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F E A T U R E D F I C O F T H E M O M E N T
INDEX
BRE'S ARCHIVE
AUTHOR'S ARCHIVE
INTERACTIVE
AUTHOR
SITE
 O N L Y T I M E S E R I E S B Y B R E P A R T T H R E E Buffy stared at the brass sign before her, sighing as she read the letters over again. She didn’t want to go up there. She didn’t want to see her doctor. She didn’t want to hear him say that she was most likely going to dream about this man for the rest of her life and there was nothing she could do about. No drugs could help her. No meditating. Nothing. She was scared. Pursing her lips, Buffy clenched her purse a little bit tighter, feeling the hard material dig into her palm. She had been so sure of this that night. Three nights ago. It had taken that long to get an appointment. But that didn’t matter now. She was here now, on her break, and she wasn’t going to back out. Not when she knew she needed this. Seven years it had taken... and now they were back with what Buffy could only describe as a vengeance. “Miss?” Buffy’s head snapped up at the sound of a male voice and she smiled uneasily at the doorman as he held the door open for her. He gave her a gentle one in return and Buffy was grateful. Licking her lips, she proceeded towards the bank of elevators, pushing the little arrow button pointing up. Buffy began chewing on her tongue as the little button glowed and one of the cars dinged its arrival.
“Buffy,” Wesley Wyndham-Pryce said warmly as he stood from his desk. Buffy grinned in return. They met in the middle of the room and hugged briefly before Buffy pulled back. He smiled down at her. “How are you?” “Peachy keen... and you? How’s Lilah?” Buffy asked as she moved to sit in one of the plush chairs that rested before Wesley’s desk. Wesley breathed in deeply before answering as he sat down in his own chair. “Lilah,” he breathed, his brow furrowed as he clasped his hands on the desk. “Lilah is doing... fine. And it would appear that we have some new management coming in... a new boss.” “Oh?” Buffy asked, leaning forward, temporarily pushing her earlier fears and thoughts away as she focused on the other man’s life. “Really? What happened to the last... management?” Wesley frowned. “Well, I suppose management isn’t exactly the best word...” Wesley paused. “It’s a sort of board of a men who control the finances and such. I was unfortunate enough not to start my own practice and so I’m forever stuck with... these men.” Buffy furrowed her brow at his attitude. Something was bothering him. She could tell in his posture. Something he was definitely uncomfortable with. She’d known him long enough to sense it. “Are you okay?” “Hmmm?” Wesley looked up from where he had been sifting through some papers. “Oh, yes. I’m fine... merely thinking. And you... you’re looking wonderful, Buffy.” Buffy looked down, a frown creasing her brow. “Yeah, well, I haven’t been feeling so well, lately.” “Ah, the dreams,” Wesley nodded, opening a small notebook and grabbing a pen from his desk. “I remember you speaking of them a couple of days ago... you requested more medicine, if I’m not mistaken?” Buffy looked up, meeting his eyes. She nodded. “Yeah. More medicine to chase the bad people away,” she joked. Wesley smiled patiently as he looked at her through his thin-wired glasses. “So, do tell me what has been going on in your dreams as of late.” Sighing, Buffy sat back, her eyes fixed on the front of the desk as her mind remembered back to her dream. “Actually, I’m a little embarrassed to say that it was only one dream that had me running back to you.” “Yes?” Buffy nodded. “It was about... well, you know... Angel.” “Oh?” Wesley looked to be contemplating her words as his posture stiffened lightly. “Angel, you say?” “Yeah,” Buffy said, furrowing her brow at his reaction. “I mean, it wasn’t anything big... it was just like the other ones. An exact replica of what happened earlier in the day except he’s there.” “And where were you this time?” Wesley asked, forcing his spine to relax as he moved comfortably into his role as psychiatrist. He watched as Buffy’s cheeks darkened. “I was on a date,” Buffy said, looking down at her hands as they played with the strap to her purse. “With a really nice guy, too.” “Who is this young man you speak of?” “Riley. Riley Finn... okay, dorky name, I know and the guy is kind of a... well, a doof... but he’s nice...” Wesley nodded, scratching the man’s name