"Take My Breath Away"
Author: Michelle
Email: michellabella52478@yahoo.com
I always thought I had the perfect life, or a charmed one at the very least. A caring mother who loved and supported me, a younger sister who looked up to me, a father who may have lived two hours away but always paid his child support on time and remembered our birthdays. My friends were the best friends anyone could ask for, always there for me whenever I needed them, and best of all a kind, loving, handsome boyfriend. I even had a successful career as the proprietor of the Sunnydale Art Gallery. As I said the perfect life.
But all that changed shortly before my twenty-third birthday. First my mom got sick; she was diagnosed with a brain tumor just before Christmas. Though we were shocked and saddened by this turn of events, we were optimistic, and so were Mom's doctors. They managed to remove the tumor and she went into remission. We all thought she was getting better, she even started dating again. Then I came home for lunch one afternoon in February and found her laying on the couch. At first I thought she had fallen asleep, until I took a closer look.
Mom was dead. She'd had a stroke caused by an undetected blood clot a complication she hadn't bothered to mention to either myself or Dawn when she returned home from the hospital. We didn't even know it was a possible side-effect to the surgery. I thought she was playing a joke on me when I first saw her. When I saw that it wasn't a joke, I froze. I didn't know anything about CPR and I had to wait for the ambulance to arrive, and even then I just stood there watching them like an idiot while they tried to bring my mother back to life. I couldn't even answer their questions.
I don't know who took Mom's death harder, me or Dawn. She delved into a state of denial and blame, tossing blame at Mom, the doctors and especially me because I did not know how to revive her. Her blame suited me fine, since I blamed myself anyway. I did my best to keep my emotions to myself. It wasn't one of the smartest decisions I'd ever made. If only I'd known at the time it would cost me the man I loved.
Riley Finn and I had been dating for four years, since my freshman year at UC Sunnydale. He was one of the teaching assistants in my Psychology class. It was my first real adult relationship, and Riley was my first lover. I always thought he'd be my first, my last and my only. Like everything else in my life, our relationship was absolutely perfect. I loved Riley, and Riley loved me. Or at least that's what I thought.
After Mom's death, I pulled away from everyone, including Riley. I was constantly apologizing to him, and he always claimed to understand, saying he'd be there when I was ready to talk. Unfortunately, I wasn't ready quick enough for him. By the time June came along, Riley told me he couldn't wait for me to go back to being Buffy again, and that he had found someone else while I was wallowing in my misery.
That someone turned out to be Cordelia Chase, my old high school nemesis. God, how I despised her, and I hate her even more now. She stole the love of my life out from under my nose when I was at the lowest point in my life. We'd been bitter rivals from the first day of kindergarten, but my hatred of her reached its boiling point when she started dating Angel McCoy our sophomore year of high school. But that's a different story for a different day.
Naturally, being dumped by Riley hurt. I walked around like I'd been hit by a Mack truck. In less than four months, I'd lost my mother to a brain tumor and my boyfriend to Cordelia Chase. I didn't think my life could get any worse, but to my surprise, it did. The friends I expected to offer their support turned on me. Xander said I didn't trust Riley enough to share my feelings and that I didn't deserve to have him. Anya added that men have certain needs and I wasn't giving Riley enough orgasms. Spike called me a dick tease.
The only person who stood by my side one hundred percent was my best friend Willow. She said Riley's loss was some other lucky guy's gain. For my entire life, she'd been the one person I could tell anything to. Willow listened to me cry night after night when Riley left me for Cordelia. She even listened to me go on and on all through high school about Angel her stepbrother and my lifelong crush. But the best thing Willow ever did for me was be there for me, and telling her stepbrother off when he rejected me, saying he wasn't good enough for me, and that someday he'd regret calling me a flat-chested nobody who disgusted him.
I thought I was doing okay for most of the summer. Riley's rejection still stung, my friends sided with him, and I struggled with running the gallery and raising my seventeen-year-old sister. I still had Willow's support, but even that couldn't prepare me for what was coming next. Dawn decided to go away to school, stating that Sunnydale held too many bad memories and she wanted to get as far away from her hometown as possible.
Her decision nearly ripped my heart in two. Everyone was leaving me. My sister had become my reason for living since Mom died, and now she was moving to the other side of the country. The last thing I wanted was to be alone; I needed to be surrounded by people who loved me, and it wasn't until the day after Dawn left for New York that it came to me. The answer to my prayers, the one thing I needed to feel whole again.
A baby.
I spent weeks researching every option, from artificial insemination to adoption to one-night stands in hopes that one of them might give me the child I so desperately wanted. I ended up scrapping all these ideas. Adoption was great, but I couldn't wait ten years for a baby. And as for artificial insemination and sleeping with random guys? My child deserved better than a nameless, faceless father. My choices were fairly limited after that, and I had just about given up hope of having a child of my own.
Then Willow's stepbrother blew back into town, and right into my gallery. And Angel made all the pieces fit. If only I knew then how complicated my life was about to become.
Sitting at her desk in her office at the gallery, Buffy Summers cradled the telephone between her ear and her shoulder. She was trying to make out the bills for the month and hold a conversation with her best friend at the same time.
"I appreciate your help, Wills. Really, I do," the blonde-haired woman told her friend. "But I already looked into it. And I decided against it."
Willow Rosenberg sighed. All she wanted to do was give Buffy some ideas. "What's wrong with going to a sperm bank? Women do it all the time."
"I'm not one of those women. Look, I went to the one on Marshall Street last week and it's just not for me. The whole thing is so impersonal, going in there and having some doctor inject me with any random guy's sperm...ugh. Sorry," explained Buffy.
"Then what are you going to do? It's not like you've dated anyone since Riley" She stopped herself before she ended up putting her foot in her mouth.
Buffy wrote out her last bill as Willow abruptly ended her statement. "You can say it, Will, it's okay. Since Riley dumped me for Cordelia. It's fine, I'm over it; it was six months ago. And to answer your question, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I've been thinking about asking one the guys I know if they'd be willing to donate."
The redhead nearly spit out the coffee she was drinking. "I'm sorry, that's kinda funny to me. Asking for a donation. Buffy, it's not like asking for money to give to the United Way or something. We're talking about asking someone to father your child!"
"I know." Glancing through the glass, she caught sight of one of her employees signaling for her. "Okay, I gotta go, I think Nina's having a minor emergency. I'll talk to you later."
"All right. Bye, Buffy."
After saying her goodbyes, Buffy left her office and headed out to the showroom, where Nina stood. Her employee looked as if she'd seen a ghost. "Are you okay, Nina?" she asked quietly so as not to disturb the customers who were looking around.
"I'm great."
"Then why did you flag me down? And why do you look like you're going to faint any second?"
The tall blonde pointed to one of the more private showrooms to the right of where they were standing. "Standing in that room is one of the most beautiful men I've ever laid eyes on, Buffy. He even winked at me! I seriously thought I would die on the spot," Nina Walsh said.
Buffy chuckled. It wasn't like her employee to act like that. "He must be a hottie if he's got you so hot and bothered. And if he's browsing in the Monet Room, he must have good taste in art. And deep pockets. Should I go schmooze him or do you want to?"
Nina shook her head. She doubted she'd be able to form a coherent sentence if she had to be within five feet of him. "You better do it, Buffy. I don't want to mess this one up."
"Got it. It looks like Mrs. Sheldon could use some help, why don't you take care of her while I help your mystery man," Buffy suggested.
Once Nina agreed, Buffy slowly walked into the Monet Room, which contained the most expensive paintings her gallery sold. Standing near the far wall, she saw a tall, dark-haired man in a blue shirt and leather pants with a leather duster draped over his right arm. She let her green eyes casually peruse him, and once they reached his leather-clad backside, she sighed heavily. She'd know that ass anywhere; she'd fantasized about it for the better part of ten years.
"This gallery only caters to a certain type of clientele," Buffy stated, announcing her presence.
Angel McCoy turned around slowly upon hearing Buffy's voice. He'd been hoping to see her, and chose to ignore her biting comment. When their eyes met, he grinned. "Buff. You're looking...better than good. Long time no see." As she had done, Angel took in the sight of his stepsister's best friend. Little Buffy Summers had certainly grown up since last time he'd seen her. And grew out.
"Not nearly long enough. And my name is Buffy, not Buff," she corrected.
He nodded, turning his head to check out the paintings. "Nice place you have here. Willow tells me you do a good business. I can see why."
"I like to focus on newer, up-and-coming artists. This is the only room you'll find more well-known names. And you wouldn't be able to afford any of these paintings," Buffy said. She did her best to keep him from seeing how much his presence was throwing her.
It had been over five years since she last saw Angel. He was a year older than herself and Willow, so he came back to Sunnydale from traveling the US for his stepsister's high school graduation. Buffy tried to push the memory of that night from her mind. It was the night she asked Angel to make love to her, the night she confessed her true feelings to him. She could still hear the sound of his laughter as he told her even if she was the last girl on the face of the planet he wouldn't sleep with her. Those words still stung years later.
"I can afford anything in this room," he told her, taking a predatory step in her direction. "Anything, Buff."
"Not everything's for sale," Buffy reminded him. 'You could have had me for free if you'd had any brains in your head.' "Are you planning on telling me why you're back in town? I thought you were off being a vacuous, L.A. pretty boy."
"Los Angeles lost its appeal. I couldn't nurture my talent there."
Buffy raised a single eyebrow. "Talent? What happened, run out of girls to screw, or did they start to see right through you?"
Angel placed his hand over his heart. "Ouch. That really hurt. For your information, I bought a house here in Sunnydale. I'm back for good. The small town environment is better for my creative juices."
"Wonderful. I'm so happy for you."
"I'm an artist, you know," Angel informed her.
"So I heard. I've seen your work. A bit immature and undeveloped for my taste, but hey, whatever." Buffy wished Angel would leave; the sight of him in his leather pants was seriously making her want to lock the showroom door and beg him to father her child right there on the hardwood floor.
He flashed her a sexy half-smile, the one he knew from past experience made her knees turn to jelly. "I've been giving thought to holding an exhibit of my work. This would be the perfect place to have it."
"Not in my lifetime. Now if you'll excuse me, I have paperwork to do." She turned on her heel and headed for the door.
"Hey, Buffy," he called. "What if I wanted to buy something?"
"Ask Nina to help you. She's out front."
When Nina saw her boss leave the Monet Room, she made her way over. "Well? What do you think? Hottie?" she questioned.
Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah, I guess. If you're into arrogant sons of bitches." Though she tried to deny it, the years had definitely been good to Angel McCoy. But she wasn't the same naive eighteen-year-old girl she'd been the last time they had laid eyes on one another. It would take more than just good looks and a cocky attitude to make her fall for him again.
"Oh my god, did you get a look at his ass? It's so tight you could bounce a quarter off it."
"Nina, he *is* an ass." Buffy rolled her eyes as she caught sight of Angel walking onto the main showroom, and avoided his stare. "I'm going back in my office. Call me if you need me."
No sooner had Buffy entered her office when she picked up the telephone and dialed Willow's cell phone number. She didn't care that they'd hung up with each other less than ten minutes earlier, Buffy wanted answers, and she wanted them now.
