ANYA: Go help the lady who just came in.

BUFFY: Wait-

ANYA: Don't worry, don't be nervous. Do what I do, just picture yourself naked.

MALE CUSTOMER: Uh, miss-

BUFFY: Here. (shoves the lemon candle at him)

FEMALE CUSTOMER: Hi. I'm looking for something really specific. I heard you carry it.

BUFFY: A mummy hand. You look like the mummy hand type. Sorry, I can't get that for you.

FEMALE CUSTOMER: I called here twenty minutes ago, and someone said you had one.

BUFFY: Y-yeah, um ... but ... there's a thing happening.

FEMALE CUSTOMER: You have one, and, and I was told I could buy it, and I'm sorry, but I'm really gonna have to hold you to that. I'm not leaving until I get a mummy hand.

BUFFY: (reluctantly) Okay ... I guess ... I'll have to get it for you.

(cut to van)

WARREN: Smart. She's figuring out the game. Satisfy the customer. Well, she might just have you beat there, Stretch.

JONATHAN: No way. It hasn't even started yet.

ANDREW: I just hope she solves it faster than Data did on the ep of TNG where the Enterprise kept blowing up.

WARREN: Or Mulder, in that X-Files where the bank kept exploding.

ANDREW: Scully wants me so bad.

(cut to Buffy going after the hand with tongs and knife. Cut to Buffy handing customer a paper bag)

BUFFY: Fingers sold separately.

• Buffy vs the Legion of Dorkness (Trio)

written by: David Fury and Jane Espenson; transcribed by Joan the English Chick (pisces@englishchick.com). action descriptions shortened by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/105lifeserial.html