to me?" Xander said as he threw his arms up in the air.

Giles walked towards Angel. "Wait…"

"No more waiting. I'm going in."

"Yes, you are," said Willow, "but not that way." They all turned to Willow. Her eyes were on the screen as she spoke. "It's a little tricky, but it's essentially a teleportation spell."

Xander asked, "Teleporting? Like what you did with Glory? 'Cause that worked so well."

Willow looked up. "Hey! I've been practicing. I mean not in the last couple weeks because I don't do that anymore…" Her voice trailed off.

"I can do it," Anya said as they all looked at her.

"Are you sure? It's been a long time…" Willow wasn't thrilled with the idea.

"Hey," Anya said sharply. "It's not like I haven't done a few teleportation spells over the last thousand years."

Did she say thousand years? No, Graham thought, pretend you didn't hear that. Not your problem right now.

Giles was ignoring Willow and Anya's bickering; he was thinking about how this could work. "Was Angel in there?" Willow shook her head. "Does that mean they don't know about him? Could it keep them from finding us?" Giles asked Graham.

Graham shrugged. "It could be enough of a diversion to hold them off while we get a message to Riley and Buffy. And no, I don't remember ever hearing about Angel. The research was thorough but the starting point was pretty much day one of Buffy's freshman year."

"I don't think Riley even knew Angel's name until the whole thing with Oz," Xander said quietly, avoiding looking at Willow. He noticed Graham's questioning look. "Oz. The werewolf. I'm thinking you and Riley weren't quite on speaking terms around then."

"Oh. Right." Graham looked down at the floor. He couldn't believe how screwed up this all was.

Giles sat down next to Willow and looked at the screen. "But where do you send him? Do you really think it can work?"

"It's actually pretty easy. I just need to create a file and then insert it into the program. We send Angel into the file - the coordinates are just the file name. No biggie…"

Giles' look was incredulous. "Would you be making him…digital?"

Willow kicked him under the table. "You're making it sound so scary. As long as we know where we're sending him it doesn't matter what form he's in."

"Would they even be able to see him? I mean, he has no reflection - would he show up as an image on the computer?"

"I can create an image - make him appear normal to the people watching. The Army guys aren't the only ones with fancy graphics programs."

"Well there's a question I had never considered…does a vampire show up in a virtual reality program? Fascinating…" Giles was lost in thought.

"And Buffy and Riley?" Xander asked. "Could they see him?"

"We'd be sending him into the program - he wouldn't be an image, he'll really be there. So yes, they'll be able to see him," said Willow. "I think," she added under her breath.

Graham was shaking his head. "No matter what he looks like on the screen, one of my guys is going to notice that someone's hanging out in the kitchen, someone they didn't put there. It's too risky - they could decide to just shut the program down because it's been compromised. Then we're totally shut out."

"Dress him up," said Anya.

"Excuse me?" asked Angel. "Dress me up?"

Giles was nodding his head. "Someone people see every day that wouldn't stand out quite so much. Something innocuous. The mailman?"

Xander said, "Hey - be a UPS man. I was a UPS man for about a week between construction jobs…"

"Do you still have the uniform?" asked Willow.

"Never even turned in my little computer thingy that the customers have to sign."

"That could work. Can you run home and get it?"

"You're not serious," said Angel. "Shouldn't Xander or Giles do this?"

"What's wrong, Angel?" asked Xander. "Not dark and billowy enough?"

Willow gave Xander a look and turned to Angel. "You're the only one who can do it; you're the only one the Army guys don't know. Besides, if Buffy sees you, she'll know something's up. Even if they were actually married, do you really think they'd just have you over for tea? I can't imagine Riley going for that."

"Does Riley even know who you are?" Giles asked.

Angel took a moment before answering, not sure how much they knew. "We've met."

"I bet that was a barrel of laughs," Xander said as he grabbed his keys. "You know, Riley may not take too kindly to seeing Angel. Not if emotions are running high." Xander felt for Riley. Trying to reconcile all these feelings and emotions and then, whammo, face to face with Angel. "Angel can be pretty imposing."

"He can handle it," said Angel, "but I'd rather do something to get her out of there." He looked straight at Graham as he said, "I don't trust those Army guys."

Graham took a step toward him, making it clear that the feeling was mutual. "If you do something stupid, they're both as good as dead."

Willow said to Graham, "No one's going to do anything crazy." She turned to Angel. "We don't have time right now to figure out a way to get them out. We just need to keep them alive. We deal with the rest later."

Graham wasn't placated. "Can you do that?" he asked Angel. "Can you just stand there and watch them be together?" He jumped back as Angel's face morphed. "Shit! Don't do that!"

Willow glared at Angel. "Angel will be fine."

"Appearances to the contrary," muttered Giles.

Willow turned to Graham. "Riley will be fine." She looked back at Angel. "If Riley dies, they have no need for Buffy. We make contact and tell them what's going on. Are we clear?"

"Fine. We need to be Graham and Angel were still eyeing each other warily, but they both nodded and Graham said, ready when they wake up and we don't have much time. Eve will be up around six." They all looked at him. "Eve. Their baby." Several jaws dropped. Oh right, they hadn't seen that file yet. "Just go, Xander. Go."


It had been a couple hours since Xander and Anya had returned with the uniform. Angel had looked at it with distaste, but he tried it on without too much complaint. "I am not wearing those pants," he said.

Willow agreed that the pants wouldn't cut it. Too short. He'd have to wear his own. "It's a good thing everything you own is black. At least it still looks uniform-y."

"It's a better thing that Xander got some muscles." Angel hadn't been entirely happy that the shirt fit. He zipped up the jacket. "So what do I do?"

Willow had been on the Web for almost an hour before she finally found what she was looking for: streaming video of a UPS deliveryman bringing a package up to someone's front door. Of course, she had found it on UPS Australia's website and the Sydney Opera House was off in the distance, but she'd be replacing the background with the one from the VR program so it didn't matter. The hard part would be getting Angel to stick to the script. "Watch this."

They watched as the man approached the front door with two packages, rang the doorbell, made some small talk, and handed over a clipboard to sign. He took it back, checked in the next package, made some more small talk, and got one more signature. Then he handed over the boxes, said "Have a nice day," turned and walked away.

"Memorize this," said Willow. "You're going to need to do exactly the same things he's doing." She got up. "I'm getting some pizza before it's all gone."

Graham had tried sleeping but he was too worked up. He had spent the last two hours watching Willow surf the Web and trying to ignore Angel's presence. The second part had been easy since Angel seemed to be ignoring him right back. Who was he kidding? The first part was pretty easy, too; Willow was kind of cute. He followed her to the counter and sat on the stool next to her. "You really think this will work?"

"Darn tootin.'"

"You're actually sending him into the program? He'll really be in there? In the computer?" Graham couldn't really believe that that was what they intended to do.

"Think Star Trek. Beam me up, Scotty. Or down. In?" She cocked her head. "Hmph."

"Earth to Uhura. So why the video? Where does that come in?"

"Angel will be in there, but it would be better if they don't see him and figure out who he is. I'll superimpose the guy from the video over Angel's image. As long as Angel follows the same movements, we should be o.k."

"The tech guys have been doing this for four months and they're still working out the kinks; this is your first try. You think you're ready for this?" Graham's tone was softer than the one he had used with Angel, but the challenge was still there.

Willow was thinking that the ability to switch to a vampire face had its moments, but she could see Graham was about to jump off the cliff of desperation. She put her hand on his. "I know what it's like to see a friend die. We're not going to let that happen. We're going to make this work." She took her hand away and pretended she didn't see the tears in Graham's eyes. "Besides, you saw my transcripts. I got an A in advanced graphic design. I can do video. I'm ready."

Willow sounded more confident than she felt. But she really did think they had a shot at making this work. The military may have gotten far with what they could do inside the VR program, but the external view wasn't exactly HDTV. And hopefully they'd be too busy trying to i.d. the UPS guy and wouldn't pay too much attention to any fuzzy edges.

"Hey - who ate the last piece?" Xander had just come downstairs. He had tried sleeping too, but he couldn't stop thinking about Buffy and Riley and bad endings. And he wasn't thrilled about Willow being alone with Angel and Graham. "Did 'ya figure out how to email Angel? FTP him into Fort Dixonville? I'm thinking that'll be worth seeing." He put on his innocent face as Angel glared at him. "What?"