"Hello?" Willow answered.
"It's me again."
"That was fast. I guess Nina's emergency wasn't quite the emergency she made it out to be. What was wrong?"
Buffy exhaled loudly. "A potential buyer in the Monet Room. And you'll never guess who it was that had her in such a tizzy. Angel. Will, why didn't you tell me he was back in Sunnydale?"
"Angel's back? I had no idea, he never told me."
"I thought you two were supposed to be close. Don't you still talk to him on the phone every other day or something?"
Inside her office, Willow shook her head. She couldn't believe her stepbrother had come back to their hometown. "Yeah, we talk at least once a week, usually on Sundays. But he never mentioned anything about coming back to Sunnydale for a visit."
"No, not a visit. He told me he's back for good. And how did he know I own the gallery?" Buffy wanted to know.
"Okay, Buffy, you're getting way too bent out of shape over this. I had no idea Angel was even *thinking* about moving back here. And as for the gallery, of course I told him you own it. He asked me what you've been up to lately and I told him. Believe it or not, you do come up in the occasional conversation. It's nothing to be angry about. Angel cares about you."
Buffy paced back and forth in her small office. Through the window she could see Nina and Angel talking. The way he was smiling at her made the blonde want to hurl one of her expensive vases at his head. "Spare me, Wills. Angel likes to antagonize me. I only repulse him."
"You know that's not true."
"Those are his words, not mine."
The redhead rolled her eyes. "You guys were kids; teenagers, for heaven's sake. I don't know why Angel said what he said to you that night, but he never thought of you as repulsive. You were like a sister to him."
"I never wanted to be his sister," Buffy stated harshly. Realizing she was taking her frustration out on her best friend, Buffy sat down and sighed. "I'm sorry. Look, seeing Angel again after all these years just threw me for a loop, that's all. I didn't mean to take it out on you."
"I know. If it makes you feel better, I'll find out why he's suddenly back in town. Trust me, my stepbrother has a lot of explaining to do," promised Willow.
"So, Nina," Angel began, leaning in closer to the salesgirl with the dirty blond hair, "tell me how long you've been working here."
She blushed at his close proximity. Never before in her twenty-one years had such a handsome man paid so much attention to her. "About a year. I'm an Art History major at UC Sunnydale and this is great experience. And Buffy is awesome to work for."
He nodded his head. "You didn't grow up in Sunnydale, did you? I'm sure I would've remembered you from when I used to live here."
"I lived in Florida before here. My family moved to Sunnydale four years ago." Nina paused. "You lived here before?"
"Yep, born and raised in Sunnydale. I moved to L.A. shortly after I graduated from high school six years ago," Angel explained.
"Really? You must have known Buffy then. She graduated five years ago."
"I knew Buffy very well. She's best friends with my sister Willow. I remember when she was still sporting pigtails and braces." 'And she was beautiful even then,' he thought.
Nina raised her eyebrows. "Wow. What do you do, Angel?"
"I'm an artist. I was actually trying to convince Buffy to have a showing of some of my work. Unfortunately, she wasn't too keen on the idea. She and I didn't exactly part on the best of terms." Angel gave Nina his trademark half-smile. "Maybe you could put in a good word for me, Nina."
She swallowed. Hard. The way he said her name made Nina want to fall to her knees and beg. "I'll do my best."
"You know, you have the most beautiful features," he complimented. "I'd love to draw you sometime."
"You would? I would like that. I-I've never been anyone's model before." Nina was flattered by his kind words.
"I find that hard to believe."
Peeking over Nina's shoulder, Angel caught sight of Buffy pacing inside her office, having what was obviously a very heated conversation with the person on the other end of the telephone. Her pretty face was flush with anger, making Angel wish he was a fly on the wall. Hell, he'd have traded a year of his life to waltz into the tiny office, press her lithe body against the wall and give her what she'd asked for the night of her high school graduation.
// Angel was tired. Exhausted was more like it. After getting up at seven-thirty in the morning, driving two hours to see his stepsister graduate from high school, then attending her graduation party, all the nineteen-year-old wanted to do was fall asleep in his old bed. At midnight, it was too long of a drive to head back to Los Angeles, so he planned to leave after lunch the next day.
What he found in his bedroom made him stop dead in his tracks. Standing in the middle of the room was Buffy, Willow's best friend, wearing one of his button-down shirts. The hem reached her mid-thigh, and seeing her in it made his jeans feel entirely too tight. If Buffy was trying to make him crave a cold shower, he wanted to congratulate her on a job well done.
The tiny blonde had been his fantasy girl since she turned fifteen; Angel had lost count of the number of times he'd fantasized about kissing her soft lips, caressing her smooth skin, carrying her to his bed and giving himself to her in a way he'd never given himself to another girl. So many times he came close to making a move on her, but he always managed to stop himself, remembering that she was little Buffy Summers. She was Willow's best friend, and sleeping with her would be wrong.
"Buffy," he said, trying his best not to stutter.
She took a step toward him. "Hi, Angel."
"What are you doing in here?"
"I came here to see you," Buffy answered.
"You've seen me all night long," Angel told her lamely. 'Breathe, Angel. Remember to breathe.'
Buffy shook her head. "Not like this I haven't. I..." She searched for the right words to say, not wanting to come off as a swooning schoolgirl. After all, she was eighteen. A high school graduate, and a young woman standing in front of her childhood crush wearing nothing but a thin shirt. "I like you, Angel."
"I like you, too, Buffy."
"No, I more than like you. I've had this c-crush on you for years, for as long as I can remember," she admitted.
"Look"
"Don't. You don't have to like me back, I just want one thing from you." Buffy took a deep breath. "I want you to be my first."
Angel's jaw nearly dropped to the floor. It was like one of his fantasies come true. "Your first?" he questioned.
"Make love to me, Angel. I want to have sex with you."
He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Buffy Summers, his dream girl, the one girl he'd wanted but thought could never have, wanted to give him her virginity. "No."
"No?" Her lower lip trembled. "Why not? You told me earlier you didn't have a chance to get me something for graduation. Well, this is the only present I want. I want one night in your arms. I want to know what it feels like to be made love to by the man I love. Why won't you give me that?"
Her words almost made him change his mind. Angel knew if he allowed himself to make love to Buffy, he'd never want to leave her. She was in Sunnydale, and he had every intention of returning to L.A. the following afternoon. "Why would I want to sleep with you? God, Buffy, you're just a kid." He had to get the idea out of her head.
"I'm not a kid anymore. I'm eighteen," she argued.
Angel shrugged his shoulders. "Look, Buffy, I'm only going to say this once. I don't see you like that. When I look at you, all I see is Willow's little friend, a flat-chested little whiner who couldn't turn on a sex-deprived inmate in a state prison. And the thought of having sex with you makes me sick. So I suggest getting over your little crush and obsessing over someone else, 'cause I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last female on the planet." \\
He could still see the tears in Buffy's green eyes as she ran out of his bedroom those five years ago. What he wished he could do was apologize, and explain why he said those awful things to her. But he doubted she'd let him anywhere near her. Though he loved a challenge.
Angel was inspired. The moment he walked out of the gallery, he was overcome with the insatiable urge to drive home as fast as he could to paint. It hadn't been the art housed at the gallery which inspired him, but the gallery owner herself. The fire he'd seen in Buffy's eyes before she walked away from him was something he needed to put on canvas. He had never seen her look so beautiful, so desirable. And he wanted her as much as he had when he was teenager. Perhaps more.
He had moved back to Sunnydale three days earlier, purchasing a simple two-story house on Revello Drive rather than a more ostentatious home closer to his mother and stepfather, despite the fact that he could afford such a house. Angel tried to convince himself he chose the house for convenience, but he knew the main reason was because it was located only a few houses away from Buffy's house.
All he wanted to do was lock himself in his studio down the hall from his bedroom, but he was sidetracked by the annoying ringing of his cell phone. Without checking the Caller ID, he flipped it open and pressed it against his ear.
"Hello?" he answered, aggravated by the interruption.
Willow was taken aback by her stepbrother's gruff greeting. "Wow, somebody's grumpy. I'm not interrupting something, am I?"
Angel immediately calmed down when he heard Willow's voice. "Sorry, Willow. You caught me as I was getting ready to start painting. What's going on?"
"I'm not very happy with you right now," she told him. "How come I had to hear from my best friend that you've moved back to Sunnydale?"
"Buffy told you she saw me, huh?"
"Yeah, and she practically reamed me out for not telling her you came back home. I had to explain to her that I had no idea you were here. And I'm hoping you'll tell me why you're home again. Why are you here?"
He sighed. When he'd looked into Buffy's office while he was flirting with Nina, he should have known she was on the telephone with Willow. But he had to admit to himself her reaction pleased him; he was glad she even *had* a reaction to his return to Sunnydale. It gave him a glimmer of hope that the tiny blonde still harbored feelings for him. "So, Buffy gave you hell? Sorry, Wills. I didn't think she would be so upset to see me."
"You and I both know you don't believe that," she said to him. "You couldn't wait to see Buffy and twist the knife a little harder and a little deeper. That was really mean of you, especially since you know how much you hurt her."
"It was five years ago. I was sure she'd have gotten over it by now."
"There are some things you don't get over easily. A broken heart is one of them." Willow paused, realizing what her stepbrother had done. "Okay, you totally changed the subject without answering my question. Why did you move back to Sunnydale?"
"I wanted to surprise you," Angel stated playfully.
Willow chuckled. "Now you're lying. Tell me the truth, Angel."
"All right. I missed being around my family, and I missed seeing your ugly mug every other day. Besides, L.A. was getting a little too stifling for me. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, I couldn't concentrate on my work. So I gave it some thought and decided I needed to be back in a small town setting."
"And here I thought you might be getting ready to settle down," she teased.
"Maybe I am," Angel replied truthfully. "Maybe I'm ready to settle down and get married and have a minivan full of rug rats."
The redhead did her best not to laugh in her stepbrother's ear. "You're ready for all of that at the age of twenty-four? I'm sorry, that's really funny, Angel. You always said you were happy living the unattached artist's life. I just can't see you driving a minivan and coaching Little League anytime in the near future."
"I would if I found the right woman," he admitted. Strolling to the other side of his studio his personal sanctuary Angel picked up a picture his mother had taken at his high school graduation. He stood in his cap and gown with a smile on his face. But he wore the smile not because he had finally graduated, but because he had his arms wrapped around Buffy's waist as she gave him a congratulatory hug. When his mother handed him the picture the following day, he recalled her telling him how striking a couple the two of them made. As soon as he got to L.A., he put the picture in a frame and kept it in the privacy of his studio where nobody else would see it. Buffy had always been his inspiration, and he didn't want to share her with the rest of the world.
"Good luck finding her in Sunnydale."
'I've already found her,' Angel said to himself. 'I've known her since I was eight years old.' "Thanks. Now, I suppose you're gonna tell Mom and Ira I'm back in Sunnydale."
"Darn right, buster. It was mean of you to move back and not tell us anything. Now it's my turn to torture you. First of all, I have to see your apartment."
"I don't have an apartment. I bought a house."
She nearly choked on her words when he told her he bought a house. "A house? Geez, Angel, you must be serious about the settling down thing. Where is it?"
