Author: Michelle
Email: michellabella52478@yahoo.com
Notes: Check it out, another AU fic from me! Surprise surprise. A big thanks to Jo, Pamela, August, Carrie, Shannon and Krystal for being my unoffical beta-readers.

1

2

3

4

November 3, 1998

It was ten after seven in the morning by the time Buffy ran out of the house for school. She'd overslept by ten minutes and feared she'd be late for homeroom again. Mostly, she was afraid that Angel and Alexis were too far ahead to catch up with.

When she reached the end of her driveway Buffy saw that her two neighbors were only halfway down the street. She sighed with relief and jogged to catch up to them, calling their names in hopes they'd slow down their pace until she could reach them.

"How come you're so late?" Alexis asked with a smile on her face. She loved teasing Buffy about her lack of punctuality.

Buffy caught her breath. "I overslept. Again. That'll teach me to stay up late with Mom to watch the Sunday Night Scary Movie," she laughed.

"One more tardy and Snyder's going to serve your butt on a silver platter," the sixteen-year-old commented.

"He already hates me and we're only two months into the school year. How am I supposed to survive the next three-and-a-half years?" the blonde complained.

Alexis shrugged. "Maybe he'll drop dead one day, or suffer an attack of personality." She paused. "Nah, we'd never get that lucky. Thank god I graduate after next year."

"Lucky you." Buffy glanced at Alexis' brother, who had yet to utter a word since she'd reached their sides. "Morning, Angel."

Angel looked at her, smiled and gazed back at the ground. "Hi, Buffy." He always felt shy whenever she was around, and felt as if cotton balls formed in his mouth when he tried to talk to her.

"I didn't see you that much this weekend," she noted. "Did you do anything fun?"

"Not really. Did you?"

Alexis, who was walking to the left of her brother, stifled a back a giggle. It was obvious to her that her younger brother liked Buffy. She'd never seen him so tongue-tied around anyone before. And if she didn't know any better she'd swear Buffy felt the same way about him. 'Those two would make such a cute couple.'

"Not really. Mom and I drove to Los Angeles early Saturday morning to look for a Homecoming dress for me. I found one I really like, now all I need is a date."

"Oh."

'"Oh"? You've got to be kidding me!' Alexis thought. 'God, Angel, she's practically giving you an open invitation, she's almost begging you to ask her. Say something to the girl.'

"Are you going to the dance?" Buffy wanted to know.

"I don't know. Maybe. I guess I haven't thought much about it," he answered honestly. "Me and crowds don't really mix."

Buffy tried to hide her disappointment at his indifference. She had hoped mentioning that she'd purchased a dress and saying she didn't have a date would turn on a lightbulb in his head. She wanted him to ask her.

In the past week, three other freshman boys asked her out, but she said no to all three. Her first real date wouldn't be with just *any* boy, it had to be with someone special.

And that special someone was Angel. Over the summer, they had spent a great deal of time together. They'd rented movies, gone out for lunch and hung out at the Bronze with his friends Willow and Xander. During those months Buffy developed a giant crush on the tall, lanky boy across the street. She could tell him almost anything and felt completely comfortable in his presence. Angel inhabited everything she wanted in a boyfriend.

"I see," she replied. "But if you change your mind and decide to go, let me know. You'll have to save me a dance."

"Sure."

Buffy thought it best to drop the subject of the upcoming dance. One rejection a day was her limit. "Did you do the Math homework? Because I got kinda stumped."

"What part did you have trouble with?"

"The math. Do you think you could help me with it during lunch?" she asked.

"No problem."

"Great. I'll save a seat for you at my lunch table."

Angel's eyes widened with fear. "You mean I'd have to sit with you? A-And all your friends?"

"Is something the matter? Don't you want to sit with me?"

"No! That's not it. I just…your friends don't exactly like me very much. Cordelia Chase and Harmony Kendall aren't my idea of enjoyable company," he admitted. "Sorry. I know you like them."

"Then we'll sit alone. Problem solved."

The three of them reached the school ten minutes later. Buffy said goodbye and took off in the direction of her locker while Alexis grabbed her brother's arm. "Are you completely brain dead?" she demanded.

"What are you talking about"

"Buffy gave you an opportunity and you let it pass you by. What is wrong with you?"

Angel shook his head in confusion. "Okay, I think I missed something really important. What opportunity, Lexie?"

"She wanted you to ask her to the dance!"

"No she didn't."

Alexis sighed, exasperated. "How can you be so smart and be so stupid? Buffy made it crystal clear that she's going to the dance and she doesn't have a date. A girl doesn't just say that to any random guy, she says it to the guy she wants to go with. Open your eyes, Angel! The girl has the hots for you."

"She does not. And if she wanted to go with me, she could have just asked. Buffy's not the shy type," Angel pointed out.

"Maybe she thinks you'll say no to her. Look, I know you've got a crush on her. And I'm willing to bet my Garbage Pail Kids card collection she feels the same way about you. Climb out of your little shell and ask her out. Today. Before I do it for you."

---

Swallowing the lump that had formed in the back of his throat, Angel walked into the cafeteria. He looked around nervously for Buffy, hoping she wasn't there yet so he would have more time to think of what he'd say to her. Given the ultimatum Alexis had given him, Angel felt he had no choice but to ask Buffy to the dance.

It wasn't that he didn't want to take her, he wanted to more than anything. The problem was he did not know how to go about asking her.

Angel was deathly nervous. He'd never asked a girl out on a real date; this would certainly be different from simply asking Buffy to hang out at the Bronze for a few hours. They'd spend the entire evening together, just the two of them. Angel wasn't sure if he could survive spending six hours alone with her; he feared he would bore her, or say or do something idiotic.

'What if Lexie was wrong?' Angel thought. 'Maybe Buffy doesn't want to go with me. I'd just die if she said no and laughed in my face. I'd never be able to face her again.'

Buffy grinned when she entered the cafeteria and saw Angel standing a few feet away with a stricken look on his face. 'He is so darn cute,' she said to herself. "You look like you're about to walk into your own execution."

He turned around, finding himself face-to-face with the object of his affection. "H-Hi. I didn't see you standing there."

"That's because I just got here. Are you okay?"

"Uh-huh. Deep in thought."

"Care to share?"

Angel shook his head. "It wasn't very important."

"Okay. Where do you want to sit?"

"Doesn't matter to me. Wherever you want to is fine by me." She laughed softly at his response. "You are way too agreeable, Angel. Is the word 'no' even part of your vocabulary?"

"No."

"Full of surprises, aren't you?" Buffy teased. "Come on, I see an empty table over there we can work at."

He followed her lead, realizing she was leading him to an empty table in the middle of the cafeteria. 'Perfect. Now the entire school can see me crash and burn. Damn!'

Buffy put her books down and sat down, waiting for Angel to join her. When he didn't sit down right away, she patted the seat to her right and looked at him expectantly. "Well? Are you gonna sit? I don't bite, you know that."

Sitting down slowly, Angel couldn't help but be embarrassed. He felt incredibly nervous when Buffy pushed her chair even closer to his. The scent of her perfume permeated his nose, making it difficult for him to breathe. "Sorry."

"What for?" she asked.

"For being me."

"That's all right. I like you." 'I can't believe it. I'm flirting with Angel! This is so cool. Now if he'll just ask me to the stupid dance already, I can act like myself again.'

They worked on the Math homework Buffy had had trouble with the night before. It was incomprehensible to her that Angel understood everything they'd learned while she could barely add and subtract without stumbling across a problem. As he explained how to solve a quadratic equation, Buffy conjured up a mental image of him standing in front of a hundred college students explaining that very same thing with easy. He had the ability to make the most difficult of tasks seem simple.

"Any questions?" he wanted to know.

Buffy shook her head. "Nope. I think I finally get it. You know, Angel, you should work for NASA. You're a whiz at math."

"I don't think so. Too much stress."

"Gimme a break. You thrive on stress."

A shadow fell over them; the two looked up to see Larry Munson standing to Buffy's left. Angel immediately turned his attention back to his Math book while Buffy inwardly groaned. The football player had asked her out five times since the first day of school, and she said no each and every time. He simply didn't get that she wasn't interested in him.

"Hey, Buffy," Larry drawled, a smug smile playing upon his lips.

"Hi," she replied unenthusiastically.

If he noticed her cool tone he simply ignored it. "Homecoming is this Saturday. What time do you want me to pick you up?"

"How about quarter to never?" Buffy answered seriously.

"No, really, Buff."

"I'm not kidding, Larry. Hell would have to freeze over before I'd even *consider* going out with you."

Larry laughed at her statement. "Why are you playing hard to get?"

"What makes you think I'm playing?" Buffy shot back.

From his seat, Angel did his best not to laugh at the scene being played out before him. Although he had to hand it to Buffy for turning Larry down; most girls would give their eye teeth to go out with him. It was a nice change of pace to see the football player being shot down.

"There are tons of girls dying to go to this dance with me."

