HARMONY: What a total disaster. My first plan! I so wanted it to go well. Plus, I didn't even get to kill stupid Xander Harris! God, that was so embarrassing.

MORT: We'll go back later.

HARMONY: No! It's no good. Buffy's gonna expect us now. The whole surprise is blown.

PEACHES: (to Cyrus) Who're you growling at?

CYRUS: Not me, my stomach. If I don't eat somebody soon, I-I'll get dizzy.

PEACHES: Let's go back to the lair. That census taker may not be empty yet.

BRAD: Not me. This night is young, and I want some action.

(A hand taps Brad on the shoulder, and when he turns, it punches him in the face. He goes down. )

SPIKE: Happy to oblige. Here I thought it was gonna be a slow night. (puffing on a cigarette, sizing up the minions) Step on up, kiddies. Thrashings for all.

HARMONY: Stop!

SPIKE: Well. Hello, Harm.

HARMONY: Spikey. I mean, Spike.

SPIKE: Long time. You look good.

HARMONY: I feel good.

SPIKE: (smirks) I remember.

HARMONY: How've you been?

SPIKE: (shrugs) Not bad. Just got a brand-new telly in my crypt, so...

MORT: (walking up behind Harmony) Why are you talking to him?

HARMONY: It's okay, we used to go steady. (sighs) Spike, Mort. Mort, this is-

MORT: I know who he is. He kills our kind.

HARMONY: Oh yeah! (to Spike) What's up with that?

SPIKE: (shrugs) Bloke's gotta have a hobby, don't he? Piss off, Mort.

• Spike & Harmony
• Spike's defanging

written by: David Fury; transcribed by Joan the English Chick (pisces@englishchick.com). Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/80realme.html