Graham looked at Xander. "You actually understand what she's trying to do?"

Xander put his hand on Graham's shoulder and replied, "Absolutely no clue. But you will soon learn that it's much easier to just play along. Anything else gets you into trouble."

Graham turned back to Willow. "How will Angel be able to talk to them without the Army hearing it? Everything they say is being recorded."

"Got it covered," Willow said as she crumpled up her napkin and got up to throw it away. She went over to the table and sat down next to Angel. "When you get in there, you need to do exactly what that guy's doing." She pointed at the UPS man on the screen. "Walk to the door, ring the doorbell, get the signatures…"

"I get it," Angel snapped. "But how do you know they'll go along with this? They're going to want an explanation."

"I'm writing them one; we'll tape it to the boxes."

"Wait," said Graham, "the boxes are real too? Are you sure you can mix it up like that? The Riley and Buffy in the program are computerized images. I don't think it works that way."

Willow tried to keep the exasperation out of her voice. "Angel - and whatever he's wearing, carrying - goes digital when we send him in. This isn't computers, it's magic. It does things like that. I know it's hard if you're not used to it, but we don't have time for the tutorial. You have to trust us."

Graham reminded himself that these were the people who took down Adam; the ones Riley had trusted. He had to believe that they could do this. "O.k., o.k. I trust you," Graham said. "What goes in the boxes?"

"Notebooks. So they can talk to each other without the Army listening in. My note will tell them what's happening, but they'll need to talk to each other too. And us." She turned to Angel. "We're counting on them being surprised. They've each seen enough weird things to be cautious when they see you. That's when you hand the clipboard over and tell them to read the note. You have a second chance when you have them sign for the second box. But that's all you get."

"You're sure they'll be able to see me?" Angel asked.

"As sure as I can be. But if it makes you happier, you can ask them. Just not out loud; write it on the clipboard." Angel nodded as Willow continued, "You'll need to say as little as possible, I'll mask what I can - but that will be hard enough. And stick to the motions on the video - no improv. That will be harder to cover up."


By the time light began to filter through the windows, they were as ready as they could possibly be. After seeing the Scoobies work through the night, Graham actually thought there was a chance this might work. This was the exact opposite of everything he was used to, but it was as smoothly run as any military operation he had been part of.

Willow took a deep breath. There, she thought as the image of the basement came up on the computer at Giles' desk. They were going to need both his computer and her laptop to make it all work. She was so glad he hadn't disconnected his phone lines yet. She had also been really happy he hadn't packed up his computer until he reminded her that she had said she would do it and send it to him. Oops. "Xander, Giles - it's ready." They would sit at the computer and monitor the same image that the Army guys would be watching. She had split the screen so that one half would follow Riley and Buffy, and one would show what Riley wrote on the laptop. At least that's what she hoped it would do. She had come across that part of the program at about 4:15 a.m. and wasn't positive she had read the files right. "Anya?"

"Ready." Anya would do the teleportation spell and would be the anchor connecting Angel back to the world outside the computer.

Even with over 1300 years experience between the two of them, Angel wasn't what you'd call confident. "Are you sure this is the only way? Maybe we should try getting to them through Riley's laptop…"

"That would actually be really easy, but way too obvious; the Army guys would know immediately that something was wrong. They'll probably figure out there's a hacker pretty soon after we do it, but at least this way we buy some time," said Willow.

Anything that would buy time was a good thing in Graham's book. Right now they were concentrating on getting this message through. It had taken all night to figure out, but it wasn't even the overall concern. That was to get Riley and Buffy out. And if figuring out how to send them a lousy note had taken all night, then making a plan to set them free was going to take a hell of a lot longer.

But first things first. At this point Graham was mostly just an observer. He'd be on the lookout for any red flags from the Army perspective and he'd be monitoring the medical readings that were linked to the VR program, but there wasn't much else he could do. It was all up to Willow, Angel, and Anya. Maybe whatever Ripley planted would have some effect, but the Army guys didn't know how unpredictable Riley and Buffy could be. Green and Ellis wanted to keep Riley alive, but they could only react. There was no margin for error here. Willow and Angel knew Buffy better than anyone. He hated to admit it, but they probably knew Riley better too, understood him more than even Graham did. They'd make sure the message got through; they were Riley's best chance at survival. And right now, that was all Graham was asking for.


Riley woke to Buffy in his arms. She had snuggled in against him so that her back was to him; she held his hands against her stomach. He kissed the back of her neck and she sighed. He moved his hands down the front of her legs, closing his eyes as he felt the incredibly soft skin on the inside of her thighs. That spot was one of the things he thought about during those long, long days. He had gone to the jungle to get away from her, but the vision of her, the memory of her scent, the taste of her lips - those were the things that kept him sane. Masochistic maybe, but sane. The demons had their brand of torture; he had imposed his own.

Buffy sighed and shifted her legs, guiding his hands up further. He breathed her in. For a moment, he had forgotten she was real. How was that possible? Memories of Belize were flooding his brain and the present seemed foggier than the past. He tried to shake it off and focus on her as he swallowed the bile that had risen in his throat…

She turned to him and brought one leg up between his knees, rubbed up against him. "Morning." She kissed his chest.

He smiled into her eyes. Waking up with her body on his. Another vision from Belize. The thing was on top of him. Pulling at him. Cutting into him. Exploring his body. He closed his eyes against the image, pushed her away.

"Riley?" His reaction caught her off guard. He seemed unfocused, bewildered. She grabbed his head in her hands and looked into his eyes. "Riley!"

Her sharp tone brought him back to her. Flashbacks - it was only a flashback. "Buffy." He pulled her to him again. Hugged her so tightly she thought she would break. The blanket had fallen away and she felt his body stiffen. "That shirt…" That smell - like in the jungle… "Take it off."

His voice sounded odd, tense. "Are you sure… Do you want to…?"

"Take it off." It was an order.

Ice cold. She wouldn't have recognized it as his voice if she hadn't seen him speak the words. No, this was not an invitation. She took off the shirt and threw it aside. He was looking at her body but not seeing her. She grabbed her bra from off the floor and put it on quickly. She felt uncomfortable…like she was naked in front of a stranger.

She stood up and found her pants and his. Threw them to him; put hers on. She couldn't figure this out; things were still wrong. Even after last night. It used to be one touch could make things right again. Or maybe that was their problem - should have had more talk, less touch.

She could hear him pulling on his jeans. She turned to him as he was picking up the blanket. Something fell to the floor. He bent to pick it up and froze. His look was haunted as he raised his eyes to hers, sank down against the wall until he was sitting on the floor. She crossed to him in two steps and took him into her arms just as the tears came. His grief was palpable. She held him tightly as he cried.


"What? What?!" Graham asked as Riley's heart rate started to rise. Graham watched it climb as he strained to hear the voices coming from the computer across the room. He saw Giles and Angel each look away from the screen; Xander jumped to his feet and walked away.

Anya tenderly touched her hand to the screen. She turned her head to Graham. "He's crying," she said softly. Graham started to get up but he caught the look in Xander's eyes.

No. Don't watch this. Xander watched Graham sit back down. Xander didn't like seeing Buffy and Riley like this. It was worse then he had bargained for. Unnatural. He hadn't liked watching them implode the first time around; this was really going to suck.

Giles squeezed Anya's shoulder and turned to Willow and Graham. They were watching the levels on the screen.

"He's doing o.k., Graham. He's o.k." Willow's voice was reassuring. Riley's heart rate had returned to a normal level. "What's happening, Giles?"


"I'm o.k.; I'm o.k." Riley's breath had steadied. His eyes were red and he trembled slightly. He reached out to pick up the stones, then leaned back against the wall. He picked through them one by one. She sat against the wall next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder, her hand on his thigh.

"You read what I wrote, didn't you?" Riley felt her nod her head. He should have known. She couldn't just let things be. She always had to ask her questions.

"Riley, please tell me."

She had no right to ask; not after closing herself off to him so many years ago. He looked her in the eye. His voice was cold. "Are you sure you're ready for that? Sure you're ready to let me in?"

Buffy cringed at the harshness of his tone. "Of course. I want to help."

