(resume from previous)

ANGEL: Lilah.

LILAH: Angel. What's the matter, ace? Didn't think you were the only one that ever got to come back from hell around here, did ya? (clears throat) Speaking of which, could I possibly get some ice water?

ANGEL: What are you doing here, Lilah?

WESLEY: She's not here. It's not her. It can't be.

LILAH: There's a signed dollar in your wallet that says different.

WESLEY: It's a lie.

LILAH: Lie. Lah. It's a Lie-lah. (to Angel) You're the one with the preternatural senses. You tell him.

ANGEL: It's true, Wes. It's her.

FRED: But how? She was dead.

ANGEL: She's still dead.

GUNN: Vampire?

LILAH: Eww, please. Angelus drank from me, it's true, but like with most men, it was a one-way street. I was dead already. Besides, my Wesley made sure I'd be spared, (pulls down the scarf that covered her neck revealing a straight red scar across her neck) just in case. It's OK, lover. I never felt a thing.

WESLEY: I'm sure that's true.

GUNN: I don't get this. If she ain't alive, and she ain't a vampire, what in the hell is she?

LILAH: I'm just a messenger. That's all. They'll be sending me straight back to hell once I'm finished here.

GUNN: Who's they?

ANGEL: Wolfram & Hart. The contract she signed with them extends beyond her death.

LILAH: Standard perpetuity clause, I'm afraid. Always read the fine print.

ANGEL: What's your game, Lilah?

LILAH: No game. In fact, game over. Guess what? You win, which is why I'm here. I have been authorized to make you kids an offer.

FRED: You can't possibly think there's anything we'd want from you.

LILAH: I don't think you'll want it, but you'll take it, because this is the offer of a lifetime. Just not, you know...mine.

(credits. when we returned, there's a *long* awkward silence, as the gang seems to be trying to digest what Lilah's just said. Finally, the silence is broken...)

GUNN: You want to run that by us one more time?

LILAH: What was unclear?

FRED: I think the part where you offered us Wolfram & Hart.

LILAH: Just the L.A. Branch.

LORNE: Just the L.A. Branch. Hi, from another dimension, what the hell does that mean?

LILAH: Means we give. You win. We're moving out. The senior partners are ceding this territory to you, and to prove it, they want to give you controlling interest in our L.A. Office. You get the building, assets, personnel, letterhead, paper clips, all of it. It's yours to do with as you see fit.

FRED: But there is no Los Angeles office of Wolfram & Hart. The beast destroyed it.

LILAH: Oh, it's back, restaffed and zombie-free. We're bigger, better, and shinier than ever, and we want to give it to you.

GUNN: You want to give us your evil law firm? We ain't lawyers.

FRED: Or evil. Currently.

LILAH: What we're offering you is a turnkey, state-of-the-art, multi-tasking operation. What you do with it, well, that's up to you.

ANGEL: Why?

LILAH: Well, I thought that was obvious. You earned it. Think of it as a reward.

GUNN: Reward for what?

LILAH: Ending world peace.

FRED: That's not what happened.

LILAH: No?

WESLEY: Jasmine was creating a slave state.

LILAH: Right, where the slaves are full of giggly joy and love. Ugh, what a nightmare.

ANGEL: She was eating people.

LILAH: They knew what they were getting into.

LORNE: Her stomach?

LILAH: World peace comes at a price. Jasmine understood that. She consumed, what? Couple dozen souls a day? Now weigh that against ending the suffering of millions, but you fixed that.

FRED: No, we didn't. I—I mean, we did, we—we fixed it, but not in the way that you're trying to make it sound.

LILAH: Jeez, it's not like it was a criticism. Anyway, I'm dead and running late. Think about our proposal. If anyone's interested and wants the grand tour, there'll be a limo waiting outside just before dawn, and hey... good job. (walks out the door)

FRED: (annoyed) We ended a nefarious global domination scheme, not world peace... (looks at the others) right?

• Angel & Lilah
• Funnies
• Wolfram & Hart

written by: Tim Minear; Original transcript by CariCranberry. Edited and formatted for this site by me. . Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season4/transcripts/88_tran.php