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Stepping into the living room, Angel – now fully-dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt – found his ex-girlfriend sitting on the couch. Taking a deep breath, he made his way over, sitting down next to her. She looked up at him out of the corner of her eye.

Megan turned her body slightly so that she faced him. "I thought we had something special, and that we could have a second chance at it. But then I find you in bed, having sex with someone else. Who is she, Angel? Some girl you met on your way home?"

"You did anyway," she replied sorrowfully. "Tell me who she is, I at least deserve that much, don't you think?"

He looked down the hall, seeing that his bedroom door was still closed. Buffy was still getting dressed. "I was with Buffy."

"Your ex-girlfriend? Although by the way you two were going at it, she's not exactly your ex anymore, is she?"

"Let me guess. You went back to Sunnydale, took one look at Blondie and decided to continue where you left off?"

"That's not how it happened. Buffy and I have a lot of stuff to work through. We're taking things slow, one day at a time."

Megan laughed. "Oh, I can see how slow you two are taking things. Did you wait at least one day before you started screwing her again? Totally forgetting about me, of course, the woman you left behind in Ohio."

"We ended things, Megan, before I left for California. You broke up with me, remember? You couldn't handle that I still had feelings for Buffy and you called it disgusting."

"Because I know why you were calling. I don't want to get back together with you. Not when I don't love you."

Just then, his bedroom door opened and closed, and Buffy came into the room. She glanced around, obviously uncomfortable around Angel's ex-girlfriend. Smiling awkwardly, she introduced herself. "I'm Buffy. It's – it's nice to meet you."

"Yeah, sure it is." Megan looked at the young woman standing just inside the living room. She wore blue jeans and a heavy black sweater, but even with her loose clothing, Megan could see how thin the younger woman was. With her long blonde hair, slight figure, perfect complexion and tanned skin, she was epitome of the California girl. But the image of Buffy moaning Angel's name in bliss and writhing her body underneath his wouldn't leave Megan's mind.

"Why don't you sit down, Buffy," Angel suggested. "Obviously, all three of us need to talk."

Megan agreed, running her hand through her dirty blonde hair. "Yes, we certainly do."

Buffy caught sight of a diamond ring on Megan's left hand. A two carat diamond in a gold setting rested on her finger. She immediately recognized it as her engagement ring, the one Angel had given her on New Year's Eve three years earlier. Buffy fumed.

She turned to Angel. "You gave her my engagement ring? It was mine! You said you bought it especially for me, that it called out to you. How dare you give it to someone else!"

Angel gazed at Megan's hand, seeing Buffy's engagement ring on her finger. 'I never gave Megan that ring. Where did she get it?' "Buffy, I would never give her your ring."

He got up off the couch, motioning for her to follow him into the outside hallway. Closing the door behind them, Angel left Megan in the apartment alone while he talked to Buffy privately.

"You have to believe me when I say that I didn't give Megan your engagement ring. I would and could never do that."

"I don't know. When I left for Sunnydale, it was still in my drawer. I haven't taken it out in months. Megan, as far as I know, wasn't aware I had it. That's your ring, I bought it for you. I could not give it to someone else," Angel explained.

"You were with her for so long, longer than you were with me. I can't help but be a little jealous. And need I mention that she's beautiful? She could be a model, Angel. I'll never be that pretty. I'm so ordinary."

He placed his hands on her shoulders. "Maybe I was with her longer, but you're the woman I love. You're the woman I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. You're the woman I'm going to have children with, not Megan. And to me, you're more beautiful than her. Than anyone on this planet."

Angel silenced her with a kiss. "I'm going to go back in there and talk to her. And then you and I are going to pack up and get out of here as soon as possible."

"I'll only be a couple minutes. Why don't you wait here? It'll be safer for all of us."

Angel left Buffy in the hallway and went back into the apartment. Megan hadn't moved in the time he was gone. 'This is going to be short and sweet,' he told himself.

"She seems like the jealous type," Megan commented. "And she's got quite a temper, too."

"I – I came here a couple days before Christmas. Dusting and straightening up for when you came back," she began. "When I was putting some clothes in your drawer, I found it. Angel, I assumed you bought it for me; that you were going to ask me to marry you, but then I said all that stupid stuff and you left."

Her lower lip quivered. "I missed you so much. You were three thousand miles away and I thought that if I wore it when you came back, you'd know how much I want to be your wife."

"That's not going to happen. I bought that ring for Buffy three years ago. It was her engagement ring until we broke up and she gave it back. I never had any intention of giving it to you. So I suggest that you stop assuming things and give me the ring back before Buffy comes in here and rips it off your finger herself."

Looking down at the ring she loved, Megan slowly began to remove it. She placed it in Angel's hand. "It's really beautiful. I wish it were mine."

"Megan, it's over. You and me, we're through. I love Buffy and I'm moving back to Sunnydale to be with her."

Angel shook his head. "I can. She and I bought a house together, we're building a future there. All of our family and friends are there. I want to be wherever Buffy is; I don't want to be separated from her any longer."

"You and I are going to have a baby at the end of May. I'm four months pregnant. I just found out on Christmas Eve. And it wasn't one of those cheesy home pregnancy tests, either. Doctor-verified and everything. I'm pregnant."

Angel couldn't say anything. He was too shocked by Megan's revelation to find any words. Megan noticed how tongue-tied he was.

"Yeah, that's right, Angel. I am carrying your child, not your little Barbie Doll. Me."

Megan shrugged. "Nothing's one hundred percent guaranteed. Obviously, God had different plans and the condoms and my birth control pills couldn't keep it from happening. We made a baby. A tiny little baby was created one night when we made love. I'm giving you something Blondie never did."

"Buffy and I had a son, but he died. She had a miscarriage," Angel informed her.

"I'll be able to hold onto our child, unlike her. See, you can't leave me now. Not when we're having a baby."

Angel hated saying what he had to say next, but it was something that needed to be said. It went against everything he stood for, but he couldn't commit himself to Megan, even in her condition. "I'm not staying with you, Megan. Having my baby isn't going to make me love you or make me leave Buffy."

"You have to stay! We have to get married before he or she is born. I'm Catholic, Angel. This child has to be born in wedlock."

She held her head high. Megan knew he wouldn't abandon the mother of his child. Angel was too noble and old-fashioned to do something like that. "Watch me."

"I'll be a father to him or her. I'll love this child no matter what; I'll see to it that both of you are well taken care of, but I will not marry you."

Her eyes glazed over with anger. "If you don't stay here and marry me, you'll never see your child, Angel."

"Oh, are we going to play that game? A little hide and seek threat? Never give me an ultimatum, Megan, unless you really mean it."

"I meant every word I said. Unless you marry me, I'll move where you'll never find me and you'll never see your child. Never be a part of his or her life."

"That won't happen. I'll hire detectives to find you. I won't stop looking until you're found. And then I'll file for full custody of our child. I'll paint you as an unfit mother who tried to keep my child away from me. You want to play dirty? Fine, I can do that."

"What? All so you can be with your new little sex toy? Bit extreme, even for you, isn't it?"

Angel gritted his teeth. "Don't mess with me when it comes to my child or my love for Buffy. I can give just as good as I get."

Megan stood up. "All I want is for us to be a family. To raise our child together."

"I want this child, but I'm not going to lose the woman I love to marry a woman I don't."

"You made your choice, then," she said, heading for the door. "I hope you are prepared to handle the consequences."

As she walked down the hall, Megan stopped where Buffy was sitting on the steps. "Congratulations, Buffy, you won. He's all yours."

"No, you're not. You got him. In the end, you won the battle." 'But you're not half as sorry as you're going to be,' Megan thought.

Angel was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands when Buffy returned to the apartment. She couldn't see his face, but innately knew that he was upset. Seeing your ex always brings back memories. After she broke up with Riley, Buffy found it difficult to go to her Psychology class because she knew she'd see him. What made it even worse was the knowledge that he loved her and she'd slept with him when she didn't feel the same way. But after a few weeks, the uncomfortableness went away and she learned to move on.

She sat down next to him, placing her left hand on his leg. "I take it you and Megan had your talk."

"She thought it was for her; that I was planning to propose to her. But I told her that the ring belonged only to you, not her."

"No. Now we can pack your stuff and get out of here. I've been here for three hours and I already hate it. I want to go back home, to our new house. Where the memories are happy, not filled with jealous ex-girlfriends," she said to him.

"There's something I have to tell you," he started. "Something you're not going to like."

Buffy blinked in disbelief. "Okay, I must be hearing things. I could have sworn you just told me that Megan's pregnant."

Buffy shook her head. No, it couldn't be true; her Angel impregnated Megan, his ex-girlfriend? "Maybe it's someone else's baby. That's it, she had an affair and got pregnant and is trying to pass it off as yours to keep you in her life. Or for your money. So you'll take care of her and her little kid. It's a ploy, Angel."

"She isn't lying. Meg and I spent almost every waking moment together when we started dating, through most of our relationship, actually. If she had cheated on me, I would have known about it. I'm sorry, but it's not a ploy. It's my child. It couldn't be anyone else's."

She brought a trembling hand to her mouth, afraid that she'd let out a scream if she didn't cover it. "Everything was going so well this time. Nobody trying to break us up, no vampire mothers stalking us, no Watcher's Council to get in our way. I honestly thought we'd live happily ever after; that our life would be a fairy tale. Like Cinderella or Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. But now…now it's all messed up again."

Buffy fought back the tears that were burning her eyes. "You have no idea how much it hurts. Actually, I'm beyond hurt. Devastated is more the word that suits what I'm feeling."

"And that makes it all better? To know that you *accidentally* got Megan pregnant?"

Angel tried to put his arms around her, but Buffy moved out of his reach. "We were always careful. The entire time we were sleeping together, Megan was on the pill and I used condoms. There was always a possibility, but I didn't want to get her pregnant."

She stared at him, her green eyes wide. "You're sorry? Does being sorry just automatically fix things? Does it make everything right? Does it make Megan any less pregnant with the baby I wanted to give you but you didn't want?"

"Don't say that. You know how much I want to have children with you. I'm just not ready for that yet."

"But you're ready to have them with your ex-girlfriend? What makes it any different?"

"You are making it seem as if I wanted it to happen. I didn't. But I can't go back in time and fix it so that I never had sex with her."

"If it would keep from hurting you, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I love you, Buffy, and I wouldn't change a thing that happened between us, the good or the bad. But having a baby with Megan isn't something I wanted, and I told her that."

She gave up, and let the tears fall down her cheeks. "Angel, I want to have another baby with you. For so long, I thought I'd never have that chance. I wanted so badly to be the mother of your children, and now it looks like your ex-girlfriend gets that privilege."

Buffy's lower lip quivered. "I love you. I always thought we were meant to be together, that it would be you and me until the end, surrounded by our children and grandchildren. I never expected to share you with another woman."

"You don't have to share me with Megan, Buffy. I'll always be yours," Angel told her.

"No, that's where you're wrong. She'll forever be a part of your life. You're having a baby together, that's a permanent bond. Megan has a piece of you that I can't touch. And it hurts to know that I'll never have you all to myself."

"Megan's not the woman I love, she's not the woman I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with. You are."

Standing up, Buffy towered over Angel, making him look up at her. "You're not seeing the big picture. She's carrying your baby. It means you'll have to talk to her on the phone all the time and see her on a regular basis. You two are going to have this incredible bond – a child. Where do I fit into the equation? I'm just going to be a third wheel, and I don't want that."

"Yes, it will. When we get back to Sunnydale, I'm going to see a lawyer. Buffy, I'm filing for full custody of the baby. Megan's threatening to move away and take the baby if I don't marry her. She's not thinking right, she going to do something stupid and I want to make sure nothing happens to our child."

"I have to. I refuse to be forced into a marriage with someone I don't love when the woman I do love is standing right in front of me. Megan's making me choose between my child and you. I'm not going to give either one of you up to meet her selfish demands."

Buffy looked down. "I can't let you do this, Angel. Whether I like it or not, this is your child's future we're talking about. And I don't want to be responsible for him or her growing up without a father, without both parents."

"I'm talking about doing the most unselfish thing I've ever done. I am letting you go."

She wiped the tears from her eyes with her palms. "Yes. You should be with the mother of your baby, not me. The two of you should raise this baby together, be a real family. Go be with Megan, where you belong."

"No," Buffy disagreed. "It makes perfect sense. Angel, do you remember the first time we made love?"

"You told me afterwards that you didn't want to be like your father; that you'd stand by a girl if you got her pregnant. I'm willing to give you up so you can do that."

"It's not your decision, Angel. If we stay together, Megan will leave, just like you told me. And that baby will grow up not knowing his or her real father. I don't want that knowledge weighing on my conscience."

"It's how I feel, and you can't change my mind. I can't be with you under those circumstances. As much as it breaks my heart, this is how it has to be."

"I'm going back to Sunnydale with you tomorrow afternoon," Angel informed Buffy. "I'm not staying here."

She faced the mirror in his bedroom, staring at his reflection as he stood behind her. When he'd entered the room, she'd been brushing her hair and getting ready for bed. "Why?"

