Ford: This is so cool! I would totally live here.

SPIKE: Do I have anyone on watch here? It's called security, people. Are you all asleep? Or did we finally find a restaurant that delivers?

Ford: I know who you are.

SPIKE: Yeah, I know who I am, too. So what?

Ford: I came looking for you, Spike. You are Spike, right? William the Bloody?

SPIKE: You've got a real death wish. It's almost interesting.

(The blonde vampire comes in, walks up to Spike and hands him the book she stole)

SPIKE: Oh, this is great. This'll be very useful. (to Ford) So, how did you find me?

Ford: That doesn't matter. I've got something to offer you. I-I'm pretty sure this is the part where you take out a watch and say I've got thirty seconds to convince you not to kill me? (smiles) It's traditional.

SPIKE: Well, I don't go much for tradition.

DRUSILLA: Wait, love.

SPIKE: Well?

Ford: Oh, c'mon! Say it! It's no fun if you don't say it.

SPIKE: What? Oh. (rolls his eyes) You've got thirty seconds to convince me not to kill you.

Ford: Yes! See, this is the best! I wanna be like you. A vampire.

SPIKE: I've known you for two minutes, and I can't stand you. I don't really feature you livin' forever. (to Drusilla) Can I eat him now, love?

Drusilla shakes her head.

Ford: Well, feature this: I'm offering you a trade. You make me a vampire, and I give you the Slayer.

• Funnies
• Spike & Drusilla

written by: Joss Whedon; Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/19lietome.html