PROFESSOR: Now, Rasputin was associated with a certain obscure religious sect. They held the tenet that in order to be forgiven, one first had to sin. Rasputin embraced this doctrine and proceeded to sin impressively and repeatedly. The notion that he was in fact evil gained strength years later when the conspirators who set out to kill him found it nearly impossible to do so.

BUFFY: (to herself) Nearly impossible?

PROFESSOR: I'm sorry, there's a question? Miss Summers, of course.

BUFFY: I, uh, about, you know, killing him ... you know, they, they poisoned him and, and they beat him and they shot him, and he didn't die.

PROFESSOR: Until they rolled his body in a carpet and drowned him in a canal.

BUFFY: But there are reported sightings of him as late as the 1930s, aren't there?

PROFESSOR: I can assure you there is near consensus in the academic community regarding the death of Rasputin.

BUFFY: There was also near consensus about Columbus, you know, until someone asked the Vikings what they were up to in the 1400s, and they're like, "discovering this America-shaped continent." I just ... I'm only saying, you know, it might be interesting, if we .... came at it from, you know, a different perspective, that's all.

PROFESSOR: Well, I'm sorry if you find these facts so boring, Miss Summers. Maybe you'd prefer I step aside, so that you can teach your own course. Speculation 101 perhaps? (The other students laugh) Intro to Flights of Fancy? (The students laugh more)

BUFFY: I only meant-

PROFESSOR: What was it you were going on about last week? Mysterious sleeping patterns of the Prussian generals? Now, some of us are here to learn. Believe it or not, we're interested in finding out what actually happened. It's called studying history. You can sit down now. Unless you have something else to add, professor?

(cut to graveyard that night, Buffy's fighting a vamp)

BUFFY: Miss Summers! Some of us are here to learn, professor! Maybe you'd like to teach your own class!

VAMP: Who are you talking to?

• Academics

written by: Douglas Petrie and Jane Espenson; Transcribed by Joan the English Chick (pisces@englishchick.com).. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/90checkpoint.html