"Because I love you and I don't want to lose you because of something stupid that I did."

"This is a baby we're talking about. Stupid is leaving the toilet seat up, a child is serious business. You can't take it lightly."

"I'm not. No matter what you say, I'm staying with you. Where you go, I go. I'm not easy to get rid of."

"I meant what I said to you earlier. I won't be responsible for you never knowing your child."

Angel stepped closer to her, putting his hands on her shoulders, gently kneading the knotted muscles. "That's not going to happen. I told you, when we get back, I'm suing for custody."

He slid her nightgown strap from her shoulder, kissing a trail along the smooth, warm flesh. Her heartbeat accelerated every time his lips met her skin, nibbling at her neck. He was continuing where they'd left off when Megan found them that afternoon. She knew what he was up to – he was trying to seduce her into changing her mind. But it wouldn't work.

"I love you too much to lose you. Just stay with me. I made a mistake, everyone makes them. You're hurt, I understand that. Or don't you remember how I felt when you told me you slept with Riley?" he reminded her.

She turned to face him. "Riley never got me pregnant. Try to put yourself in my shoes. Wouldn't you be hurt, angry and upset if I had ended up pregnant from that one time I slept with him?"

"You would. Angel, forget it. You don't know what it's like for me right now, what I'm going through. Less than a week ago you told me that you don't want to start a family with me and you were so adamant about not making love to me without protection. And now you're going to be a father, but I'm not the mother. Imagine if you found out that I was going to have Riley's baby and he'd always be there. A part of our life. Lurking around the corner, having a tie to me through our child. It would eat you up."

She put her hand up to quiet him. "Don't. I don't want to hear it. Go to bed. And don't even think about trying anything or you'll be sleeping on the couch. I mean it."

The turned out the light and went to bed. Angel lay on his side of the bed, afraid to even touch her. He stayed up most of the night thinking about how he'd probably lost Buffy because of something he couldn't even control. He'd never meant to get Megan pregnant, it just happened. 'I really screwed things up this time. She's never going to forgive me. Things will never be the way they were before.'

Geoffrey and Mrs. Summers returned from their honeymoon on New Year's Eve. It had been four days since Buffy and Angel came back from Cleveland, and things between the two were still strained. As soon as they got back, Buffy went to her mother's home and stayed there until her mother's honeymoon ended. She couldn't bear to share a bed with him, so she decided to stay at her mom's.

But with her mother and stepfather coming back, Buffy had to go back to her new home. None of her friends knew about their troubles, and Buffy was too embarrassed to tell them. At Mrs. Summers', she wouldn't answer the phone or the door. All she wanted was to be alone. Before they came back, Buffy had to return home to Angel.

When she got back, she found Angel waiting in the living room, reading the newspaper. He got up and looked at her as she walked in. It had been days since they'd last seen or spoken to each other.

"Well, my mom and Geoffrey are coming back in a few hours and I didn't want to be there when they got back. It might bring up questions I'm not ready to answer."

Buffy interrupted him. "I don't want to hear it, I really don't. I'm sick to death of hearing you say how sorry you are. You know what? It happened and there's nothing you can do about it. Saying you're sorry isn't going to fix everything."

"Then say it to yourself. I can pretend to be happy and cheerful and perky when everyone comes over tonight for the party, but as of tomorrow morning, I'm out of here."

She nodded. "Yes. I'm moving back home with my mother. Back in my old bedroom. And then you can be with Megan and the baby."

He outstretched his right arm to touch her shoulder. She glanced at it, but didn't say anything. "I don't want to be with her, I want to be with you."

"Buffy, I consulted a lawyer the other day and explained everything to him. He says I have a good chance, especially with Megan threatening to run away."

"Don't do it. Don't take your baby away from its mother. No child should have to grow up with only one parent."

He gave her a small smile. "The baby won't have to worry about that. You'll be his or her mother."

"What makes you think I want that? That I could allow you to take your child away from its mother? You of all people should know what it's like to grow up without a mother. How can you do that to your own child?" Buffy wanted to know.

She shrugged off his touch, walking to the stairs. "I give up. You don't understand. I'm going to the bedroom. Do me a favor, leave me alone until my mother and Geoffrey get here. Don't try to explain things to me anymore."

"How were things while Geoffrey and I were gone? Typical boring Sunnydale?" Mrs. Summers asked.

She and Buffy were upstairs in the master bedroom following the tour Buffy had given her. The size and splendor awed Mrs. Summers, and felt lucky that her daughter found a man that could make her dreams come true; one that treated her like a princess.

Buffy plopped down on the bed, followed in suit by her mother. "Sunnydale's fine, I guess. Nothing exciting happened."

"I see that. A brand new car and a ruby ring. I'd say you made out fairly well. I can't think of anyone who got such nice presents from their boyfriend. I know I never did."

"Did you two have a fight or something?" she asked, taking a guess as to why Buffy reacted so angrily.

Buffy inhaled. "Remember Angel's girlfriend in Cleveland? His ex-girlfriend, actually. Megan Rafferty?"

"Well, we went to Cleveland a few days after Christmas to get the rest of Angel's belongings from his apartment. Megan showed up and dropped a lovely little bombshell on us. It turns out that she's four months pregnant. With Angel's baby," she informed her mother.

"I was really upset; I still am. He explained everything to me – how surprised he was and how unplanned Megan's pregnancy was. Kept telling me that it was an accident, like that makes it all better, and how sorry he is about it."

Mrs. Summers hugged her daughter. 'How hurt Buffy must be by all this. Just when things were getting back on track for her and Angel, this has to happen.' "Buffy, I'm sure he is truly sorry."

Buffy nodded. "He's suing for custody. He wants me to be this baby's mother. Mom, I don't think I can raise Angel and Megan's baby. Angel doesn't even want to have a baby with me yet, but he expects me to raise his and someone else's child."

"Of course I have. But he doesn't understand why this is so hard for me. He doesn't see how wrong it is to take a child away from its real mother. So I told him to stay with Megan and to raise the baby with her."

"That's what he says. But I still want him to. Mom, I can't stay here. I'm coming back home tomorrow morning. If I stay here in this house, it'll only encourage Angel to stay. And as much as it hurts me, I have to do what's right. I have to let him be with the mother of his baby."

"And I take it Buffy didn't take the news of Megan's pregnancy too well," Geoffrey ascertained after Angel explained the situation to him.

Angel shook his head. "It really hurt her, especially when I had only told her a few days earlier that I don't think I'm ready to have children yet. I'm not ready to be a father."

"I can only imagine what she's feeling. You don't want a child with her, but you're having one with your ex-girlfriend. Angel, I warned you about this. When I visited you last Christmas, I told you that you have to look into every possibility before you began an intimate relationship with Megan. You had to be ready for anything; I knew you still loved and wanted to be with Buffy and told you to wait before you jumped into something serious."

"But you didn't listen to me, obviously. And now she's pregnant. What are you going to do about it?"

"I want to be a real father to him or her, but I won't give up Buffy. She told me to be with Megan, but I won't do that. And Meg told me that she'll take the baby away if I don't marry her. But I won't be forced into a loveless marriage," Angel said. "And Buffy won't even speak to me."

Geoffrey raised his eyebrows. "Can you blame her, Angel? Her heart must be broken. You got yourself into this mess and now you have to fix it."

"She hasn't been staying here since we got back from Cleveland. She's been staying at your house. And I know she hates me. What am I going to do?"

"Believe me, I've done more than my share of groveling. And as for wooing, we're not even sharing a bed. Buffy hasn't let me touch her in almost a week."

"Convince her to spend the night, then. Instead of telling her how sorry you are, show her."

The New Year's Eve party went off without a hitch. At one minute before midnight, everyone held a glass of champagne in their hand. The entire gang stood in Buffy and Angel's living room awaiting the year 2003. The hosts acted as if nothing was wrong between them for the sake of their guests, but each held different expectations for what the night held. While Buffy prepared to move her things out in the morning, staying the night only because her stepfather asked her to, Angel prepared to win her back any way he could.

The countdown officially began with everyone shouting the final ten seconds of 2002. "Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Happy New Year!"

Coupling up, everyone kissed their significant other as "Auld Lang Signe" played through the television speakers. Angel stood in front of Buffy, who gazed at her champagne glass with sadness. He took it out of her hand, placed it on the coffee table, put his fingers underneath her chin and raised her head so he could kiss her. Even though it went against everything she wanted, Buffy let him do it. And in mere seconds of his lips touching hers, she responded.

At two in the morning, when Angel went to bed, he found Buffy laying under the covers already asleep. In front of him lay an opportunity he wouldn't let pass him by. He climbed quietly into bed, but instead of going to sleep, he moved next to Buffy, placing feather-light kisses on her neck. He licked at her skin, wondering how he had gone so many years without her.

His hand roamed over her arms, under the covers and over her long legs. He'd made a huge mistake with Megan and wanted badly Buffy back. But to win her back, they needed to be on neutral ground; someplace where they were evenly matched. That someplace was in bed.

Buffy roused slowly from her sleep, feeling warm lips on her neck and shoulders. Involuntarily, she moaned and let him continue on until she fully woke up. Her body responded to her lover's touch, but her mind told her that she shouldn't.

"Yes. I've missed this, being able to touch you. It's the only time I feel real is when we're together. You can't deny that you feel the same."

He was right. But Buffy couldn't be with him if it meant him losing his child. "I do feel the same, but I can't. We can't."

"Yes, we can. Nothing has changed. I'm still me and you're still you. I still love you as much as I did a week ago, if not more because of your unselfishness. And we're meant to be like this. Tell me I'm wrong, Buffy. Tell me and I'll stop."

She couldn't argue with him. He was, after all, right. She did love him as much as she had before. Even with Megan having his baby, she couldn't stop feeling the way she did about him. When Buffy didn't reply, Angel removed the covers, pushing them to the end of the bed. Before she had a chance to stop him and tell him no, he was lying on top of her, caressing her lips with his. Angel began to make love to her, and she let him.

He awoke to the sounds of crying coming from Buffy, who lay next to him. 'Why is she crying?' Angel asked himself. Moving over a few inches, he put his arms around her in a show of comfort.

The feeling of his arms tenderly holding her made Buffy crying even harder. "Don't touch me," she said between sobs.

"Buffy, I don't get it. Why don't you want me to touch you? You're crying, something's wrong. Just tell me what it is. I'll make it go away."

He was completely clueless as to what Buffy was talking about. "What I did? What did I do to you?"

"Please. Don't act dumb. You really hurt me. You're supposed to love me, not cause me pain."

She shook her head. "I said no and you did it anyway. I can't enjoy something when it's being forced upon me. Like sex."

His heart must have stopped, because all of a sudden, Angel couldn't breathe. "I didn't force you to do anything you didn't want to do."

"What did you think? That having sex with you would make me forget everything? Did you have to force Megan too?"

"Don't I? Is that how you get women into bed? Forcing them and then saying that you were making love to her? And exactly how many girls have you used that line on? Wait, I have an even better question. How many other girls have you gotten pregnant?"

"I'm not like that and you know it. What is making you say all these things?" questioned Angel.

"I can't look at you with love anymore. No, I can only see you with hate and pity and disgust. For what you've done. Did you honestly think I'd stay with you after finding out that you got Megan pregnant?"

"Yeah, you want me. You just want me because I'll actually give in to you without a fight. Well, I fought and you didn't listen. Again. Just like in Los Angeles at your reunion. You can't have your cake and eat it, too. When you want sex, you don't just take it, regardless of what the girl wants."

"Please. Don't say stuff like that. You're the most important person in the universe to me."

Buffy sat up, covering herself from his eyes. "What's wrong, Angel? Does the truth hurt? All those years you spent trying not to be like your father were wasted, because look at you. You *are* him."

Angel awoke with a start. Sunlight poured into the room; it was early morning. 'Was it real?' he asked himself. 'Did Buffy really say all that to me? Did I really force her when all along I thought she was willing? I couldn't live with myself if that were the truth. That everything she said to me in the dream was real; that I have become my father without realizing it.'

He glanced over at her, seeing that she was sleeping peacefully only inches away. Touching her arm lightly, Angel realized that it had only been a dream, a horrible nightmare. What happened between them only hours before had been consensual. It hadn't been forced, they had made love.

"I'm sorry for what I've done," he apologized in a whispered voice. "You're the last person in the world I ever wanted to hurt." When he leaned over, placing a kiss on her nose, she began to stir into wakefulness.

"Good morning," he greeted with a hopeful smile. Hopeful that things between them were back to the way they were before the Cleveland trip.

Buffy groaned. "Then why do I feel like I didn't get any sleep last night? I'm so tired."

"Okay, I'm weak. Explain to me why I can't say no to you. I look at you and I forget why I'm mad at you and all I want is to hear you say you love me."

"Yes, it is. I can't even stay mad at you. I can't control my impulses when I'm around you. One look in your eyes and I just want to be in this bed – hell, anywhere – touching you. And you touching me."

Buffy sighed. "But reality sets in come morning. Everything's different in the harsh light of day. The problems we forgot about are back again in full force."

