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Angel: The Series > AtS - Future
Uninvited by claudia6913
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Title: Uninvited
Author: claudia6913
Pairing: Spike/Dawn
Rating:PG-13
Summary: Post "Not Fade Away.” What do you do when you love someone enough to let go?
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters because if I did this would not have been able to be shown on the WB. More like the Spice channel or something. *heh*
Distribution: , Vampyre Haven, My LJ.

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"How could you not tell me?” Dawn asked, not looking at him. She couldn't look at Spike not after...not after finding out what she had. 'How could he make this decision without me?’ She wondered.

Dawn wasn't sure what hurt her more, the fact that he hadn't told her about the offer, or the fact that he had turned it down. Spike hadn't even talked to her about it to see what her feelings on the matter were. Who knows what the end result would have been? Now, though, they would never know.

"I told you why I did it," Spike said, trying not to get upset. He didn't understand why she wasn't happy, or at the very least, not upset by it. His reasons were valid and sound. It wasn't as if it was spur of the moment either. Spike'd had a good long while to think about it, from every angle, and his decision made sense, or at least he thought it did. Apparently, Dawn had another view.

They had been together almost two years now. They lived together, slept together...they did everything together. They loved each other and that was the way things were supposed to be. Moreover, they were happy, or at least Spike thought they were happy. Now, he wasn't so sure. It wasn't as if anything had changed, on the contrary, him turning down the offer meant that things stayed the same.

"And I'm what, supposed to just smile and kiss you and make believe that I have no investment into you? Or what happens to you?” Dawn asked, turning stormy, angry eyes to him. She was working up a fury; Spike could see it starting. He knew that look, had learned to fear that look, but tonight...well tonight, he would stand his ground.

"That's not it and you bloody well know it," Spike said. He needed a cigarette, wanted one so badly he could taste it, but Dawn didn't let him smoke in the house. Getting up from the table, he walked over to the door. Her voice interrupted his movement.

"If you leave Spike, you're not coming back in," Dawn said, her voice thick with unshed tears. This was harsh, she knew, but he needed to understand where it was she was coming from, and if this was the only way...well, then it would truly be a test of their love.

Spike stood their, immobile. He didn't know what to say, what to do. He could smell the salt of her tears on the air and something inside of him broke. She was giving him an ultimatum. Either he agreed with her and did what she wanted or he was banished from her life.

"You don't mean that," Spike said, turning to look at her. She couldn't mean that. Nevertheless, there, in the straight line of her back, the set of her lips, he could see she meant every word.

"If you leave for any other reason than to take that offer, I'll use the uninvite spell Willow gave me. You'll not be allowed back in," Dawn said. She choked back tears and sobs, needing to show him she meant it.

"You can't be serious, Luv. I've told you. I can't take that offer. I can't sodding protect you if I'm human."

"I don't need a damn protector, Spike. I don't need someone to make sure that no one decides to cut me up and make me into portal soup. We've covered that already. I can't do it anymore. I'm...I'm not the key anymore, Spike. And I'm not a little girl anymore either. If the only reason your with me is to protect me, then you can just get the hell out of my house."

Dawn had stood up during that tirade, her arms crossed, and tears shining in her eyes. She watched Spike. She watched as the muscle in his jaw twitched. Dawn saw him seesaw between staying and going. Her heart broke a bit to think that it wasn't an immediate decision for him to stay; it hurt and pained her to know that he actually had to stand there and think about it.

"Get out," Dawn said. What was left of her broke. His uncertainty tore her up and left her bleeding on the inside. He'd taken so long...and still he stood there. "Get out now."

Spike sighed, his head hanging. "You know, I think they put a bit too much of the Slayer in you," Spike said. His hand twisted the door knob, opened the door and still he didn't leave. She would do it, he knew. Nevertheless, he was right. There were things that could harm her, that could make her bleed, with or without a portal opening up. Blood is blood and once it's gone that's it. She didn't understand that it wasn't because she was the key, it had nothing to do with portals, or magick, or whatever else she thought it was about. He wanted to protect her because he loved her, loved her more than he ever thought he could, or would. That was why he had to do this, he realized as he walked out of the door, closing it behind him.

As soon as the click of the door sounded, Dawn knew she would never be able to get that sound out of her head. It echoed in her mind repeatedly. So final, it sounded. It took a few moments for it to actually register that Spike had walked through that door and out of their home, out of her life. When it finally did register, Dawn let the tears fall in hard, heartbroken sobs.

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Title: Uninvited - The Absense of Everything
Author: claudia6913
Pairing: Spike/Dawn
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The Spell
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The tears seemed like they would never end, that they would go on forever and ever and she would drown in them. Dawn almost wished she would. Maybe that would ease the ache in her chest maybe that would take away the pain.

When the tears finally did stop and the pain dulled to numbness, Dawn calmly got up and got the uninvite spell, setting everything out on the dinning room table. She could still see the endless strings of nights and days where she would walk to it and have dinner with Spike. Be it a quiet evening in, or dinner with friends, or even just a special breakfast he would make for her, she saw it all. It was like an endless parade of memories, each overlapping the other so they blended in. Somehow, even seeing herself laying everything out for the spell seemed to fit…as if it had happened before. Nevertheless, she knew it hadn’t.