Just another victim that needed helping, thought Riley. "Fine. You want to know? You want to know how they opened me up? Over and over again. They were studying me, studying humans. The caves were a lab; to study how our bodies work. How the human body reacts to stress and pain. Except they didn't have machines to monitor you, they liked to taste it in your blood - peel your skin back and drain you almost dry." He saw the look pass through her eyes; brief, but it was there. "What I deserve. You think?"

She didn't trust herself to speak; she was numb. Filled with regret for so many things: That he could think even a part of her thought what happened to him was justice of some sort. That she had been so harsh the night he left. That she hadn't been there for him when his world crumbled, hadn't told him she understood the horror and helplessness of normalcy. That she hadn't seen past her pain to his, but instead forced him into a choice between black and white after showing him a world full of gray.

He stood up and walked away from her, disgusted with himself for expecting a reaction. Hadn't he learned this lesson already? He didn't want to be touching her. "They also liked to see how humans reacted to watching other humans die. For some reason they particularly liked to see how I reacted." He turned back to her. "Can you help, Buffy? How exactly can you help me deal with this?" He was pacing, the chain still in his hands, stones clinking together.

If only she could turn back time. Be there for him the way he had always been there for her. "What do you need from me?" Please let me fix this.

"I don't need anything from you. I just wanted you to love me. All I wanted was for you to love me."

The ultimate regret - that she could never just say the words. Why was it so hard for her to tell him that? "Do they know? Does the Army know what happened to you there?" Buffy asked, hating herself for changing the subject.


"Do you know what happened down there?" Giles asked Graham.

Graham had tried to forget what Riley looked like when they brought him out of the jungle. "He was in really bad shape when we found him. It wasn't your normal demon brand of carnage; the injuries were too extensive, too methodical. Clinical."

"We did kill Adam, right?" Xander asked. "He didn't have time to set up his army of dissecting demons, did he? Freaky. Way too freaky. You think the Initiative knew?"

Until Xander mentioned Adam, Graham hadn't thought of it that way, but Xander was right: the demons hadn't just been attacking, they had been studying the way they fought and, apparently, how their bodies worked. Had the Initiative - or whatever was left of it - known? Graham had been told by Ellis that their mission was to destroy the demon caves; Dixon's orders had been more specific, but no more enlightening. That's not the kind of information they usually held back, but after seeing Dixon play with Riley's life, Graham couldn't help but wonder. He refocused his attention on the computer screen.


"Of course they…" Riley stopped. He thought back to his last communication with Dixon. Dixon said they had uncovered some information about the demons, that there had been some connection with the Initiative. Dixon was planning to pull the team out in light of this new information; he said Ellis would officially call in the order later that day. Riley had been so focused on his own concerns, that he hadn't had a chance to ask Graham or Taggart if they had ever seen these demons before. Then Ellis' order came and things got out of control soon after.

Had he talked to Graham about it since then? He had no memory of doing so. Maybe that was the whole point of this report he had to write for the training program. He glanced down at his arm, trying to remember how he had explained the scars. But there was nothing there. His chest…? Where were the scars? His mind was playing tricks again. The scars had to be there. There had been too much damage for his body to have healed completely, even after all this time.

Buffy sat there, watching Riley; he seemed able to move on - he had long ago gotten good at brushing off her avoidance of the subject - but that just made it worse. The images in her brain were so vivid: Riley's descent into hell on earth, Angel's look as she thrust the sword through him, Dawn atop the tower with drops of blood at her feet. How was it that she deserved heaven after sending so many of those she loved into hell? Her voice was quiet, "I'm sorry, Riley. So sorry."

He could barely hear her. He came toward her. "Why are you sorry? Why, Buffy? It was my choice; I knew what I was doing. Or did you think I couldn't handle that either?"

She had started to shake. She was mumbling. Her head had sunk into her hands and he could barely hear what she was saying. "But I did love you. I do. I don't know how to make you understand that."

She wasn't making sense. He had never seen her lose control over anything and now it was twice in one night. He wanted to comfort her but he knew if he held her, he would fall all over again and he couldn't do that. He was afraid he might believe that this crying was for him, for them. That would have changed everything. But this needed to be over. His voice was cruel when he spoke. "Meeting the helicopter would have helped…"

Oh, Riley. She looked up at him. "But I did. I did. You never looked down."

No. Not that. Please don't say that. His knees gave way and he sank to the floor. He closed his eyes. The world was spinning. Could he have been that wrong? Messed up his life in such a total, complete way? Or was this all some weird dream? No, not a dream - a nightmare.


"So much for the memory implants."

Green glared at Brown. "Just a little marriage spat."

Ellis didn't hear them; he was lost in thought. Dixon and Ward hadn't said anything about the Initiative, nor had Miller or Taggart. Ellis was thinking of Riley's words, his scars. The medical team in Belize had been in triage mode, but once they got to Sunnydale, the doctors had had to reopen the wounds in order to put him back together again. Humpty Dumpty in flesh and blood. They attributed his ability to heal to residual drugs from the Initiative; there was no other explanation. Riley's condition had been so severe that there was no discussion of how precisely he had gotten that way.

Ellis watched the monitor as Riley looked down at his arms. Could Finn have radioed Dixon after the others left? He never responded when they tried to contact him, but it was a radio transmission that had set off this whole salvage operation. "Su amigo está vivo." Your friend is alive. So yes, the radios were still working. Did Dixon know the demons were studying anatomy? Performing experiments? It all sounded very Walsh-like. Ellis walked over to the General.


Now it was Buffy's turn to be surprised. She knew he had never turned to look down, but she had always believed that he knew she had come. That he had sensed it somehow. But by that point, their bond was too fragile, their connection had already been broken. "Couldn't you hear me? I shouted for you. Until my voice was gone."

Riley closed his eyes. This was too much to process; too many truths had been shaken. She didn't love him; but she did. He should be dead and buried in some shallow grave in the jungle; but he was here in this house, with her and this beautiful baby. A dream; but not.

He felt her hands in his hair, her mouth on his. Tried to push her away. Not now, he couldn't do this now. He needed to think, to get his bearings, but she wouldn't let him go. Her arms were around him, holding him tightly. He looked at her, shaking his head, "Buffy…"

"Hush. No talk." She knew if he started talking that she might lose him again and she wasn't going to let that happen.


Graham watched as Riley's heart rate started to climb again. "What's happening, Xander?"

Xander was uncharacteristically quiet.

Giles spoke. "Anya, Willow. Now would be a good time."

Willow's hands started tapping at the keyboard. Graham watched as Anya and Angel moved to the circle and began the spell. He wanted to believe that Ellis and Green would be fighting for Riley, but with Dixon around, Graham couldn't trust anything Army right now. The Scoobies were Riley's best shot.


Agony, but of a different kind. Riley's mind was flooded with images. A picnic at Rugg's Field. A dark clocktower. He closed his eyes against the movies playing on fast forward, running through his head. A graveyard. A helicopter pad in the woods. A dungeon in the jungle. This is not real, he told himself. It can't be.

But it was. It was Buffy's arms holding him down, her mouth on his body… Her hair brushed his stomach as she moved her head down. She unzipped his jeans and eased them down past his hips. Her hands were underneath him, pulling him to her. She made him feel alive - blood coursed through his veins like an electric current, every nerve responded to her touch.

He was lost in her. Always had been, no matter how hard he tried to let her go. He couldn't remember ever wanting her the way he did now. She was moving her head up his chest, kissing him where the scars should be. Her hands were all over him. This wasn't right; there was no happy ending for them. She had told him that all too clearly; several times. So had Spike, so had Dawn. Even Willow said they were doomed. But he was still fighting it. He had to stop fighting it. He clutched the table…


"They're not stopping. Where's Angel?" Xander asked. Angel was gone, but Xander didn't see him on the monitor.

"He's there. I've got the doorbell ringing as loud as it can go." Willow's fingers were flying.

"What's happening? Did something go wrong?" Graham asked. The readings were still rising.

Giles said, "Willow - is there something else you can try?"

Willow looked up at Giles. "Can you hear the doorbell?"

"It's there. They're not hearing it. Can you do something to the table? Make it disappear?"

"Too obvious. Where's the table? In relation to them I mean."

"Next to them. Riley's holding onto the table leg."

Willow scanned the program files. "O.k., I see it. That I can do," Willow muttered to herself. She typed furiously. "Got it!" She smiled in triumph.