"That's why we lose ourselves in each other. We're supposed to forget about everything except the two of us."

"But I can't do that. One night of great sex doesn't make me forget what's wrong."

"Then let me make you forget again," Angel said, removing the sheets, moving over her. He kissed her with nothing but love and desire – desire to make her forget the tremendous mistake he made.

Buffy put her hands on his upper arms, pushing him off her. "I don't want to forget; I can't forget. Angel, I meant what I said. You have to be with Megan. Staying with me is only going to make things worse for everyone in the long run."

"That's where you're wrong. Staying away from you is wrong. You think this whole thing has been easy on me? It hasn't. I don't think I can handle being a father right now, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life with Megan when I don't love her. And do you know what makes it even harder? The fact that my mistake has torn us apart. It hurts to go to sleep alone every night, all the while wishing I could touch you or hold you. I need you, Buffy. I need your strength and love through all this. I can't go through it alone. Please don't leave me again."

He looked her dead in the eye. "Then stay. I can't get through this without you."

"I'll always be here for you. But I can't be if you insist on taking your baby away from its real mother."

"If you continue to fight for full custody, you can do it without me by your side. I won't stand by and let you do something like that because of me."

Angel paused before replying, collecting his thoughts. "If I drop the custody suit, will you stay with me?"

"I'm not doing this for myself," Buffy reiterated. "I'm doing this for yours and Megan's baby. You're too stubborn to marry her and I won't let that baby grow up never knowing its real mother. At least this way, both parents will be in his or her life."

He kissed her. "I'll call the lawyer first thing in the morning and drop the suit."

At three-thirty, the telephone rang. Buffy picked it up in the bedroom, where she was unpacking her things from the night before.

Inwardly, Buffy groaned. She resisted the urge to hand up the phone. "Hold on," she replied coldly. Covering the mouthpiece, she called for her boyfriend. "Angel, phone!"

"Hi," he said, unsure of what to expect. "What can I do for you? And how did you get this number? I never gave it to you."

"I called Geoffrey and he gave it to me. I'm calling because I want an explanation."

"The papers I got delivered to me yesterday. You're suing for full custody? Why the hell are you doing that?" Megan demanded. "Why are you trying to take my baby away from me?"

Angel figured she'd be upset when she received the papers. "Because if I don't, you'll run away and I'll never get to know my own child."

"This was Buffy's idea, wasn't it? She lost your child and now she wants to take mine? I'm sorry, but that will never happen."

"Buffy's not to blame for this. It was my decision. In fact, she's dead set against it. She told me to be with you, but I refused."

On the other end of the phone, Megan sighed loudly. "She's right, you should be with me. I'm the one pregnant with your baby, not Little Miss California Cheerleader. And you're not getting your hands on this child."

"No! We had something special, we made a baby for godsakes. But the only thing that's important to you anymore is your precious Buffy. Consider yourself the loser."

"What do you mean I'm the loser? If you run, don't for one second thing that I won't find you. Because I will."

"Oh, I don't doubt it. That's why I'm making it easy for you. You'll know exactly where I am and where to find me."

"You had your chance, Angel. You could have gotten to know your child, been a father to it. If you'd stayed with me, this wouldn't be happening. Now you'll never get to be a father to this child."

"I'm being perfectly rational. I'm sorry things had to be this way. I love you, I want to be with you. But I can't live without you. I can't and I won't. Goodbye, Angel. I'm sorry you'll never get to know your child; that we'll never get to know our child."

"Saying my final goodbye. I love you and I refuse to live without you. And I'm taking our child with me when I go."

Through the phone, on the other end of the line in Cleveland, a gunshot sounded. Angel's breath caught in his throat upon hearing the loud noise. The sound resonated through the telephone, leaving him paralyzed for a split second before reality set in. "Megan?" he said through the telephone.

But it was too late. She was already dead on the living room floor of her apartment.

Upon hearing Angel's cries, Buffy ran downstairs to the kitchen to where he'd picked up the phone. He stood in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room, holding the phone to his ear, calling Megan's name over and over again. His hands were trembling, so much so that he dropped the phone to the floor.

He panted for air, unable to catch his breath from the shock of Megan's suicide. "Megan?" he called again, his voice cracking with emotion.

Buffy bent down to pick up the telephone. Putting it to her ear, she heard nothing but silence. There was nobody on the other end, yet there was no dial tone. She turned the phone off and placed it back on the receiver to recharge.

"I know it was Megan. I answered the phone, remember? Did she say something to upset you? Did you two have an argument?"

"I never knew she had a gun; that she was capable of doing that," Angel said to himself, though ended up saying it aloud.

Angel shook his head in disbelief. "She said goodbye. Said I'd never see our child and she…she shot herself."

She stood before him in utter shock. It blew her mind that a beautiful, obviously optimistic woman such as Megan Rafferty could take her own life. And even beyond that, the life of her unborn child as well.

"No, you must have heard wrong," Buffy told him. "She did it to shake you up; she didn't kill herself. She couldn't have done that to herself and your child."

"She did it. I heard the gun go off and then nothing. She's dead. When she got the custody papers yesterday, she must have bought a gun. To get me back by making sure I'd never see my baby." Angel bit his lip, so hard that he drew blood. "It's all my fault."

"Yes, it is. If I hadn't gone to the lawyer and had him draw up the papers for custody, Megan would still be here. She wouldn't have had a reason to commit suicide. I'm a complete bastard for trying to take the baby away from her. You were right all along, Buffy. It was wrong."

"Don't blame yourself for this because Megan took the coward's way out. Instead of facing her fears, she ran away from them. And she took that poor, defenseless, innocent baby with her. No, what *she* did was wrong, not you."

Angel barely heard a word Buffy was saying. All he could think about was Megan and what she must have been feeling. "I can only imagine what she was going through. She must have been so hurt and betrayed. God, I feel so sorry for her."

She could only look at him for a few moments. "How can you feel sorry for her? She took her own life."

Widening her eyes, Buffy gaped at him. "I can't feel sympathy for her. What she did was selfish and childish. I realize that what I'm about to say might seem callous and unfair, but it's how I feel. Maybe she didn't deserve to be a mother if she couldn't handle the possibility of losing her child to you. Killing her child to keep you from having it was probably the stupidest thing she could have ever done.

"I don't feel sorry for Megan. Not if she was that weak and thought suicide was the solution to all her problems. Do you know who I feel sorry for? Her family, her friends, the people who went to her with their problems. Those people are the ones who have my sympathy, they're the ones who are most affected by this. And that little baby growing inside of her. You and that baby are the real victims in all this."

Angel dropped to the floor, his knees against his chest. "My child. I'm never going to know my child. Megan killed my child when she shot herself," he rambled.

Sitting down next to him, Buffy put her arms around him to offer comfort. "I know. Angel, I know what you're going through; you and I went through it already. And I'll be here to comfort you every step of the way. Cry on my shoulder like I cried on yours."

He put his head on her shoulder, letting the tears fall onto her blouse. "First Gregory, now this baby. Maybe this is God's way of telling me I'm not meant to be a father."

Buffy rubbed his neck. "Yes, you are, don't say that. When the time is right, you'll be a father. No, you'll be a great father."

Three days later, Geoffrey dropped off a package that had been delivered to his and Mrs. Summers' home. He hadn't stayed long, he was on his way to begin training with Kristen. With Angel still upset over Megan and the baby's death, they all agreed that Geoffrey would train the Slayer while Angel worked through the pain of his loss.

The package had been wrapped in brown paper, and addressed to ANGEL AND BUFFY REILLY. Buffy ran upstairs to the bedroom, where Angel sat, staring out the window into the woods behind their house.

"Geoffrey just dropped this off," she informed him, holding up the small, square package.

Buffy shrugged. "There's no return address, but the postmark says Cleveland. I think it's more for you than for me. Here, open it." She placed it on his lap.

Angel looked at the package, almost afraid to touch it. Slowly, cautiously, he began to rip the brown paper from the package. Inside lay a square book with the word DIARY written on it. Opening the inside cover, he found the name Megan Aileen Rafferty.

She took a seat next to him. "I wish I knew. But the postmark said it was sent on New Year's Eve. Megan must have sent it to you. She knew what she was planning on doing if she sent you her diary."

"That's probably why she sent it, so I think you should. It might give you some peace of mind."

We made love for the first time. Eight months we dated, and we just made love last night. Never in my life have I waited so long after meeting a man. But with Angel, it was different. He wanted to wait; didn't want to rush anything between us. Always a gentleman.

It was a beautiful experience. Here, in my bed, we finally gave in to those desires we were feeling. I'd never see perfection until I saw him. Angel is like my own personal Greek god – built like Hercules and as handsome as Apollo. With the mere size of him – his arms and chest alone are huge and to be admired by every man, woman and child – I thought for sure he'd hurt me, crush me or break all my bones. But he was the exact opposite. Never have I been with a more kind and caring lover. Where other men might have hurt me, Angel was tender. Where other men might have forced, he asked consent. It was wonderful.

He was always asking if I was okay or if he'd hurt me and if I wanted to stop. Not once did I want to. I could have gone on all night. Why he asked me those questions, I don't know. Was there a girl in his past that he'd hurt? That maybe he'd forced when he shouldn't have? Not with me, though. Angel was the definition of bliss. I never felt so whole as I did last night. It was sheer contentment, perfect happiness, whatever you want to call it. He and I just existed; we just were.

I found out today why I haven't been feeling well. The doctor said I'm pregnant. Just under four months along. It took me by surprise; I was on the pill, I have been since I was eighteen. And yet here I am, about to have a baby in May.

There's only one person who could be the father. Angel. He is the only man I've been intimate with in over a year. How is he going to take the news that I'm going to have his baby? He hasn't returned any of my messages that I left in the past week.

It can't be over between us; it just can't. Not when I'm having a baby. Sure, I said some things I didn't mean, but it was out of hurt and jealousy. I was jealous because he still has feelings for Buffy, his ex-girlfriend. How could he still love her when he loves me, when he makes love to me? I don't understand.

But he'll stay with me when I tell him about the baby. Angel's an old-fashioned kind of guy. He won't abandon me, not once he learns I'm going to have a baby. We will get married and raise a family and live happily ever after.

They said the baby won't survive, that I have to have an abortion or else I'll die, too. They're calling it a tubular pregnancy. Instead of the baby growing in the uterus, it's growing in the filopian tubes. My poor baby doesn't have room to grow and can't get the nourishment it needs. It is going to die. My little baby with Angel is going to die.

This child is my only connection to him. If and when the baby dies, he's out of my life forever. I can't live with that knowledge. I love him so much, my life has to be with him.

Angel can't leave me all alone in this life. Not when I love him so much, when I'm supposed to spend forever with him. It's not fair. Buffy already had her chance with him and she blew it years ago. And once she found out that he was happy with me, she wanted him back again. Now the only thing I have left of him is his child. And it isn't going to survive. Without this baby, I have nothing left. If this baby is going to die, then so am I. Only we'll go together. And he'll be there for all of it. Angel was there for it's conception, he'll be there for his child's death, too.

Angel read the final entry, written the day before she killed herself. Reading it did give him peace of mind, like Buffy said. Now he didn't feel completely guilty for causing her death. It had been planned when she found out that their baby wouldn't live to be born. Megan had committed suicide because of their child's impending death, not his battle for custody. Buffy was right, he wasn't to blame.

By the time mid-February rolled around, Angel began to feel like his old self again. He got up early every morning to go for a relaxing jog, then took a shower, made breakfast for himself and Buffy, and spent the rest of the day at home. Buffy was glad to have him back to normal and suggested that maybe he was ready to go back to work. After the suicide, he'd called Principal Snyder and said he would need a leave of absence until further notice, explaining the circumstances behind it.

So, on Valentine's Day, Angel began his first day as the American History teacher at Sunnydale High. He felt nervous about it – going back so soon. But with Buffy's encouragement, he got over his anxiety. What he needed was to keep himself occupied.

That day, Buffy stopped by the library to visit with Giles. She hadn't really found the opportunity to spend time with him, what with having to be there for Angel during his grieving period. But now that she had free time on her hands, she decided to stop by.

"Yeah, tell me about it. With Angel starting work today, I thought I'd come by and visit. It's been way too long."

Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "Okay, I guess. Definitely keeping myself occupied. How about you?"

"Having all that free time, I thought I'd enjoy it. Catching up on my reading and whatnot. It's rather boring, though. Eventually you run out of books and end up in front of the television watching those dreaded talk shows and soap operas."

"Actually, yes. Tell me, has Angel begun working with Kristen or is Geoffrey still training her?" Giles asked.

"Angel starts training today after school. He's going to be exhausted tonight, I know it."

She nodded. "He's holding up okay. I don't think he'll ever get past the pain of it, though. First thinking Megan killed herself and the baby because of the custody suit and then learning that the baby wasn't going to making it anyhow. It's been a lot for him to deal with."

"I imagine so. Are things between the two of you going well? You said things were fairly strained between you when you found out about Megan's pregnancy."

"Things are fine. We're still working through it all. For the past month and a half, I've tried to be a shoulder for him to cry on; you know, not trying to push him or anything like that. He needed me and I was there for him."