down as he spoke, “Did everything go well?” “Yeah... everything was great. We ate, he took me home.” “Where did you meet this Mr. Finn?” “On the elevator. He’s my new neighbor and he asked me out and I said yes.” Wesley looked up. “When was the last time you were on a date?” Buffy looked at him in surprise. “At a time not worth mentioning,” she said jokingly and then continued at his pointed look, “A while.” “How long would you say is a while?” “Oh...” Buffy looked up to the ceiling, feigning thinking. She knew exactly when it was. Too long. It couldn’t be helped that the guy - who happened to be a blind date and have long, greasy hair - scared her away from the dating scene, just as he had. “I’d say at least... a couple of months.” Wesley nodded, not needing to prod her further. He assumed that it was longer than that at her stalling. Her body language read clearly that the subject was unpleasant and he could faintly remember her saying she was scared of dating after her encounter with Angel. “You can continue if you’d like,” Wesley said, waving his hand in the air. Buffy was speaking before he could get his last word out. “Well, the next thing I know, I’m waking up... after the dream... feeling... God, feeling sick, Wesley. I don’t understand why he won’t leave me head.” “Well, it’s obvious that it has something to do with your subconscious, Buffy. You are still clinging to your memory of him and you need to find a way to release that part of yourself.” “Okay...” Buffy shook her head. "So... shrink me here, Wes. How do I do that?” “It’s not necessarily about getting help but believing that you can do it.” Buffy looked at him as if he had grown a second head before looking down at the floor, not responding. It was something a kin to deja vu for Buffy. Hadn’t Wesley said that exact thing to her just a couple of years ago. And a whole bunch of good that did. Deciding a subject change was probably the best route, she looked back to her doctor. “The medicine was working, Wesley. It really was. I stopped taking it after a couple of months of repeat dreams and they stopped with it. It was as if I forgot all about him and everything that he did to me.” Wesley paused at her words. “Everything he did?” Buffy shot him a look. “Are you siding with a man that you’ve never met?” she snapped. Wesley initial response was to explain his reasoning before he snapped his own mouth shut. That probably wouldn’t be the best, especially with his current patient. Shaking his head, he didn’t verbally respond as he moved to steer the conversation towards something more suitable, rather than arguing whose side he was on. “Tell me about the dream.” Buffy sighed deeply before resigning herself to her story. “It was one of the major ones. None of that little stuff, like him just saying hi, or something. This was a big one, Wes, and it felt so real...” Buffy closed her eyes, sighing as she opened them once more. “We were at dinner, me and Riley, and I felt like someone was staring at me. I was getting kind of pissed off that someone wouldn’t knock it the hell off so I got up to go to the bathroom.” Buffy sniffled as tears welled in her eyes, but she pushed them away. “I never got up during the real dinner,” she said softly. “So I was in the bathroom and I was telling myself that I was over Angel... thinking that that would actually take care of the bullshit in my head. And then... bam, he was there. Angel. Standing there, looking at me with his dark eyes and he looked... sad. Like he actually felt bad for killing our baby.” Wesley studied her face. “Do you believe that he felt nothing for you or the baby, Buffy?” “Well he had to not have, don’t you think? I mean, dammit! He killed our child! I didn’t even get the chance to see if it was a boy or a girl. I have to call it an it! How can someone normal... a human being, mind you... actually do that?” Wesley didn’t respond and the silence in the room was heavy until Buffy sighed angrily, wiping at a tear as it traced down her cheek. “Well, there we were and he... looked so damn sad! Well, it made me sad and then he touched me... I couldn’t bear to have him touch me...” Buffy closed her eyes. “And then he hugged me. And it felt so... wonderful, to have him touching me again.” Buffy looked down at her fingers. “Then he kissed me... and, well, you know how it goes.” “You engaged in sexual intercourse with Angel in your dreams?” Wesley asked softly and Buffy looked up