The table leg snapped in his hand and the table collapsed onto them sending boxes tumbling on top of their heads.

Buffy pushed a box off of her. They both looked at the table leg Riley was holding. "You broke the table." She started laughing.

"Did I really just do that?" Riley smiled, but he looked puzzled. He looked at the table and the pile of boxes. "I couldn't even do push-ups yesterday."

Buffy knocked a box aside and put her arms around him. "I think you got your strength back." She thought he looked content for the first time in recent memory. "Are we o.k.?" she asked softly.

He reached his hand out to her face. She grabbed it and held it to her lips. Flesh and blood. "Better. Much better," he said. He brushed his lips against hers. He finally noticed that the doorbell was ringing and Eve was crying. "We need to get dressed." He was out of breath, and his heart was pounding, but he felt at peace. He surrendered to the dream - whatever this was, he would take it, for as long as he could. He hadn't felt that way in a long while. "You get Eve, I'll get the door."


Green breathed a sigh of relief. "That was close. Did you do that, Brown? Break the table?"

"Wasn't me. I don't know how to do that. It was all him," Brown said as he shook his head and got up from the computer. "I need coffee. Halloran, take over for me."

"Major? General? I think we should be o.k. for now. Can I get you anything from the Mess?" Green asked.

Ellis shook his head no and waited until Brown and Green had left the room before speaking to Dixon. "Did you know? Did Finn tell you?"

Dixon looked at Ellis and shook his head. "The last I spoke to Finn was a couple of hours before you gave the order to abort the mission. I had no idea the demons had gotten that far."

"Is there a connection to the Initiative?"

Dixon had planned to tell Ellis eventually. Now was as good a time as any. Dixon nodded,"It was one of Walsh's projects. Before Adam."

"What are they?"

"Vampires. An animal form. They had no interest in humans. Walsh thought we could learn more about vampire behavior from them, use the knowledge to neutralize the human forms."

"And?"

Dixon shrugged. "It wasn't going anywhere; the chips were more promising. We couldn't figure out how to kill them though - and every time we tried something, they just got angrier. We couldn't release them; they were just being held until we could come up with another plan."

"But then Adam opened the gates and they got out."

"We weren't sure which of the demons escaped. But then we started to get descriptions of this new breed in Belize and it sounded like them."

"Did any of the Initiative men confirm it?"

"The demons were being held in the research area; as far as we know, our four guys never saw them before."

"Did the demons ever see Riley? They seem to have singled him out."

"They must have; or at least heard his name. Riley was Maggie's favorite; she could easily have mentioned him. It's pretty clear they studied everything about our team before they killed, they could have identified Riley during one of their recons."

"Why did they kill? You said they hadn't harmed humans before."

"I've been trying to figure that out for a year now. I think that they sat in those cages for months, doing nothing but watching…"

"So they figured: why not do the same? Control the humans. Start small in a place that no one will notice; then make their move."

"It wasn't just a test, Ellis; we chose Belize for a reason. Those demons needed to be destroyed. We just didn't think we knew enough to have it actually succeed."


Riley grabbed Buffy before she went up the stairs to get Eve. He needed to kiss her again. If this was borrowed time, he didn't want to waste a second of it. The sun was just peeking over the horizon as he opened the door. "A little early for a delivery…" His jaw dropped open. The man standing there didn't belong here. Not in daylight. Not in that uniform.

"Package, sir." Angel watched Riley's reaction carefully. He thought Riley recognized him, but Riley hadn't said anything yet. Hadn't closed his mouth yet. So far, so good.

"I need you to sign here." Angel was holding something out to Riley.

Riley glanced at it. A clipboard. What the hell was going on? Why would Angel be standing there?

"Sir?"

Right. Riley looked down to sign his name and noticed there was something already written there.

Do you know me?

He looked up quickly at Angel. "What…?"

Angel interrupted him. He took the clipboard back and made an adjustment. "You need to sign for both boxes." Handed it back.

Riley looked down again.

They don't know. Read the note.

Buffy came up behind Riley, carrying Eve. "Honey, who's at the…" The sight of Angel in a UPS uniform almost made her burst out laughing. "…door?" Well, this was entirely too bizarre. She took a step towards Angel and was about to say something when he gave her a look that silenced her.

"Mrs. Finn." Angel couldn't believe he had just called her that. He wanted to be out of there. Badly.

Riley and Buffy both looked at Angel and then at each other. It was the first time they had heard her addressed that way. It was kind of nice. But weird. Really weird. Especially coming from Angel. Something was definitely wrong with this situation.

Angel cleared his throat. "I have other deliveries…"

"Oh right. Sorry." Riley reached out to take the boxes. "Thanks. Oh - would you like to come in?"

Angel smiled. "Some other time. Thanks." As he handed over the packages, he tapped on the note. "Have a nice day."

Riley looked down as Angel turned to leave. Riley closed the door and started to read.


They burst out cheering. Graham grabbed Willow and gave her a huge kiss. "You did it! That was amazing. You guys are incredible."

Willow was on pure adrenaline. "Whoo. That was fun. Angel did great. Riley too! He even remembered to invite him in." She looked to where Anya was sitting, still in a trance. "Phew. O.k. That was good."

For the first time in twelve hours, Graham felt like he could breathe. He had gotten up and was pouring himself a cup of coffee when he heard Giles say, "What is that blasted noise?"

Graham's mind had been wandering and he hadn't heard his cell phone ringing. He hadn't been part of a family like this since Walsh died and everything got crazy; he had forgotten he didn't actually belong here. He pulled out the phone, listened for a minute and then turned to Giles.

Giles asked, "The UPS man?"

Graham nodded. "They want me back at the Base. I think you have some time before they trace you, but be careful. It's probably not safe to do too much in the program. I'll try and warn you if they're getting close." He headed for the door.

"Wait - what happens now?" Xander asked.

"Nothing. Don't do anything," said Graham. "Not until I see what's happening at the Base."

They hadn't noticed Angel appear next to Anya, but he had been there long enough to hear the exchange. He came at Graham. "Nothing? You expect us to just sit here…?"

"You bought us some time; they're safe for now. Ellis has no interest in keeping them in there; we'll be doing everything we can to get them out."

"That's kind of a different tune than the one you were singing last night," said Xander. "Now we're supposed to trust the Army?"

Graham knew Xander was right, but they had come through already; now it was Graham's turn. "No - trust me. I know what it sounds like. But let me find out what the plan is; if it's at all questionable, I'll help you storm the base myself." He was a bit surprised to realize he meant it.

Giles finally spoke. "He has a point. We're in no position to get them out; not right now."

"How long are we supposed to wait?" asked Angel.

Graham had no love for Angel, but he understood the anger behind the question. He had said the same thing to Ellis the night before. "Give me today. I've spent the last year trying to keep Riley alive. I'm not going to do anything to change that now."

"And Buffy?" Angel asked.

"You put her there," Xander said to Graham. "Why should we believe you'll be looking out for her too?"

"I know you barely know me, but you know Riley. You know he'd die for her even after what she did to him." Graham hadn't meant for that to slip out, but no one challenged it. "Sorry. I just meant… After what you all just did? For the first time since this whole thing started, I actually think he has a chance here. And if he comes out of this and finds out that I've done something to hurt her, he'd kill me. Without a second thought." He looked at Angel. "I have absolutely no doubt."

Angel nodded. "One day." He had seen enough of Riley to know Graham spoke the truth. "You have one day."

Giles asked Graham, "Is there a way we can reach you if necessary?"

Graham wrote down his beeper and phone numbers and handed them to Giles. "And you? Are the phone lines all tied up?"

Anya gave Graham her cell phone number. Giles walked Graham to the door. "This was probably difficult for you. I know how hard it was for Riley to come to terms with the way we do things."

Graham gave Giles a sad smile. He had understood so little of what Riley had gone through. "Yeah, but Xander's right; it's my fault this is all happening. Riley really loved you guys. I'm starting to see why."

Giles was surprised at how touched he was by that. "Well, we're fond of him, too. When you see him, please tell him that we miss having him around."

When, not if. So they thought there was a chance, too. "I will, Mr. Giles. I will."