"I could sort of understand what he was going through. Angel needed a friend to talk to more than he needed a lover. So I was his rock during that time."

"You two have been through so much together. I knew you'd get through it." The bell rang, marking the end of that class period, and Giles stood up. "It's going to be chaos in here; free period."

Buffy raised her eyebrows in amusement. "The library must have gotten more popular since I was here."

She exited the library, weaving her way through the crowded hallway to the History wing. Easily finding Room 243, she stuck her head into the room, seeing Angel sitting at his desk.

Angel stood up, quickly moving to where she was standing in the hall. "Buffy. Why are you here?"

"Well, I came to visit Giles. You know, say hi and play catch up. While I was here, I thought it would be nice to stop by and see how your first day of classes is going."

"It's going great so far. The next class I have to teach in a few minutes is an advanced class."

"You're extremely bright, Buffy, don't belittle yourself like that. You have a degree in Psychology, that was not easy. When you were in high school, you had more important things to worry about than the Constitution," Angel reminded her.

"But see, I had to get a tutor because I was failing so miserably. He helped me pass and I ended up falling madly in love with him."

He bent down to kiss her, his hands finding her thin waist. His tongue danced with hers, and the students passing by stopped to watch the couple. They got a few cheers and cat calls, but never noticed them.

Angel looked up, seeing Principal Snyder standing right behind Buffy. "Principal Snyder, I didn't see you there."

"Public displays of affection are strictly prohibited, Mr. Reilly. This is a classroom, not an orgy," Principal Snyder reminded him.

Buffy turned around. "How nice to see you, Principal Snyder. It's been way too long."

The man scowled. "Summers. Unfortunately, it hasn't been long enough. Are you out of prison finally?"

"Such a funny little man you are. I never went to prison. But it was nice to see you again," she said sweetly. Giving Angel a quick kiss on the cheek, she wished him good luck and took off.

"Buffy told me your mom was a Slayer," Kristen said during her training that afternoon. "And that's why you decided to become a Watcher."

He blocked her punch easily, throwing one of his own. "Yeah. When I found out about demons and vampires, I thought that if she were still alive, she'd want me to help fight them. So I figured the best way to do so would be to join the Watcher's Council."

Angel took a deep breath. "When I was six years old, she was turned into a vampire. Although I didn't find out about it until 1999. Before that, I thought she had been killed by a demon."

He shook his head. "I had to kill her. She almost killed Buffy; my mother's the reason she and I lost our baby."

"Buffy told me about that, I'm so sorry. It must be hard for you to talk about it. Forget I brought it up. I was just being too nosy."

"No, it's okay. I've learned that it's better to talk about things than to let them stay bottled up inside," Angel told her.

"How long did you and Buffy wait before you two started sleeping together? As in sex, not just sharing a bed."

He was taken aback by the question. "Well, I wasn't expecting that, that's for sure. She and I waited two months from the time we met and a little over a month from when we began dating. But you have to realize that with me and Buffy, we knew right away that we wanted to be together. For me, one look at her and I was in love. And before that, I wasn't someone who slept around. She was the first woman I ever had sex with."

"Just out of curiosity. See, I met this guy a couple weeks ago and I really like him. He's older than me and I think he's already done stuff. I haven't."

"Well, I can't tell you what to do, this is your life and your decision. My advice would be to wait for someone special like I did. Don't just sleep with the first guy who looks twice at you. Kristen, you can't get your first time back, so make it special."

Buffy stepped out of the bathroom into the master bedroom, wearing a t-shirt and shorts for bed. Angel sat on the bed correcting the quizzes he'd given out in class that day.

"I loved my Valentine's Day present," she told him, sitting on the bed next to him.

"I certainly did. The bracelet and the gold charm were beautiful. You have great taste in jewelry."

"No, I don't. It's just that everything looks good on you. I had a hard time deciding," Angel admitted.

She gave him a kiss on the lips, fully expecting it to end quickly and for them to go to sleep. But much to her surprise, Angel deepened it, bringing forth the most passionate kiss they'd shared since New Year's Eve. Buffy pulled away, gasping for breath.

"Buffy, I'm more than ready to move on with my life. I feel like I've been at a standstill since December and I want to start moving again. These past few months haven't been easy on either of us. I want my life back. I think it's time we starting looking at the future. Our future."

When they kissed again, they didn't stop until they were sated. Buffy and Angel lost themselves in one another for the first time since New Year's Eve.

Buffy was waiting by the front door when Angel returned home from work the next afternoon. She had still been asleep when he left in the morning, tired from their first night of lovemaking in over a month and a half, so she hadn't yet seen him.

"Hey, you," she greeted with a smile, giving him a kiss as he walked into the house.

He returned the kiss with an equal amount of longing, almost wishing he could carry her up to the bedroom and spend the rest of the day in bed with her. "Hey, I like this. Getting a welcome home kiss the second I walk in the door."

Taking his hand in hers, Buffy led him to the couch, where they both sat down. "Do you have any plans for tonight?" she asked.

"Nothing written in stone, but I wanted to stay here with you, maybe go to bed early," he replied suggestively. "Why do you ask?"

"I was also twenty seven, twenty eight at the time. That was three years ago, Buffy. It might be a little odd for me to be going there now that I'm thirty one. Not to mention that a lot of my students hang out there. It might be a little uncomfortable."

Angel smiled mischievously, raising his eyebrows. "And what do I get in return?"

"Okay, Kristen called a little while ago and asked if we'd come. Apparently, she met this guy and she wants us to meet him."

He nodded. "She mentioned him during training yesterday. He's a bit older than her."

"There's nothing wrong with that. Look at us, you're nine and a half years older than I am. I don't see a problem with Krissy dating an older guy as long as he makes her happy."

"You're right. It must be getting serious between them if she's thinking about taking it to the next level. Yesterday, she was asking me about us. How long we waited, that kind of thing."

Buffy raised her eyebrows, just as Angel had a minute earlier. "Wow. She must be getting really serious about this guy. Come on, will you go?"

"Have I told you how great you look tonight?" Angel asked when they walked through the door of the Bronze at seven-thirty.

Buffy blushed. "A few times." She'd chosen a deep purple blouse that showed off her curves and a knee-length black skirt with black platform heels. She liked that Angel approved, but knew that as soon as they got home, the outfit would be discarded.

Buffy looked around. The club wasn't very crowded, considering that it was a Tuesday night. She found Kristen sitting at a table with a blond-haired man whose back was to them. "Yep. She's over to the left."

They made their way to the table, and Kristen jumped out of her seat upon seeing them. "You made it!"

"I'd like you to meet my boyfriend." The man stood up and turned around to face them. "This is Kevin Matthews."

Buffy's jaw nearly hit the floor while Angel stood staring, his brown eyes darkening so that they were almost black. Kevin put his arm around Kristen's shoulders. "We've already met, Kristen."

"I didn't know that. It's great that you guys already know each other," Kristen commented. "Do you and Angel know one another?"

Angel glared at Kevin. The things the younger man had said to him when Buffy was in the hospital three years earlier were still fresh in Angel's memory, never likely to be forgotten. "We've had the pleasure."

They did so, and Angel grasped Buffy's hand above the table. "What are you doing now, Kevin?" Buffy asked, trying to make polite conversation.

"Studying corporate law at UC Sunnydale. It's my final semester as an undergraduate," he answered. "What about you?"

They continued to chat for twenty minutes about what they'd been up to for the past three years and a half years. Buffy got up from her chair and asked if Kristen wouldn't mind joining her in the ladies' room.

The bathroom was empty, so Buffy began right away. "You know I used to go out with Kevin."

"Remember when I told you that I used to date this guy for a long time and he dumped me because I wouldn't have sex with him?"

Buffy put a hand on Kristen's upper arm. "He did it. When we were seniors, three weeks before the Prom, he booked us a room in L.A. for after the Prom so we could sleep together. To make a long story short, when I told him I wasn't ready and I didn't want my first time to be with him, Kevin dumped me. A few weeks later, I started seeing Angel."

"Kevin's not like that. Yes, he told me he had a serious girlfriend in high school that he really liked, but he never wanted to sleep with her."

"I don't expect you to believe me over your boyfriend. Ask Angel. He was there, he'll tell you everything you need to know about Kevin and what he did to me."

He and Angel sat alone at the table, waiting for their respective girlfriends to return. "So," Angel repeated.

Angel glared out of the corner of his eye. "I missed her. And I came back to be with her."

"Buffy must be better in bed than I thought if you came running back to be with her."

Under the table, he squeezed his hands into fists, barely restraining himself from punching Kevin. "Not that you'll ever find out."

Kevin smiled. "Tell me, Angel, are you planning to steal Kristen from me like you did Buffy? Because I'd like to know the game plan ahead of time. Gives me time to prepare my strategy."

"I never stole Buffy from you. You broke up with her, or have you conveniently forgotten?" shot Angel.

"You have a warped sense of reality. I was there, I know everything you did to her because I was the person she ran to for comfort the night you broke her heart. Did you know that she almost got herself killed that night and I had to save her? Face it, Kevin. Buffy never wanted to sleep with you, or even be with you. She was saving herself for me."

Kevin stifled a laugh. "And look how you treated her. Got her pregnant, almost got her killed and then left town to run away from your guilt. You're more pathetic and I'll ever be."

Before Angel had a chance for a rebuttal, the girls returned from the bathroom. Wanting to get away from Kevin, Angel took Buffy's hand and asked her to dance.

The two couples headed for the dance floor, slow dancing to the song the D.J. was playing. The flowers you gave me
are just about to die
When I think about what could've been
makes me want to cry.
The sweet words you whispered
didn't mean a thing
I guess our song is over
as we begin to sing.
Could've been so beautiful
Could've been so right
Could've been my lover
every day of my life
Could've been so beautiful
Could've been so right
I'll never harm would could've been
on a cold and lonely night.

Buffy looked up at her boyfriend, sensing that something was wrong. He'd been very quiet since they'd arrived, and especially since she and Kristen returned from the bathroom, and figured it had something to do with Kevin. "Is everything okay, Angel?"

"You're lying to me. It's Kevin, isn't it? He said something to you when Kristen and I were in the bathroom, didn't he?"

"He's just a jerk. I can't stand him; I hate the things he says about you – about us," Angel told her.

He sighed. "Nothing. He says stuff to get under my skin and it always seems to work. He knows just what buttons to push."

The memories of our loving
still linger in the air
Like the faded scent of your roses
stay with me everywhere.
Every time I get my hopes up
they always seem to fall
Still what could've been is better than
what can never be at all.
Could've been so beautiful
Could've been so right
Could've been my lover
every day of my life.
Could've been so beautiful
Could've been so right
You can't harm what could've been
on a cold and lonely night.

Kevin watched with disdain as Buffy and Angel swayed to the music, their bodies moving as one entity. It made him sick to see them so close, when it could be him with her instead.

'What is it that he has that I don't? What made her give up on us? Angel's just some guy who'll promise her the world but never give it to her. I'm the one she's supposed to be with, not some smooth-talking pretty boy. Buffy should have given herself to me; I'm the guy she was supposed to lose her virginity to, not Angel.'

Could've been so beautiful
Could've been so right
You can't harm what could've been
on a cold and lonely night.
How can you harm what could've been
on a cold and lonely night?

Kristen insisted on walking home rather than having Kevin drive her. It was still early and she hoped to do a quick sweep before going home and finishing up her homework, then retiring to bed. So instead of going home, Kevin decided to follow Buffy and Angel.

Seeing Buffy always brought back memories. Deep down in his heart, he still cared for her, but moreso, he desired her. He still wanted – even after four years – to be one with her; to have what he was denied the night of their Senior Prom. It pissed him off to no end that she chose Angel over him. And he hated the man for it.

Kevin followed them all the way home, careful to stay far enough behind them so as not to attract attention to himself. His eyebrows shot up when they pulled into the garage of a large, two-story home. 'They're living together. How cozy.'

The living room light turned on, and he got out of his car to make his way over, wanting to see what was going on in their home. He stood in front of the picture window, watching them through the one inch gap between the curtains. Kevin was unable to tear his eyes away as his ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend – the man forever known to him as his replacement – began to undress each other; and continued to stare inside as the two made love on the couch.

"Did you really go out with Buffy when you were in high school?" Kristen asked Kevin Thursday night on their date.

He glanced up at her from his coffee cup as they sat at the Expresso Pump. "Yeah, for a little over a year."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. There wasn't any reason to tell you, Krissy. I wasn't aware that you knew her."

"She's one of my best friends."

"Sorry for not telling you."

Kristen grimaced. "Is it true that you broke up with her because she didn't want to sleep with you after the Prom?"

"That was part of the reason. I was ready, she wasn't, or so she says. We'd been dating for over a year, we were eighteen and I thought it was the next logical step. But that was only part of the reason we broke up, although that's what Buffy always blames our breakup on."

"What was the other reason?"

"Her obsession with her History tutor. Angel. He was the only thing she ever seemed to talk about. Him and slaying. And as soon as they became connected, I was out of the picture faster than I could even blink."