"So ask one of them. How many times -- how many different ways -- do I have to tell you no before it finally sinks in?" she asked. "I don't like you."

"When you say it like you mean it."

Buffy stared him dead in the eye. "Trust me, I mean it."

Angel finally got fed up with Larry's harassment of Buffy. "Leave her alone. She's not interested. Deal with it."

"The dork talks!" Larry exclaimed. "Mind your own business, Brennan. Go back to your little hole in the wall and bury your head in a book where it belongs."

"Don't talk to him like that," Buffy defended.

Larry raised his eyebrows. "What is this, Defend Your Local Loser Week? What's he to you?"

The words left Buffy's mouth before she even realized she was thinking them. "He's my date for Homecoming. Happy now?"

Both Angel and Larry gaped at her. Neither were certain they'd heard her correctly. But only Larry actually brought it up. "Is this some kind of joke, Summers? 'Cause it's not funny."

"The only joke I can see is standing right in front of me. Leave me alone," Buffy told him.

"Hey, it's your funeral if you want to be seen with the likes of Angel Brennan at the dance. I thought you had class; guess I was wrong."

Larry smirked at her and walked away from the table, but no sooner was he out of her line of sight when he detoured around another table, heading toward them once again. Nobody rejected him and walked away unscathed. If Buffy Summers wanted to go to the dance with Angel Brennan, he'd be sure she would be properly humiliated for doing so.

"Angel," he said, tapping him on the shoulder.

Angel turned around, greeted by Larry's fist. It connected with his left eye, knocking his head back. Pain shot through his face, down his spine to the tips of his toes. He knew in the back of his mind that everybody in the cafeteria had seen it.

From three feet away, Larry Munson smiled at the sight before him. He could all but see the tears in Angel's eyes. "Go ahead. Cry. You know you want to."

Buffy stood up and slapped him across the face. "You asshole!" She didn't swear very often, but the occasion called for it. "Why did you have to punch him like that? Angel didn't do anything to you."

"I want to see you show up at the dance with *that* on your arm," he said before walking away.

She turned her attention to her friend, who held his hand to his tender eye. "Are you okay, Angel?"

He nodded his head slowly. "Yeah, I think so. It just hurts. A lot."

"Here, I'll walk you to the nurse's office," Buffy offered, grabbing their books.

"Thanks."

After they'd left the cafeteria and the prying eyes of their classmates, Buffy finally spoke again. "I'm really sorry, Angel. The last thing I wanted was for Larry to punch you. I figured he'd just go away if I said that."

"Don't worry about it. And I don't expect you to go with me."

"Why? I want to go with you," she admitted. "I was just waiting for you to ask me. Unless you don't want to be my date."

"I do! I was actually going to ask you during lunch anyway." 'I can't get over it. Lexie was right,' Angel thought.

Buffy giggled. "Guess I saved you the trouble. Except you got hurt in the process. You're going to have a nice shiner in the morning."

"Are you sure you don't mind being seen with a guy who has a black eye?" She grasped his hand in hers. "As long as you're the guy with the black eye, I'm perfectly fine with it."

---

Buffy's mother watched with pride as her only child fixed her hair in her full-length mirror. 'I can hardly believe my little Buffy is going on her first date tonight.' "You look pretty, honey. Like a vision."

The fourteen-year-old twirled around. "You really think so, Mom? The dress isn't too old for me?"

"Not at all. If I thought it was too old I never would have bought it for you." Joyce Summers sighed heavily. "I suddenly feel so old. My freshman Homecoming Dance seems like a lifetime ago."

"Oh god. You aren't going to get all sentimental on me, are you?" Buffy asked with fear in her green eyes.

She shook her head. "Don't worry. I refuse to act like my mother did. I promised myself I'd never be like her." Joyce did not want to talk about her parents; it brought back painful memories. "What time is Angel picking you up?"

Her daughter grinned from ear to ear. "He'll be here at six. His sister's date is driving us to the school."

"You really like him, don't you, Buffy?" she asked. She'd never seen Buffy so excited about a school event before, and innately knew it had a lot to do with her date.

"Yeah, I do. Angel's not like the other boys at school, he's not obsessed with being popular. And he's smart and funny and kinda cute in his own way. I know I'll have a good time with him," Buffy explained. "Why? Don't you like him?"

"He is polite. A little quiet, though. Call me crazy, but I always pictured my little motor mouth with the captain of the football team."

Buffy smiled slyly. "I'm working on loosening him up."

A chill ran down Joyce's spine upon hearing her daughter's words. "Please be careful, Buffy. I wasn't much older than you when I started having sex."

"Don't worry, I'm not going to un off and do something stupid. No offense, Mom, but I'm not you. I want to wait until I'm at least out of high school. Or in love, whichever comes first."

"Then you have better sense than I did at your age."

Before Buffy had a chance to respond the doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of her date. With one last glance in the mirror, Buffy practically ran down the stairs to the front door, followed by her mother. Joyce grabbed her camera from the living room coffee table before making her way to the door.

Angel needed to blink several times when Buffy opened her door. She wore a strapless pink dress that fell to the floor, hugging her curves. Her long blonde hair was swept up with clips of the same shade of pink. Even though he'd only known Buffy a few short months, he'd never seen her look so beautiful.

"B-Buffy, you look so p-pretty," he stumbled.

She gave him a shy smile at his compliment. "Thank you, Angel. I like your tie. It matches my dress."

He glanced down at the pink tie he wore, identical in color to her dress. "It's my dad's. He let me borrow it for tonight." Angel noticed Buffy's mother standing behind her, holding a camera in her hands.

"Hello, Ms. Summers."

"Hi, Angel. Do you guys mind posing for a picture?" she asked. "It's my little girl's first date and I want to capture it on film."

Buffy glared at her mother, feeling utterly embarrassed. "Mother…"

"Sure," Angel agreed.

The couple plastered smiles on their faces and stood side-by-side as Joyce Summers snapped a photo of them. "Great. How's your eye feeling, Angel?"

He shrugged, frowning. "It's okay I guess. I don't want another one for a long time, that's for sure."

"I don't blame you. Well, you two have fun tonight. Buffy, I want you home by twelve-thirty."

"All right. Bye."

---

Angel felt as if all eyes were on them as they walked into the school building. Buffy had held his hand in hers upon leaving Alexis' date's car and flashed him a small smile when he looked down at her. He knew what everyone was thinking – what was Buffy Summers doing at the dance with Angel Brennan? Deep down he didn't know why she'd even gone with him; she could have gone with any boy in the entire school. Why was he so special?

"What do you want to do first?" Buffy asked him.

'Go into a bathroom and throw up,' he thought. "I-I don't know. It doesn't matter to me. What about you?"

"Do you mind if we go say hi to Cordy and Harmony?" she suggested. "I see them over by the punch bowl."

"Go ahead. I think I'll just look for Willow and Xander. They should be here by now."

Buffy immediately felt like a fool. "Oh geez. You don't like Harm and Cordy. I'm so sorry, I completely forgot. But I didn't mean that we should say hi separately. I'll go with you to see Will and Xander."

"Don't worry about it. We can meet up later on," Angel said. "Maybe we can even dance together before the night is over."

'What, does he think I only came to be seen with him? What do I have to do to make him see that I really like him?' "Hey! I'm your date, or did you forget that? You are the only guy I plan on dancing with here tonight. You're going to be sick of seeing me by the time we get home."

Until that moment Angel had thought the only reason Buffy went with him was for appearance's sake. "That would never happen."

The two of them split up, Angel in search of his friends while Buffy headed off in the direction of Cordelia and Harmony. She found herself surprised when her two friends did not acknowledge her presence when she stood in front of them.

"Hi, guys," she greeted.

"Hello, Buffy," Cordelia Chase responded coolly, taking a sip of her drink. Harmony Kendall didn't bother to say anything.

Buffy sighed, rolling her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"You know what's wrong," Harmony told her.

"You aren't making any sense at all. What do you mean I know what's wrong? I didn't do anything," Buffy stated.

Cordelia shook her head and closed her eyes. "We thought you had class, having lived in Los Angeles for so long. Harm and I are pretty good judges of character; I can't believe how wrong we were about you."

"Excuse me?"

"You had potential," Harmony added. "But you messed up so badly even we can't help you anymore."

"I'm lost. How exactly did I mess up?"

"Look at your date and you tell us."

Buffy didn't understand what Angel had to do with it. "What the hell are you talking about? What does Angel have to do with anything?"

"You came to the dance with him."

"So? You two knew that already. Why is it such a problem all of a sudden?" Buffy demanded.

Harmony tossed her long blonde hair over her right shoulder. "Yeah, well, we never actually thought you'd go through with it."

"Are you for real?"

The two exchanged an unreadable look. "Buffy, you could have gone to the dance with Larry Munson. But you came with Angel Brennan. Hello, can you say Beauty and the Beast?" Harmony said. "He's a total loser and you can do *so* much better."