Buffy and Eve followed Riley as he carried the boxes over to the table in the dining room. "Don't you think it was funny that Eve didn't react? Babies always react to…"

Riley held out his hand to stop her from talking. "UPS men? Yeah, it must be the uniform. You want some coffee? I'm going to make some coffee." He handed her the piece of paper that had been taped to the box, picked up Eve and left the room.

Dear Buffy and Riley,

We miss you and we love you!

This must be from Willow, Buffy thought. But why was she sending packages through Angel? And why make him wear that ridiculous uniform? Stop asking questions and just read the damn letter! Sometimes she drove herself crazy.

Don't get carried away with the smootchies. I wish I were kidding about that but I'm not. It might kill you. Do I have your attention?

You are being watched by a lot of people. They put you there. It's kind of like a spell. We're working on breaking it but right now just be careful.

I'm sending you a box of notepads and a box of pens. Anything you write using this stuff is safe. Everything else (especially Riley's laptop!!!!) is compromised. (See Riley? I can talk Army!) You can communicate with us through the white notepads but we can't respond, it may blow our cover.

Graham is helping us but he is being watched so it may not seem like it. We will get in touch again soon but in the meantime we will be working to get you out of there.

Love,

Willow and the Scooby Gang

P.S. There are some yellow notepads too. I thought you might have some things you need to say to each other without anyone else watching. They're safe.

P.P.S. I'm masking the notepads so that the people watching can't see them, but you need to only write on them when you're sitting at the kitchen table. It will look like you're doing a crossword puzzle so don't spill the beans! Thanks!

Oh. Buffy put the letter down and started opening the boxes. She brought the letter, notebooks and pens into the kitchen. Riley was sitting at the table and staring off into space. He had put Eve in her high chair and she was happily eating her cereal. Buffy walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder. He tensed, but he placed his hand on hers and squeezed.

She got a bowl of cereal and started cutting a banana. So her feelings of uneasiness hadn't been unfounded. Something had been wrong. Very wrong. She had tried so hard to ignore what her Slayer senses had been screaming; had wanted so much to believe that this was real. That she had passed some Slayer test and got to live happily ever after. With Riley.

She looked over at him. Something had changed between them; they had crossed over a line that they hadn't been able to get to before. Was that what he had needed? For her to cry for him? She thought she had shared so much with him, but it wasn't until this morning that she realized how much she had held back. Xander would have been proud. She brought the bowl over to the table.

Riley looked up at her with a sad smile. He grabbed a notepad. Then hesitated.

She took out the letter and pointed to the bottom. Yellow.

He picked up the other one and started to write. Did last night really happen? Are you real?

She picked up another pen. Yes. Very. You?

He frowned at her. He started to write but then stopped. He didn't know what to say.

She took the notebook from him. She wrote it to both of us. It means that we're both fine. Crossed out the last word. Alive.

He nodded. Is Eve real?

They both turned to look at her. She was singing to herself. Buffy started writing again. Don't know. Maybe she's like Dawn.

He looked at her questioningly. That's right, he hadn't known. He had left before she told them. Never mind. When we get out of here. She could feel him go cold and started writing again. I PROMISE. Very long story. Hand already tired.

She could tell he didn't believe her. That was what started them down this road in the first place. How best to put this? Dawn = Energy. Energy = Key. Key opens demon dimensions. End of world. Again. He looked puzzled. See? Big, long story.

He smiled and held up his hand. O.k. Fine. I believe you.

She said, "What do you think it is?"

"Four letters," he replied. He had been thinking about that while he was getting breakfast together. He wrote: Army. He hoped it wasn't true, but he was pretty certain. Why else would Graham be involved?

She nodded. Why? Belize?

What else?

She thought for a minute; she didn't want to start something again but she was never good at holding back her questions. Faith?

Hadn't she heard what he said last night? Not Faith. She wasn't there.

Buffy's face flushed. So she had heard him right. Then who?

He shook his head. Long story. Now my hand hurts. Later. Promise. If we get out of here alive, that is.

She wasn't happy about it but he wasn't going to go any further. What next?

I guess we wait. He pushed aside his bowl and started singing with Eve. He grabbed Buffy's hand and squeezed. Then he took Eve out of the chair and held her on his lap. There were tears in his eyes when he spoke, "I just want to hold her a little."

Buffy nodded and looked down. She didn't think they would be taking Eve with them when they left. Clearly, he thought the same. She noticed he had grabbed a white notepad. She got up to clear her bowl and glanced over his shoulder to read what he wrote as she picked up his dish.

Thanks, Willow. I missed you guys too.

She walked to the sink and heard Eve say, "Daddy - more songs." She turned on the water and hoped whoever was watching wouldn't see her crying.


Graham walked in to find utter chaos. He went over to where Ripley was sitting by the monitors watching Riley at the kitchen table with Eve. "What's going on?"

"Something weird happened. They got a package delivery."

"So?"

"So we didn't do it."

"Oh." Graham wasn't sure how to respond but it didn't seem to matter. Ripley was too distracted to notice his reaction.

"We didn't realize it at first. Brown and Green were down at the Mess. Halloran was covering. He had been told to watch for particular behaviors, he didn't know the delivery wasn't part of the program."

"How did you know about it? Did you see who delivered it?"

"Green came in and noticed some boxes on the dining room table. We asked Halloran and he said that some UPS guy had delivered them but nothing seemed out of place."

"How is this possible?"

"We don't know. We ran the tape through the database and there are no matches on the delivery guy. We're looking for the hackers. It's probably some high school geeks who saw a fun program to tap into. We don't think there's any danger to Riley or Buffy but we're being careful."

"Graham." Ellis had just walked in the room. "Glad you're here. You hear what happened?"

"The hackers?"

"Yeah. We're looking into it."

"Can you trace where it's coming from?" Graham turned to Ripley as Ellis shrugged.

"Absolutely. As long as they're not using our passwords of course. That would be a much bigger investigation."

Huge sigh of relief. "Keep me updated, Ripley. I want to know if you figure anything out." He looked at Ellis.

Ellis was walking out the door. "C'mon Miller. We need to talk."


Willow was tired of talking about whether or not Graham would come through. "He told us what he knew. He didn't need to do that." She found she got irritated much more easily these days and trying to concentrate on what was happening on the screen in front of her while listening to the conversation around her wasn't helping. "I think he'll do whatever he has to for Riley."

"Now you're an expert on Army guys, too?" muttered Anya.

Xander glared at Anya and then forced a smile to his face and turned to Angel. "So big guy, what's it like flying through cyberspace?"

"Hell of a ride. I'm glad it never occurred to me to ask what would happen if it didn't work."

"Yeah, kind of like that A-ha video."

"Xander, whatever are you talking about?" Giles had moved to where Graham had been sitting at the table next to Willow.

"Well, there was this guy and somehow he got transported into a cartoon and he was getting chased and that was a rhetorical question, wasn't it?"

"Willow." Giles' voice was sharp. "I think you have a message."

Willow turned back to the computer. "It worked!" She sounded surprised.

"Did you doubt it?"

"Well… This is all too out there to really think about too much. If you do, it doesn't make any sense. Better to just go with it."

"Great." Giles was glad that Graham wasn't around to hear that.


"You understand what you need to do?" Ellis asked.

"Yeah, I think I can manage it." Graham was having a hard time concentrating. Ellis had told him about the conversation with the General. So it was true. Not only were the demons starting their own Initiative, but they had learned what they knew from Professor Walsh. She had dedicated her life to stopping demons and in the end her legacy was the monsters she had created. "Riley just needs to answer these questions, right?" Graham couldn't believe it might actually be that simple. "Dixon is going to let them out of there, isn't he?"

"He wants Riley alive. That's the whole point. As soon as Riley comes clean, we can be done with this," Ellis said. "Be careful in there - we don't know how Riley and Buffy are going to react to you. Green thinks they're beginning to realize that this is a set-up of some kind. Something happened this morning; they're acting differently. We can't tell if it's something the hackers did or if being together has set something off. Either way, we don't have a lot of time."

Graham had already suited up and was ready to go in. Part of him wanted to stay here and make sure that Ripley wouldn't find Willow and the others, but he also was glad that he was the only one that could go in. He wanted to see his friend.

"Ready?"

Graham nodded.


There was a knock on the door. Buffy opened the door to see Graham standing there. He looked like he was afraid she'd bite his head off.

"Graham, please come in." Her voice was warm as she held out her hand to him.