"2417 Revello Drive."
"Revello Drive? You do realize Buffy's going to kick your ass all the way back to Los Angeles when she finds out you're living down the street from her, right? You must have a death wish or something."
Angel smirked. "Or something."
"All right. Assuming she doesn't kill you by then, I have to throw you a Welcome Home party on Saturday. I'm sure Mom and Dad won't mind." Even though Angel's mother married her father when she was seven, Willow always called Sheila McCoy-Rosenberg "Mom." Her biological mother had died when she was three, and the redhead didn't remember her. Sheila was the only mother she'd ever known.
"Will, I don't want you to make a big fuss over this."
"Of course I'm going to make a big fuss over it. Everybody's going to be so happy to see you!" she said excitedly.
'Not everybody,' he thought.
"What are you doing Saturday afternoon?" Willow asked her best friend later that evening. The two were hanging out at Buffy's house watching a movie.
Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "I have no clue, Wills. I barely know what my plans are for tomorrow, much less on Saturday. Why?"
"I'm having a party for Angel. A Welcome Home party."
"In that case, I have plans."
"Buffy!" Willow whined. "Come on, don't be like that. I know you're still upset by what my brother said to you after graduation, but it was years ago. And I know for a fact he's really sorry about it. Can't you put the past behind for you one day and just enjoy a nice party with your friends?"
The blonde pouted, knowing that Willow had a point. It *was* time to get over it. She hated it when Willow had a point. "Fine, I'll go. But if your *stepbrother* says one wrong thing to me, I'm out of there. Understood?"
"Got it. This party is going to be just like old times. The whole gang will be back together again, just like in high school."
Buffy frowned. "Yeah. Just like old times. Can't wait."
Taking a deep and labored breath, Buffy ran one hand through her long blonde hair and pressed the other to the Rosenberg's doorbell. 'Why am I even here?' she asked herself. 'I don't like Angel, and I'm sure as hell not happy he's back in Sunnydale.' As she adjusted the strap of her tank top, the front door opened.
"Buffy!" greeted Sheila McCoy-Rosenberg.
Buffy grinned. "Hi, Mrs. Rosenberg. How have you been?"
"Terrific; glad to have my son back in town, that's for sure. How are you?" Sheila opened the door wider to let her stepdaughter's best friend step inside.
"I'm doing okay. Going through a little bit of the empty nest syndrome now that Dawn's away at college. But the gallery keeps me busy most of the time."
"I keep meaning to stop by, but I've been so busy lately," the older woman explained. "Angel told me the place is very beautiful, that you have a lot of expensive and unique pieces there. He was quite impressed with what you've done with it."
Buffy raised her eyebrows. "He was?"
Sheila couldn't help but notice the glee in the twenty-three year old's green eyes. Something told her Buffy still harbored feelings for her son. "Yes. You know, I never did understand why you and my Angel didn't get together. He was always quite fond of you."
"He wasn't interested in me like that," Buffy said, keeping her answer simple. "Is Willow here yet?"
"In back by the pool with everyone else. You're the last one to arrive. Go on back, there are chips and soda on the patio."
"Thanks."
Buffy made her way through the living room and kitchen before stepping through the sliding doors to the patio. She saw Willow standing off to the side with her stepbrother and her girlfriend, Tara MacClay. Near the refreshment table were Xander Harris, Anya Emerson and Spike Kensington. As soon as she saw them, all Buffy wanted to do was run out the front door and hope no one saw her.
But her best friend did see her. Excusing herself, Willow walked over to where Buffy was standing. "Buffy, you made it! I wasn't sure you were going to come."
"I told you I'd be here. Although I'm beginning to wonder if it was such a good idea," Buffy stated.
Willow knew what she was getting at. "Don't let them bother you. Go sit down by the pool and I'll be there in a minute."
"Okay."
Willow resumed her place in the conversation Angel and Tara were engaged in. When he saw Buffy set foot on the patio, Angel lost all interest in what Tara was saying to him. All he could focus his attention on was Buffy, and how beautiful she looked in her black tank top, khaki shorts and black sandals. Part of him wished he could turn back the clock to that night over five years ago and make love to her like he'd wanted to so desperately. But in the back of his mind, Angel knew he'd done the right thing. 'Maybe this is my second chance.'
His stepsister noticed Angel's lack of interest, and followed his gaze. When she saw him watching Buffy strip down to her black bikini, she realized what he was thinking about. "Why don't you go talk to her?" Willow suggested.
"Who?" he asked innocently.
"Who do you think? Buffy! She's over there, all alone. Do yourself a favor and apologize to her for being such a jerk at the gallery the other day."
He sighed. "Fine." Walking slowly, Angel thought about what he'd say to Buffy, how he'd chip away at the wall of ice that seemed to have been built between them. But he lost his train of thought when he reached her side; he had to keep his hormones in check as he saw up close, laying on the lounge chair in her barely-there black bikini.
"You're blocking the sun," Buffy said. She'd seen him walk over and waited impatiently for him to say something to her.
"Sorry," Angel mumbled, sitting down on the chair next to her. "I'm surprised you even came."
"I came because Willow asked me to come, *not* because of you or because I'm happy you came back. I just want to make that very clear," she told him.
Angel nodded. "Yeah, I figured as much. Look, I only came over to apologize for the way I acted on Wednesday. I was being a complete ass and I wanted to see if I could get a rise out of you. It was immature of me."
"If you're expecting me to disagree with you, you'll be waiting for a very long time." Buffy couldn't ignore the way his eyes took her in, or the fact that he liked what he saw. 'Now he gets to see what he turned down that night,' she thought. 'Eat your heart out, Angel McCoy.' "Are you done?"
"Not yet. I also want to offer my condolences about your mother's death, something I should have done on Wednesday. When Willow told me what happened, I was saddened. Your mom was a wonderful woman; I had a lot of respect for her."
Buffy looked at him curiously. "I had no idea you knew my mom so well. You never mentioned it before now, and she never brought it up either."
"When I knew I wanted to be an artist, your mother really encouraged me; she sat me down and told me what to expect. She was the first person I showed my work to. And she even sold some of my pieces at the gallery before you took over."
"I wish I'd known."
"Willow said you took her death really hard," he commented.
She nodded her head solemnly. "Losing a parent is never easy. You're lucky you've never had to experience it."
"Yeah, I'm real lucky. Look, if you ever need anything, or just need someone to talk to, call me." Reaching into the pocket of his jeans, Angel pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to her.
Buffy eyed him with wonder. "Do you always carry your cell phone number in your pocket?" she questioned.
"Only on special occasions."
++ "Buffy," Angel said, trying his best not to stutter.
She took a step toward him. "Hi, Angel."
"What are you doing here?"
"I came here to see you," Buffy answered.
"You've seen me all night long," Angel told her lamely. 'Breathe, Angel. Remember to breathe.'
Buffy shook her head. "Not like this I haven't. I..." She searched for the right words, not wanting to seem like a swooning schoolgirl. After all, she was eighteen. A high school graduate, and a young woman standing in front of her childhood crush wearing nothing but a thin shirt. "I like you, Angel."
"I like you, too, Buffy."
"No, I more than like you. I've had this c-crush on you for years, for as long as I can remember," she admitted.
"Look"
"Don't. You don't have to like me back, I just want one thing from you." Buffy took a deep breath. "I want you to be my first."
Angel paused for a moment before responding. "Your first?" he questioned.
"Make love to me, Angel. I want to sleep with you."
"Here?"
She nodded her head, pressing herself against him. She knew he was fighting an internal battle, but his body told her he very much wanted to take her to bed. Deciding to give him a little push in the right direction, Buffy pressed her palm against his groin, feeling his erection jump at her touch. "Yes, here. In your bedroom."
"What about Willow? She's right down the hall, and you're supposed to be sleeping over in her room, not mine. Won't she wonder where you are?" Angel asked.
"She's fast asleep. Besides, she doesn't even know I'm gone. All we have to do is close the door and nobody will know what's going on except for us."
"We shouldn't."
"I'm not your little sister, Angel." To make her point, she stepped back and took off the shirt she wore. She saw his brown eyes widen as the garment pooled at her feet. "What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"
While she waited for a response, Angel bridged the gap between them, filling his arms with her. His lips found hers and she immediately parted them to allow his tongue to slip inside. Scooping her into his arms like he'd wanted to do hundreds of times before, Angel walked to the door and closed it for privacy, then locked it. He didn't want any interruptions; he could only imagine how his mother and stepfather would react if they walked in on him making love to Willow's best friend.
Depositing her gently on the bed, the nineteen-year-old gazed at Buffy's naked form lovingly. She was just as perfect as he imagined she'd be. Every part of her was perfectly proportioned, from her hands to her breasts to her feet. He couldn't believe he was about to sleep with her, about to experience his first taste of intimacy with her. It was a dream come true.
Buffy couldn't wait for him anymore, so she sat up and began to unbutton his shirt and push it down his shoulders. She peppered kisses along the smooth, taut muscles of his chest. Angel felt his desire for her grow by the second, and by the time her hands began working on his trousers, he was beyond reason. Any thoughts he might have entertained about stopping flew out of his mind. Buffy's hands were like magic as they yanked down his pants and boxers in one motion. She was just as impatient as him.
Stepping out of his pants and kicking off his socks and shoes, Angel pushed her back to the bed, slowly climbing on top of her. She held her arms out for him, cradling him with her hips. He brought his lips to hers once again, using his right hand to cup her cheek and his left one to lift her right leg over his waist. His erection pressed against her dripping folds, begging for entrance.
"Protection," he muttered, nibbling his way across her jawline to her ear. "I don't have anything with me."
Reaching over, Buffy picked up the square package she'd placed on his bedside table when she first entered the room. "I've got it covered."
Angel was glad Buffy had all the bases covered. "Good. Keep it until we're ready. First, there are some things I've been dying to do to you for years."
Buffy could only nod as Angel slid down her body, his lips leaving a trail from her jaw to the valley between her breasts. A moan escaped her lips when he latched onto one of her nipples, sucking and nipping until the bud hardened. She held his head in place, feeling his hand slide from her cheek along the side of her body until he brought it to rest at the apex of her thighs. He teased her outer lips before pushing a single digit inside her tight channel.
She lifted her hips off the bed while he brought his other hand down to hold them to the bed. Angel turned his attention to Buffy's neglected breast and slowly entered a second finger, beginning a gentle thrusting rhythm to prepare her. He'd heard all the locker room talk about what to do in bed with a woman, and this was his first opportunity to put what he'd learned to use. With the pad of his thumb, he rubbed her clit in time with his thrusts, causing Buffy to toss her head from side to side with need. Pressing harder, he felt her release and lifted his head to watch Buffy experience her very first orgasm.
And she was a sight to behold. Her golden hair fanned out across his pillow like a halo. She called his name over and over again like a mantra, and he continued his thrusting, adding a third finger.
"Shh," he warned her. "You don't want to wake Willow up, do you?"
Buffy shook her head. She expected him to bring his lips back to hers, but he surprised her by continuing his downward path. With her eyes closed, she could feel where he was and what he was doing to her until it all stopped suddenly. Angel's fingers exited and his kisses ceased.
"Angel?" she whispered.
