WILLOW: So far I've counted four marriage certificates.

XANDER: Any divorce papers?

WILLOW: Not a one.

XANDER: So either our boy was a Mormon, or...

WILLOW: Whoa, whoa, 1957! Ted musta married young! Like pre- school young.

CORDELIA: Nothing interesting back here. Doesn't look like anybody's worked here, let alone lived here.

XANDER: Something's missing here. This doesn't seem like Ted at all.

CORDELIA: Yeah, and this rug? It doesn't go with the rest of the decor.

(they discover a trap door)

CORDELIA: Feels like home. If it's the fifties and you're a psycho.

XANDER: Whatcha got in the closet, Ted? (opens it, looks in, slams it shut) Let's go.

CORDELIA: But we need evidence!

XANDER: We got it.

WILLOW: What's in there?

XANDER: His first four wives.

written by: David Greenwalt & Joss Whedon; Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/23ted.html