Incredible relief. The note had worked. Willow had come through all the way. He smiled back. "You're looking much better. Happy even. Imagine that."

"It's good to see friends again."

Graham nodded. They had entered the Living Room.

Riley stood. He crossed the room to Graham and grabbed him in a big bear hug. "Sorry about yesterday. I guess I was in another world."

Graham clasped his shoulder. "You look better. Much better. We were worried about you."

They all just stood and looked at each other.

"Somebody talk already." Buffy broke the silence. "I'm sure this isn't just a social call."

Graham had almost forgotten that he had a role to play. "Right. Yeah, well. Ellis was happy with the stuff you were able to send in yesterday."

"But?"

Graham handed Riley a file. "Here's an outline for the rest of the report; the things that the training program will be covering. I know it's a tight deadline, but they'd really like a draft by the end of the day."

Riley opened the folder. They had put it all in military jargon, but it came down to four things: mutiny, friends, stakes and escape. Well that about covered it. "I guess I have some work to do." He looked up at Graham. "You want to hang? Play some ball?"

Graham glanced at Buffy; she looked worried. He wanted to say yes and make this all go away, but a game of one on one wasn't something Riley could handle right now. "Later, Ry. After you finish the report. I need to get going." He walked out.


Riley started up the computer. Buffy had agreed to stay in the room playing with Eve while he worked. He didn't know what was real and what was created but he knew that as creepy as it was to know they were being watched, he loved being with Buffy and Eve here in their house. He wasn't ready to let them out of his sight yet.

He listened to them telling stories for awhile before he started typing. Where did he leave off?

Right. After the others left. He had been glad to get rid of them.

They were too innocent and the Army had no business sending them on this mission.

He probably shouldn't have written that but he was beyond caring what the Army wanted to hear. He had reached that point back in Belize, when Dixon refused to send the men back. When the order was reversed, Riley had thought he wouldn't have to make anymore hard decisions. He had been wrong. He had made the decision about the mutiny on his own; he had known there wouldn't be any hell to pay. He knew he wasn't coming back.

But first things first. They wanted to know about the vampires. The good ones.

The day after Graham and the others had left, the demons had swept in again. Despite our casualties up until this point, it could have been worse. A...

No. No names. He would talk about the vampires but the Army didn't need to know names. Start again; at the beginning.

The week before the first attack, Agent Miller and I were patrolling the perimeter of the camp. Miller stopped to...

How much detail did he really need to go into? Delete, delete, delete.

I had gone about 30 yards ahead of him when I realized that I wasn't alone. At first I thought it was one of the demons we were hunting, but when I turned, I realized it was a man. A vampire.

Riley hadn't recognized him at first. He had been so stunned to see someone standing there; it took him a second to adjust.

"Riley Finn."

"What…?" Angel? How was this possible? "Where did you come from? Why are you here?"

"I hear things. The Army's not the only one concerned about what's happening down here."

"How do you know what's…?" Riley broke off. Of course Angel would know. A world away and Angel was still in his face. Unbelievable. "You should leave. This is dangerous."

Angel laughed. "Really? I don't usually worry about that."

Asshole. "I meant that there's a team of 70 armed men about 100 yards in that direction who are looking to hunt hostiles."

"Do you know what you're hunting?"

"No." What was going on here? "Do you?"

"These guys are bad, Riley. Really bad."

"That's why we're here."

They heard footsteps behind them. Angel stepped back a few paces, not turning his back on Riley. "I have to go. We'll protect you and your men as much as we can, but it's not why we're here. It would be best for you to leave." He turned and was gone.

Graham had come up behind Riley. "What did you just say?"

"What?"

"Were you saying something?"

Riley was still looking into the woods where Angel had gone. He was about to tell Graham what had just happened but thought better of it. "Yeah. Just keeping myself company."

Graham was watching the monitor as Riley typed. He remembered that day. He could have sworn he had heard something in the trees but had told himself that he was only imagining it. So someone had been there.

"This is the kind of thing we need to hear. This is good, Graham." Ellis was pleased. He wanted this whole operation over and it looked like there might be an end soon.

Riley had stopped typing; he looked over what he had written. He looked at Buffy. He had wondered if she had known, if Angel had ever told her. But it was pretty clear now that Angel hadn't said anything.

Get this over with first, then talk to Buffy. He started typing again.

I didn't see him again until after the first attack. The men were celebrating: drinks and trash talk around the campfire. They needed that. I didn't. I needed to figure out how to stop it the next time.

I had walked away from the camp. Not too far - close enough that I could still see them. I sat with my back to the group and was staring into the woods. I had been there a few minutes when I saw him standing there.

"Your men did well. Congratulations."

"They think they did well. I'll let them think that."

Angel nodded. Buffy had chosen well. "Why are you down here?"

"Buffy didn't tell you?" Riley looked down. "No, of course she wouldn't. I'm sure it barely hit her radar screen."

Angel realized that Riley didn't know; Riley didn't know that Buffy was dead. There was a time Angel would have relished the telling of that tale, the sight of a man's heart breaking all over again. But not here, not now. He wasn't going to be the one to break that news. "She really loved you. You may not believe it - and I really hate to say it - but it's true."

Riley jumped up and came at Angel. "Is there a point here? Or did she send you down here so you could make it clear exactly how useless I am?"

Angel held out his hand. "Sorry. This isn't about her. I shouldn't have said that."

"No, you shouldn't have. Is there a reason you're talking to me right now?"

"They're coming back and they're going to get mean. Maybe not this time, maybe not the next, but it will happen. You should get these men out of here. There's nothing you can do."

"You think I don't know that? I am wracking my brain and I would just love to hear your advice, but take a look at them. You think they're leaving now?" He gestured back at the group. They were clearly enjoying themselves.

Angel watched the scene around the campfire. He handed Riley a flask.

Riley took a swig and then spit it out. "What was that?"

Angel smiled wickedly and disappeared into the trees.

Riley smiled for the first time in months.


Willow and Giles had been reading what Riley wrote as he typed the words. "Oooo, a mysterious stranger." Willow was concentrating on the screen.

But Giles turned to Angel with the question in his eyes.

Angel nodded.

"You know what happened?" Giles asked.

Angel nodded again.

"Was it worth all this?" Giles arm swept the room.

"It's their cover up, not mine."

Xander had just gotten the gist of the conversation. "You didn't think we'd want to know that kind of important detail?"

"This is Riley's story to tell. He has his reasons. I'm in no position to doubt him."

Willow was waving her arm at them. "Shhh. Take it outside, I'm trying to follow this."


I didn't see him again until the night of the first fatal attack. We were being pummeled. The monsters were coming from everywhere - from behind us, from in front, from above. We could barely keep track of them, much less fight them. They anticipated every move we made; it finally came down to hand-to-hand combat, fighting on pure adrenaline. Us versus them.

I had been trying to keep track of my men, I figured the villagers could take care of themselves. They were actually doing better since their techniques were completely spontaneous - not based on any training. I was trying to hold my own against one of the hostiles when I heard a shout above me. I looked up to see Graham falling from the sky head first. He had reached out his hands. There was no way to get to him in time to break his fall.

I don't know why, but I remember thinking that. It was a bad move - it distracted me; the hostile whacked me with his tail and sent me flying. I landed on my back and I must have hit my head on something; everything went black. I came to and saw a demon diving toward me. I figured this was it when something - someone - swept down from the trees above and knocked the demon back. I got to my feet just in time to see the kill, but it didn't register right away. I looked around and noticed we had been joined by six others. Vampires. The other men didn't notice them; I wouldn't have if one hadn't saved my life. The battle started to turn.

As Riley got to his feet, another demon had come at Angel from behind. "Angel - six o'clock!"

Angel caught the knife that Riley had thrown and whirled around. He thrust the knife into the demon's gut, right between where the ribs would be. It recoiled, but came right back at Angel. "No - stake!"

"What? Oh. I don't have a…" He looked around. He was in the middle of a freakin' forest. There had to be something that would do. He grabbed at a branch, tore it off. The demon was lashing at Angel. Riley ran toward it, trying to avoid the tail. Angel was on his back with the demon towering over him, lunging. Riley dove under it and rammed the stake up into the ribs where Angel had stabbed it with a knife. There was a horrible scream and they felt the wings on top of them.

