XANDER: Did you ever think in a million years you'd miss the high school library?

BUFFY: Someone put a spell on my mom. Something to make it seem like she's sick.

XANDER: That's a new kind of nasty. Any suspects?

BUFFY: Well, I've got the list narrowed down to just under infinity.

(Willow carries an hourglass over to Anya, the wrapping paper hanging off it.)

WILLOW: Does this look right to you?

ANYA: Sure. If you wrapped it with your feet.

(Anya takes the hourglass and starts wrapping it herself. )

ANYA: You know, Buffy, there used to be this French sorcerer back in the 16th I-don't-know-what named-

GILES: Cloutier?

ANYA: So cute in his little knickers. But he had this one spell demons just hated called tirer la couture.

BUFFY: "Rotate many foodstuffs"?

WILLOW: "Pull the curtain back".

ANYA: A spell to see spells... well, a trance to see spells, actually, but you get the idea. Try that.

BUFFY: What do you mean "see" spells?

GILES: Well, all spells leave a trace signature. It's just not perceptible to the human eye. In this case, it could be the image of a hand choking your mother.

ANYA: Or a cloud of mist around her.

WILLOW: Or maybe the shape of the demon that's performing the spell?

GILES: Possible, yes.

(Anya holds up the perfectly-wrapped hourglass, beaming.)

BUFFY: Okay, so I'll do what Monsieur Silk Knickers did. I'll go home, I'll get trancey and I'll see what's affecting my mom.

WILLOW: I don't know, Buffy. Trances?

GILES: Yes, Buffy, the Sorcerer Cloutier was legendary. His skills at achieving higher states of consciousness were-

BUFFY: Better than mine? (to Willow) I knew he was gonna say that. (to Giles) But I've been practicing concentration skills. I know I'm close.

GILES: Are you ready?

BUFFY: It's my mom. I'll get ready. (to Willow) What do I need?

written by: Douglas Petrie; . Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/83noplacelikehome.html