"I cannot believe you two. I thought you were my friends."

"We are," Cordelia reminded her. "And it's because we're your friends that we are telling you what a big mistake you are making."

"No," Buffy disagreed, shaking her head. "You are selfish, self-centered snobs; you don't care about me, you care about your reputations. Well, you know what? Screw all of you! I will go out with whomever I damn well want to, and there's nothing you can do about it."

---

At twelve-fifteen Angel and Buffy walked up the steps of her front porch. "I had a good time tonight," Buffy commented.

Angel nodded. "Me, too."

An awkward silence fell over them, neither quite knowing what to say to the other. "Are you doing anything tomorrow afternoon?" he wanted to know.

"Nothing written in stone. Why?"

"Do you want to come over and watch a movie? My parents rented Dirty Dancing this weekend."

"Sure. I haven't seen that one yet. Mom won't care if I'm out of her hair for a few hours. If anything, she'll be thrilled for some alone time."

He wrinkled his brow. "What about your dad? I never hear you mention him. Don't you ever go visit him?"

Buffy looked down at the ground. "I don't have a dad. The sperm donor who contributed his DNA to me doesn't exist in my life. Truthfully, I only met him once when I was twelve. He dumped my mother when she told him she was pregnant with me."

"That's awful."

"I'm better off without him in my life. Oh well. I don't see it as a big loss."

Angel felt like kicking himself for even bringing up the subject. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I had no idea that had happened."

"That's because I never talk about it that often," she told him. "But don't be sorry. Like you said, you didn't know."

He glanced at his watch. 'I've been out with her for over six hours and I haven't made a complete fool of myself. It's progress.' "It is getting late. I should get home."

"Okay. Thank you for taking me, I had a great time on our first date." 'The first of many, I hope.'

"So did I."

Without warning Buffy leaned over and kissed Angel on the lips. She knew he'd never do it himself, so she took the initiative. It was her first kiss, and her heart pounded in her throat. His lips were as soft as she thought they'd be.

"Good night, Angel," she said. "See you tomorrow."

"N-Night," he stuttered, feeling breathless after their kiss. As soon as Buffy closed the door behind her, Angel ran across the street to tell his sister what happened.

---

"Angel, have you heard a word I've said to you?" Mrs. Brennan chastised when her son didn't respond to her question.

He switched the telephone from one ear to the other. "Sorry, Mom. My mind must have wandered for a minute. What was the question again?"

"What's wrong with you lately? You didn't come by Sunday night for the weekly family dinner, and now you aren't even listening to what I'm asking you."

"I've had some things on my mind. It's been a weird few days."

"So I am noticing. Did something happen at the reunion and you're not telling me? Because you know you can tell me anything," Angel's mother reminded him.

'Not this, I can't. You'd never understand, Mom. Never,' he said to himself. "Nothing happened. If anything, the whole experience helped put things in perspective for me. I owe you a big thank you for convincing me to go."

From her seat at her kitchen table, Margaret Brennan smiled. "See, I knew it would be a good idea. I just have one question about the reunion and then I'll never bring it up again. Did you get a chance to talk to Buffy while you were there?"

Angel laughed at his mother's question. "I knew you'd ask that. Yes, I saw her there and I did speak to her."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Not particularly. I will say that the world makes sense once again and leave it at that."

Cradling the telephone between his ear and his shoulder, Angel opened the mailbox and pulled out the pile of envelopes from inside. He leafed through bills and junk mail before stumbling across a letter postmarked from Wichita, Kansas. He knew it had to be from Buffy.

"Mom, I have to get going. I'll see you on Sunday afternoon for dinner," he told her.

Mrs. Brennan sensed the change in her son's tone of voice. "Is everything okay, Angel?"

"Fine, everything's fine. I suddenly remembered that I forgot to run an important errand," Angel lied to her.

"Okay. You promise you will be here Sunday? Not like this past week where you forgot?" she prodded.

"You have my word. I'll be there at three."

Mother and son said their goodbyes before turning off their respective telephones. Angel walked back into his house and dropped the mail on the counter before settling down on the couch to read Buffy's letter.

'My dearest Angel,' he read. 'What I am about to write is the hardest thing I have ever written…'

---

"Alexis and Brad are coming down with the children in three weeks," Edward Brennan said to his son Sunday evening. "She called us this afternoon and told us. Apparently Brad couldn't get off work the week of the holiday."

Angel only nodded his head. Four days had passed since he'd received the letter from Buffy; the letter that contained her intention of staying with her husband despite her lingering feelings for him. His heart, which had almost healed completely following her rejection ten years earlier, shattered once more because of her. Angel could blame nobody but himself for his pain, knowing he brought it on himself when he took Buffy to bed.

Mr. Brennan saw the forlorn look in his son's eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"No, you're not fine. I can see it written all over your face. You're hurting, Angel. Tell me what it is," he requested. "Maybe I can help."

He stood up, pacing the living room. "I don't think so, Dad. I'm ashamed and I know you'd think so much less of me if I told you what a stupid thing I did."

"I could never think any less of you. We all do stupid things, how bad could it be?"

Angel looked at his father. "I had an affair with a married woman."

His father never expected to hear those words come from Angel's mouth. "Oh" was all he could muster as a response.

He sighed at his father's reaction. "See? This is why I didn't want to tell you and Mom. I knew how disappointed you'd both be. Look, promise you won't tell Mom about this. It'll break her heart to know what I've done."

"I won't tell her."

"Good."

"Do you mind if I ask what happened?" Mr. Brennan wanted to know. "Obviously it's on been plaguing your thoughts for some time. It might help to let it all out."

Angel sat back down on the couch. "It is the same thing you hear every time; your standard cliché. All it was was a one-time deal. It happened a few weeks ago. She swore she was leaving her abusive husband to be with me and I totally believed her. Well, until I got a letter in the mail saying they'd worked things out. And now I'm nothing but a faded memory to her."

"You thought it was forever and she had other ideas?"

"I don't know. I never saw myself as the type to be duped by a woman, but I guess everyone has their weaknesses. She was mine, and she knew it," he said.

Mr. Brennan saw how hurt Angel was. He had no clue as to what he could say to ease his son's pain. "Do you love her?"

With a nod, Angel shut his eyes. "I loved her the moment I laid eyes on her. I don't know if that will ever change. Believe me, I tried not to but nothing works."

"I wish I knew what to tell you."

"Tell me what to do," pleaded Angel.

"You'll have to figure that out on your own. I'm not trying to pry, but do we know who this married woman is?"

Angel frowned. "No, you don't." 'I don't think I know who she is either.'

---

"To what do we owe the pleasure of your company tonight, Peaches?" William "Spike" Roberts asked a week-and-a-half later.

Angel gulped down the beer he'd swigged. "I haven't been out with you guys in a long time. And don't call me Peaches. I've hated that stupid nickname since the first day of college."

"Whatever." That was always Spike's answer whenever Angel requested that he stop calling him by his nickname.

"Spike has a point, Angel. It's like you've been avoiding the world the past few weeks. Actually, ever since the reunion if my calculations are correct," Xander pointed out. "Does this have anything to do with your hunt for a certain ex-girlfriend named Buffy?"

The mention of Buffy's name made Angel's face pale. "What makes you think that?"

"Could it be common sense? Gimme a break, Angel. Everybody at the reunion saw you chase after her when her husband dragged her out. On top of that you called me and Willow looking for her. What's really going on? Did something happen between the two of you after you left the reunion?"

"Buffy and I are of the past. End of story."

Before Xander could respond Spike spoke up. "Who's Buffy?"

"No one," Angel answered shortly.

There was no way Xander would leave it at that. "Buffy Summers was Angel's high school sweetheart. His one and only true love."

"Xander…"

"What's the big deal? I'm surprised you haven't told Spike about your sordid history with your little blonde cheerleader."

Spike raised his eyebrows. "Cheerleader? You dated a cheerleader? No offense, but I've seen pictures of you from high school and I don't picture *that* guy with a cheerleader."

"Buffy was only a cheerleader for one year, Xander," Angel reminded his old high school friend.

"One year was long enough to win her the title of Homecoming Queen our senior year."

"You got with a Homecoming Queen?" Spike asked incredulously.

Angel only groaned and dropped his head on the table with a thud.

Xander laughed at him. "Let me give you the Cliff's Notes version. Buffy Summers is the one that got away. She moved to Sunnydale the summer before freshman year and you-know-who fell instantly in love with her. They dated exclusively for close to four years, and on graduation day Angel popped the question. She said no, he left town a few days later and the rest is history. They never even slept together."

"Thank you, Xander," Angel muttered sarcastically. "You summed up my life in fifty words or less."

"Let me get this straight," Spike started. "You dated the girl for four years and you never got any from her? What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing. She wanted to wait until we were out of high school. And I respected her decision."

Spike shook his head in amusement. "But the chippy dumped your scrawny ass before you got the pleasure of doing her? She sounds like a dick-tease to me."

