(Fred, carrying a big box of papers, starts to get off the elevator in the wrong direction)

WESLEY: Fred?

FRED: Wesley! Oh! I'm always getting turned around.

WESLEY: (re: box) Can I help you with any of that?

FRED: (ignores offer) It's so big.

WESLEY: It does take some getting used to.

FRED: Have you seen my lab? It's giganamous. And I'm in charge.

WESLEY: I'm sure you'll have no trouble—

FRED: I don't even understand half of what they're doing. There's this machine, 6 feet tall, it makes this noise— whoompa! Whoompa! Phht! Not a clue.

WESLEY: Well, I'm still stuck back at... Why on earth are we here?

FRED: What, because we're crusaders against evil and now the law firm that represents most of the evil in the world has given us its L.A. branch to run however we want, probably in an attempt to corrupt, divide, or destroy us, and we all said yes in, like, 3 minutes?

WESLEY: Your run-on sentences have got a lot less pointless.

FRED: Oh, that's so sweet. And a tad condescending.

WESLEY: Uh, you sure I can't help you—

KNOX: Ms. Burkle!

FRED: Hi! Oh, um, Wesley, this is Knox. And I told you to call me Fred.

KNOX: A-any minute now, I'm gonna start. Ha! That's a promise from me to you. (re: box) Can I help you with that?

FRED: (friendly) Oh, thank you.

WESLEY: So, Knox, how long have you been, uh, evil?

KNOX: Oh! Heh! I just mix the potions, you know? And now that I'm taking orders from el jefe here, I'll probably be saving the world on a weekly basis. (Fred giggles)

WESLEY: Good for you.

KNOX: Do you know how to get to your office from here?

FRED: Why, did somebody eat my breadcrumbs?

KNOX: Heh! It's not that hard. I'll show you.

FRED: Thanks, Knoxy. (to Wes) Oh! See ya!

KNOX: (to Wes) Oh, it was nice to meet you.

• Fred & Knox
• Wesley & Fred
• Wolfram & Hart

written by: Joss Whedon; Original transcript by CariCranberry. Edited & formatted for this site by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season5/transcripts/5x01_tran2.php