BUFFY: So, how'd it go with Miss French?

XANDER: Well, it's a bit demanding being her absolute favorite guy in the universe, but I'll muddle through.

BUFFY: Xander, she's not what she seems.

XANDER: I know, she's so much more.

BUFFY: Okay, um... I'm gonna have to tell you something about her, and I'm gonna need you to really listen, okay?

XANDER: Okay.

BUFFY: I don't think she's human.

XANDER: I see. So if she's not human she's...?

BUFFY: Technically? A big bug. (Xander laughs) This sounds really weird, I'm aware of that...

XANDER: It doesn't sound weird at all, I completely understand. I've met someone, and you're jealous.

BUFFY: What?

XANDER: Look, there's nothing I can do about it. Uh, there's just this certain chemical thing between Miss French and me.

BUFFY: I know, I read all about it, it's call, um, a pheromone. It's a chemical attractant that insects give off.

XANDER: She's not an insect! She's a woman, okay? And hard as that may be for you to conceive, an actual woman finds me attractive. I realize it's no mystery guy handing out leather jackets, and while we're on the subject, what kind of a girlie name is 'Angel' anyway?

BUFFY: What does that have to do with...

XANDER: Nothing! It just kinda bugs me. Look, I really gotta... (leaves)

• Xander & Buffy

written by: David Greenwalt; Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/04pet.html