at him, her eyes wide and shining with unshed tears. She nodded before looking back down. She sighed as Wesley took note of something on his pad of paper. “So...” Buffy breathed in deeply as she blinked away the tears. “What does it mean? I’m crazy, aren’t I?” Buffy laughed uneasily. Wesley smiled gently at her. “No, Buffy. You’re not crazy. It would just appear that you have a hard time letting go of things. I can prescribe you some of the same medicine as last time, if you think that will help. I’m sorry to say that I have a meeting with my colleague to discuss some things in the next fifteen minutes. If I had more time, I would-“ “It’s okay, Wesley. It’s nice to talk to you about this. Willow - you know Willow? My best friend? - well, she isn’t exactly happy with this subject.” Wesley frowned. “Well, she is your best friend, is she not?” Buffy nodded, running a hand across her eyes and her nose as she stood, bringing her purse over her shoulder. “Yeah, but ever since the whole Angel thing, she hasn’t been receptive. It’s this whole big thing where she blames herself for getting me involved with Angel and then not doing anything about it. I really think she hates him.” “Ah,” Wesley said, nodding as he stood as well. “Well, shall I write the prescription for you?” Buffy didn’t hesitate in her response. “Yes. I’d feel much better if you did.” Wesley nodded. “Alright. One moment... do you remember the exact-“ Buffy nodded. “Yeah, I brought the prescription with me. It’s in my purse. I kind of figured that would be a problem considering you wrote the first one so long ago. Hang on...” Shuffling through her purse, she revealed a piece of paper, reaching over to hand it to the tall man before her when his phone switched on. “Mr. Wyndham-Pryce, Mr. Ro-“ Wesley snatched the phone up into his hand, ignoring Buffy’s hand as he brought the phone to his face. “Yes, yes, okay, thank you. That will be all.” Without waiting for a reply from his secretary, Wesley placed the phone back down, turning to Buffy. He smiled at her raised eyebrows and moved to take the paper from her hand. “Now, on to that prescription.” “Wesley, are you-“ Buffy was interrupted as his phone switched on once more and Wesley inwardly cursed his phone for doing it automatically. Then both of them froze as a deep voice echoed in the large room. “Wesley. Don’t mean to bother you but you’re running kind of late. Hurry your ass up and get in here.” Buffy’s hand started shaking almost immediately as his voice echoed in the room and the piece of paper fell from her fingers. Her eyes welled with tears as she stared at the black piece of equipment. “Angel?” she asked, her voice dry and filled with more emotional pain than any woman should have to experience as Wesley watched her closely. “Buffy-“ But she didn’t hear him as she fell to the floor, unconsciousness taking her as darkness enveloped her mind.
“Buffy!” Wesley shouted as he watched the blonde fall to the floor. Moving quicky around his desk, he dodged between the chairs before kneeling next to the petite woman. Training caused for him to reach for her wrist, checking her pulse as he stared at her face. “Buffy?... Buffy?” There was a loud knock on his door and he looked up sharply as the door opened, revealing a tall, black man encased in a tight business suit. His face was amused as he stepped in before immediately turning to alarm at the sight before him. “Wesley, what the hell is going on?” Charles Gunn demanded of the man as he stepped into the room, the open door forgotten. Wesley ignored him. “She fainted, Gunn. I figured that was fairly obvious.” Wesley, without taking his eyes away from Buffy, spoke to Gunn, “There are some smelling salts in my drawer. Please get them.” Gunn nodded, moving to Wesley’s desk, opening the first drawer before closing it, then repeating. “What happened to make her faint?” Wesley shook his head before shrugging. “I was sincerely hoping she wouldn’t find out,” he muttered. Gunn looked up at him. “What? She your mistress or something?” Wesley looked over his shoulder to glare at the younger man. “Most certainly not,” he snapped, turning back to Buffy. “It has something to do with Mr. Roarke.” “The new boss-man?” Gunn asked as he came up behind Wesley, the small bottle in his hands. “What does she have to do with him?” “It’s rather hard to explain,” Wesley grunted before grabbing the smelling salts and weaving them under Buffy’s nose.
