BUFFY: If it isn't the great producer!

XANDER: Had to see this to believe it.

GILES: Oh. You three.

BUFFY: The school talent show. How ever did you finagle such a primo assignment?

GILES: Our new Führer, Mr. Snyder.

WILLOW: I think they call 'em 'principals' now.

GILES: Mm. He thought it would behoove me to have more contact with the students. I did try to explain that my vocational choice of librarian was a deliberate attempt to minimize said contact, but, uh, he would have none of it.

BUFFY: Giles, unto every generation is born one who must run the annual talentless show. You cannot escape your destiny.

GILES: If you had any shred of decency, you would have participated, or at least, um, helped.

BUFFY: Nah! I think I'll take on your traditional role... and watch!

XANDER: And mock!

WILLOW: And laugh!

BUFFY: O-kay. I think maybe we better leave our Mr. Giles to this business he calls a show.

(The three of them get up and start back up the aisle. Principal Snyder is waiting there for them.)

BUFFY: Principal Snyder!

SNYDER: So. We think school events are stupid, and we think authority figures are to be made fun of.

BUFFY: No! No, we don't. W-unless you do.

SNYDER: And we think our afternoon classes are optional. All three of you left campus yesterday.

BUFFY: Yeah, but we were fighting a demon...

SNYDER: Fighting?

BUFFY: Not fighting.

XANDER: No, we, uh, left to *avoid* fighting.

SNYDER: Real anti-social types. You need to integrate into this school, people. I think I just found three eager new participants for the talent show.

BUFFY: What?

XANDER: No!

WILLOW: Please?

SNYDER: I've been watching you three. Always getting into one scrape or another.

BUFFY: Well, we're really, really sorry, but about the talent show, pleeease, you can't make us...

SNYDER: (interrupts) My predecessor, Mr. Flutie, may have gone in for all that touchy-feely relating nonsense, but he was eaten. You're in *my* world now. And Sunnydale has touched and felt for the last time.

XANDER: Can I just mention, that detention is a time-honored form of punishment?

SNYDER: I know the three of you will come up with a wonderful act for the school to watch. And mock. And laugh. At. (leaves)

XANDER: No!

written by: Dean Batali & Rob Des Hotel; Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/09puppet.html