"Well she wasn't. We did…stuff," he defended himself.

"So that Cordelia chick from that party was your first? What's-her-face, the actress who's on that television show."

Xander's brown eyes widened and his jaw fell. "Cordelia? As in Cordelia Chase? Queen C of Sunnydale High was the first girl you ever slept with?"

"Can we not talk about this?" The conversation had turned in a direction Angel didn't like whatsoever.

"Why not? Things are finally starting to get good," teased his bleached-blonde college pal.

"You never told me about you and Cordy. You always hated her even from the first day of kindergarten. When did that happen?" Xander questioned.

"And why didn't you tell me before this?" It wasn't like Angel to keep secrets from him.

'I am going to kill Spike. Slowly and painfully,' he vowed. "I didn't tell you, Xand, because it wasn't a big deal. We ran into each other at a frat party up at UCLA in November of our senior year. I got drunk and when I woke up next to her I remembered what happened. It only happened once, thank god. End of story yet again."

"Wait a second. November of '95…that's when Buffy and Griffin got engaged," Xander recalled.

Angel threw a couple peanuts into his mouth. "Thanks for the reminder. You want the truth? I was so upset when my sister sent me the engagement announcement that I went off the deep end for a while. Happy?"

"Of course I'm not happy. I didn't realize what you went through when you found out. You pushed yourself away from everyone when you went to college. You could have told me. Or Will, for that matter. We would have understood."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Now you know. And now you know why I never mentioned it. It's not a period of my life I'm proud of. Buffy had broken my heart for the second time. There's no way in hell I'm going to let it happen this time around. She's not going to make it three for three."

"This time?" Spike repeated. "What happened this time?"

"Huh?"

"You said you wouldn't let it happen this time. Come on, tell us what's really going on," he prodded.

Angel sighed heavily, knowing he'd have to tell his two best friends everything. There would be no denying anymore. That and he was tired of carrying it around inside. "After the reunion, we went back to my house."

"And?"

"Use your imagination! I'm not going to spell it out for you."

Xander took a sip of his beer upon hearing his friend's revelation. He had assumed Angel and Buffy cleared the air between them, never for one second thinking anything sexual would actually happen. "You had sex with her? She's married!"

"I appreciate the reminder, but I know that."

"You go!" Spike cheered.

Angel shook his head at Spike's reaction. He knew he should have expected it. "I'm so glad you're proud of me."

"Are you gonna share the details?" the blonde asked.

"It wasn't really earth-shattering, Spike. She and her husband got into an argument, he left her there and I let her spend the night at my place. We had a long talk and the next thing I know I had her pinned against the wall and she was screaming my name. Is that enough detail for you?"

"Was she any good?"

Clenching his jaw, he glared at Spike. "I am not even going to dignify that with an answer."

Xander didn't need to be told that something big and unpleasant went down between them after that. "Then what happened?"

"She was going to leave her husband to be with me. Then I got a letter two weeks ago saying that she'd decided to stay with Griffin."

"Sorry, man," Spike apologized, embarrassed by his previous jubilation.

"Forget it, I'm trying to. It's over between me and Buffy, for good this time. After what she did to me I don't care if I never lay eyes on her ever again."

---

Buffy pulled her car into the driveway, parking it behind her husband's. With it only being a little past four-thirty, it surprised her to find him home already. Griffin didn't usually return home from work until five or six.

"Griffin!" she called, placing her purse on the kitchen table after stepping through the back door.

No answer. Furrowing her brow, Buffy called his name again, this time walking toward their bedroom. "Griffin? Where are you?"

"Your office," came his voice.

Shaking her head and laughing softly, Buffy opened the door to her office, located across the hall from their bedroom. She found Griffin sitting behind her desk with an unhappy expression on his face. "You're home awfully early today. Slow day at work?"

"Something like that."

"This is great. We can have an early dinner, maybe go see a movie or something," Buffy suggested.

After the incident at the reunion Griffin dedicated himself to starting their marriage over again. He courted Buffy just as he had back in college by taking her out to dinners, movies, or simply spending romantic evenings at home. Though still stinging from his treatment of her, Buffy did her best to try to be the woman he married six years earlier. But every time they made love, she found herself unable to keep her thoughts from wandering toward the other man she loved.

Griffin stood up, gripping a piece of paper in his hand. "I don't see that happening tonight."

"Is something bothering you?" she wanted to know.

"You could say that. Would you care to explain what you're doing with this?" He held up the paper for her to see.

Buffy sucked in a shocked breath. She immediately recognized the handwriting as her own. '4525 Crawford Street. Oh god, how did he find that?' "I can explain."

"I certainly hope so. I'm assuming the name Angel written underneath the phone number is that of your ex-boyfriend. Am I right?"

"Yes, but–"

"But what?" Griffin demanded.

She swallowed the lump that had formed in the back of her throat. "It's not what you think, Griffin."

"It isn't? Then why do you have his address and phone number? Are you having an affair with him?"

"Are you out of your mind?" she asked. "I've only seen him once since we graduated from high school. Not to mention that he lives fifteen hundred miles away. You're being paranoid again."

"Why do you have it, then? Are you keeping in touch with him?"

"No."

Griffin approached her, leaving less than a foot of space between them. "You're lying. I found this buried on the bottom of a pile of papers in your desk drawer. If you weren't keeping in touch you would have thrown it out. Now tell me the truth!"

"What gives you the right to go through my desk? Those are my personal papers."

"I am your husband and this is my house," he stated simply.

"And what am I, a tenant?" Buffy shot back. "What's yours is yours and what's mine is yours? Don't I have any privacy?"

He crumpled the paper and threw it across the room in a fit of anger. "There is no need for privacy, you should tell me everything."

"Did you fall into a time warp or something? We are not living in the eighteen hundreds. I don't have to report to you my every move."

"Just tell me what you're keeping from me," requested Griffin.

"I'm not keeping anything from you." Aggravated, Buffy turned away from him and tried to leave the room.

Blazing with anger, Griffin reached out and grabbed her arm, wrenching her body around to face him. "You fucked him," he accused.

Her heart pounding, Buffy struggled to keep her cool. "What are you talking about?"

"The night of the reunion," he started. "After I left, you spent the night with him. And you finally gave him what he wanted for years. Go ahead, deny it."

"Why should I? You are going to believe what you want to no matter what I say." She didn't see the point in denying it or admitting to it. The damage was already done.

"You did," he sneered.

"And it was good, too. He was everything you aren't and so much more. In fact, we did it three times that night; he took me against his bedroom door and twice in his bed. And we didn't stop until we were spent!" she shouted. "All those years of unresolved sexual tension finally combusted. Are you happy now that you know, Griffin?"

"Yeah right." He recognized her spiteful tone. 'She's just trying to get to me. Buffy would never admit to sleeping with that man.'

"Do you want more details? Want to know what Angel did that you would never have the balls to do yourself?"

Griffin didn't want to hear it, having reached his breaking point. "Shut the hell up!" Lifting his right arm, he struck her left cheek.

"I can't believe you hit me," Buffy said, touching her fingers to the sensitive skin of her bruised cheek. "You promised me you wouldn't do it again."

"And I *will* do it again if you open your mouth one more time," he threatened.

"What the hell has gotten into you lately? You aren't acting like the man I married," she said, holding back the tears she felt burning her eyes. "You've changed so much."

Griffin narrowed his eyes. "You don't like it, Buffy? Leave. Go back to your fuck toy in Sunnydale. Or maybe you have one around here and I just haven't figured it out yet."

Desperate to get away from his cheating wife, he breezed past her and left the house, slamming the back door behind him.

"You want me gone, Griffin? You got it."

---

Angel was stepping out of the shower when he heard the pounding on his back garden door. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he padded barefoot through the main room to find out who it was. "Coming!" he called. 'Who the hell could it be? It's ten o'clock on a Monday night,' Angel thought.

He pulled back the curtains and turned on the light he'd had installed over the door. When he saw the tiny figure standing on the patio, Angel frowned. "Buffy," he greeted after opening the door. She was the last person he expected to see on his doorstep.

Buffy held her suitcases in her hands. "Can I come in, Angel?"

Stepping aside, Angel allowed her to enter. "What are you doing here?" he asked hotly. "Shouldn't you be at home with your husband?"

"I left him. Griffin and I are over."

---

Angel brought his thumb and pointer finger to the bridge of his nose, rubbing it. As soon as Buffy walked through the door, he developed a pounding headache. "What did you say?"

She put her bags down on the carpeted floor. "I'm leaving my husband."

"Really. Well, congratulations. How long is this going to last? Longer than the last time, I hope. A few days? A week? Maybe even a month?"

His tone cut her like a knife. "I mean it this time. It's not just a few days, it's forever."

"Forever? Yeah, I'll believe that when I see it."

"Angel, I packed up as much of my stuff as I could fit in these two suitcases," Buffy explained. "I bought a one-way plane ticket from Wichita to Sunnydale and I left Griffin a note saying that it was over. Why don't you believe me?"