"Connected?" Kristen repeated, confused by his choice of words.

"Finding out that he was a Watcher made her even more infatuated with him," Kevin explained. "I wanted all of her, not just the part that didn't want him, didn't desire him. When she couldn't do that, I ended it."

"Do you hate Angel for taking her away from you?"

Kevin flashed back to Tuesday night, seeing Buffy and Angel in the privacy of their own home. The erotic images of them were burned in his memory. He went home that night and dreamt of them, only instead of Angel she was making love to, it was him.

"When they first started dating, yes, I did hate him."

"And now?"

"I think I was more jealous than anything else. He got what I so desperately wanted. They seem like they have the perfect relationship these days."

Kristen coughed. "Hardly. Those two have had it really rough since Angel came back. It's almost as if there is a dark cloud hanging over them, threatening to pour at any given moment."

"What happened?"

"First Buffy thought he didn't love her anymore. Then she found out that she can have children, but Angel doesn't want them yet. And it just gets worse from there."

"How so?"

"Well, they went to Cleveland after Christmas and ran into Angel's ex-girlfriend. She told him she was pregnant with his child."

Kevin raised his eyebrows. "You're kidding."

She shook her head. "Total truth. Buffy was pretty upset. Okay, so 'upset' is the understatement of the year. Livid, pissed off, homicidal seem to come to mind. They made up, but on New Year's Day, Angel's ex, Megan, killed herself while she was on the phone with him."

"This Megan girl committed suicide because of him?" 'Talk about literally bringing a relationship to an end.'

"That's what Angel thought at first. It turns out that the baby wasn't going to make it and Megan couldn't handle that. It's only just recently that Angel's come to grips with it."

"I guess they haven't had it easy."

"No, but they're so much in love. Part of me is a little jealous of them. I mean, God, they literally waited for each other. How romantic," Kristen said.

Kevin gazed at her. "What do you mean by that?"

"They were each others' firsts. You know, when they slept together. I can't think of a man these days who'd be willing to wait, to save himself, until he met his true love. Buffy and Angel are like Romeo and Juliet only without the death at the end."

"How perfect."

"Why did he have to come?" Angel whined about Kevin to Buffy Friday night at their home. They had invited the whole gang over for a movie, and Kristen brought Kevin with her.

Buffy took the popcorn out of the microwave, then poured it into a large plastic bowl. "Because he's her boyfriend."

"I don't like the fact that he knows where we live," he said. "Who knows what he'll do with that info."

"You're overreacting. Kevin's harmless. Besides, Kristen likes him."

"That's not saying much for her taste in men."

She slapped him on the arm. "Hey, I dated him. I take offense to that."

"And look how he treated you," Angel told her. "The guy has the morals of a common criminal. He'll make a great lawyer, I'll attest to that. Crooked as the day is long."

"Maybe he's changed. Kristen's happy with him. I think he at least deserves the benefit of the doubt."

"I don't like him. He could find a cure for cancer and I'd still abhor him. And the looks he's always giving you? He's undressing you with his eyes, Buffy."

"Are you nervous that I'll end up falling for him again?" Buffy asked. "That I'm going to leave you for him?"

"No."

She smiled. "You are! That's so cute. You don't have a thing to worry about, Angel. You're the only one for me. Nothing's ever going to change that."

Halfway through the movie, Buffy stood up, grabbing the empty bowl. "Anyone want more popcorn?"

"Yeah!" they all replied.

"Sodas?"

"Sure," Xander, Willow and Cordelia answered.

Angel got up off the couch to help his girlfriend in the kitchen. "You're going to need four arms to carry all that stuff," he said to her.

"Such a gentleman."

He flashed her a half-smile. "It's often been said."

She leaned against the refrigerator, placing her arms around Angel's neck, bringing his lips to hers in a heated kiss. He wound one hand in her long blonde tresses, tangling the soft silk of her hair between his fingers. The other hand lifted the hem of her sweater, caressing the bare skin beneath. Gooseflesh formed at the touch of his fingertips.

"I didn't realize grope and fondle was part of the entertainment," a voice came from a few feet away. "Should I get the others?"

Buffy and Angel broke their embrace, looking at Kevin, who grinned devilishly on the other side of the island. "Why are you spying on us?" Angel demanded hotly. Buffy blushed in embarrassment at having been caught red-handed.

"I'm not, I just walked in here in time to catch the pre-show. Thought you'd have a quickie before you went back in the living room?" Kevin asked.

"What do you want, Kevin?" Buffy wanted to know.

"Where's the bathroom?"

"Upstairs, on the left. Third door," Angel answered shortly.

He smiled. "Thanks. I'll leave you two alone to your foreplay."

Angel growled as Kevin walked away. "I really can't stand him."

Kevin found the bathroom without difficulty, but passed it by, heading for the master bedroom instead. He stepped inside, looking around at the decor. Nothing stood out to him, but he couldn't help but look at a framed picture of Buffy and Angel, taken a week after he'd returned to Sunnydale. They were cheek to cheek, smiling at the camera and clutching hands. On the dresser was another picture, taken at Senior Prom almost four years ago.

He opened the closet, rummaging through Buffy's clothes. At the far end of the closet hung several revealing nightgowns. He pulled out a black negligee , holding it in front of him, trying to imagine his ex-girlfriend wearing it. 'How sexy Buffy must look in this. No wonder the Neanderthal can't keep his hands off of her.'

"What the hell are you doing in here?" Buffy asked, seeing Kevin holding her clothing.

"I got lost," he lied.

"And yet you managed to find my closet okay," she accused. "I repeat, what are you doing in here?"

He shrugged. "Looking around."

"Checking out what I wear to bed at night?"

"You could say that." His gaze full upon an empty box of condoms in the garbage near the closet. "You two have certainly been keeping yourselves occupied at night. Must not get a lot of sleep."

Buffy narrowed her eyes. "Excuse me?"

"After getting his ex-girlfriend pregnant, I'm surprised you give him access at all."

"Where'd you hear that from?" she wanted to know.

"Kristen told me all about your little problems. Angel not wanting to have kids with you but getting his ex pregnant anyway. He's a regular baby making machine, isn't he?" Kevin commented.

Buffy fumed. "You don't know anything about us."

"I know that it's 'wham, bam thank you ma'am' when you two have sex. Apparently, the bigger the man, the less the stamina. Over in a blink of the eye."

"Like you even know what my sex life is like. You never got a chance to do it with me. And you never will."

"Oh please," he scoffed. "That man couldn't even make it pleasurable for you on Tuesday. I know when a woman is faking it, and you did a pretty good job. Very believable. Should have gotten an Oscar for that performance."

She slapped him across the cheek. "You bastard. You've been spying on us, haven't you?"

"I caught your quick little performance on Tuesday night. And I do mean quick. It's amazing that he gets any use whatsoever out of those condoms in the garbage," he said, rubbing his aching cheek.

"Get out of my house," Buffy ordered.

"Overly-sensitive about your boyfriend's sexual performance? Try a real man, not just a grown-up Ken doll."

Buffy said nothing, opting to follow him downstairs, watching to make sure he left. She caught Angel's eye, silently telling him that Kevin was leaving. He stood to make his way over.

"Come on, Kristen," Kevin said. "Let's go."

"Why?"

"Just come on. We're leaving."

She joined him at the front door. "What's going on, Kevin?"

"Buffy wants us to leave."

Kristen turned to face her friend. "Is that true?"

"I asked Kevin to leave. You can stay, Kristen."

"If Kevin's going, then so am I. When you kick him out, you're kicking me out as well. I'm sorry, Buffy."

They walked out the door. When they reached his car, Kristen asked him what they were going to do for the rest of the night.

"I have a good idea of how we can pass the time," he answered. "You game?"

"Sure."

The gang watched with curious eyes as Kevin and Kristen left the house. Nobody except Buffy knew the real reason for his exit. She had tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but her faith in him was completely destroyed. Kevin proved to be even sicker than she thought.

Angel put his arm around her. "You okay? Want me to tell everyone to leave?"

She shook her head. "I'm fine. I'll explain everything in detail to you later."

"What happened with Kevin?" Xander asked.

"I caught him snooping around in our bedroom," Buffy explained, purposely leaving out her discussion with her ex-boyfriend.

"Did he find anything interesting?"

Cordelia punched him in the stomach. "That was totally uncalled for. Get your mind out of the gutter, Xander."

"Sorry. I just wanted to know."

"Actually," Buffy started, "he was going through my closet. Let's just say he was checking out my choice of nighttime apparel."

Angel's eyes glazed over with anger. What gave Kevin Matthews the right to go through Buffy's personal things? It was an intimate invasion of privacy. Just imagining it made the Watcher sick to his stomach.

"Ew!" Cordelia commented. "Sick pervert."

"He used to be so normal. What happened to him?" Willow wanted to know.

Buffy shrugged. "I have no idea. Maybe he's still bitter about our breakup. Even if it was four years ago."

"What does he have to be bitter about?" Cordelia questioned. "He broke up with you, not the other way around."

"I don't know."

"I do," Angel announced.

"What?"

"It's me. He's bitter because I have what he doesn't. Rather than pine over him, Buffy moved on. With me."

Willow nodded her head in agreement. "That could very well be true. Buffy, remember when we went Prom dress shopping and we ran into him?"

"Yeah. He teased me about not having a date."

"And you never showed him how upset you were or how his words hurt you. Maybe to him, it seemed like you never really cared about him. And it still drives him mad that you chose Angel over him."

"I chose to sleep with Angel instead of him, and Kevin resents that."

Angel shuddered. "I don't even want to think about what he's going to do next. With him being so close to us, who knows what he'll do; what he's capable of doing."

"Krissy," Buffy said. "What if he hurts her because of his jealousy?"

"He wouldn't dare do that."

Oz stood up. "Maybe we should go; leave you two alone."

"Good idea," Willow agreed.

"Hey!" Xander protested. "The movie's not over yet."

Cordelia grabbed his hand. "We'll rent it tomorrow night. Don't be such a jerk. Let's go and leave Buffy and Angel to themselves."

"I want to find out who the killer is."

She sighed. "The butler did it, okay?"

Xander scrunched his nose. "There's no butler in this movie. Nice try."

"Xander," she hissed warningly.

"Fine."

The two couples left, leaving Buffy and Angel alone at the bottom of the stairs.

"This whole thing is scary. It's like having a stalker or something," Buffy said.

"It'll be okay. I'm right here; Kevin won't hurt you or anyone else. I'll see to it. And if he does, I'll personally kill him myself."

"I don't know…"

"I have an idea. Why don't you take a hot bath and relax. It'll soothe you and make you less tense," Angel suggested. "I'll clean up down here and then we'll talk."

Buffy frowned. "I'd feel so bad for making you clean up this entire mess by yourself."

"Don't worry about it. Go. Relax."

"Kevin, your apartment is so nice," Kristen complimented when the two of them entered his home after being kicked out of Buffy's.

"Thank you."

"Can I ask you a question?"

He nodded. "What's up?"

"Why did Buffy ask you to leave? Did you two have some kind of an argument or something?"

"I got lost upstairs and she thought I was snooping around. Buffy jumped to the wrong conclusion. Not that I really care all that much. Actually, it all worked out for the best. Now it gives you and me some time alone."

Kevin leaned down to kiss Kristen, his arms winding around her waist. As their embrace deepened, his untucked her blouse from her jeans, letting his hand travel up and down her back, fiddling with the clasp of her bra.

Kristen pulled away, out of breath. "Maybe we should stop."

"Why? Don't you want me? Don't you want to be with me?"

"I do, but I'm afraid."

Kevin pulled her back in his arms. "You don't have to be scared, Krissy. You have to open yourself up to new possibilities. Don't think so much and let things happen. If you keep thinking and overanalyzing, you might miss out on something wonderful. Do you understand?"

She nodded. "I guess."

"Good." He smiled. "Now where were we?"

"Do you feel better now?" Angel asked when Buffy stepped out of the bathroom forty-five minutes later.

"Kinda. At least I don't feel so icky anymore."

She walked over to the closet, pulling out the black negligee Kevin had been looking at earlier that evening. Taking it off the padded hanger, Buffy threw the garment in the garbage as Angel watched curiously.

"I never want to wear that thing again," Buffy declared. "Not after Kevin put his filthy hands all over it."

"You're not upset because he was going through your clothes. There's more to it than that, isn't there?" Angel concluded.

Buffy sat down on the bed next to him, Indian-style. "I couldn't say everything in front of the gang. Most of what Kevin said to me was really personal."

"About us, I take it."

"Uh-huh. Kristen told him everything that's happened between us. Personal stuff like about Megan getting pregnant and her suicide."

"And he bought it up?"

She nodded. "Of course. But it only gets worse from there, Angel. Far worse."

"Tell me."

"He saw us on Tuesday night."

"I know. At the Bronze, I remember. We went there to meet him and Kristen. That's not a surprise to me."

"That's not what I meant. Kevin was spying on us. He followed us home and watched us have sex." She broke down and cried, her emotions taking their toll. "God, I feel so violated. Knowing that he saw us like that, in such an intimate position, makes me feel unsafe in my own home, which makes it so much worse."