"It's dead! It's dead! Get off!" Angel's voice was muffled.

Riley realized he was covered in dust and that Angel's voice was muffled because Riley was on top of him. Riley jumped up and reached a hand down to Angel.

"If we're going to get it on like that I'd really prefer that Buffy be involved," Angel said.

Riley let go of Angel's hand. "Thanks, but no thanks."

Angel clasped his hand on Riley's shoulder and nodded his head towards another one coming at them.

Riley lunged and staked it. So they weren't demons, he thought. They were vampires. Of the bat variety. With their hearts in the wrong place. No wonder none of the weapons had worked.

Now that he knew their weakness it was a much more even fight. Riley yelled to Marcial - "Stakes! Between the ribs!" - held the stake up in his hand and motioned to his side. Couldn't think of the right words in Spanish.

Fighting with Angel was exhilarating. Riley saw where Buffy had gotten some of her moves. He had forgotten what it was like with Buffy back in the beginning. Powerful. Exciting. Pure physical energy lifting you high as a kite. They killed nine that night, but the bad guys had clearly gotten the better of them. Twelve men dead on the ground; eight missing, captured and presumed dead.

Riley had begun digging graves and those that could help, did. He made sure the wounded were attended to. And then he went off into the woods. Graham had tried to calm him down, but Riley was angrier than Graham had ever seen. Marcial wanted to go after him but Graham said no. "El necesita estar solo." He needs to be alone.


As Riley typed, Graham thought back to the fight. The searing pain as his wrists had snapped. His vision had blurred and everything was hazy. But as he watched the words appear on the screen he remembered. Remembered the face with extreme clarity. He had seen Angel before. Graham felt like the wind had been sucked out of him. Riley's protecting Angel. How could Riley be protecting a vampire? Especially this vampire - Buffy's ex.

Buffy's ex who was willing to storm an Army base all by himself just to get her out. An Army base filled with men whose sole purpose was to kill vampires. Graham could feel his insides turn. He began to understand what had happened to Riley, what made him act so crazy: Buffy made Riley question everything he believed to be true. A vampire who would die fighting for her life. A witch and thousand-year-old-whatever-Anya-was who would take on a military machine to save their friends. Maybe Riley was right. Maybe this was worth dying for.

"Did you see them?"

Graham glanced up to see Dixon in front of him. Yes. "No. I mean yes, I saw that there were others there but I never put the two together."

"You expect me to believe that? You were sitting there on the ground doing nothing and you didn't wonder where these six extra men had come from?"

Graham figured that he had already killed his career. "Have you ever actually been in a battle?" He paused. "Sir?"

Ellis stepped between them. "Do we really need to keep doing this? He's still writing. I'd like to be able to pay attention."


As Riley typed, the anger he had felt that night came back in full force. Anger at the senseless deaths of twenty men. Anger at himself for not being able to prevent the attack from happening. Anger at Dixon for putting them in that position in the first place. Dixon, who was probably watching him type each word; who was most likely pulling the strings in this puppet universe.

You knew they were vampires, didn't you? It would have been good information to have. I'd like to believe that you didn't withhold the information on how to kill them. If you did, well, the words "rotting in hell" come to mind. Anyway, you know the next part. I called you. You told me that you wouldn't pull my men out. I argued. I'll leave it at that.

Riley had called in to Dixon. Direct line. He had told the General the creatures were vampires of some type. Something Riley had never seen before. He hadn't noticed the lack of surprise.

When he told Dixon how they could be killed, Dixon asked, "How did you figure it out?"

Riley didn't quite think that Dixon would understand the idea of good vampires versus bad ones. "Field experience." Riley considered his next words carefully. He knew he probably shouldn't say anything, but what the hell? It was worth a shot. "Sir. We have six Army casualties. One dead, five missing. I request permission to send the remaining Army men back. I'd still have 36 men under my command. We could still complete the mission."

"36 men? Those are the villagers?"

"Yes."

There was silence for a moment before Dixon spoke. "Denied. We need the Army expertise. You need them in the field."

"No, sir, I don't."

"You've got a lot of nerve, son. Especially for a deserter. Do you want to give them the same reputation?"

It was nice not to care any more. "No good, General. This is a suicide mission. They'll die down here. They're just kids. Let me send them home."

"Finn - it's too bad you're not coming out of there. I might have liked having you around. Out."

"So I'm guessing that's a no?" Riley said into the empty airspace. He laughed and muttered to himself. "Damn Army." When he put his radio away, he sensed he was no longer alone. He turned to face Angel. "You got any more of what's in that flask?"

"The things she does to us," Angel said as he handed over the flask.

"Yeah. The things she does..." Riley took a swig. "Angel, there's something I need to tell you. I probably shouldn't be sharing my stash, but I'm not sure how much longer I'll last and someone else needs to know."


Dixon watched the words go by slowly, across the screen. He remembered that conversation well. It was the one that cemented his decision. He had had to run it by Ward, but he had known then and there that Riley was the one. There weren't a lot of men who would talk back to him like that; there were even less he'd let get away with it. Ellis and Finn on one team - at least something about this whole mission was fun.

"We're halfway there," Dixon said. So the rumors were true - the reinforcements really were vampires. And they were the ones who told Finn about the stakes. But Dixon still had to know: why would they help? What possible reason could there be?

Ripley called out. "I think he's stopping."

Dixon and Ellis looked over at another monitor. They had been watching a screen that Riley's computer had been fed directly into, but now they were watching him fold up the laptop.

They could hear Riley say, "At ease, boys. I'm done for now."

"What? Who was he talking to?" Ripley was looking at the screen. He could have sworn he saw Riley salute.

Ellis just watched. Looked at Graham. Looked back at the screen.


He shouldn't have saluted. Riley had to remind himself that this wasn't a game. He'd have to be careful; too many people could get into trouble. He walked over to Buffy and put his hands on her shoulders. "You ready for a break? I can take her for awhile."

Buffy grabbed his hand. "You doing o.k.?"

"Yeah. It's kind of nice to actually get some of this out."

"You could tell me, you know."

"I think I'd rather take a nap."

He had smiled when he said it, but the words still hurt. "Oh, o.k." She wasn't used to being the one who was being shut out. She didn't like it. "Well you can take Eve with you. She's a bit overdue but I thought you might want to have her around while you worked."

Eve ran over to Riley and hugged his leg. "Daddy!"

He picked her up and threw her into the air. "You need a nap, little girl?"

Eve was squealing. "More!"

Buffy winced. Baby - ceiling - bad. "You're way too tall to be doing that."

"Will you be o.k. down here?" He grinned as he saw her glance at the computer. "Let's go, Eve. Mommy has some reading to do."

Buffy smiled.


Buffy finished reading what Riley had written. Some of the moves sounded familiar. She recognized them from when she and Riley had sparred. But there was a twist to them. She tried to visualize the motions. She smiled to herself. Not Faith. Angel. The way Buffy and Angel used to fight together. And the way Buffy and Riley used to fight together. It made much more sense in a weird kind of way. Angel and Riley fighting side by side. That would have been something to see.

She went upstairs to the bedroom. Riley was asleep with Eve cradled in his arms. Buffy lay down next to them, listening to them breathe, feeling their warmth. She scanned the room, trying to find cameras of some kind, wondering how they were being watched, but she saw nothing.

She closed her eyes. She was the Slayer. She should be doing something about this mess they were in. Yet she felt free, taken care of - in a way she had felt only twice before. Once when she was dead and once when her cells were slowly dissolving into mush. Her vacations really sucked. Willow's note made it clear that this one had a price too. But for once there was no big bad to slay; there was nothing for her to do. Willow and the gang were working on the outside and Riley was working from the inside. They didn't need her right now. They were handling it. She could dream for a little while longer. She fell asleep.


Riley woke up half an hour later. Buffy had come in while he was asleep and he watched her and Eve for a few minutes. He didn't want to leave this made up world; he even thought twice about what he had decided. But that was crazy talk. There were so many reasons they couldn't stay here. Willow's note made it clear that whatever this world was, it wasn't real. And that probably meant that Buffy still had a job to do, one she couldn't do in here. This seemed to be about Belize; Buffy's role merely a bystander. But even if the goal hadn't been to take her out of Sunnydale, it was still the byproduct and that wasn't safe for anyone. The Scoobies had managed to keep things under control when Buffy's mind was elsewhere, but one day their luck would run out; they needed her back.