"I'm right here." Noticing that her eyes were still closed, he blew air against her clit to let her know where he was. Her hips jumped off the bed in response.
Opening her legs wider, Angel laved his tongue along her slit, tasting her juices. He heard her gasp in surprise, but never heard her tell him to stop. Continuing to lick her for another few moments, he moved his lips to her swollen and quivering clit, wanting to bring her oral satisfaction as well. If tonight was meant to be their only time together as lovers, he wanted to make it a night neither one of them would ever forget.
Buffy opened her eyes and watched as Angel her Angel, Willow's beloved stepbrother sucked on the tiny bundle of nerves she knew would send her over the edge of ecstasy again. She could feel it building already; the tightness in her stomach and the throbbing between her legs. It wouldn't be long, she knew that for a fact. And she was right; Buffy's second climax came in a flash of light the moment Angel's teeth scraped along her clitoris.
When she opened her eyes once again, she found Angel on his knees unwrapping the condom she'd been holding. 'When did he take it out of my hand?' she wondered. Buffy watched with desire-filled eyes as he rolled it over his turgid length. 'Oh my god, this is it.'
"Are you okay?" he asked, seeing the way she was looking at him.
"Uh-huh."
"Ready?"
She nodded. "Totally ready. Make love to me."
"With pleasure."
Lowering himself back on the bed, Angel was careful not to crush her with his weight by placing all of his weight on one elbow. He brushed the wet hair from her face and met her lips in a long, languid kiss as he pressed the head of his penis inside her core. Beneath him, Buffy stilled completely while Angel entered her, inch by excruciating inch. She'd heard other girls at school discussing their first time as extremely painful. And they weren't lying. No matter how much he had tried to prepare her, his entrance still hurt.
She broke off their kiss as Angel tore through the barrier of her virginity, and let out a cry of pain. Gripping his shoulders for dear life, Buffy bit her lip as the pain washed through her in waves.
"I'm sorry," Angel apologized. "Almost done, I swear. Then it won't hurt anymore."
Buffy nodded her head. It hurt, but it had been what she wanted in the first place. "I know. Just hurry up."
Feeling horribly guilty for causing her so much pain, Angel snaked his right hand between their bodies and rubbed her clit between his thumb and forefinger. Within seconds, Buffy found herself teetering on the edge again. He waited until she had come once again before completing his entrance.
When the last waves of pleasure coursed through her, Buffy realized Angel was fully seated inside of her. Cupping his face, she kissed him and he finally began thrusting in and out of her. He reached down and wrapped her long legs around his waist. He was in heaven, feeling Buffy's hands roaming the expanse of his back, her hips urging him to increase his thrusts.
In a matter of minutes Angel felt his peak approaching. Knowing he couldn't hold on much longer, he worked Buffy into a frenzy and they tipped over into their orgasms simultaneously. ++
Angel bolted up from his fitful slumber. He rubbed his sleepy eyes and noticed the bedsheets tented around his groin. 'Fuck,' he thought. It wasn't like he'd never dreamt about making love to Buffy before, but this time was different from all the other times. It felt more real, like it was really happening.
Sliding out from under the covers, he padded into the bathroom to take care of his problem.
Rousing from her sleep, Buffy stretched her tired muscles. She was sore from the very real dream she'd just had. But she couldn't understand where it came from; she hadn't fantasized about having sex with Angel in years. Not since she and Riley began dating.
Something about it felt different, as if her subconscious was trying to tell her something. Buffy wracked her brain until she realized what it was. There had to be a reason she'd dreamt of Angel. Then it came to her. The baby she wanted. The dream was telling her to ask Angel to father her child.
Buffy spent all day Sunday and most of Monday morning walking around on eggshells. She hadn't been able to fall back to sleep after waking up from her dream, as if she was supposed to spend the next thirty-six hours obsessing over its significance. It *had* to be telling her to ask Angel to father her child, why else would she have had a dream about making love with him? She was certainly over her feelings for him, even if his rejection still continued to sting.
From the moment she walked through the door Monday morning, Nina saw that her boss was distracted by something. Wondering what was wrong, the employee knocked on the closed door of the office. Glancing up, Buffy rolled her chair over and opened the door.
"Hi, Nina. Everything going okay out there?" Buffy asked.
"Yeah, everything's fine out in the showroom. It's kinda slow, actually. I came in here to see if you were okay. You seemed kind of out of it when you came in," Nina said.
Buffy frowned. "I didn't get much sleep this weekend, so I guess I *am* out of it. But I appreciate your concern, I really do. But I'm okay."
Nina wasn't one hundred percent convinced her boss was being truthful, but she chose to let it slide. She knew how hard Mrs. Summers's death and her sister's subsequent move from Sunnydale had been for her. But she accepted Buffy's explanation at face value. "All right. Let me know if you need someone to talk to."
"I will. Thanks for your concern, Nina."
Once her employee returned to the showroom floor, Buffy returned to her thoughts. It was after eleven-thirty in the morning, Angel should be up and awake enough to hold a mature and intelligent conversation. Buffy was aware she was taking a big risk by asking him to father the child she so desperately wanted, but it was a risk she was willing to take. Besides, it wasn't as if he needed to do anything short of supplying her with his DNA.
Picking up the telephone, the blonde started to dial the seven digits written down on the piece of paper he'd given her on Saturday afternoon at the party. Halfway through dialing them, Buffy hung up the receiver. "What the hell am I going to say to him?" she asked aloud. "'Hi, Angel, it's Buffy. I know this is going to sound insane, but I have a question to ask you. Will you be the father of my baby?'" She laughed. "He's going to get a big chuckle out of it and then hang up. Then immediately he'll call the psych ward and have me committed."
She sighed heavily. "What in the world am I doing? I must be out of my mind for even considering this! Just because I have one incredibly erotic dream about making love with Angel, it doesn't necessarily mean he's supposed to be the father of my baby. It's some seriously twisted logic, why am I even entertaining the idea? I really must be crazy."
'Because you want this baby that badly,' a voice reminded her as she sifted through her order forms.
Angel listened to the message Buffy had left for him on his voicemail for the third time. She'd called a little after noon, while he was painting in his studio. Since his return to Sunnydale, he found himself inspired to work on his art more than ever. Of the five paintings he'd completed since Wednesday, four of them were of Buffy. She became his unwitting muse. His feelings for her, which had been festering for the better part of a decade, were beginning to be harder to deny. And when he heard her voice on his voicemail, he nearly jumped into his truck and drove to the gallery right then and there.
"Hi, Angel, it's me. Buffy. You told me on Saturday that if I ever needed anything to give you a call. Well, um, I sorta have this question to ask you that I can't exactly ask you over the telephone. If y-you get a chance, do you think you could stop by the gallery so we can talk in private? I'll be here until at least six-thirty tonight. I guess I'll talk to you later. Bye."
He hadn't gotten the message until nearly three o'clock, having been in a trance with his painting. The message piqued his curiosity, wondering what could possibly be so important that she needed to talk to him in private. Putting on a clean pair of jeans and a gray t-shirt, he grabbed his car keys and headed for the gallery.
It took him ten minutes to drive there, and he sat in his truck for a couple more minutes before entering. Angel wasn't sure if he could handle being in such close proximity to Buffy when the images of his dream Saturday night remained fresh in his mind. But it sounded as if she needed him, and he wouldn't let her down again. Not like he had all those years ago.
When he walked into the gallery, he found only two customers perusing the paintings and sculptures on display. Buffy was nowhere in sight, so he had to wait for one of her employees to come out and tell him where to find her.
"Angel! You're back!" Nina exclaimed, running out of the storage room to his side. She'd been hoping to see the handsome artist ever since their first meeting on Wednesday.
Seeing the blonde art student coming his way, he inwardly groaned. Nina was certainly attractive, but she simply wasn't his type. And she seemed very anxious to go out with him when he was flirting with her. But he had only been flirting with her because it was his nature to do so with a good-looking woman. The truth of the matter was, Angel McCoy only had eyes for one woman Buffy Summers.
"Hi, Nina," he replied, pasting a smile on his lips. "How have you been?"
"Great now. Did you come back to look at some more paintings?" she wanted to know.
"Actually, I'm here to see Buffy about something. She left a message on my voicemail. Is she around anywhere?"
Nina nodded her head. "She's in the storage room taking inventory. I'll go get her for you."
"No need, Nina. I'm right here," her boss said, announcing her presence. She'd heard Nina's squeal of delight upon seeing Angel. So she put down her clipboard, smoothed out her knee-length skirt and walked out onto the showroom floor. But she couldn't push away the jealousy she felt when she saw Angel and Nina together. "Hi, Angel. Thanks for coming."
Angel struggled to keep his breathing as normal as possible. He didn't want Buffy to see him panting like a dog. "Not a problem. I came as soon as I got your message. It sounded rather important."
She nodded. "Yeah, in a way it is. Let's go into my office and talk in private."
He followed her down the narrow hallway to her office, trying his best not to stare at her ass on the way there. It didn't work. Once they were inside, she shut the door behind them. Buffy motioned for Angel to sit, and he waited patiently as she sat in the chair facing him. He wished she would hurry up, his curiosity was killing him.
"I don't quite know how to go about saying this, so I'm just gonna come right out and say it. The last nine months have been really difficult for me, with losing my mom, Riley leaving me for Cordelia and Dawn moving to New York to go to college," Buffy started. "I started to feel like my world was falling apart and I didn't know who I was anymore. In a way, I still don't. It felt like something important was missing from my life. Well, I figured out what it was. A baby. I want a baby."
Angel lifted his eyebrows. "I guess that makes a kind of sense. You want someone to take care of; someone who'll depend on you."
"Exactly!" Buffy smiled to herself. He understood what she was trying to tell him! "And I've looked into every option, from in vitro fertilization to sperm banks and even adoption. None of them were for me, though. I want the baby to be mine, and I want the father to be someone I know and someone I can trust. That's why I called you, Angel. I've been thinking about it and I want you to be the father."
"Me?" he asked incredulously. Buffy wanted to have a baby with him? It had to be a dream. "Buff"
She put up a hand to silence him. "Don't. I know it's way out there, and that my logic is unlike that of our earth logic, but just hear me out before you say no. I want this baby, and I want to take care of it all on my own. Angel, I don't want anything from you, not your money and I do not expect any kind of relationship from you. All I want is your DNA."
He wanted to give her his answer right then and there. But it was a decision he knew required serious time and thought. "It's very...flattering, Buffy, that you want me to be the father. I mean, really flattering. But why me? You must know lots of guys, plenty of whom I'm sure would love to father a child with you. Why not ask one of them?"
"Because I know you won't expect anything from me. You made it fairly clear years ago that you don't want anything to do with me sexually. And you sure as hell don't want a relationship with me. It works out because we both want the same thing from each other. Nothing. You give me this baby and I won't ask you for anything else ever again."
'She doesn't want anything to do with me. She just wants this baby, she doesn't want me,' he thought. "I'll have to think it over. I need time," he told her.
"Of course. Take all the time you need." She stood up and held the office door open for him. "Angel, I appreciate you considering my offer. I really am serious about this."
Angel nodded. "Yeah, I know you are. I'll call you when I've come to a decision."