Angel lifted his eyebrows. "Your track record of late hasn't been all that convincing. Allow me to prove it to you." He walked over to the fireplace and picked up a wooden box that rested on the shelf above. "I got this letter in the mail a few weeks ago, perhaps you'll recognize it. 'My dearest Angel. What I am about to write is the hardest thing I have ever written. I love you; I have for half of my life. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm married. And I love my husband, too. Maybe not in the same way I love you, but it's still a deeply-rooted love. I can't turn my back on my marriage, no matter how much trouble it is in. I owe it to my husband to give it a second chance.'"

He looked up at her. "Shall I continue? There's more."

Buffy shook her head. "No, you don't have to. I know what I wrote, it haunts me every day. You think I wanted to write that letter? I didn't. I wanted to stay with you."

"Then why didn't you?" he demanded between gritted teeth.

"It's complicated."

He sat down on the couch. "So tell me. It is ten o'clock on a Monday night. I don't have anywhere else to be."

"Don't you want to get dressed?" She pointed to the white towel wrapped around his lean waist and the droplets of water dripping down his chest.

"You've seen me in less as I recall," he responded shortly.

"I'm sorry, I really am," she apologized. "And you have every reason in the world to be angry with me. I wouldn't blame you for hating me, Angel. Not one bit."

Angel sighed, chewing on his lower lip. "I've told you this before, Buffy. I don't hate you. But the choices you've made recently have confused the hell out of me. Considering it's my life you are screwing with, I think I deserve an explanation. Are you going to give me one?"

Nodding, Buffy sat down on the reclining chair to the right of the couch. "Yes. I-I left you that night so I could face my husband alone. You would have tried to stop me or tried to go with me. Don't deny it, I know you too well. Ending my marriage to Griffin was something I needed to do all on my own. So I took a bus back to Wichita and walked into my house with every intention of telling Griffin it was over."

"What changed your mind?"

"I looked into my husband's eyes and I saw the hurt in them. He would never have cheated on me like I had on him. I behaved irrationally and he didn't deserve that. Okay, so maybe he did, but that doesn't make it right. He apologized, swore up and down that he acted like a child and would never let it happen again. We tried to start our marriage over again with a clean slate. I owed it to him for all the good years we had together."

"The four years with me meant nothing, right?" he questioned.

"You don't understand. Griffin's my husband; you're not." 'Nice argument, Buffy. Why don't you just take a chainsaw to his heart.'

"But I wanted to be!" Angel yelled. "You make it sound like I left you. You said no when I proposed to you."

"You did leave me! You took off without letting me explain why I said no. I spent three days in my bedroom crying because you walked away, and by the time I was ready to face the world you had left town. I walked over to your house and your mother told me you drove off to parts unknown. Angel, I never wanted things to end like that; god, I never wanted things to end with you at all! I loved you, I wanted to spend my life with you. God help me, I still do."

Angel stood up. "You have a very funny way of showing it, Buffy."

"I know that; I know how much I must have hurt you by saying no all those years ago, and then when I left after the reunion. And I have apologized for that over and over again. It'll haunt me for the rest of my life. What more do you want from me?" she wanted to know.

"I don't know. I was all ready to leave that chapter of my life behind me but you showed up at my door tonight. You keep running in and out of my life and I can't keep track of what you want anymore. One minute you want to be with me, the next minute you don't. Actually, I do know what I want from you. I want you to make up your mind," Angel stated. "You have to choose between your husband and me."

"I made up my mind, I know who I want to be with. And it's you."

"Until you remember your husband tomorrow morning."

Buffy shook her head. She knew it wouldn't be easy to make Angel believe her, given the events of the past few weeks. "I left Griffin. He lied to me. You never did that."

"What did he lie about?"

"Remember how I told you he'd never hit me before the night of the reunion? Well, he promised it would never happen again. He kept his word until this afternoon when he slapped me again. He found your phone number and address in my desk and flew off the handle. I refuse to be anyone's punching bag."

"Oh. So you came running to me for protection?"

"Dammit, Angel, I love you!"

"I love you, too. But that doesn't give you the right to treat me like you have been."

"I made a huge mistake and it hurt you, I get that. But I want to be with you. If I could turn back the clock to the day you proposed to me, I'd say yes. I was young and foolish. I didn't know what a good thing I had until it was gone."

Angel took a deep breath. "I want to be with you. Unfortunately, I can't be right now."

"Why not?"

"I'll let you stay here, but nothing will happen between us while you are still married. When you divorce Griffin, I will be here, ready and willing to give our relationship a second chance. But only if you're legally divorced," Angel told her.

"I'm not divorcing him."

"Buffy–"

"I am asking Griffin for an annulment. That way the marriage will never have existed and I'll be free to marry the man I love. I want to marry you in front of our family and friends, and in the eyes of God. And it will happen, come hell or high water."

---

Sitting at the kitchen table reading the morning paper, Angel heard the spare bedroom door open at ten o'clock. He'd been up for three hours already, a habit he found hard to break over the summer months. Throughout his entire life Angel had been an early riser.

Buffy trudged into the room after fixing her hair and brushing her teeth. "Morning," she greeted with an exaggerated yawn.

"Morning." He eyed her choice of bedtime apparel: a white tank top and plaid green boxer shorts. She'd worn the same thing when they were in high school. 'At least it's not something out of the Victoria's Secret catalog.' "How did you sleep?"

"Okay, I guess. Comfy bed, but I'd forgotten how sticky the air gets in California at night. You should really invest in an air conditioner."

"I'll put it on the top of my to-do list," Angel replied sarcastically, putting a spoonful of cereal in his mouth. "Do you want something to eat?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Sure. What do you have?"

"Cereal, eggs, toast and I think there might be some frozen hash brown patties in the freezer, but they are probably freezer burnt. The last time I remember eating one was back in 2000."

"I think I'll stay away from them, then." Buffy walked over to the refrigerator, laughing at what she found inside. "Eggs, cheese, milk and a bottle of red wine…when was the last time you went grocery shopping?"

"Awhile. I wasn't exactly expecting company or else I would have stocked up on the five basic food groups."

"I didn't mean it like that," she responded defensively.

"I know, and I didn't mean for that to come out the way it did. Let's just say it's been quite some time since I did any grocery shopping. I'm more of a fast food kind of guy."

She prepared herself a bowl of Cocoa Krispies. "What you need around here is a woman's touch. Someone to make you good meals. Healthy meals."

"Dru tried and failed. Believe me, she tried."

"Who's Dru?"

"My ex-girlfriend. We met in graduate school and both got jobs working at Sunnydale High. We broke up a few years ago."

Buffy nodded in understanding. "Oh. Are those her clothes in the closet?" She recalled the nightgown she'd worn the night of the reunion and assumed it belonged to his ex.

"Yeah. She and I broke up about six months before I moved in here, but she stayed in that room for a few weeks while her house was being remodeled. We kinda started seeing each other again but it didn't work out. I never got around to giving her back her clothes after it happened, and she never asked for them back," Angel explained.

"Do you mind if I ask what happened?"

"Mutual parting of ways. We just wanted different things out of life. Drusilla wanted to settle down and get married and I didn't want to. I couldn't see her as the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. In all honesty, it was because she wasn't you."

Buffy didn't know what to say. After listening to him speak, she suddenly felt an enormous amount of guilt over marrying Griffin. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I wish I had never–"

The sound of pounding at the door interrupted her before she could finish. Angel narrowed his eyes at the disruption; he wasn't expecting company. Everyone he knew was at work except for his parents, and they rarely ever visited so early in the day. "Wait right here, Buffy. I'll be back in a minute."

He got up to answer the door. Just as he had the night before, Angel pulled back the curtains to see who stood on the other side. "You've got to be kidding me," he mumbled. With a heavy sigh he opened the glass door. "What the hell do *you* want?"

Looking as if he hadn't slept all night, Griffin Montgomery darkened his blue eyes. "Where's my wife, Brennan?"

"I don't know. Did you misplace her? Leave her someplace after a fit of rage?" Angel retorted. "That seems to be your M.O.."

"Go to hell. Where is she?"

"You expect me to know? Buffy's your wife, not mine. It's not my problem you can't keep track of her."

Griffin shook with anger. He was in no mood to play games with his wife's ex-boyfriend. "She left me, okay? Now tell me where the hell she is, dammit!"

"After the way you treated her, I don't blame her one bit for leaving you. Let me guess, you lost your temper yet again and used her to get your aggressions out," Angel taunted. "A wife is not a punching bag."

He ignored Angel's remark. "I've called all of her friends and no one has seen or heard from Buffy. Angel, you're my last hope or I wouldn't even be here."

"How did you even get this address? It's not listed."

"She had it written down. Now stop fucking with me and bring her to me," Griffin ordered.

"Well, gee, since you put it so nicely…no! Even if I did know where she was, I wouldn't tell you if my life depended on it," he said with a smirk. "I've seen the way you treat her, and I wouldn't wish that on anybody. Now get off my property before I call the police."

