BUFFY: Judging by the bite-fest, I'd say it was more than one vampire.

GILES: I make it four at least.

BUFFY: Looks like someone's put together a new fang club.

WILLOW: Well, I've cross-checked the inventory list, and things are definitely missing. Mostly books. Including A Treatise on the Mythology and Methodology of the Vampire Slayer.

(Buffy pulls out her list as Giles picks up the inventory book.)

BUFFY: Oh, shoot! Was that the only copy?

GILES: Come on, Buffy, this could be very serious. Whoever's leading this pack of vampires appears to be interested in learning more about you. Perhaps searching for weaknesses or ... good lord.

BUFFY: What?

GILES: Well, I had no idea the profit margins on a shop like this were so high. Look at this! Uh, low overhead, out-of-state orders, international - it's no wonder there's never any trouble attracting new owners. A place like this is a virtual-

BUFFY: Deathtrap?

GILES: What? Well, uh, yes, there is that. But, uh, still... Location, pedestrian traffic...

WILLOW: So what's the next step?

GILES: Buffy, you should begin looking for their lair straight away.

BUFFY: I'll get Riley to help me patrol.

WILLOW: Wait, aren't you forgetting something?

GILES: Impressive square footage...

WILLOW: You're on Dawn duty.

(Buffy looks annoyed.)

BUFFY: Oh, duty. I gotta drop my sister back home. (eyes widening) My mother's gonna *kill* me.

GILES: I bet the death rate keeps the rent down.

• The Magic Shop

written by: David Fury; transcribed by Joan the English Chick (pisces@englishchick.com). Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/80realme.html