"Thank you." Once he'd left her line of sight, Buffy sighed with relief. She'd done it; she'd asked Angel to father her child. And he hadn't laughed in her face or turned her down flat the way he had graduation night. It was boding well in her favor, and Buffy had high hopes that he'd agree.
"What's going on with you, Angel?" Willow asked her stepbrother later that evening. She'd invited him over to her apartment to have dinner with her and Tara, and he'd been quiet most of the meal.
He looked up from the piece of chicken he'd been pushing around his plate for the past minute. "Nothing's going on. Why do you ask?"
"You don't seem to be acting like yourself tonight, that's all," she commented. "Don't you think so, Tara?"
Tara shrugged her shoulders. "I-I don't know. You definitely look l-like you have something on your mind. But I don't know you v-very well, so I could be wrong."
Angel hated that Willow could read him like an open book. He'd never been able to keep things from her, though this time he had to. He doubted Buffy wanted him to mention her proposition, and he didn't want to embarrass her. "I was just thinking about some things."
"Would one of those things be a short, blonde gallery owner named Buffy Summers?"
"Why do you assume I'm thinking about Buffy?" Angel questioned innocently.
"Because you have 'Buffy face,'" Willow told him. "I remember it well from high school. Now spill. What's going on between you two?"
He shook his head. "Absolutely nothing. I apologized to her on Saturday like you asked me to, and I even gave her my cell phone number in hopes that she'd give me a call. But she hasn't," he lied.
Willow felt bad for Angel. It was apparent to her that he'd developed a crush on her best friend since returning to Sunnydale, much like the one he'd had most of his teen years. But given his cruel treatment of her five years earlier, she knew Buffy wasn't likely to forgive and forget anytime soon. Much less invite him back into her life. "I hate to say it, Angel, but I wouldn't expect her to welcome you home with open arms. At least not anytime soon. You really hurt her. Don't expect too much too soon. She's been through a lot lately. I'm not just talking about her mom dying and Dawn moving to New York. Buffy's had her heart broken too many times. I don't blame her for being a little leery of you."
"Because of Riley leaving her for Cordelia," Angel assumed.
After taking a bite of her salad, Willow nodded her head while Tara stared at her plate in silence. "How did you know about that?"
"She told me." He didn't add that he heard about it only hours before when Buffy asked him to be the father of her baby. "But she didn't go into the exact specific details of it. I didn't want to ask what happened in case she thought I was prying into her personal life."
"I understand. I'll tell you what happened, Angel, but you have to promise you won't tell her I told you." Willow waited until she had confirmation from her stepbrother. "Okay, after Mrs. Summers died, Buffy really retreated into herself. She stopped coming to the Bronze with us, didn't call...she basically pushed us all away. The only person she really confided in was Dawn. We all told her we understood and that we'd be there if she needed us. But Buffy was insistent on getting through it on her own.
"The only problem was, Riley wanted his girlfriend back. Buffy had cut him off completely; from what she told me they hadn't been intimate with each other at all after her mother died. And I think Riley missed that in their relationship. After a couple months, he told her it was over and dumped her for Cordelia Chase."
Tara frowned. "Buffy didn't deserve that. Especially when they turned on her."
Angel furrowed his brow. "Who turned on her?"
"Xander and Anya and Spike. They said it was her fault. Xan-Xander even told her she d-didn't deserve to b-be loved after th-the way she treated Riley," explained Tara.
'So that's why Buffy stayed away from them on Saturday,' Angel thought. "So you're saying Buffy pretty much believes she drove Riley into Cordelia's arms because she wouldn't sleep with him? And that she thinks she's unlovable?"
"I guess that's an accurate assumption. Tara and I have tried everything we can think of to convince her otherwise, but nothing's working," Willow said.
'I think I know exactly what to do,' Angel said to himself. 'And it'll give Buffy the two things she wants and it'll give me an opportunity to get what I want.'
The wait was damn near killing her. It had been less than twenty-four hours since she asked Angel to help her conceive a baby, but it already felt like a lifetime. She wanted an answer and she wanted it now. In the back of her mind, though, she knew what the answer would be. There was no way Angel would agree to her insane idea. He'd made his feelings for her quite clear years earlier.
"Um, Buffy? Are you busy?" Peggy Newsome, one of her employees, asked her as she stood in the Monet Room.
Buffy turned around. "No, not really. Just trying to think up a new layout for the room. I'm thinking about adding some of the new pieces we acquired this weekend. Why?"
"Well, there's a gorgeous man out front asking for you. Are you seeing someone and not sharing it with the rest of us?"
"I'm not seeing anyone, Peg. I swear," Buffy said. "But now you've got me intrigued."
She followed Peggy out onto the showroom floor, and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Angel watching her every move. The expression on his face was unreadable, but Buffy assumed he wouldn't stop by for no reason. He was there to do one of two things either make her dream come true or tear her heart to pieces. Either way, she found herself anxious for his answer.
"H-Hi, Angel," she stammered. "I'm surprised to see you."
He raised a single eyebrow. "You are?" It didn't escape his attention that she looked like a scared little girl. He wanted to assure her she had nothing to be afraid of, but couldn't with her employees in the room.
From a few feet away, Peggy could feel the electricity between her boss and the good-looking man; the air practically crackled with sexual tension. If this Angel wasn't her boyfriend or her lover, he would be soon enough. Anyone would be better for Buffy than Riley Finn, especially after the hell he put her through.
"Yeah, I am. I wasn't expecting to see you so soon," Buffy answered honestly. "Come on, let's go to my office and talk there."
As he had the day before, Angel allowed Buffy to lead the way to her office. This time, though, neither one of them sat down once the door closed behind them. "I have an answer for you." He let his brown eyes roam appreciatively over her body.
Buffy took a deep breath. "And?"
"And...I want to start out by saying it is definitely flattering to have you consider me for this. It's most certainly a boost for my male ego that you want me to father your child. But I don't want to be someone's sperm donor."
She let the words sink in for a moment. 'Sperm donor! What an asshole!' "Well, then, I'm sorry for wasting your time, Angel. I knew it was a risk asking you, but I had to give it a try. Although I guess I shouldn't be surprised by your cruel reply, given our past history."
He couldn't believe she was flying off the handle the way she was. "Can I be allowed to finish before you throw me out on my ass?" When Buffy waved her hand to give him the go-ahead, Angel continued. "Now, as I was saying, I don't want to be someone's sperm donor. I know too well what that's like, Buffy, since I never even met my real father. Your child deserves better than that. So do you and so do I. Which is why if we're going to have a baby, there are going to be some ground rules. Stipulations, if you will."
"What kind of stipulations?" she asked. 'Am I imagining things, or is Angel actually agreeing to this?'
"Don't worry, I don't want money," Angel responded, having detected the suspicion in her voice. "I have plenty of my own. But my stipulations are non-negotiable. First things first. I want my name to be listed on the birth certificate as the baby's father. That way if something happens to you in the future, god forbid, some stranger won't be raising our child.
"Second, I want two art shows showcasing my work," he continued. "I know you do it for other artists, Willow told me so herself. We can choose the work together, you'll get the final say as to what will be in the show, however. One will take place before the baby is conceived, one after. You know, as a show of good faith."
Buffy listened to Angel's terms. So far, she had no problems meeting them. She'd had every intention of putting his name on the birth certificate, nor did she mind hosting two showings of his work. Despite what she said to him the week prior, Buffy thought he was truly talented. Always had.
"Is that it? Because if it is, we have a deal," she told him.
"Not quite. There's one more thing. I meant what I said before about not wanting to be a sperm donor, Buffy. The idea of sitting in a tiny room watching a porno or reading a dirty magazine while jerking off into a plastic cup simply isn't me. No child of mine is going to be conceived with a turkey baster. No way. If you and I are going to have a baby, it'll be done the old-fashioned way.
She bit her lip and turned away. "The old-fashioned way," she repeated.
"Yeah, the way other people have babies. I'm talking about having sex. We'll have sex with one another until you get pregnant. Those are my terms, take 'em or leave 'em."
Have sex with him; that was a deal-breaker. Angel could live without the art show, he could even do without having his name on their child's birth certificate, mostly because that could be amended at a later date. But he would not simply provide Buffy with his sperm so she could have a baby. Angel wanted to be a part of the conception; he wanted to enjoy every feeling of pleasure and pain throughout the process. He wanted to hear Buffy's every moan and sigh, feel her tiny, perfect body yield beneath him as he brought her to climax over and over again. And when it was all over, Angel wanted to hear her say she still loved him, and then he'd tell her he loved her, too. It was all part of his plan. To make her feel loved. And to gain her love in return. From all that would come their child.
"You want to have sex with me?"
He laughed, touching her shoulder. "I assure you, it won't be as bad as you think. No one's complained so far." 'Not that there have been many women to offer an opinion.'
"No, I'm sure they haven't." She turned back around to face him. 'Angel wants me to have sex with him. Oh my god, can I really do this?' "Fine. We have a deal. Do you have any other stipulations, Angel?"
He shook his head. "No. That's all I want."
"Good. When would you like to start...trying?" 'Oh god oh god oh god,' she said to herself.
"No time like the present."
"Now?" she asked incredulously. "What do you want me to do? Hike up my skirt, drop to the floor and spread my legs for you? Or would you rather screw me on the desk?"
Angel smirked, loving the fire in Buffy's green eyes when she got her dander up. He needed to go home and paint it while it was still fresh in his mind. "Hmm. Tempting as that might be, I'm not sure you want your employees watching us. Particularly Nina, who seems like the jealous type. What I meant by the present is tonight. Unless tonight's not good for you. We can work around your schedule."
"N-No. Tonight's f-fine," she stated. "Say around six-thirty?"
Leaning down, he placed a kiss on her forehead. "I'll be waiting."
When he left the office, Buffy exhaled loudly. "Oh boy," she whispered. "What have I gotten myself into?"
By the time five forty-five rolled around, Buffy was running on pure adrenaline. She blamed it on the anticipation of having sex with Angel that night. As much as she tried to deny it, he was still as sinfully handsome as he had been at the age of nineteen, maybe even moreso. Though she no longer had fuzzy feelings for him, Buffy couldn't help being both nervous and excited at the prospect of conceiving a child with him.
What boggled her mind was that he wanted to father her child the "old-fashioned way" as Angel had put it. Why? They hadn't laid eyes on one another in over five years, she couldn't imagine she changed so much in that time that Angel didn't find her repulsive anymore. As much as she hated to admit it, he was still as sexy as ever; and she found herself looking forward to trying to conceive a child. If she could suspend reality for the duration of their encounters, Buffy might be able to make herself believe he wanted her, that he felt something for her.
Packing up her belongings, Buffy reached for her purse and left her office. "Nina, I'm heading out," she told her remaining employee. "Think you can lock up by yourself?"
"No problem, Buffy. Do you have a hot date or something?" the college student teased.
"Hardly. Just a business meeting." It wasn't really a lie, she *was* technically having a business meeting with Angel given that they'd be discussing his show. But Nina didn't need to know that sex was to be included as part of said meeting.
Nina rolled her eyes. "You know, you should get out more. Find the fun, be young and carefree and all that other stuff. You've become all work and no play Buffy."