"Do you mind if I take a look around first?" Griffin requested, taking a step through the partially opened door.

Angel opened the door a few inches wider, then slammed it against the other man's face as he tried to walk through. Griffin stumbled backward and held his hands to his bleeding nose. "Gee, I guess I do mind."

"I think you broke my nose! I'm pressing charges," the injured man threatened.

"Go ahead, I'll press my own," Angel countered. "Trespassing, forced entry and I'm sure there are a few others I'm forgetting. That assault charge will be thrown out faster than you can even exhale. I also have friends on the force who'll make the charges against you stick like super glue. Take my advice, get out of Sunnydale before they find you."

"Can you at least give Buffy a message for me?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Maybe. What's the message?"

"I'm staying at the Sunnydale Motel, room 403. Have her meet me at three o'clock in my room so we can talk."

"No. The only place you'll be meeting her is in a public area, if she were even to agree to it. God only knows what you'll do to her if you are alone."

Griffin rolled his eyes. "Fine. There's a park across the street from the motel. She and I can meet there. Is that public enough for you?"

"It's perfect. Now leave."

"Will you give her the message?"

"If I talk to her. Maybe."

Angel slammed the door shut and closed the curtains to keep the man from looking inside. When he returned to the kitchen he found Buffy standing by the sink with her head in her hands. "He's gone," he told her.

She looked up, her eyes red and puffy from crying. "I should have known he'd find me. Thank you for not telling him I'm here. The last thing I want to do is see him right now."

"He wants to meet with you today at three."

"I know. I heard everything you two said."

Angel placed his palm under her chin, lifting her head so that she looked him in the eye. He wanted so badly to kiss her and make all her pain go away, but knew it would only complicate things; he had to remind himself that their relationship would have to be strictly platonic until her annulment was finalized. "You don't have to see him if you don't feel up to it."

Buffy shook her head. "I may not be ready now, but by three o'clock I'll have plenty to say to him." She sniffled. "How hard did you slam that door? I heard his nose crack from all the way back here."

"Hard enough to make him bleed," he replied with a satisfied smile. "But I don't think it's broken."

"Too bad. It would have served the bastard right. And I would have loved to see it."

---

"Okay…Right…Got it. Are you sure about this? Is that even legal?" Angel asked over the phone. "All right, I'll tell her. Thanks, Spike. See you later this week. Bye."

Once he'd hung up the phone, Buffy looked at Angel with suspicion in her eyes. "Your lawyer's name is Spike? Where did you find him?"

"Spike is his nickname. His real name is William Roberts," he informed her. "And he's an old friend from college. We dormed together freshman year and have been good friends ever since."

She nodded. "Oh. Well, what did he have to say? And is what legal?"

"First of all, you have a consultation with him tomorrow at noon. He'll go over everything you need to know about getting your marriage annulled. Also, he doesn't advise that you see Griffin this afternoon; he thinks it'll be easier on you if you let him deal with it."

Buffy shook her head in disagreement. "I need to do this. I have to face Griffin sooner or later. And I'd rather it be sooner."

"That's what I figured. Spike understands that he can't stop you from going, but if you are going to see him you might as well use it to your advantage. He suggested that you keep a tape recorder in your purse and record your meeting."

She scrunched up her nose. "Is that legal?"

Angel smiled at her question, given that he had asked the same thing. "According to him, it is. You can use it as a bargaining chip if he says something incriminating. In case he wants to contest the annulment or something of that nature."

"Do you think he will contest it?"

"I wish I knew, Buffy. But Spike doesn't think he will. A divorce means alimony and given the circumstances…"

"But what about the fact that I cheated on him?" she questioned. "He could use that against me."

"Griffin doesn't have to know about that. He can make accusations, but as long as he can't prove it, it's your word against his. The battered wife versus the abusive husband. Spike guarantees you the annulment; Griffin won't have any choice but to give it to you."

She exhaled the breath she'd been holding. "Are you coming with me to the park?"

He shook his head. "No. Me being there will only complicate things for you. Besides, I've got some grocery shopping to do." * By the time three-ten rolled around, Griffin had just about given up hope that Buffy would show for their meeting. He'd been sitting on the park bench for twenty minutes waiting for her, and she was ten minutes late. It crossed his mind that Angel didn't give her the message, but didn't see him as the type to do such a thing.

"Didn't expect me to show up, did you?" a voice from behind him asked.

He turned around and saw his wife standing a foot away. Her face wore an unreadable expression, and he knew he had his work cut out for him if he was going to convince her to return home with him. "I wasn't sure, to be completely honest."

"Well, I had my doubts about coming." Buffy made her way around to the side of the bench and sat down next to him. "But it's something I knew I had to do."

"Let me say what I have to say," Griffin began. "Buffy, I am so sorry for what I did. Hurting you was the last thing I ever wanted to do. You're my entire life and I love you more than anything in the world. And I screwed up big time."

"You certainly got that right."

Griffin took her hand and grasped it tightly. "I want to make it up to you."

"It's too late for that."

"No, no it can't be. I made one little mistake and you want to throw away all our years together?"

Buffy gaped at her husband, unable to believe what he'd just said. "One little mistake? We've been over this before, Griffin. Hitting me isn't simply a little mistake. How can I ever be able to trust you? Now I know that I can't. I let it go once, but never again. It's over."

"Whatever happened to second chances?" he demanded.

"I gave you one and you messed it up. I won't give you a second second chance; some things cannot be forgiven."

'No. This can't be happening.' "I'll do anything if you'll take me back. You can work, talk to any of your old high school and college friends, I'll even let you have a baby if it's that important to you."

Something inside of Buffy snapped with his last statement. "You'll let me? You'll *let* me? Excuse me, but whose life is this? You don't get to decide when I have a child. I do. And as of right now, you are the last man on earth I would want to raise a child with."

"Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"Yeah you did," she said with a smirk. "Nothing you can say or do or even promise me will convince me to take you back."

"What exactly do you plan on doing?" Griffin wanted to know.

"I have a consultation with a lawyer tomorrow. I want an annulment. The marriage is over. I want nothing more to do with you. As far as I'm concerned, this marriage never happened."

He shook his head. "You can't mean that."

"I can and I do. The next time we talk will be through our lawyers." Buffy stood up to leave. "You'll be hearing from mine shortly."

Griffin grabbed her forcefully. "It won't happen, Buffy. If you think I'll let you walk away from me, you are sadly mistaken."

"You don't have a choice in the matter. You either agree to the annulment or I sue for divorce. Considering that you slapped me twice, I have enough evidence to get a hefty settlement. Give it up, Griffin, it's over."

"What are you going to do now? Shack up with your ex-boyfriend slash lover?" he shouted angrily.

"What I do with my personal life from this point on is none of your business. Angel is a good friend, he cares about me and what I want. And that's more than I can say for you," she shot back.

"How can you throw away nine happy years?"

She yanked herself from his grasp. "How can you live with yourself after treating me the way you have? Just give me the annulment. If you ever loved me you'll let me be happy."

"Is this what you want, or what Angel wants?"

"It's what I want. Will you do it?"

"I'll give it consideration. That's the best I can do right now," he answered. "But you should know I'm not ready for this to be over. We can work through this."

Buffy pulled a piece of paper out of her purse and handed it to him. "No, we can't. This is my attorney's phone number. His name is William Roberts. Call him when you have an answer; don't call me or go near Angel. He might actually break your nose next time. And I wouldn't put it past him."

---

"Dinner was great, Angel," Buffy complimented later that evening. "I can't get over what a good cook you are."

He shrugged his shoulders as he washed a plate in the sink. "I'm not a good cook, I'm just really good at following the directions on the back of the box."

Buffy laughed, taking the plate out of his hand so she could dry it. Their hands touched, and she felt a surge of electricity shoot through her body. Quickly, she moved her hand away. "Well, you're better off than I am. The only thing I excel at is making reservations."

"I think you're being too hard on yourself," Angel admonished. "Didn't you tell me that Griffin wanted you home to make dinner every night?"

"He did want me home, but that doesn't mean I was any good at it. I can make simple things, like spaghetti, and chicken, and macaroni and cheese. Other than that, it's take-out or dine in."

He handed her a glass to dry. "Still love Chinese food?"

"Oh yeah. Orange chicken, mixed vegetables, rice…you're making me hungry again! It has been so long since I've had a good Chinese dinner. Griffin can't stand it, though, so we never went out for it. The best place in Sunnydale for Chinese was–"

"Tai Pei," Angel interrupted.

"Yep. *Please* tell me it's still around."

"And still going strong. They relocated near the high school last year, so I stop by at least once a week during my free period." Tossing the towel on the counter, Buffy turned around and leaned her back against it, resting her elbows on the Formica tiles. "You as a teacher. It's a shock and yet it's not."

"How so?"