And Buffy needed to be back. This wasn't her world; it never would be. It was a trip to see her like this - almost funny even - but she was so not stay-at-home-mom material and if she made it to tomorrow morning without attacking something, he would be amazed. He couldn't believe she had made it through a whole day and a half already. Of course, in that time, she had attacked both the tomatoes and him. So far, she seemed to be willing to let him deal with this, but that wouldn't last much longer.

Then there was the matter of being with Buffy. Seeing her and touching her and losing control. It was hard enough to be with her on a good day - every inch of him humming from the nearness of her. But these weren't good days - if nothing else, he knew that to be true. He didn't know why he had no sense of what his life outside of this place was like, but he knew that it didn't include her. Maybe it could again; maybe they could fix what they had so brutally broken. But that was between them, not something for all the watchers to see - the watchers that had already seen too much. Riley was used to living his life in a fishbowl - military life didn't allow for privacy - but this was different. Passion, desire, need, and love - those things were hard enough for two people to share; they certainly weren't meant for public consumption. Intimacy was supposed to be, well, intimate. And even if he could get beyond the idea of being watched, there was that whole death thing that Willow had warned them about.

Riley had no doubt that it was his life at stake rather than Buffy's; he knew that what had happened the night before shouldn't have happened. Sex with Buffy could be mind-blowing, but it shouldn't knock him down like that even if he really did have the flu, which by this point he sincerely doubted. He figured they hadn't fixed his heart right but it didn't really matter why this was happening. What mattered was that he couldn't imagine being so close to Buffy and not being able to touch her. Even the almighty Angel couldn't manage that - he had had to leave town. Riley couldn't leave town - he didn't even know if there was a town. His only other option was brutally intense physical activity. And that wasn't possible either. Sex probably shouldn't be quite so important to him, but it was. With Buffy it definitely was, especially since so much of what they had was physical. Maybe the only thing they had. Maybe if they had talked a little more things wouldn't have ended so badly.

But it was too late to think about that. They needed to be out of here. Riley got out of bed and went into the bathroom. As he showered, he considered his options. They wanted more from him. O.k., he could give them more. He'd tell them about the mutiny; he could understand Dixon's suspicion on that one. It was unfounded, but if he had been looking at it from the outside, he'd suspect himself too. And he would tell them how he escaped from the caves, what he knew at least. There wasn't much to tell. Another disappointment for Dixon. But the thing that would really piss Dixon off was that Riley wasn't going to say why the vampires had helped them. Angel was the only one who could really answer that question and Riley wasn't going to give Angel up.

There was a laugh - he wasn't going to give Angel up.

It wasn't just for Angel's sake; Angel could clearly take care of himself. But it wasn't really about Angel; it was about the man Riley had become since the day he fell for Buffy Summers - the day his life turned upside down. Everything good was bad and bad was good. It had taken him a long time to come to terms with everything that had happened, the things he had done, and his slate still wasn't clean. He definitely owed some apologies. To Xander, for one; well, to all the Scoobies. Xander had been the only one who called him on it, but Riley had let them down on those last few patrols. Before he left Sunnydale, Willow had told him about the two vamps she had staked. She had been proud, but Riley knew her well enough to hear the fear in her voice. He should have been there, should never have put them in that position. He had had plenty of time down in the jungle to thank God that his self-involvement hadn't gotten one of them killed.

And Buffy... Belize wasn't that big a country, but the rainforest terrain was harsh. They had had to hack their way in, inch by inch. In the beginning, every swing of the machete was powered by his anger at Buffy. For shutting him out of her life, for telling Spike things she never told him, for creating such a distance between them. But as the anger at her dissipated, the anger at himself grew. He had become so focused on being Joe Normal - on not being enough for her - that he hadn't been able to give her what she needed most: acceptance and space. His accepting that she needed to deal with things in her own way; his giving her space to deal with her mother's illness - and whatever else had been on her mind - on her own terms. He hadn't needed super powers to deal with that one, but a brain would have helped. Just your normal, everyday, non-Initiative powered brain that would tell you when your girlfriend just needed a body to be with. A body you could happily supply.

Or maybe that wasn't what she needed - he still didn't have her figured out. Not after over a year together, not after analyzing every moment of that year for months in the jungle, and not in the time since then. But it most definitely hadn't been the time to lay their relationship on the line. Riley liked to think that in pre-Adam days he would have handled the whole situation differently. At the very least, Forrest would have beaten some sense into him. But Forrest was gone, and Graham was gone, and Riley had done his solace seeking at Willy's. He could explain to Buffy the twisted logic behind why he sought comfort from ... whores - call it like it is; but it would be a long time before he could forgive himself, much less ask her to absolve him. The stupidest thing he had ever done. Hands down.

And coming in at a close second - listening to Spike. Taking his word at face value. Never even asking Buffy what Spike had been talking about. Riley had put so much stock in Spike's words - words that were probably true on some level. Spike wasn't a liar. But he had a way of twisting words and reading your mind and playing on your fears. No chip could take that away. Sometimes Riley wished he was mean enough to have just killed Spike flat out. But it just wasn't in him. Riley had lost a lot of himself after Professor Walsh died, but he wasn't a cold-blooded killer. That would never be him.

Nope, he was just another guy who had failed his girlfriend on the most basic level: he couldn't just accept her for who she was. He had told her that he loved every part of her, that he understood what being the Slayer meant, but when it came down to it, he hadn't understood. He had asked her to be something she wasn't, someone he didn't know. No - Buffy wasn't the only one to blame for the state of their relationship.

He hoped he'd get the chance to tell her all that, to ask her forgiveness, to thank her for changing his world. Because before he had met her, he had just seen right and wrong - none of the in-betweens. The in-betweens that made things interesting. If there was anything he could say with certainty about his life since Buffy, it was that it was definitely interesting.

And with the exception of Forrest - he would never come to terms with how things had been played out with Forrest - most of it had made him a better man in the end. Somewhere in all of that mess he had found the real Riley Finn - human, imperfect, but strong and true. Someone who asked questions, who would do the right thing even if ordered otherwise. Someone who stood for something. And that person couldn't just go along with things anymore. He had compromised his beliefs too many times and he was tired of it.

Riley didn't know why Angel - or, more specifically, Angel's motives - were so important to Dixon. Hell, Dixon probably didn't even know why; it was most likely some power thing - Dixon hated not being in total control. He hated the fact that one of his soldiers might actually have some aspect of life that wasn't Army. Some aspect of life that included, say, witches and werewolves and Slayers. Dixon wanted to know about the vampires in Belize; but it wasn't just about that. Riley figured it was as much about Buffy and what she represented and Riley wasn't going to give that up. Because if he gave that up and gave them Angel, there was no telling who they'd want next - Willow? Anya? Oz? - or what they'd hold over his head to get it. So, no. He wasn't going to give Angel up.

And then it would be up to Dixon, whether Dixon would accept what Riley was willing to give. Whether he'd let Riley walk away. If not, they'd probably send Graham back in and there were only a few possible endings from there. They could try and take Buffy (they might think they had a shot at it), try and hold her for some psychological ransom - but Riley wouldn't let it come to that. Whatever they needed from him wasn't worth her life; the Slayer was too important. He'd do push-ups until he dropped dead if he had to, but he wouldn't let them take her. They could try and take him, hold him indefinitely in some prison - maybe this one - until he gave them what they wanted, but he wouldn't let that happen either. Dead again. Or they could just kill him outright. Yup, dead. His odds of getting out of here on his terms pretty much sucked.

Riley turned off the water and reached out for a towel. He looked at it and laughed; he hadn't noticed the purple towels earlier. The damn purple towels that his mom sent him off to school with when he chose a pick-up basketball game over shopping with her for college. The bane of his existence at Lowell House where he would forever be known as "Lilac One." Whoever had put them here had thought of every detail. This was the kind of operation that took a team months to prepare for - quite a lot of trouble to go through just to kill him in the end. At least that's what Riley was counting on, because he really didn't want to die. He could finally say that for the first time in as long as he could remember.

But he still held the trump card: he might not want to die, but he was ready.

Riley got dressed and went downstairs. He put on a CD, sat down at the computer and started to type again.

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