"I'll keep that in mind. See you tomorrow morning."
She walked out of the building, shivering from the chill in the mid-September air. September. Buffy couldn't believe it, where had the year gone? It seemed like only yesterday she'd lost her mother instead of nearly a year ago. It just didn't seem possible for it to almost be the holiday season. Time was passing by entirely too fast.
Once inside her Jeep, which used to belong to her mother, Buffy began the slow, ten minute drive to Angel's house. When Willow told her he'd moved down the street from her, the blonde hadn't been too pleased to hear the news. She thought Angel was trying to torment her, especially considering she knew he could afford to live in the nicer section of Sunnydale. Now she was happy to have him living so close; it made their clandestine meetings a lot easier than having to drive across town.
With her heart pounding in her throat, Buffy made her way up the steps to Angel's front door. She nervously pressed the doorbell, wondering if maybe she should have changed out of her white button-down blouse and cornflower blue skirt. Thinking about it, she decided it didn't really make a difference; she doubted she'd be wearing it for too long anyway.
Receiving no answer, she pushed the doorbell again. She heard Angel's voice and then heard the locks being turned. When the door opened, she was greeted with a sight that nearly stopped her heart Angel wearing nothing but a fluffy white towel around his waist and beads of water dripping lazily down his tanned chest. She had to bite her tongue to keep from licking him.
"Come on in," he invited, stepping to the side to let Buffy in the front door.
"I'm early," she stated lamely. 'Duh!'
"Just a little bit. I had just stepped out of the shower when I heard the doorbell ring. I wasn't expecting you so early, dinner's still in the oven."
Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Dinner?"
"Yeah, I figured you'd be hungry after work, so I whipped up some chicken and scalloped potatoes for us to have for dinner. Unless you've already eaten."
"No, I haven't. Thank you."
He smiled at her, clutching the towel so it didn't slip. "No problem. Make yourself at home and I'll change into something more appropriate."
'What you've got on right now is perfect,' Buffy thought. She had to restrain herself from tugging the towel off of him, pushing him against the wall and begging him to do her right there in the front hallway. "All right."
She stood in place and watched appreciatively as Angel climbed the steps to the second floor bathroom. Not sure how long he was going to take, Buffy chose to look around his living room rather than having a seat on the comfy-looking sofa. It did not surprise her that he had impeccable taste in art, with several beautiful landscapes adorning the walls. Above the fireplace, where a fire burned to keep the room toasty from the cool outside air, was a mantle that housed at least five family pictures. She recognized four of the five they were family events that she had been present for. But the fifth one was a photo of Angel and a blonde woman she didn't know. The way they were smiling at one another told her they were definitely a couple. Wanting a closer look, she picked it up.
The young woman in the picture was gorgeous, she couldn't deny that. With straight blonde hair and brown eyes, Buffy could see why Angel had been so attracted to her. In the back of her mind, she wondered if he was seeing the woman the night of her high school graduation; if maybe she was part of the reason he wouldn't sleep with her that night and not because he found her repulsive.
"Her name is Darla," Angel said, creeping up behind her. When he walked down the stairs and saw her holding the picture, he couldn't resist sneaking up on her.
Buffy nearly dropped the picture like a hot potato. "Sorry," she apologized, putting the framed picture back on the mantle. "I didn't mean to be nosy."
"It's okay. I have nothing to hide." 'Except for the pictures of you in my studio. God, if you saw those you'd think I was some kind of freaky stalker. No, that's not good at all,' Angel thought. "She's a friend of mine. Or used to be."
"Ex-girlfriend?"
"Yeah, kinda." He didn't bother to mention that when he returned to Los Angeles the day after her graduation, Angel called Darla and lost his virginity to her that very day. It wasn't his proudest moment, but he couldn't hurt Buffy by making love with her and leaving the next morning. But with Darla, he could pretend. "Dinner should be done, if you're hungry."
She nodded. "I am."
"Go have a seat in the dining room and I'll bring it in for us."
Buffy wiped her mouth and placed the dirty napkin on her plate. She had to give Angel credit where credit was due the man could certainly cook. After two helpings of scalloped potatoes and three pieces of chicken, she was stuffed. "Dinner was great, Angel. I never would have thought you could cook so well."
"You learn a lot living on your own. One of the first things I learned how to do was boil water."
"I've barely mastered that. Dawn and I lived off of take-out before she left for New York."
When Angel didn't respond, an uncomfortable silence fell over them. Buffy didn't want to broach the subject of sex, so she searched her mind for something they could talk about. "I really like your ideas for the show. I can get started on promoting it when I get into work tomorrow morning. And if you want to drop off some snapshots of your paintings, I could probably have everything ready in two weeks. I'm looking at September thirtieth as a possible date to hold it on. If you're okay with that, of course."
"Sounds fine." He knew she was grasping at straws for something to discuss. Angel assumed Buffy was just as nervous as him about the prospect of having sex, but he was determined not to let her see it.
"So, um..."
He wanted to laugh at her for being so apprehensive. "You don't have to do this, Buffy."
"Do what?"
"Try to make feeble conversation with me," he told her. "It's not necessary. We both know why we're here, there's no point in tiptoeing around the subject. You came to make a baby, simple as that."
She nodded her head. "Yeah, I did. I'll admit, though, I expected we'd get started right away, not enjoy a well-prepared meal first. You've thrown my whole night off."
Angel stood up and held his hand out to help her out of her chair. "My mother raised me to be a gentleman. I've tried to live up to her expectations." He looked her dead in the eye as she got out of her chair. "Not to mention, I didn't want you thinking about food while we're doing it."
The moment their eyes met, Buffy felt a surge of lust course through her body. She wanted him inside her so bad she could taste it. "I don't think you have to worry about that. Food is the last thing on my mind right now."
"Good."
"But I have a question I need you to answer for me before we do anything."
"What's that?" Angel wanted to know.
"Why? Why is it that all of a sudden you want me in your bed when five years ago the mere thought of it disgusted you?" she questioned. "It's been on my mind all day long. And don't say it's because you wanted to do it the old-fashioned way."
He dropped his forehead to hers, his lips only inches from hers. "Maybe I like you. Maybe I was stupid all those years ago for not making love to you when I had the chance. Maybe I find myself very attracted to you now. Or maybe I just want to know what it feels like to be buried inside of you."
Buffy pushed him away, her lust for him finally reaching the breaking point. "Sit down and you'll find out."
Doing as she requested, Angel backed up and sat himself on the chair he'd abandoned only a minute earlier. He could feel himself harden, pressing against the constricting denim material of his jeans. When he started to unbutton his jeans, Buffy straddled him and slapped his hands away.
"I'll do it."
Angel sat there and let her do what she wanted to do; he didn't care if she set his skin on fire and licked the flames with her tongue. He was all hers. Buffy was about to make his dreams a reality, and she didn't even know it. He let out a sigh when she ran her hands along the bulge of his pants and his eyes closed. If she continued to tease him, he knew he wouldn't last very long.
With trembling hands, Buffy fumbled with the belt buckle before ripping it from its loops. Next she struggled with the button and then his fly. But she was determined to do it without his help, no matter how nervous she was. After all, she was a twenty-three year old woman who'd had sex plenty of times before, she didn't need any help undressing a man. Though being close to Angel always left her unsure of herself, even in doing the most mundane of tasks.
When his erection popped out of his pants the moment she unzipped his fly, Buffy's eyes widened. "No boxers?" she asked.
"I pretty much figured it would be easier without them," he answered. "Why? Disappointed?"
"Not at all. It *does* make it easier."
Pushing the hem of her skirt up to her waist, Buffy moved her panties to the side and slid herself down onto him without prelude. Angel watched as his cock disappeared inside her and felt her exquisite tightness envelop him inch by glorious inch. She was heaven, and he had to keep himself from coming the moment he was fully seated inside. Feeling her wrapped around him was better than any wet dream he'd had about her over the last decade.
They hadn't even moved and Buffy was already out of breath. It had never been so exciting before, just being there with her lover immediately after becoming one. Sex with Riley had always been enjoyable, but he'd never been one to simply savor those first few moments of lovemaking, the moment that their two bodies melded into one. Being with Angel already felt different, not just in size but in the intensity of emotion. She felt like she was going to burst from happiness, excitement, lust and most of all control. Angel had let her take the lead, Riley never did that. She and Angel had hardly begun and she couldn't wait to do it again.
Tentatively she began to move, placing her hands on his broad shoulders for leverage. They didn't say a word to one another, they touched their foreheads and set about their lovemaking in silence. The only noises that could be heard were the sounds of the occasional moan and the creaking of the chair. Angel's hands made their way to her hips and he pushed her down harder onto him, thrusting his hips slightly.
He moved one of his hands to where their bodies met, and he traced a circle around the tiny bundle of nerves. Hearing Buffy's breath hitch at the slight sensations his teasing caused her, Angel tore the underwear from her body and slammed her down as hard as he could without hurting her. Buffy cried out for release, feeling so close and yet so far away from it. Feeling his own climax coming, Angel rubbed her clit between his thumb and pointer finger roughly to stimulate her.
Within moments Buffy fell over the edge of her most intense orgasm of her life. Her walls clenching around his member, he slammed her down on him one last time before spiraling into the abyss of pleasure along with her. Once the tremors subsided, Angel held her to him even as he began to slide out of her body. It was then that he realized he'd never love another woman half as much as he loved Buffy Summers.
Buffy picked up the telephone and dialed her father's phone number in Los Angeles. Mr. Summers had left a message on her machine while she'd been at Angel's house. She felt guilty for not being home when he called, but she knew it had been for the greater good. They were busy trying to make a baby. Twice.
Never in her twenty-three years had Buffy felt so fulfilled as she did after having left Angel's house. Sex with Riley never felt so good and she'd never felt so complete. Angel filled her, completed her in a way she didn't think was possible. She was left with a feeling of wholeness she couldn't put into words, and found herself counting the hours until their next attempt at conceiving a child. Buffy knew she'd made the right decision in asking Angel to be the father. It was going to work, it would just take some time.
"Hi, Dad," Buffy said when her father answered the telephone on the third ring.
"Buffy," he responded. "I didn't expect you to call me back tonight. It's nearly nine o'clock."
"I didn't wake you, did I?"
Mr. Summers chuckled. "Hardly, sweetie. I've got at least another two hours worth of work left to finish before I can go to sleep. Are you just getting home from the gallery?"
"No, I was having dinner with an old friend. Angel McCoy. I'm having a showing of his work at the gallery in two weeks. We were going over some of the specifics of the showing over dinner."
"Sounds interesting. Angel McCoy you said? Isn't he Willow's brother? The little boy you used to be head over heels for?"
"He's not so little anymore, Dad." 'Oh no. He's big in all the right places.' Just thinking about their activities earlier that evening made Buffy blush. Angel had skills; his mouth needed to be classified as a lethal weapon.
"I imagine he's not. You said he's an artist. He must be a pretty damn good one if you want to host a showing. I know how picky you are about that. Much like your mother was."
She sighed. "You're right, I am picky. Angel's very talented and his work shows a great deal of promise. Plus, he's helping me out with some things so I wanted to return the favor."
"Well, that's very nice of you. Not to change the subject, but have you spoken to Dawn lately?"