"I don't know. Back in high school you were so smart; hell, you're the only reason I even graduated. When we first started hanging out after I moved here, I pictured you as a brainy professor-type. But that was before I got to know you. I suppose I figured you'd end up as a doctor and not a teacher."

"A brainy professor-type?" Angel laughed with raised eyebrows. "Thanks, I think."

"You know what I mean. Although I'm sure your female students are happy you chose teaching as your profession."

He didn't quite know how to take her last statement. "Meaning…?"

"Come on, Angel. You can't honestly tell me you don't know how good-looking you are. I'm willing to bet that a lot of your female students purposely stay after school for additional help. Am I right?"

"Well, I do offer review classes."

"And what's the ratio of girls to boys? Truthfully."

After thinking for several moments, Angel replied, "Two to one."

"I knew it. Those girls only stay after so you can be their eye candy. Take it from a girl who used to do the same thing when she was their age."

"What teacher did you gawk at back then? And why didn't I know about it?" he questioned playfully.

She had to smile at his naïveté. "It was you, silly. Remember the day Larry Munson gave you that black eye because I told him we were going to Homecoming together? I didn't really need help on my Math homework. I just waned to be near you. And I would do it again in a heartbeat."

"I never knew that."

"You do now. And now that you know about all those female students of yours, do I have to beat them off with a stick if they try anything smart?"

Angel chuckled. "I think we've still got plenty of time before we need to worry about that happening."

"Oh." Her tone didn't hide her disappointment. 'I guess it will be quite a while before Angel lets me back into his life.'

He could sense what was going through Buffy's mind. "School doesn't start for another two months. The only girls you need to be worried about are the ones on the softball team I coach. But they are absolutely no threat. You are the only girl I have eyes for. Or designs on."

---

At five minutes to ten, Buffy and Angel sat on his couch, relaxing and watching television. "I don't get it," she started. "How can you watch this stuff?"

"It's entertainment."

"Still…it's not reality-based. And it's not like you don't know what happens to these characters in the future. Clark becomes Superman and falls in love with Lois Lane. Lana ends up with a kid that isn't Clark's, Lex becomes a supervillain, and who cares what happens to Chloe and Whitney. Do I even need to mention that the woman who plays Clark's mother played Lana in one of the Superman movies? And don't you find it the least bit humorous that Bo Duke is Clark's father?"

Angel sighed. "Buffy, it's a television show. The reason I like it so much is because I know what happens to them. I know Clark and Lana won't end up together. I don't like those shows where you fall in love with a couple and you wait seven years for them to finally get together, only to have them end up on separate shows with no chance in hell of ever being truly happy. Why should I waste my energy?"

"Are you done with your rant?"

"Yes."

"Good. No offense, but you need a life."

Before Angel had a chance to respond, the telephone rang. Reaching over, he picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

"Hello, Peaches."

Groaning at the voice he recognized, Angel shook his head. "Hi, Spike. What's going on? Are you at Willie's Bar and had your car keys stolen again?"

"Very funny, mate. That only happened once, thank you very much. This is a business call for your girl. Is she still there?" Spike asked.

"Yeah, hold on." Angel passed the phone to Buffy. "It's for you. It's Spike, so I assume it has something to do with the annulment."

She put the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hi, Buffy. This is Spike Roberts, your attorney. Sorry for calling so late; I hope I didn't interrupt anything important."

"Not at all. Is something wrong?"

"Quite the contrary. I am calling with very good news, in fact. I just got off the phone with Griffin Montgomery. It seems your meeting this afternoon went exceptionally well. He agreed to the annulment," Spike told her. "He called me half an hour ago."

Her green eyes opened as wide as saucers. "You're kidding."

"I'm not. With his full cooperation, your marriage should be dissolved by the end of September at the latest. Congratulations, Buffy. We'll go over more of the details when we meet tomorrow. I just had to call and tell you."

"Thank you so much."

"You're welcome."

They said their goodbyes and Buffy turned off the phone. She saw Angel's expectant look and grinned at him. "Griffin agreed to the annulment."

"That's great news. I'm happy for you."

The two embraced over the unexpected news; they were one step closer to being together. "Thank you, Angel," Buffy whispered in his ear.

"What for?"

"For being here. For giving me the strength to leave an unhappy marriage. And for loving me."

They faced each other and stared in one anothers' eyes for several seconds before moving their heads closer together. Their lips met in a soft kiss that surprised both of them, but neither pulled away from it. Both of them wanted it, both of them needed it. They'd been dancing around it since Buffy arrived on his doorstep, though they did nothing about it. Now they couldn't stop fate from following its course.

Buffy wound her arms around his back, feeling the muscles contract as their kiss deepened. Her body was pressed against his, her soft one contrasting to his hard one. While their tongues danced with frenzy, their hands roamed, seeking out new treasures to discover. They throbbed for one another; Buffy ached for his touch in a way she had for no other. Even in high school, her desire for him hadn't been this strong.

Angel did his best to ignore the tiny voice in his head that told him to stop. All he wanted to do was kiss her, touch her, feel her as if it were for the first and last time. He wanted to love her, to take her in every room of the mansion, to make love to her the way he had planned to ten years earlier. But it had to be perfect; and groping like teenagers on his living room couch wasn't the perfection he craved. The night of the reunion had been frantic and rushed. Their "true" first time would begin as something much more romantic.

"Buffy, stop," he said, pulling her hands from under his shirt. "We can't do this. Not right now."

She gazed at him with confusion written all over her face. "What are you talking about? I want you and it's fairly obvious you want me. What's the big problem?"

"You're still married."

"Not for long."

"I can't be with you like that until you're not married anymore. I'm sorry," Angel apologized. "This – us – has to be platonic until Griffin is out of the picture forever."

Buffy groaned in frustration; she'd never met anyone as stubborn as Angel Brennan. "Angel, that could be months from now. Do you really want to wait that long? I know I don't. How about we compromise. After I sign the first set of papers for the annulment, we celebrate by making love. Can you agree to that? As a sign of faith that I have every intention of leaving Griffin."

Even though his better judgement told him to say no, Angel's hormones took over. "Okay. But no sooner."

"Can we at least make out a little until then?"

He laughed at her suggestion. "I don't know…I seem to have a hard time keeping my hands off of you."

"No complaints here," she said, pushing his head towards hers for another kiss.

---

Friday night, Buffy greeted Angel with a smile when he returned home from softball practice. He was dirty and she thought he looked drained. "Hey, you. How was practice?" she asked.

He groaned and slumped down onto the couch. His arms fell to his sides like strands of spaghetti, his legs felt like rubber bands and he could hardly breathe. "I'm gonna die. I'm way too old for this."

"How come? You told me the girls are good players."

"They usually are. Apparently today was an off-day for them. I've never had to run for so many stray balls in the two years I've been coaching."

"Aww, poor baby." She walked around to the back of the couch and proceeded to rub Angel's shoulders. The muscles felt tense under her fingers; she did her best to loosen them up.

He closed his eyes, letting the feeling of Buffy massaging his shoulders take him over. It had been years since he'd felt so calm and relaxed. "Hmm…that feels so good. Where on earth did you learn to do that?"

"Do what? Massage? It's not hard to do. And you are so tense, Angel."

"I know. I have a lot of stress in my life. Which is sad considering it's the beginning of summer vacation."

She leaned down and whispered in his ear. "Then let's make tonight as stress-free as possible."

The sultry tone of her voice heated his blood, made his heart pound and aroused him. He swallowed the lump in his throat and pleaded with his body to behave. "Buffy…"

Unbeknownst to him, she smiled slyly behind his back. "Yes, Angel?" she innocently asked.

'Down, boy,' he told himself. "Nothing. So, um, what exactly did you do today?" Angel wanted to change the subject, removing any sexual undertones.

"Well, I had a meeting with your friend Spike at three-thirty, went out to dinner with Willow and Tara, then I did some shopping at the mall. It was fairly boring. Not nearly as exciting as your day, apparently. Or as tiring."

"Seventeen- and eighteen-year-old girls will drain all your energy."

Buffy laughed, continuing to rub him. "Did I drain your energy when I was that age?"

"Yes. I spent most of my energy trying to keep you from getting expelled from high school. But I was ten years younger and totally in love with you. I'd have done anything for you back then," Angel explained.

"What about now?"

"Don't get me wrong, I'm still in love with you, but I've since put limits on what I'll do for you. Or anyone, for that matter. I am older and wiser. And I get tired more easily."

She agreed wholeheartedly. "We both are. And we both do."

"My father called this afternoon while you were out. Alexis and her family are coming down to visit this weekend and there is a picnic at the house on Sunday afternoon. We're invited."

Her face paled. "We? Your parents know I'm back in town? What did they say about me?"

"Don't worry, Buffy, they don't know you're in Sunnydale again. They did tell me to bring a date if I want to, so I'm going to bring you."

"Thank god they don't know about us." She sighed with relief. If Mr. and Mrs. Brennan found out what happened after the reunion, she'd never be able to face them.