Angel embraced her. "He's sick; he needs help."

"He made nasty comments, too."

"What comments?" He was furious that Kevin had spied on them in an intimate moment. A person's home was supposed to be private and sacred, not open for all to view. And for Kevin to make remarks about it pissed him off to no end.

"He was wrong, though. None of what he said was true, Angel. You have to believe me when I say that."

Angel stroked her tear-stained cheeks. "Just tell me what he said."

Buffy bit her lip, contemplating where to begin. She knew it was going to hurt him, so she had to choose her words carefully. "Well, he watched us make love Tuesday. Not only watched us, but heard us as well. And Kevin said that…that I should be with a real man who can show me pleasure while having sex, because you don't.

"Then he made the comment that I was only pretending to enjoy it; that I made it sound like it was real when it wasn't. In short, Kevin said I faked my orgasm. And then, as if that weren't bad enough, he said you didn't last long; that it was over before it ever began."

Angel sat and listened, unable to suppress the hurt he was feeling after being judged so harshly. "Oh," he said in reply. "Was he right?"

Buffy looked at him in disbelief. "Of course not. I've never had to fake anything when we're together. Nobody's made me happier than you."

"Sure."

"Hey! He doesn't know what being with you means to me. I love you, and I love that you love me back. Everything Kevin said was totally wrong and off-base."

He nodded. "Okay."

"You don't believe me. He was trying to get between us. Just ignore him, like I told you to do before."

"I'm trying, I really am. But when he says stuff like that, I can't help but wonder if maybe it's true and you're too nice to say anything and tell me the truth."

"I thought the same thing when I thought you had slept with Nicole. She said that you thought I was bad in bed, but you told me I wasn't. Now I'm telling you the same thing. And you don't believe me."

"I don't know what to believe."

"How about a demonstration of how wrong he is?" Buffy offered.

Buffy curled up in his arms after he rolled onto his side of the bed. She ran her fingers along his chest, still slick with sweat. "Well? Do you believe me now?"

"I guess so."

"You guess so? I thought it was great. Don't you see? Nobody can ever make me feel that way except you. I'm the happiest I've ever been and it's all because of you."

Angel held her tighter. "I never thought I'd ever make someone happy, much less you."

"Did you think I was faking it a little while ago?" Buffy asked. "Because believe me, I was truly happy."

"If you were faking it, you're a damn good actress. I love you, Buffy Summers."

She grinned. "I love you."

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"So do I."

Buffy fell asleep with her head resting in the crook of his neck, smelling the scent of his aftershave lotion. 'Ask me to marry you again, Angel. Don't make me wait too long this time. And I promise not to screw it up this time around.'

"Joyce, the pot roast was wonderful. One of the best meals I've had in a long time," Angel complimented after dinner on Saturday night.

She smiled at her stepson's compliments about her cooking. "Thank you very much. It's obvious you don't get out much, then."

"Actually, I don't."

Buffy swatted him. "Hey! I've been doing the cooking lately! Are you implying that I'm not a good cook?"

"Not at all. You're a great cook."

"Yeah, if you've been living off macaroni and cheese your whole life," Buffy retorted. "Admit it, you think I'm a horrible cook. Not nearly as good as you are."

Angel sighed. "I didn't say that, Buffy."

Geoffrey stood up. "Okay, let's stop this before it escalates into a full-blown argument. I swear, sometimes you two fight like brother and sister. Or a little old married couple. I can't tell which sometimes."

"Well, we are brother and sister since you guys got married," Buffy pointed out. 'And if things work out as I hope they will, forty or fifty years from now Angel and I will be an old married couple.' "Why don't you two boys go out in the living room and talk about manly things. Mom and I will clean up the kitchen."

The men glanced at each other, then practically bolted from the table. Buffy and her mother couldn't help but laugh at their significant others' departure.

"Apparently you made them an offer they couldn't refuse," commented Mrs. Summers.

Buffy laughed. "I guess so."

They carried the dishes over to the sink, where Mrs. Summers washed and Buffy dried. "It looks like things are back to normal between you and Angel."

"Depends on how you define normal."

Mrs. Summers handed her daughter a plate. "What do you mean by that?"

Buffy shrugged. "It's like nothing seems to go right for me and Angel. Something's always getting in our way; trying to destroy us. It's a little disquieting."

"How so? What's wrong this time?"

"We just got our lives back on track since the Megan incident back in January. Things are starting to get back to the way they were. Well, Tuesday night, he and I went to the Bronze to meet Kristen's new boyfriend. Mom, she's going out with Kevin. My ex-boyfriend Kevin," Buffy informed her.

"Oh my god. How did you take it?"

"Well, I warned her about him; why we broke up and that sort of stuff. But he's still jealous; jealous of me and Angel. He even followed us home from the Bronze and spied on us. And we were…well, you can probably guess what Angel and I were doing."

Mrs. Summers lifted her hand. "I get the point. Kevin made some sort of comment, I'm assuming."

"Big time. I won't go into all the gross details, but let's just say that Kevin said some stuff about Angel that I didn't like. And when I told him what Kevin said, Angel was really hurt by it. He's so insecure as it is, he doesn't need Kevin making him feel even worse about himself or even make Angel believe his lies. Not to mention, everything was totally wrong. It took some convincing, but Angel's okay now."

"That's good."

"I'm so sick of this. Of people trying to hurt us, break us up, make us doubt each other. Why can't we just have a normal life? We've had enough grief to last us a lifetime. Is it ever going to stop?"

Kristen sat on Buffy and Angel's front porch, waiting for them to return from wherever they had gone. She was trying so hard to remain strong, but it proved harder and harder to do with each passing minute.

'I've been so stupid. What on earth was I thinking? Angel was right, I should have waited until I found that special someone. He wouldn't have done this to me, and I wouldn't feel so hurt and betrayed. And used. It hurts so bad, like my heart is breaking in two.'

Kristen looked up at Kevin, who'd climbed out of bed. She clutched the blanket to her chest, watching as he dressed himself.

"Are you going to get dressed?" Kevin asked.

"What? Why?"

"I'm taking you home now."

She was confused. "You're taking me home? Did I do something wrong?"

"Something wrong?" he laughed. "No, of course not. It was fun. Didn't you have fun?"

Tears burned her eyes. "I – you had fun? Is that all it was to you?"

"What else was it supposed to be?"

"It was supposed to be special. Perfect. It was my first time and you're saying that it was just fun?"

"It was."

"This is serious. How can you say it was just fun?" Kristen questioned, holding back the tears. She wanted to stay strong in front of him.

Kevin sighed. "Some relationships center on a deep emotional tie or…a loyal friendship or something. But *most* are just two people passing through life, enriching or aggravating each other's lives briefly…just for one night. Can't two people who feel an attraction come together and create something wonderful? And then, go back to their lives the next day, better for it, but never overanalyzing it or wanting it to be more than it was?"

"So that's all it was to you? A one-night stand?"

"I'm sorry if you wanted something more."

Kristen couldn't believe him. "But we made love!"

"We had sex. If you thought we were making love, then maybe you're not as mature as I thought you were."

She was so lost in her thoughts that she never heard Angel's truck pull up the driveway. Buffy jumped out of the vehicle when she saw her friend sitting on the front porch, crying.

"Krissy? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" she asked.

Kristen sniffled. "I'm such an idiot. You warned me but I didn't listen."

"Come on in and we'll talk about it."

Buffy unlocked the door and let Kristen inside the house. Placing her keys on the table, she motioned for her friend to have a seat on the couch. "Tell me what's wrong."

"God, where do I start?"

"At the beginning. That always seems to work."

Kristen collected herself for a moment. "He was only using me. I thought he really, truly cared about me, but he didn't. I meant nothing to him."

"Him. You mean Kevin?"

She solemnly nodded. "Yeah. We went back to his apartment last night and…and…and we slept together. He said everything would be okay, that I shouldn't worry. When – when it was over, Kevin told me how much fun he had and that it was a one-time deal. Not meant to be taken as anything more than what it was."

"Oh, Kris, I'm so sorry." Buffy reached over to hug her. "You didn't deserve to be treated like that. Nobody does."

"I'm scared. What if something happens?"

"Did he use protection?"

Through her tears, Kristen managed a small nod. "Uh-huh. He could have given me something else. Like HIV or some other disease. I could have gotten pregnant!"

"It's too soon to tell. Trust me, I know exactly what you're going through. I went through the same things you are now when I first slept with Angel. What if I caught something? What if I get sick?"

Kristen gazed at her. "You didn't have anything to worry about, though. Angel told me you were the first girl he'd ever been with. He couldn't have gotten anything or given it to you."

Buffy gave her a small smile. "I know that now. But when I was eighteen, I thought, 'Here's this intelligent, educated older man who loves me and wants to make love to me. He's twenty seven and so handsome; what does he see in me? He has probably been with so many other women, how can I compare?' And I continued to think that until a few hours after we finally did it. Angel admitted to me that I had been his first lover; that he had waited for me.

"Just because he was a virgin, too, didn't stop the worry. It was such an impulsive decision on our parts that we never used any protection. The thought never crossed our minds. He and I walked around on eggshells for weeks afterward, worrying that maybe I had gotten pregnant. I wasn't, of course, but now do you see? Even though I couldn't have gotten an STD, I still could have gotten pregnant."

Kristen nodded her head. "I see. You're lucky. You've been with one man your entire life – the one you love. I was just used for some guy's pleasure."

"You think Angel's the only man I've ever slept with?"

"Isn't he?"

Buffy shook her head. "He and I broke up in January of 2000. After about two months, I figured I had no chance of ever being with him, so I started dating someone else. Riley, my T.A. in Psychology. And I had sex with him. Only once, not that it makes it any better. Nobody knows about it, except myself, Angel and Riley. It's not something I'm proud of, but I was young. We all make mistakes when we're young, especially when it comes to love and sex."

"I thought Kevin was the one," Kristen sobbed. "I thought he loved me. But the only reason he brought me to his apartment last night was to sleep with me. Did I lead him on?"

"I can't answer that question. But even if you had, it doesn't give him the right to pressure you into something you're not ready for."

She wiped away her tears. "This is going to sound really stupid, but did anything like this ever happen to you? Where you felt pressured? You know so much more about this kind of stuff than I do. Had more experience."

"I'm no expert, but I did have a similar experience. Not the exact same one, but close enough. When I graduated from high school, Angel took me to San Francisco for the weekend. We hadn't slept together yet, and he booked a room with two beds to make it more comfortable and less awkward, if you will. The second night of our trip, I wanted to thank him for showing me such a good time. So I went over to his bed, got under the covers and started kissing him. He was sleeping, and naturally, he woke up and kissed me back. It started getting really passionate and I got scared. I wanted to stop, and I knew that Angel wanted to continue. I wasn't ready to have sex yet, so I said no. Angel was a complete gentleman about it, saying that he didn't want to rush me. He backed off, and a couple weeks later, when I was ready, we made love. But not once did he try to pressure me into doing something I wasn't ready for."

"Was it everything you hoped it would be?" the young Slayer wanted to know. "Your first time, I mean."

"You mean was it like they way they make it in the movies?" Buffy shook her head before Kristen had a chance to respond to the question. "No. It wasn't moonlight and roses and candles; there wasn't time for all that. When I told Angel I was ready, we went to his old apartment and that's where it happened. But because I was with Angel, I had everything I wanted. It was so magical; I felt like I was on top of the world. To me, it was perfect."

Kristen let her tears escape, unable to hold back any longer. "Why couldn't it have been like that for me? It hurt, worse than any battle I'd ever been in. All I wanted was for Kevin to hold me afterward and say how much it meant to him. Do you know what he did? He got out of bed and started getting dressed. And when he told me it had only been fun, I knew I didn't mean anything to him." She took an unsteady breath. "Does it mean I wasn't any good?"

"Don't think that. What he did doesn't reflect on you at all. Kevin obviously doesn't know a good thing when he sees it. Don't take what he said as a reflection on you. Krissy, you are a wonderful person."

"Do you think I'll ever find someone who loves me?"

Buffy embraced her again. "I know you will. Look at me. I found Angel because I was failing History. He's out there, you just have to be patient."

"You think I'm a horrible person, don't you?" Kristen asked Angel as he drove her home a little while later.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because I did exactly what you told me not to do. You told me to wait for someone special and I ended up sleeping with Kevin. He used me. I'm a slut now."

He pressed his foot on the brake, preparing to stop at the STOP sign at the end of his street. "You made an error in judgement. That doesn't qualify you for slut-hood."

"I just wanted my first time to be as perfect as yours was. Buffy explained to me what it was like the first time the two of you made love. She said it was magical; perfect."

Angel frowned. "It was hardly perfect. I'm glad it was perfect for her, I wanted it to be. But for me, it wasn't."

"How can you say that? Buffy would be so upset if she found out you said that."

"It doesn't have anything to do with her. It was my first time and I honestly had no idea what I was doing. I was afraid of hurting Buffy or that she'd regret what we did. I had so much self-doubt that until we did it again, I couldn't find any perfection in it. At least to me, the whole experience was flawed. I felt clumsy and unworthy of what she was giving me."