Buffy felt the strongest urge to sneeze as consciousness seized her in its grasp, forcing her to open her eyes. Two blurry figures were bent over her. She could dimly hear one of them talking to her, calling her name. Shaking her head, she squeezed her eyes shut. What had happened? Angel... Angel... Angel... Angel... Buffy frowned as the voice echoed in her mind. “What-“ “Oh, thank God, Buffy,” Wesley breathed. “Are you okay? Are you dizzy?” Buffy blinked blankly at the man hovering above her. “Angel?” Wesley moved to speak when someone beat him to it. “Buffy?” Wesley and Gunn’s heads snapped to the door to see their new boss stood a hairbreadth from entering the room. His entire body was taut with increasing tension as his eyes widened. Visible panic seemed to grab him by the lapels of his jacket and he backed out of the room, turning in a daze as he headed towards his office, his pace increasing until a soft slam echoed in the large hall. Gunn turned to look at Wesley oddly, feeling like the odd man out only to see him moving to help the small blonde to her feet. She looked as if she was ready to break in half. “Are you okay?” Buffy looked up towards the man who spoke, someone she had never seen before. She shook her head, turning back to Wesley. Her face crinkled in pain. “Wesley?” Wesley looked down at her pained expression before wrapping his arm around her small shoulders. “Hush, Buffy. I suggest we get you a cab, hmmm?” Buffy shook her head in odd denial as he guided her towards the door, her eyes darting around in the hallway as if looking for someone. Her body was tight with fearful anticipation. She looked like she waiting was for someone to attack her. Gunn shook his head in confusion. He didn’t know what was happening, nor understand any of Wesley’s odd behavior. It felt as if his mind was in a small state of disarray as his boss unconsciously showed them a side he was sure none of them were ever meant to see. Stepping from his office, he watched as he escorted the woman towards the elevators. He then turned his head towards his new boss’ office and saw the blinds move slightly as if resettling into their original position. Shaking his head, he moved towards his own office.
His dark eyes traced their every move as he watched her exit the room. He saw her look back at where she had seen him disappear and he allowed himself to meet her eyes before moving away from the blinds, blocking her view of him. He waited exactly three seconds before moving back to them. Poking his fingers through the plastic, he let his eyes rove over her body. She was thinner than when he had last seen her, but she still looked beautiful. She had grown into her body. Where there used to be baby fat was now sculpted bones that spoke of her age. She was gorgeous and she was no less tanned than she had been when he had first met her. Compared to him, she was a goddess. His pale complexion was all that was left of the days where he would walk around, golden as he could get. There were constant dark circles under his eyes. But he never allowed himself to sleep. It meant reliving things he would prefer to keep in the past. Things he wished he could take back and then a split second later realize that it was for the best. Seeing her... here, in reality, her body not shapely with their child, nor carrying any extra fat the pregnancy might have given her. Her breasts were firm and looked as if they could still fit in the palm of his hand. She wasn’t pregnant. She wasn’t carrying their child. She didn’t have a child. Because of him. Closing his eyes, Angel turned away from the window as Buffy entered the elevator and Charles Gunn turned to look at him. Retreating into the dark office, he looked around before collapsing into one of the plush couches in the far corner of the large room. He couldn’t believe she was there. Why was she there? Wesley was her psychiatrist? How could he not know? Wasn’t he the boss around here? Shouldn’t he know these things. Groaning, Angel leaned forward, burrowing his face into his hands as he realized that he had seen the one woman he had ever had actual feelings for... no, scratch that... she was a girl at the time. She hadn’t even been legal and he had gotten her pregnant, made her get rid of it and abandoned her, all in the space of a couple of weeks. What should have been a happy high school experience was trashed by his callous use of her. Angel felt like he was going to be sick. Sighing as he let his hands fall between his legs, he stared at the floor before his eyes drifted towards his ring finger on his left hand. It was empty at the moment, but soon it would be carrying around a nice silver wedding band that would surely cost a pretty penny. He was going to be getting married in a month. His fiancee was pregnant, although it hadn’t yet been confirmed by a doctor. She had told him a month ago. It had been one of the main reasons he had asked her to marry him. She was carrying around his child while the shell of what had once been a thriving girl had just walked out of his offices, looking as if the weight of world was on her shoulders. What had he done? What had made him do what he had done so long ago? Why was he such a stupid fucking bastard? How could he hurt her? How could he hurt anyone like her? Angel wanted to say that it wasn’t possible but the evidence had just walked right before his eyes. And now he was going to marry a woman he had only known for six and a half months because she was supposedly pregnant with his child. Angel felt like emptying his stomach right there on the floor.
l be kind, rewind l back to top l
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