"My dad knows."

Buffy stopped what she was doing from the shock of Angel's words. "What? Your father knows? That's it, Angel, I'm humiliated! I can't go to this thing on Sunday. I'll never be able to deal with their horrible thoughts of me. I loved your parents like they were my own and–"

"It's okay. He doesn't know everything," Angel interrupted her.

"Huh?"

"Dad only knows that I had an affair with a married woman. He doesn't know it's you. And as far as I'm concerned, it isn't any of their business. You're getting an annulment, and when it's completed we'll be together. End of story."

Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her chin on the top of his head. "You mean that? Really mean it?"

"Yes, I do. Now if you don't mind, I am going to take a long, hot shower and wash some of this dirt off my body."

---

After his relaxing shower, Angel felt refreshed. The hot water relieved his sore muscles and soothed his nerves. He had no idea how his parents survived his and Alexis' teen years. Granted, he'd been more of a homebody compared to his older sister, but he hadn't been easy to live with. Angel wondered how he'd handle parenthood, should the time ever come.

When he opened the bathroom door, he immediately smelled smoke. "Buffy? Is something burning?" he called.

"I lit a few candles," she replied.

"A few? The smoke alarm is gonna go off any minute." Turning off the bathroom light, he stepped into the hallway. "Where are you?"

"In your room."

Angel walked down the hall to his bedroom, the stench of the smoke becoming stronger with every step he took. Once inside his room, he stopped dead in his tracks at the sight before him: Buffy lying on his bed, clad only in a sexy black negligee. He needed to blink several times to make certain his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. On every flat surface sat a burning candle, which brought the only light to the otherwise-darkened room.

"B-Buffy," he stuttered.

"You like?" she questioned.

He shook his head in confusion. "I don't get it. What's all this for?"

"You told me on Tuesday that you and I wouldn't be intimate until I began annulment proceedings. Well, I signed the initial paperwork this afternoon and Griffin will be served on Monday morning," Buffy told him. She handed him a piece of paper. "For proof. See? That's my signature at the bottom."

Angel looked it over. "You're serious."

"Of course I am. You thought I was just fooling around?"

"No, but…"

"Look, I don't know why I married Griffin when you were the one I truly wanted to be with. Angel, it was your face I saw when I recited my wedding vows to him. I'm putting the past behind me and beginning my future with you. This is just the first step."

She got off the bed and slithered over to where Angel stood. Taking his hands in hers, she led him to the bed, pushed him into a sitting position at the edge of it and straddled him with her knees. "You never answered my question. Do you like my outfit?"

"It'll look better on the floor," he answered. "Where'd you get it?"

"I told you, I went shopping today. My credit card got quite a workout at Victoria's Secret and Frederick's of Hollywood." She licked her lips. "What do you say we work on getting this thing on the floor?"

Buffy captured Angel's lips with hers, running her fingers through his damp hair. She moaned in his mouth when she felt his gentle hands making their way up her legs, over her thighs and finally underneath her silk negligee. His fingers danced over her skin, causing her to break out in goosebumps. All he had done was touch her and already her body was on fire with want.

Angel saw how her hardened nipples pushed against the thin material of her garment and, smiling to himself, he lifted his hands to her breasts to pay them their rightful attention. He ran the pads of his thumbs across the pebbles, feeling Buffy shudder from his touch. Their lips were still fused together, their tongues dancing erotically and their hearts were pounding uncontrollably. He dropped his left hand to her thighs, running a single finger along her center, feeling the moisture pooling there, waiting to aid in his entrance.

In one swift motion, he lowered his right hand, grabbed the hem of the flimsy nightgown and lifted it over Buffy's head. Instead of bringing his lips to hers again, he suckled on her neck, finding her pulse point. Buffy closed her eyes and simply let him do what he wanted. Even thought they'd only been together a handful of times, she trusted him completely. He'd always known what she liked.

He lowered his head, kissing a line from her neck to her breasts, nibbling on one nipple while fondling her neglected breast with his hand. Through her haze of desire, Buffy managed to regain control over her body and brought her right hand to Angel's boxer shorts. She could feel his erection straining its tight confines. Slipping her hand between the buttons, she stroked him.

Angel never expected her to do that; it had been ten years since he'd felt her hands on him there. Her mere touch sent him to the edge, and he knew he'd have to enter her soon or he would explode. She wrapped her long fingers around his member and ran them up and down from base to tip. With her left hand, she unbuttoned the only garment he wore.

He raised himself off the bed high enough for her to remove his boxers and then rolled them over so that he was on top. Continuing to suck on her nipples, alternating from one to the other, Angel used one arm to hold his weight. With his free one, he found her wet center and inserted his pointer finger. He rubbed his thumb along her swollen bud until he heard her climax beneath him. She spread her legs wider, giving him easier access to her core as he slid his middle finger inside. Wiggling them around, he felt her inner walls clamp around them as she orgasmed for the second time.

Angel found himself unprepared when Buffy flipped him over and grinned down at him. Her face was red, her chest heaved and sweat glistened over her skin. She sat on his thighs, sitting so that his penis touched her clit gently. Without a word, she brought her hand to it, running her fingernails along the skin. He moaned, fighting to keep control. And he all but lost it completely when she flicked her tongue across the tip.

Leaning forward, Buffy placed her hands on his chest, climbed on her knees and lowered herself onto him. She took all of him at once, but remained unmoving once he was inside. Slowly, she began to move her hips in a circular motion. Angel put his hands on them to help her, but when he bucked himself up to thrust deeper inside, she held him down. It was a signal to him that she was in charge.

She tried desperately to find her G-spot but seemed unable to do so. "Angel, please…" she moaned.

With his right hand, he found her clit and tenderly pinched it, successfully sending her over the edge. In the throes of her orgasm, he flipped them over and thrust into her repeatedly. Buffy wrapped her long legs around his waist and let Angel take over. Within a matter of minutes she reached two more peaks and Angel approached his. She clutched him tightly as he wildly thrust himself home, kissing him passionately when his hot seed shot through her.

"Sorry it wasn't the romantic setting you had in mind for us," she apologized, stretching her tired body along the length of him once their lovemaking ended.

"It was perfect. You were quite…aggressive," Angel commented. "I don't remember you ever being like that."

"Yeah well, Griffin always wanted to be in charge when we did it. I wanted to see what it felt like to be in control for a change."

"And?"

She planted a kiss on his cheek. "It felt brazen and wanton. And absolutely wonderful."

"It was all of the above. I loved every second of it. You can take charge anytime you like. And you know what? I'm glad we didn't wait until the annulment was completed. I don't think I could have waited that long to be with you again."

"Same here. I don't know about you, but I'm beat. That took a lot out of me," Buffy said.

"Me, too."

---

Sunday afternoon rolled around much too quickly for Buffy. After spending Friday night and most of Saturday morning in bed with Angel, she felt as if she could conquer the world. But as soon as she woke up on Sunday, a sense of dread filled her. She was going to be re-introduced to his family as the woman in his life, and she feared their reaction given the circumstances of their breakup ten years earlier. Would Angel's parents hold her responsible for him leaving only days after graduation? Would they blame her for his unhappiness that first year of college? Or would they simply slam the door in her face?

Angel walked into the room he'd converted into an office, finding Buffy staring at the computer monitor. "I was wondering where you went to."

"I wanted to start working on my column for next week. I promised Beth I'd fax a copy to her by tomorrow afternoon so it'll be ready for Thursday's edition," she told him.

"You know, we never really talked about what you'll do about your writing once you finalize the move out here," he said.

She nodded, agreeing with him. "I know we haven't. Angel, I love my job and I don't want to quit."

"You know I'd never ask you to do that. But don't you think it'll be difficult to write for the Wichita Press when you live in Sunnydale, California?"

"I don't think so. My weekly column is about life. No necessarily about my life, but how I see things and the world around me. I have a pretty loyal fan base and I'm sure they'll love reading about life in Sunnydale."

"For your opening line you can tell them there isn't any corn," Angel suggested.

Buffy groaned at him. "That is such a big misconception. Kansas is not the corn state, Nebraska is. I thought you passed History and Geography."

"I did. But that was over a decade ago. I'm lucky I remembered that Kansas is one of the ones in the middle."

"Very astute of you." She stood up and smirked at him.

"Are you ready to go? We were supposed to be at my parents' house twenty minutes ago," he told her.

Her face fell and her heart pounded with nervousness. "Maybe you'd better go without me. I've got a lot of work to do if I'm going to have this article written by tomorrow afternoon. I still have to write the first draft, edit, revise, proofread…"

"Forget it, Buffy. Nice try, but you're still coming with me."

"I can't. I-I'm not dressed for it."

Angel took a hold of her hand, rubbing it reassuringly. "What you're wearing is fine; it's not a black tie event. Now let's go."

Swallowing her pride, Buffy nodded slowly. "Okay. But I'm scared."

"Don't be scared. They loved you ten years ago and they'll love you again today."

More

<< back