"Buffy doesn't think so."

"I wish I had her confidence. It was special because I shared it with the woman I love. What Kevin did to you was wrong. And believe me, when I find him, I am going to rip him in half."

Kristen shook her head. "Don't bother. I want to forget this whole thing ever happened. Buffy made me see that it wasn't my fault. I made a mistake and I have to live with it."

Angel turned his eyes from the road to glance at her. "Don't judge all men by your experience with Kevin. We're not all like him."

"I know." Kristen looked out the windshield, seeing something dart across the street. "Angel, look out!"

Buffy had just settled into bed when the telephone rang. Groaning with annoyance, she reached over to pick up the cordless on the nightstand.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Buffy, it's Kristen," the voice on the other end of the line said hurriedly.

"What is it? It's eleven-thirty, is everything okay? Is Angel still there or is he on his way home already?"

Kristen took a deep breath. "That's why I am calling. This is the first chance I've had to get to a phone in an hour and a half. Angel and I were in a car accident on the way to my house. We're at Sunnydale Memorial right now."

"What happened? Is Angel okay? Are you okay?" Buffy began to breathe quickly. She was so worried that something bad had happened to the man she loved and one of her closest friends and confidante.

"I'm fine. They won't tell me how he is, I'm not family. Just get here, Buffy. As fast as you can. Please."

"I'll be right there."

Buffy hung up the phone and jumped out of bed. Swiftly changing into a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, she ran downstairs to find her car keys. They were still sitting on the table from when she'd been comforting Kristen only hours before. She wasted no time in grabbing her keys and running out the door to her car.

Different scenarios ran through her mind during the six mile drive to the hospital. Angel had always been a careful driver, what caused him to get into an accident? Had there been another car involved? Was everybody involved in the accident all right? Most importantly, was Angel all right?

'What if he's hooked up to all kinds of machines? Could I really stand to see him like that? I know he was there for me when I was in the hospital, but I'm not as strong as him. I just want him to be okay. Please, God, let him be okay. Let him survive this. I can't live without him and I don't want to live the rest of my life without him.'

Kristen was standing outside the emergency room entrance, clutching her arms to her chest. She had a bandage on her forehead and a few black and blue marks on her cheeks. Buffy ran over to her.

"Krissy, tell me what happened."

The young girl kept shaking her head over and over again. "They won't tell me anything. I don't know how bad it is for Angel. If anything happens to him, I'll never be able to forgive myself. I'll be a murderer on top of everything else."

"It's not your fault, I'm sure of it. How did you end up here? You said there was a car accident. What happened?"

"We were talking and something ran across the street. It might have been a cat or a dog or something else. I don't remember exactly. Angel swerved to avoid hitting it and he ended up running into a tree. I don't remember anything after that. Next thing I knew, I was in an ambulance being brought here. They won't tell me how he is, Buffy," Kristen explained. "It might be really bad."

She put her arms around her in comfort. "As long as you're okay, I don't care how it happened. And Angel's a trouper. He can get through anything," she said, trying to make Kristen feel better about the whole situation. "Have you called your parents? Are they on their way to pick you up?"

"No. I don't want to go home until I find out how Angel is. Don't make me leave."

"I won't. I'm going to find out what's going on; see how he's doing. Come in the waiting room with me, it's getting cold outside. I don't want you to catch pneumonia."

The two walked into the waiting room, Kristen choosing to sit down while Buffy went to the Nurse's Station to check on her boyfriend's condition.

The nurse glanced up from her paperwork when Buffy approached. "Can I help you?" she asked.

"I want to find out the condition of a patient who was recently admitted. Angel Reilly. He was in a car accident a little while ago," Buffy told her.

"Are you family?"

Buffy shook her head. "No, I'm his girlfriend. Please, tell me how he is. Will he be okay?"

"I'm afraid you'll have to wait until the doctor finishes examining him. If you give me your name, I'll have him come out and talk to you when he's finished," the nurse said to her.

"My name is Buffy Summers. Thank you so much, and let me know as soon as you find out anything."

Buffy took a seat next to Kristen. The Slayer sat with her head in her hands, mumbling that everything was her fault.

"Stop saying that, Kristen. It's not your fault. Chances are, Angel lost control of the car and crashed it. Don't blame yourself for it. It was an accident. These things happen all the time."

"It is my fault. Everything I touch gets hurt and worse. I'm bad luck. I should be shot or killed. I'm dangerous to be around."

"Hey!" Buffy chastised. "Stop it!"

"But it's true. I'm bad. Nobody wants to be around me. Not Kevin, not Giles, not your friends, and now I probably got Angel hurt really bad. Which means you won't want to be around me either."

"Angel will be all right, I'm positive. He's a fighter. My friends and Giles love you, don't think anything different. And as far as Kevin is concerned, he's sick, twisted and perverted. He's not worth getting upset over. I know from experience."

She scrunched up her face, turning it red in the process. "None of this would have happened if I hadn't had sex with him. My mistake may have killed Angel. All because I'm stupid and let Kevin convince me to lose my inhibitions and be impulsive."

"If Kevin hadn't been snooping around in my closet and looking at my lingerie, I wouldn't have had to kick him out of my house. And then you wouldn't have slept with him. So if you think about it, all this is his fault, not yours."

Kristen gazed at Buffy in shock. "He really was going through your things?"

"Yes. He pulled out a nightgown of mine and was looking at it. Trying to picture me in it probably. Krissy, he's sick. He admitted that he followed me and Angel home from the Bronze on Tuesday night and spied on us through the picture window. As you can probably imagine, I was really pissed off because he saw an intimate moment between Angel and I."

"You were having sex, weren't you?" Kristen guessed logically.

Buffy nodded. "Yes, as usual, we were. And Kevin watched us. And he made several comments about our performance. Angel's in particular."

"Like he's one to talk," she commented with a rueful smile.

"See? That's the kind of attitude you need."

"He's still in love with you. He spied on you and snooped around in your stuff and I still slept with him. Angel's in here because I'm a naïve little fool."

Buffy frowned. "How many times do I have to tell you? It wasn't your fault. You're not to blame. You're not bad luck and nobody here hates you. We love you and we love having you around. I consider you to be one of my best friends."

The waiting room door opened and the doctor, a middle-aged man with gray hair, walked into the room. "Buffy Summers?"

She stood up. "That's me. How's Angel?"

The doctor smiled. "He's a very lucky young man. A broken wrist, a broken arm and several bruises. He has a concussion, but otherwise, he's fine. I'd like to keep him here overnight for observation because of the head injury. I don't suspect there's any major damage and he should be healed completely in two months."

"Oh, god, thank you. Can I see him?"

"Sure. I'll ask you not to stay very long. Angel needs his rest," the doctor informed her.

"Thanks." Buffy turned around, giving Kristen the thumbs up sign to let her know how everything was. The seventeen year old sighed with relief.

She entered Angel's hospital room, finding him laying on the bed watching T.V. His right wrist was in a cast and his left arm in a sling. "Hey, crash. Heard you've been dodging animals while driving. New hobby you forgot to tell me about?" she joked.

"Very funny. I never saw the damn thing, it jumped right out in front of the truck. When I tried to avoid hitting it, I hit a tree instead," Angel explained.

"Because it's so much safer to hit a tree instead of an animal," Buffy said sarcastically. "You're real smart. You do realize this puts a crimp in my plans for us tonight. Now you have to stay here overnight and I have to sleep all alone in that big bed of ours. See, I don't think I did enough convincing last night and thought I'd try again."

Angel pouted. "Damn animal. I don't think these casts are coming off much before April. Think you can hold off until then?"

"I guess so. I'm just happy that you two are okay. You gave me a major scare tonight."

"I'm sorry."

"Just don't do it again."

"Promise."

She looked at her watch. "My time is up, I promised not to stay very long. I'll be back at ten tomorrow morning to check you out of here."

"Don't I get a good night's kiss first before you go?" he asked.

"I guess so. Since we can't do what I originally had planned, we'll just have to settle for this." Buffy bent down, capturing his lips in a tender kiss, careful not to put too much pressure on him.

Buffy pulled into the garage after picking Angel up from the hospital the next day. He sat in the passenger seat, sulking as she opened the door for him.

"I feel so useless," Angel commented. "I hate having you do everything for me. It makes me feel like a little kid again."

"Angel, I don't mind doing it. Besides, you're hurt and you can't open the door by yourself. You did the exact same thing for me when I got out of the hospital, so it's my turn to baby you. Get over it."

Angel frowned. "At least you could use your hands. I can't even move my fingers. I'm sorry, but this sucks."

"What do you expect? You have a broken wrist and a broken arm. Obviously, there are going to be things you won't be able to do for a while," she reasoned.

"Some things?" he questioned sarcastically. "Try a lot of things. Hell, most things. I don't even want to think about some of the stuff you'll have to do for me."

"Do you hear me complaining about it? No. And do you know why? Because I love you and I want you to get better. If I have to feed you and help dress you, then so be it."

He shook his head. "It's not right."

"Get over it. I don't want to see you brooding for the next six to eight weeks. We've been through worse than this. Deal."

Angel groaned, but relented anyway. He saw no reason to argue with her when she would obviously win. When they stepped into the house, their friends and family walked into the kitchen to greet them, carrying a banner that read WELCOME HOME, ANGEL.

"What's going on?" he asked suspiciously. A party was the last thing he wanted. He much rather preferred spending a quiet day at home with Buffy. Alone, not with their friends.

"Everyone wanted to be here to welcome you home. They were all concerned, so I said it was fine with me," Buffy explained. "Don't worry, they're not going to be staying very long. I told them you needed your rest."

"I didn't want a party, Buffy."

"Okay, then don't think of it as a party. Consider it a celebration of your health. Angel, I couldn't say no to them; they were so concerned about you. They really wanted to do this."

Sighing, he shook his head. "Fine. Everyone leaves by two o'clock. I just want to spend some time with you."

Buffy nodded. "Okay."

They made their way inside, seeing that their family and friends decorated the kitchen and living room with streamers and balloons. Potato chips, pretzels, dip and soda were set up on the kitchen table, and desserts and such were on the counter.

"Guys, you didn't have to go to all this trouble," Angel said.

"Actually, Kristen did it all," Willow admitted, motioning to the young Slayer on her left.

She blushed. "I just wanted to do something nice for you two, considering what you've done for me lately. And since I'm pretty much flat broke, I thought decorations would be the least I could do."

"That was very nice of you, Kristen. You really didn't have to. I just broke a couple bones. No big deal."

"I wanted to. Buffy said no, but she couldn't stop me. So just sit back and enjoy it."

So he did. As much as Angel hated admitting it, he was glad everyone showed up. Having them all at the house showed him how much they cared about him. Every once in a while, Angel needed a reminder that he had true friends in these people.

Cordelia and Willow pulled Buffy into the study. "Are you two getting along?" the tall brunette asked.

Buffy looked at her curiously. "Of course we are. What would make you think we weren't?"

She shrugged. "You guys have been awfully quiet lately. We thought you and Angel might have gotten into a fight or something."

"Speak for yourself," Willow put in. "I never thought that."

"I know what you guys were thinking, and I did not give Angel those broken bones. He and Krissy were in a car accident."

"Oh, I totally believe you," Cordelia said. "Not a single doubt in my mind. Not at all."

Buffy laughed. "Yeah, right, Cordy. You thought I beat him up. Just admit it."

"Maybe. You are still super human and all that. It's very possible. One can never rule it out."

"What would make you think I broke his arm and his wrist? That we got into some knockdown, drag out fight and I kicked his ass? I would never use my Slayer strength against Angel, no matter how mad at him I was. And believe me, I've had plenty of opportunities."

Willow bit her lip, preparing to answer. "Just tell her, Cordelia. Give Buffy the real reason you thought she did it."

Cordelia let out a deep sigh. "Okay. I thought it was all because Angel hasn't asked you to marry him yet."

She could only look at her friend after her admission. "You're kidding. That's totally insane. I wouldn't do that."

"Don't you wish he would? Admit it, Buffy, you really want him to propose. And the wait is driving you nuts."

"Angel hasn't proposed because he does not want to rush things this time."

"It's going too slow, though. I can tell," guessed Cordelia.

Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "A little. I know he's going to, deep down in my heart. But then I honestly can't help but wonder if this is it for us. That we'll just live together for the rest of our lives and never make it official. You know, have sex and raise a family, but never be married. Maybe what happened to us last time scared him and he's afraid to ask me again."

"He's waiting for the right time," Willow told her. "Angel wouldn't do something like that; he wants to marry you. The proposal will come."

"Soon, God willing," Buffy agreed.

At eleven-fifteen, Angel looked over at Buffy, who sat on the bed, next to him reading a book. She never looked more beautiful to him than when she was concentrating or deep in thought.

"Buffy," he said.

Buffy closed the book. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for the way I acted earlier. I was being a jerk. It really means a lot to me that you are doing so much; that you want to help me with everything."

"I wasn't about to stand by and watch you struggle. It's going to be hard on you. That's why I'm here."