Willow had given Dawn the uninvite spell along with the ingredients years ago when they first got their house. It was an emergency spell, just in case Angelus made a surprise visit. It was, however, still a possibility, no matter how hard Willow tried to find a cure for Angel. Dawn had never thought for a minute that they would need it. After a while, it had turned into a joke between her and Spike. A sort of threat if he ever got out of line, all she’d have to do is do the spell and he’d have to beg to be invited back in.

How trivial that all seemed to her now. Now that she actually had to use the spell.

Spike didn’t get it. She didn’t understand why though. What was so hard for him to understand? It wasn’t just him going from being a vampire to human. It wasn’t just that she wanted to live a normal life, though that was part and parcel…but she wanted…she wanted a part of him, a part of them. She wanted a child. And not just any child, she wanted his child.

They had discussed it before. Not really in-depth, more of a ‘what if’, but still they had talked about it. Spike had originally suggested that they try a donor, but Dawn didn’t want a piece of someone else. She wanted a piece of Spike; she wanted a life wrought from his being, from their love. It wasn’t a difficult concept. But, apparently, he just didn’t get it.

So, here she was alone, working a spell that would guarantee Spike would never again be able to walk back into her life.

It shouldn’t have come to that. But, Spike had made his choice, and he had not chosen her.

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Title: Uninvited - To Shanshu in London
Author: claudia6913
Pairing: Spike/Dawn
Rating: R
Summary: Spike's offer. Does it still exist?

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You couldn't trust a prophecy. You just couldn't, not even the ones written in stone. They were always filled with vague, hinted-at meanings and allusions meant to read prettily. Nothing was ever specified, nothing was ever clear, and nothing was ever a certainty. Moreover, Dawn knew this. Or, at least, Spike thought she did.

Spike had a good idea where Dawn found out about the little 'offer'. The Watcher's Council always made vampire prophecies big news. Nevertheless, Spike had thought that after Angel had signed away his chance at being human, that the prophecy wouldn't be fulfilled and therefore meant absolutely nothing. Besides, redemption, that kind of redemption, was never his thing. He hadn't been cursed. He wasn't a champion for the Powers that Be. He was just a vampire who had been fool enough to go and ask for a soul.

Walking into the night, Spike found a nearby bar and stopped for a drink. He needed somewhere to sit and think somewhere to contemplate what he was going to do. He didn't think Dawn would actually go through with the uninvite spell, she wouldn't do that to him. She loved him, cared for him, as he did her. It was just an idle threat, he thought, just something to scare him off for a few days while she cooled down.

Besides, the deal was done, the offer refused. He couldn't go back and tell them he'd made a mistake, he'd take being human now, thank you very much. It just didn't work that way with the Higher Powers. You didn't get a second chance to make a deal, you didn't just get to decide one day you'd made a mistake and ask for the right to change your mind.

In addition, Spike had refused for her, for himself. London wasn't all roses and fog. There were demons there just as there were everywhere else. What would Dawn do if Spike were to be fatally wounded, bleeding on the ground until he was as good as dust? Would she wish then that he never have become human? Would she cry and curse him for taking the offer?

No, Spike had lived too long as a vampire to just give it up. He was used to the power, the strength. He was used to being immortal.

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Title: Uninvited – Safe as Houses
Author: claudia6913
Pairing: Spike/Dawn
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The spell is done, will Dawn regret it?
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Dawn sat, dry eyed, having cried all she could, and stared at the ingredients for the spell. It all seemed so pointless now, what she did, what she said. It had only been hours, but she felt Spike’s absence like a wound in her side. A deep wound that cut, bled, and didn’t stop…slowly killing her. And to think, it was she that had made the cut.

Looking around, Dawn could think of no place in their house she could go and be truly alone. Everywhere, the ghost of Spike sat, taunting and teasing her, letting her know what she’d done, making her regret it even though she thought she’d made the right decision.

Spike would come back; she knew he would come back. But then what? What would she do? What would she say? It would only take two simple words to break the spell, to let him back in…into her house, into her life. And she wanted him there, needed him there with her. Normally, when she was this upset, Spike would be there with soothing words and soft, gentle hands to ease the pain. He would be there to make her feel better. Dawn missed that already. She missed the sharp blue eyes, the penetrating looks that told her everything he had was for her.

And this is how she repaid him, by shutting him out, tossing him out. For what? A child? A hope and a dream that honestly, she had known from the beginning, really hadn’t been a possibility.

But now it was. It had only been a rumor in the Watcher’s Council, where she now worked. A rumor that Angel had given up his ultimate reward to save the world. He had gained redemption and still he turned it down. However, Angel had turned it down before he had known redemption could truly be his. He was, after all, only one of the two vampires with a soul.

Nevertheless, Spike could’ve taken it, taken the gift that was offered; to be with Dawn complete with breath, and heartbeat, and flowing blood. He could have taken that offer, given her a child, and completed the circle of life with her. Was it too much to ask of him? Too much to think he would do this, for her? How many times had he sworn his love to her? How many times had he told her that everything he was, was for her? Had it all been a lie? Just pretty words spoken in dark rooms where the lies couldn’t be seen in his eyes?

Dawn had spoken those same words as well, though. Sworn herself to him, told him she was incomplete without him. Those weren’t just pretty words from her. She meant them, still meant them, and yet she was alone. Alone because of her harsh words and fantasies that for just one moment, burned too brightly to look away.

Fantasies. Was that all it was? A fairy tale told to good little girls so that they might dream the dream of families?





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