(Lorne sits at his vanity, looking exhausted, rubbing his temples)

LORNE'S REFLECTION: Ooh, ouch. That's an adult-sized bang-a-roo. Hello? Oh, Mr. Smiles. Oh, come on, you can't ignore me forever. Oh, well, fine. Looks like you're gonna have to slap a band-aid on that melon, draw a grin on that bewitching green mug, and go right back out there. On the count of 9, sunshine. 1...2...3... The show stops for no demon, Lorne. 4...5... They're all waiting for you. 6...7... They're counting on you. 8...comin'up on 9. They're gonna eat you up with a spoon because you're so scrumptious!

LORNE: (screams) Shut up!

(he bashes the mirror with a wine bottle)

LORNE'S REFLECTION: (singing)
Don't, don't leave me this way
I can't exist
I'll surely miss
your tender kiss
so don't leave me this way
ohhhh...


(Lorne steps out of his office, and he's back on)

LORNE: (singing) Ohhh, baby! Oh, my heart is full of love and desire for you!

written by: Ben Edlund; Original transcript by CariCranberry. Edited & formatted by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season5/transcripts/5x05_tran.php