"About a week ago. She loves school but hates the New York weather. Apparently it rains over there entirely too much for her liking."
Once again her father laughed. "That's my Dawn. A tried and true California girl. So much like her parents and her big sister. I was talking to her the other day and she mentioned a young man named Jason. I'm assuming he's a boyfriend?"
Buffy nodded her head, forgetting that her father couldn't see her. "Yeah, that's what she tells me. They went to a movie and had a few dinners together. From the way she was talking, it sounds like she really likes him."
"Good for her. And is there anyone special in your life, Buffy?" her father wanted to know.
She scoffed. "Hardly, Dad. I don't have time for a relationship, nor do I want one. After what I went through with Riley, dating someone is the last thing I need. No thank you."
"Maybe you just haven't met the right guy to make you forget about Riley."
Buffy thought back to the time she spent with Angel that evening. Not once did her thoughts wander to Riley Finn. For those three hours she was able to forget how much her ex-boyfriend had hurt her. "I'm not worried about it. I'm happy with my life the way it is right now."
Her heart fluttered in her chest when she saw Angel standing in front of her office window. He tapped on the glass with the tip of his finger, sporting the sexiest smile she'd ever seen on his lips. Buffy tried to give him a professional smile, but her happiness to see him seemed to shine through instead. Why did he have to look so damn good in his jeans and black t-shirt? It was only going to make it harder for her to concentrate.
She reached over and opened the door for him. "Hello, Angel," she said once the door closed behind them. "I'm surprised to see you here so early."
"Early?" Angel repeated, his brown eyes wide. "It's twelve-fifteen, Buffy. I've been up for hours." He didn't want to tell her he hadn't slept more than two hours the night before. Angel kept reminiscing about how wonderful it felt to have her wrapped around him and hearing her mewls of pleasure.
"I didn't realize you were such an early riser. Did you bring the pictures?"
He nodded, handing her the photographs of the paintings he wanted to submit for his showing. He'd spent most of the morning choosing the works carefully. There were dozens of pictures he wanted to submit, but he had to remind himself that they were of Buffy, who probably wouldn't appreciate it. Angel wasn't quite ready to fill her in on his obsession with drawing her.
Buffy looked at each of the polaroids Angel had handed her. The paintings were beautiful. No two were alike, but she couldn't help noticing a trend. In several of them was a faceless woman with honey-blonde hair wrapped in the arms of her lover. Even without a face, Buffy could see how lovely she was. He had painted her with such love. In the back of her mind, she wondered if the woman was Darla, the beautiful woman in the picture she'd seen above the fireplace at Angel's house.
Angel saw the way she was looking at his series. "Those are my Lovers," he told her.
"Huh? Your what?" His statement caught her off-guard.
"It's my series, I've called it The Lovers. I'm chronicling their relationship over the course of ten paintings, at least it's ten so far. There's more to come. They started out as children, then teenagers. See that last one?" He pointed to the photo of his lovers in front of a fire, naked in each others' arms. "That's my latest installment called Bliss. They're basking in the glow of having made love."
She nodded. "I love it. It tells a story and each painting is a different chapter. Hmm..." Buffy bit her lower lip. "We can hang them in the Monet Room. They deserve to be by themselves, separated from the rest of your work."
"I like that idea." The paintings were of them and Angel wondered if Buffy suspected.
Just as she was about to say something, Peggy came to the office door. "Sorry for interrupting you, Buffy," she apologized when her boss opened the door. "It's twelve-thirty and I'm heading out for lunch. Are you coming?"
Every afternoon she and Peggy closed the gallery for half an hour and ate lunch at the Expresso Pump down the street. "I don't think so, Peggy. I've still got a little more work to do, and Angel and I are ironing out some things for his show at the end of the month. Would you mind terribly if I skipped today's lunch?"
"Not a problem. I'll bring you back a turkey sandwich. Would you like anything, Mr. McCoy?" Peggy asked.
"You don't have to go to any trouble."
"We have a tab there, Angel," Buffy said. "Get whatever you want, it's on me."
Angel considered it for a moment. "How about a ham and swiss on rye?"
"You got it. See you guys in a little bit. Don't work too hard."
Once he heard the door close and knew they were safe from interruptions, Angel brought his hands to Buffy's shoulders. "So, exactly how long of a lunch does Peggy get?"
"Half an hour. Why, are you hungry?" she questioned.
Angel smirked. "Not for food, no."
Buffy turned her head around to gaze at him. The look in his brown eyes gave her the answer to the question she had not yet asked. "You want to have sex right now?" she asked incredulously.
"I believe you mentioned something about doing it on the desk yesterday. Feeling up to giving it a try today?"
She got out of her chair. "I think the question is whether or not *you're* up to it."
"I'm definitely up to it." He slipped his hands down to her waist and pushed down the zipper of her black skirt. Once it was fully unzipped, Angel pushed it from her hips and let it fall the floor.
Taking a cue from him, Buffy followed in suit by unbuttoning his jeans and shoving them down his lean hips when the offending material gave way. Unlike the day before, Angel wore a pair of black boxer shorts, which were tented around his straining erection. While she slid her left hand inside to massage it, his hands busied themselves by unbuttoning the red blouse she wore. He slid it off, draping it over the back of her chair.
The feeling of her hand caressing his cock was slowly driving him to the brink. Angel needed to keep his mind off it, so he unfastened the black lace bra Buffy wore and ran the pads of his thumbs over her nipples, fondling the breasts with the palms of his hands. They hardened almost instantly at his touch and he lowered his lips to her neck, sucking gently on the soft flesh. He was so close he could feel it. Swatting her hand away from his erect member, he pushed the bra down her arms, dropped to his knees and yanked the panties down her legs.
Smiling wickedly, Angel ran his hands up and down her long legs. She was so perfect, so special, so his. He wanted Buffy in every imaginable way, even if he had to use her desire for a child to get what he wanted. Hooking one of her legs over his shoulder, he thrust his face to her center, attacking her clit with his lips, tongue and teeth. At first Buffy cried out, having never experienced what Angel was doing to her. In the four years she spent with Riley, he never attempted such a thing. But once she felt the sensations make their way through her body, she held his head in place. It felt so good she never wanted him to stop.
Her orgasm crashed over her as soon as Angel's teeth bit down on her over-sensitized nubbin. She cried out his name half a dozen times, begging him to keep doing what he was doing. The tremors caused her knees to buckle, falling into her lover's waiting arms. He grinned as she stared at him with lust-filled eyes.
"How was that?" he asked.
"Amazing," she managed to spit out after a moment of trying to catch her breath. "Not that I'm complaining or anything, but that's not gonna help me get pregnant."
Angel lifted his t-shirt over his head and stood up, holding his hand out for Buffy to stand as well. He removed his boxers and pushed the papers from one side of the desk to the other. "Don't worry, it's all part of my plan."
He hoisted the tiny blonde onto the corner of her desk and slid himself into her with the ease of a man who'd been doing it his entire life. Reaching down, Angel wrapped her legs around his waist and began thrusting into her with firm thrusts. He wanted to get the most out of the half-hour they had. His hands held her securely to the desk so that she didn't slide along the metal surface each time he thrust into her. Angel's lips skimmed the hollow of her throat before finding her pulse point and nibbling on it with blunt teeth.
Buffy threw her head back, every one of his thrusts aimed to put pressure on her clit with the base of his erection. She'd always known Angel would make a good lover, but she had no idea just how good. It was as if he innately knew exactly what she wanted and needed. Tangling her fingers in his spiky brown hair, she urged him onward.
Angel was coming and he was coming fast. With ten minutes left before Peggy's lunch was due to be over, he decided it would be best to finish so that they had time to freshen up before the employee got back. Moving his hand from her hip, he slowly began to build Buffy's peak until she begged him for release. Taking pity on both of them, he squeezed her bundle of nerves until she screamed, toppling over the edge of her climax. Several moments later he followed her into oblivion.
"Wanna try again tonight?" Angel asked her, moving a strand of wet hair out of her eyes.
She nodded. "Definitely."
When Peggy returned to the gallery eight minutes later, she found the two still looking over photos of his paintings, never suspecting the two had had sex only fifteen minutes earlier in the exact spot where she placed their sandwiches.
The next two weeks passed by quickly for Buffy. Between her work at the gallery, getting things set up for Angel's art show on the thirtieth, and trying to get pregnant, the days seemed to fly by. Before she realized it, the twenty-ninth was upon her.
Sitting at her desk going over her bills for the end of the month, Buffy's hand flew to the calendar on the wall. She counted the days and widened her eyes. Forty days. It had been forty days since the final day of her last period; she was supposed to have gotten it well over a week ago, and with all the excitement in her life over the past few weeks, she completely forgot about it.
She wanted to chalk it up to stress, even to a changing menstrual cycle, though she doubted either one of them were true. There was a good chance she might be pregnant. The mere thought of it blew her mind. Pregnant already. After only two-and-a-half weeks of trying, she and Angel managed to possibly conceive a child. She expected it to take months of trying, not weeks.
Laughing, Buffy shook her head. "Oh my god, what am I getting so excited about? I don't even know for sure that I *am* pregnant. Can you even know when you're two weeks along? It's not for lack of trying, but still...there haven't been any signs. So I'm a little late this month. Okay, a lot late. I shouldn't get my hopes up so quickly. It could be a fluke."
Making a mental note, she decided to stop by the drugstore on the way home to purchase a pregnancy test. Just in case.
She worked through the morning, trying to keep her mind focused on the task at hand. It certainly wasn't easy not to think about the possibility of being pregnant. But she was doing her best, at least until Angel arrived at the gallery a little before three with his paintings.
"How many paintings does he have?" Peggy asked Buffy as they watched Angel carry in painting after painting into the storage room.
"About forty-five or so."
Peggy smiled with appreciation as Angel walked by in his jeans and white wife-beater. "Look at the muscles on him. Oh my, what I wouldn't give to feel those big strong arms around me every night. He must be quite a tomcat in the sack."
Buffy blushed when she heard Peggy's comment. She had to admit, Angel was definitely a skilled lover. But she wasn't about to tell her employee that. "Peggy!" she exclaimed. "I can't believe you said that!"
"What? I may be forty-five and happily married with three kids, but I'm not dead, Buffy. I have two perfectly good eyes, and my eyes happen to like that boy very much."
The two women started laughing, and Angel gave them a funny look when he passed by them carrying another one of his paintings. "Um, am I missing something funny?" he asked them.
Buffy shook her head. "It's nothing. Do you need any help, Angel?"
"I'm fine." He winked at her. Over the past several weeks he'd enjoyed spending time with Buffy, even if they were only talking. He felt like they were beginning to build a foundation for something important, and he wished he knew whether or not she felt the same way. "Besides, I've only got a few more to bring in. Thanks for the offer, though."
The two women walked out to the showroom floor, where Peggy grinned at Buffy. "Did you see him winking at you? Angel was definitely flirting with you, I hope you know that."
"Angel's a born flirt. It doesn't mean anything, Peggy."
But Peggy disagreed. "No, it does mean something. You're a beautiful young woman and he's a *very* good-looking man. Not to mention he's nice, considerate and a bunch of other adjectives I can't use in mixed company. I don't know why you don't just go for it."