"And I appreciate it. I just wish I could show you just how much I really do appreciate it."

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.

"I want to make love to you, but I can't. It's a little difficult when I can't touch you or even hold you afterward."

She grinned mischievously. "How do you feel other than the broken bones?"

"Perfectly fine. Accelerated healing comes in handy. Something I'm glad I got from my mother."

"Then who says we can't?"

"It might be a little difficult. Kind of uncomfortable."

"I'm up for the challenge," Buffy informed him. "But the question is, are you? Do you think you can?"

Angel nodded. "I'm very up for it. But I might not be able to do much more than just lay here. I probably won't be a very active participant, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. That puts me in charge, doesn't it? I can handle that. But don't worry. You'll be very involved."

She helped him lean back on the bed, pulling the blankets off his boxer shorts-clad body. Putting her hands around the waistband of his shorts, Buffy slowly removed the only article of clothing he wore. His erection sprung out of his shorts, showing how up to it he was. Maneuvering herself so that she sat on his upper legs, Buffy tickled his thighs, moving her fingertips slowly up his body.

Buffy replaced her fingers with her lips, kissing a trail up his chest, devouring as much of him as she could. She felt him poking her stomach when she leaned forward to suckle on his neck and shoulder. Very careful not to place pressure on his broken arm, she sucked on his neck, biting gently, then kissing the area around it. Her hands stoked Angel's sides down to his waist and thighs, making him even harder. This didn't go unnoticed by his lover, who pressed herself harder against him.

Sitting up again, Buffy lifted her t-shirt over her head. She hadn't bothered wearing shorts or underwear. After months of living with him, she found out that the garments only got in their way most of the time.

"Can you sit up?" she wanted to know.

Angel nodded. "Yeah."

With a bit of a struggle, he managed to get himself in a sitting position. From behind, Buffy bent his legs at the knees, confining her body between his legs and his broad chest. Lifting her body off of him, she positioned herself over his hardened member, but stopped before letting him inside.

"What's wrong?" Angel asked.

"I forgot to put on your condom," she answered. "It'll just take a second."

"Don't bother. I'm not going to wear them anymore. From now on, I am letting nature take its course. If you get pregnant, then we'll know it was meant to be. We can't stop the inevitable. If it happens, it happens."

She widened her eyes with glee. "You're ready to start a family?"

"Life's too short, I see that now. So, yes, I'm ready to start trying for a baby. As long as you are."

Buffy sheathed herself on his penis. "I'm very ready."

Gingerly at first, she rocked back and forth on him, trying her hardest not to hurt him. When she saw that he wasn't in any pain, she increased her pace until she was slamming down on him, as Angel did his best to help her thrusting, though he couldn't do too much. With his right hand, he pushed her back against his knees, giving him better access inside of her.

Since he had no use of his hands, he lowered his head to capture her left nipple with his lips. As Buffy continued to thrust her body down on his, he teased her until her nipple hardened, biting down gently, sending waves of pleasure through her body. Giving her right nipple the same attention, he had the same effect on her once again. Angel could see how hard Buffy was trying to increase the pressure around her clit in order to bring forth her climax, and he couldn't help her. It aggravated him that he couldn't even make her come.

He put his right arm around her back, and brought them back to the bed, with her on top. Their lips finally came together, and he could now help her reach orgasm by thrusting more firmly against her, meeting her in midair.

"I want…please…come…I'm so close," she moaned between kisses.

"I'm trying, love. You will, I promise."

They slammed their pelvises violently against one another. With her leaning forward more firmly against him, Buffy was putting much needed pressure where she desired it the most, and a minute later, she began to shudder in the early stages of her orgasm. The feeling of her coming around him sent Angel over the edge as well, spilling himself inside of her, both calling each others' name in the throes of their climaxes. He had to admit one thing to himself – making love to Buffy was much better without a condom.

Still gasping for breath, Buffy reached to the end of the bed for the blankets, covering them up. She laid herself on top of him, using his chest as a pillow and putting her arms around him.

"This isn't so bad. Now I can hold you," she said.

"I'm not complaining."

She craned her neck to look her lover in the eye. "Angel, is it always going to be like this for us?"

"Like what?"

"You and me, just having sex and living together? Nothing more than that?"

"Why would you ask me that, Buffy?"

She tightened her hold on him. "I got to thinking today that this is how our life is going to be. That we'll never get married and we'll live like this for the rest of our lives."

"Buffy, you know I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Are you afraid? Is it because of what happened the last time?" "I thought you wanted to go slower this time around. Can't we simply enjoy being together right now?"

She placed a kiss on his chest. "I guess. I'm a little afraid that something will happen and I'll never get to be Mrs. Angel Reilly."

"I promise you, Buffy, I have every intention of marrying you. I wouldn't have returned to Sunnydale if I didn't."

Buffy, Willow and Cordelia sat at a table inside the Expresso Pump, talking about their plans for the Fourth of July. It was already the third, and Angel still had yet to propose. Even though Buffy knew deep in her heart that it was coming eventually, she wished he would hurry up and do it. Things had been going well for them since the end of February, and Buffy was not-so-anxiously awaiting the upcoming catastrophe that would tear them apart again.

"You and Angel are going to the beach party, aren't you?" Cordelia asked.

Buffy wasn't sure if they were going. "I'd like to go, but I don't know if Angel wants to go. You guys know how antisocial he is around people he isn't acquainted with."

"Buffy, after four years, he's still sort of antisocial around us," the brown haired girl pointed out. "And we're his friends."

"True. He's not a people person. I'll do my best to convince him. He's pretty worn out, though."

Willow nodded sympathetically. "Teaching summer school must have put a damper on your plans for this summer."

"Big time. We were going to go to Niagara Falls for the fourth, but Angel has to teach class the next day. And I want to go to Las Vegas for a few days, but that's out of the question, too."

Cordelia laughed. "I can see it now. The first wedding chapel you see, you'll be dragging him in there kicking and screaming so you can finally make it legal after all this time. And without a prenuptial agreement, you stand to inherit his millions."

"Cordelia!" Willow screeched. "I cannot believe you just said that. You're making it sound like Buffy's only after his money."

"That's not how I meant it." She turned to Buffy, who sat wide-eyed across the table. "Buffy, I know you love him. I was just saying that once you two do get married, you'll probably inherit all of it, unless Angel makes you sign a prenup. Unless you already have one. Do you?"

Buffy shook her head. "Nope, no prenuptial agreement. Angel knows I'm not after his money. I don't even care about how much he's worth. I'd still love him if he had no money at all."

"Yeah, but do you realize how rich you're going to be when you do marry him?"

"If, Cordy. He hasn't exactly asked me."

Willow knit her eyebrows together. "Yet. He will. Didn't you tell us months ago that he said he was going to?"

"Yeah. But that was in February. Maybe he changed his mind since then. Even though…"

"Even though what?" Cordelia wanted to know.

"Well, Angel said he's ready to start a family. After the accident, he decided life is too short to wait for what you want; to put things on hold. You have to go after it. So we stopped using protection and decided to let nature take its course."

"That's good," Willow commented. "It means he's ready to settle down with you."

Buffy nodded. "It is good. But he hasn't even mentioned marriage in almost six months. With him having said that he doesn't want to waste any more time, it makes me wonder if he's ever going to ask me; if it's not something he really wants after all."

"Buffy, Angel's an anal perfectionist. He's probably just waiting for the perfect opportunity to propose."

"I don't know. Despite what he said, I honestly doubt it's ever going to happen."

"I can't believe you actually wanted to come to the beach party," Buffy said to Angel as they carried their things to the shore where the party was taking place.

"It might be fun. Besides, it's been such a long time since we did anything with your friends. I've been so busy with my classes, we need to go out and enjoy ourselves."

"Are you just saying that to shut me up?" she joked.

Angel smiled. "Not at all. I love the sound of your voice. I could listen to it all day long."

They reached the sandy dune where everybody had congregated. All of their friends had already arrived. Cordelia and Xander were splashing around in the ocean, Willow and Oz were sitting on their towels, and Kristen and her boyfriend Andrew were playing volleyball with a group of students from the high school. The two began dating a month after her ordeal with Kevin, and things were going well. Kristen seemed really happy and determined not to rush things.

Placing their towels on the sand, not too far from their friends, Buffy and Angel slipped out of their t-shirts and shorts, revealing their bathing suits. While he chose a simple pair of black swimming trunks, Buffy chose something a bit more risqué. She wore a blue and white checkered bikini that just barely covered her. Angel's eyes bulged at the sight, and he threw a spare towel over her body.

The act took Buffy by surprise. "What was that for?"

"I don't want every guy here ogling you. Your bathing suit leaves very little to the imagination," he said.

Buffy shrugged. "What's the big deal? You're the only one who gets to see what's being covered. Angel, you are making it sound like I wore it to get attention, or that I'm going to run around the beach yelling 'Look at my breasts! Aren't they perky?' Give me a break."

"It's only that I know what teenage boys act like when they see a beautiful woman in a bikini. They stop thinking with their brains and start thinking with other body parts. Believe me, I know."

"Speaking from experience?"

"I was a teenager once upon a time. Buffy, I just don't want those guys looking at you like you're a piece of meat."

She handed him the towel he used to cover her. "Well, they can look but they can't touch. Only you get to do that. Angel, I'm not going to throw myself at some over-sexed teenage boy when I can go home to you."

"Alright," he relented. "But if one guy starts hitting on you or undressing you with his eyes, you are putting on a t-shirt. Okay?"

"Agreed."

The two laid back on their towels to get some sun. Occasionally, one of their friends would stop over to talk, and Angel noticed that Xander stopped over for seemingly no reason whatsoever, rousing suspicions in Angel that the young man was gawking at Buffy's scantily clad body.

A tall blond man walked over to Buffy. "Buffy Summers, is that you?"

She removed her sunglasses to get a better look at him. "Oh my god, Riley. How are you?"

Angel, who'd been lying opposite his girlfriend, opened his eyes. They remained hidden behind his sunglasses, so he watched as his girlfriend conversed with her ex-boyfriend.

"I'm doing really well. And you?"

"Can't complain. What have you been up to?"

"Just finished my PhD in Clinical Psychology. I'll be teaching at UCLA come the fall semester. What about you? Have you graduated yet?" Riley wanted to know.

Buffy nodded. "Yep. Finished back in December. Are you seeing anyone?"

He grinned. "Got engaged a year ago to a fellow Psychology student. Her name is Sara. I'm really happy. Are you dating someone right now?"

"Actually, I ended up getting back together with Angel, my ex-boyfriend. And I'm the happiest I've ever been," Buffy informed Riley.

"I had a feeling you'd go back to him after you broke up with me. You were still so much in love with him. I could tell," Riley reminisced. "You've probably been together for a long time now."

"Off and on, we have. But at times, it seems like it was only yesterday that Angel and I first met."

"Do you have any wedding plans on the horizon?"

Angel noticed a sad, longing look on her gorgeous face, but then it disappeared almost immediately. "No," she answered. "Right now we're…just living together. And it's nice. But I don't expect a proposal anytime soon."

Riley nodded in understanding. "I get it, going slow this time. Well, I just wanted to stop by and say hello. Sara's probably wondering what happened to me. It's been nice seeing you again, Buffy."

"Same here. Take care."

While everyone else went to Sunnydale High for the annual fireworks display, Buffy and Angel remained at the beach. They had it all to themselves, watching the fireworks from their beach towel in the sand.

"I love the Fourth of July," Buffy said. "Definitely one of my favorite holidays."

"The fireworks are my favorite part. To this day, I'm still amazed that simple little rockets of light can look so perfect against a pitch black sky."

She sighed. "Remember what happened four years ago tonight?"

"I most certainly do."

"One of the best nights of my life. Even when I'm old and feeble and barely able to remember my own name, I'll remember every minute of our first night together."

"So will I," Angel agreed.

A flash of light exploded across the sky. Buffy watched in amazement as it began to spell out a sentence. Within seconds, it read:

WILL YOU

MARRY ME?

"That is so romantic," she said. "Someone proposing like that. Don't you think so, Angel?" Buffy turned to her left, but found that he was no longer sitting next to her. "Angel?"

Quickly turning to the right, she saw him, bent down on one knee, holding a diamond ring. It was her old engagement ring from three and a half years ago.

"Will you?" he asked softly.

Words escaped her at that moment. Her breath caught and her heart raced. It was what Buffy had been dreaming about for years. "I – that – you had this planned? This is for me?" she managed to choke out. "You set this whole thing up?"

Angel nodded his head. "For three months now. Everyone was in on it, or helped in some way. How do you think I got this whole beach to ourselves? Almost everyone at the party knew."

"You've been planning this for months?"

"Yes. Please, Buffy. Will you make me the luckiest man alive by becoming my wife?"

Tears filled her emerald eyes. "I've been waiting for you to ask me for months, for years even. Yes! Yes! Yes!"

She threw her arms around him, kissing him with a tender passion as enthusiastic as her response to his marriage proposal. They lost their balance, falling onto the sand in a tangle of limbs as the fireworks continued to explode above them.

The End

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