"It's not like that with me and Angel. We're old friends, not to mention he's my best friend's stepbrother. There's a conflict of interest."
"It doesn't look like he sees it that way at all. The look he was giving you, that wink...take it from me, he doesn't see you as his sister's best friend."
'If only that were true,' she thought. 'Oh my god, where did that come from?' "Forget it, Peggy. Any chance Angel and I had of being a couple was blown years ago."
Peggy raised her eyebrows. "Ooh. Am I missing something interesting? Do tell."
"There's nothing to tell. I had a crush on him in high school but he didn't see me the same way I saw him," Buffy explained. "He thought I was Willow's dorky best friend."
"Not anymore he doesn't."
Buffy studied the portrait of Bliss as it rested against the wall in the storage room. It was breathtaking; she couldn't tear her eyes away from it. There was something about the lovers she couldn't put her fingers on, something familiar about them but she found herself unable to explain it.
"You've been staring at the piece for the last five minutes," Angel pointed out when he carried the last painting in from his truck. "Is there something you want to share with me?"
"It's just...it's so beautiful. And it's not just the artwork. You can feel the emotion radiate off the canvas, as if you are there, a fly on the wall during what could easily be described as one of the most intimate moments of their lives."
Angel nodded. "That was my goal."
"Where did you come up with the idea for it?" she wanted to know.
"From a dream I had."
"Must have been some dream," Buffy laughed. "See, looking at it, one would think it really happened. I know I did."
"Sorry," Angel apologized. "Can't say I ever made love to someone in front of a roaring fire. My old apartment in L.A. didn't have a fireplace."
"Is that why you bought your house on Revello? So you'd have a fireplace to make your dream a reality?" she teased.
"You know, the thought never crossed my mind until just now."
Angel took three steps forward, pressing himself against Buffy's back. He felt her stiffen the moment their skin made contact and heard her moan as his lips touched the bare skin of her exposed neck. From the moment he walked into the room and saw her staring at Bliss the painting he'd drawn of them from one of his fantasies Angel knew he'd die if he didn't have her. In the short time they'd been trying to conceive a child, Buffy became his drug of choice. He feared the day she would inform him of her pregnancy because it would mean the end. Angel never wanted it to end.
"Angel..." Buffy groaned when his hands slipped inside her shirt to fondle her breasts through her white lace bra. "We can't...we shouldn't be doing this."
"We've been doing this for weeks," he reminded her. "The baby, remember?"
She nodded, both loving and hating the desire she felt for him. "No, I know that. I mean we can't do it now. Peggy might walk in on us."
"She's a grown woman, Buffy. I'm sure she's had sex before and knows what happens during it."
"I don't want her walking in on us."
He smirked against her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of Buffy's perfume. She was going to drive him wild, he just knew it. "Not an exhibitionist, huh?"
"Not even close."
"All right." Angel begrudgingly backed away from her. "I hope you know I'm going to be in pain until tonight when I see you," he stated. "My place or yours?"
Buffy turned around to face him. "I can't tonight, Angel. I'm sorry. I promised Willow and Tara I'd go to the Bronze with them tonight. We haven't hung out since the day of your Welcome Home party. Tonight we're playing catch up."
"Oh." He tried his best to hide his disappointment. It was definitely going to be a difficult forty-eight hours for him; he knew they'd both be too busy with the show tomorrow to have another rendezvous. "Guess the baby-making is going on hold for a few days."
'Possibly permanently,' Buffy said silently. "Yeah, I guess." She turned back to the painting and was overcome with lust. She couldn't let the opportunity pass her by. Two days without being with him? Buffy didn't know if she could handle it. "Fuck it." Grabbing Angel's hands, she dragged him to the floor, not caring if Peggy happened upon them. No way could she wait another minute for Angel to be inside of her.
"Hey, guys," Buffy greeted when she reached the table where Willow and Tara were sitting. The Bronze was unusually crowded for a Thursday night and she was grateful her friends had found a table for them to sit at. Buffy felt exhausted after preparing things for the show the following evening.
"Hi, Buffy," replied Willow, smiling at her best friend as she sat down. "I'm surprised you came tonight. Tara and I know how busy you are these days."
The blonde shrugged out of her coat. "Yeah, I have been busy, but I really needed a night to veg out and relax with my friends. I hate to say it, but a part of me can't wait for this show to be over."
"T-To tell you the truth, I'm s-surprised you're e-even having the sh-showing for Angel," Tara stammered. "W-Willow told me you two d-don't exactly get along anym-more."
'Oh, we get along wonderfully now,' Buffy thought. 'It's amazing how well two people get along when they're busy screwing each others' brains out.' "Well, we are both much more mature now than we were when we were in high school. Besides, Angel's a talented artist and I'm always on the lookout for new talent. You guys are coming tomorrow night, right?"
Willow nodded her head. "We'll all be there."
"All? Who's 'all'?" Buffy questioned.
"All of us. Me and Tara, Xander and Anya, Spike and Dru. It's Angel's big night, none of us are about to miss it. We want to be there to support him," the redhead stated. "In fact, Xander and Anya are out on the dance floor right now, boogie-ing the night away."
"I see," Buffy responded unenthusiastically. "Well, thanks for the warning."
"I'm sorry," Tara apologized. "They j-just sh-showed up. We had no idea."
Buffy gave her a friendly smile. She knew Tara always meant well. "It's okay. I guess I can ignore them if they say anything."
Her best friend sighed heavily. "I wish you guys would put all this nonsense behind you. I'm sure you can move past it; Xander was just being stupid. So was Anya. Come on, you know what she's like. She doesn't think before she speaks."
She vehemently shook her head. "They were being mean and spiteful, trying to blame me for Riley's inability to deal with my need for time. That's not my fault. So, right now, I don't want to work past it until Xander and Anya and Spike apologize to me. I'm sorry if it takes longer than twenty-four hours to mourn my mother's death. If they had any real human emotions, they'd know that."
The couple decided it would be best to drop the subject. It was apparent to both of them they wouldn't be able to change her mind. Hating the uncomfortable silence that fell over their table, Willow stood up. "Come on, Tara. Let's dance."
Once they left her, Buffy also got out of her chair. It wasn't her idea of fun to sit at an otherwise empty table while her friends were off being coupley. It reminded her of how alone she was. Wanting to be where no one could see her sulk, Buffy climbed the stairs to the second floor, where she'd be able to watch her friends dance.
"You hate it, don't you?" a man's voice whispered in her ear.
She recognized it immediately. The voice was unmistakably Angel's. So were the hands making their way around her waist. "Hate what?" she asked him.
"Not fitting in and being a part of the crowd. Being alone up here while your friends are down there having fun."
"I'm not alone. You're here with me," Buffy reminded him. "Why *are* you here with me?"
Angel nipped tenderly on her earlobe, raising one of his hands to caress her breast. "I'm not one for crowds. Besides, I wasn't about to let this opportunity pass us by."
"What opportunity is that?" She turned to face him but he pressed his hands against her cheeks, forcing her to face forward.
"To show you how exhilarating it can be to have sex in a very public place." In one quick movement, Angel slid his hands down to unzip his pants and push Buffy's thong and skirt out of the way. Before she could protest, he positioned the head of his cock inside her core. "Everything you feel is heightened tenfold when you know your friends could catch you at any given moment. All they have to do is look up and our little secret is public knowledge. Doesn't knowing that just make you want it even more?"
She nodded her head lazily and closed her eyes as she felt him thrust himself firmly inside of her. "Oh god, yes. Angel..." she moaned.
"Keep your eyes open, Buffy," Angel ordered, continuing his shallow thrusting motion. "Watch your friends dance and laugh, having no idea you're up here being fucked twenty feet away from them."
"Mmm..."
He snaked his hand under her skirt and found her clit, quivering and begging to be given attention. With every flick he thrust a little bit harder, listening to the sounds of his willing partner's moans of pleasure. "Feels good, doesn't it? Tell me, Buff, tell me it feels good to be naughty."
Each touch of Angel's skilled fingers on her sensitive bundle of nerves brought her closer to the edge. He was right, it made the act much more pleasurable. "Yes," she whimpered. "Angel, please. I need..."
"Need what?" he prodded.
"To come. Please, let me come. I'm gonna explode any minute."
Taking pity on her, only because he was ready as well, Angel pressed the nubbin hard between his thumb and forefinger. As soon as she fell over the precipice of her climax, he thrust into her as inconspicuously as he could without drawing attention to them. The feeling of her inner walls clenching around his member sent him over only moments later. With a grunt, he shot his seed into her womb.
"Wanna come over later tonight?" he asked, adjusting his pants. "I've got a surprise for you, and we can continue where we left off."
"Uh-huh. I'll be there a little later on."
An hour-and-a-half later, Buffy headed for the exit. She'd tried as best she could to concentrate on what Willow and Tara were discussing, but to no avail. All she could think about was Angel's surprise, and how much she wanted to be with him again. Their quick romp hadn't been nearly enough to quench her need for him. In the back of her mind, she knew things between them were escalating out of control. It wasn't about sex and conceiving a child anymore. Buffy felt herself beginning to fall for him all over again. Things definitely weren't going as she originally planned.
Saying goodnight to Willow and Tara, Buffy made her way out of the club. Before she could reach the door, however, a hand grabbed her elbow and pulled her into a dark corner. "Let go of me or I'll scream bloody murder," she threatened.
"It's loud. I doubt anyone will hear you."
Looking up, Buffy found herself face-to-face with Xander Harris. "Xander. What are you doing?"
"I wanted to talk to you," he told her.
Buffy yanked herself from his grip. "I don't think we have anything to say to each other. Now if you'll excuse me, I have someplace I need to be."
"Let me guess, you have an appointment with Angel for another quickie," Xander guessed. "Did I hit the nail on the head, Buffster?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said sharply, feigning innocence.
"Oh, gimme a break," Xander tossed back. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. I caught your little show up on the balcony. Very discreet. At least until he shoved his hand up your skirt and used your earlobe as a chew toy."
Buffy visibly paled. Her biggest fear had become reality hers and Angel's secret had been found out. "What do you want from me? Are you gonna tell everyone what you saw? Blackmail me, maybe?"
"I just thought you had more sense than to get involved with him, that's all. Look at how he treated you before, you think this time's going to be any different?"
"We're both mature adults."
"Adults I agree with, but I'm not so sure about the mature part. Why would you give up a stable relationship with Riley for god-knows-what with Angel McCoy?" he wanted to know.
She stared him down. "I didn't give up anything with Riley. *He* gave up on me, not the other way around. You're Riley's number one fan, so of course you'd take his side over mine. You make it sound like I chose to end things with Riley. I didn't. He ran off with Cordelia, or are you forgetting that little tidbit of information?"
"You're making a big mistake with Angel."
"It's my body. I can do whatever I want with it. That includes having sex with Angel if I so choose," she stated. "I'm leaving."
"He's only using you, Buffy."
"Maybe I'm the one who's using him," Buffy threw back. "Ever think of that?"
Xander followed her to the door. "He doesn't want you; he doesn't need you. And he sure as hell doesn't love you. You're kidding yourself if you think otherwise!"