SHARK DEMON: Easy, boys. No need to get physical-like. Is there, Mister Spike?

BUFFY: You know this guy?!

SPIKE: Yeah. (to demon) Whadda you want?

SHARK DEMON: You know me, uh ... there are a lot of things I would like, Mister Spike. A house in Bel Air ... with a generously sized swimming pool ... and of course, the forty Siamese that you owe me.

SPIKE: Take it easy, you'll get your kittens.

SHARK DEMON: Oh, I trust you, Mister Spike.

BUFFY: Oh god, what is it with you guys? Why kittens? Why can't you just use money like everybody else?

SHARK DEMON: (to Spike) She's funny. I like funny in a girl.

SPIKE: I just need a little more time.

SHARK DEMON: Time, time, time! Is what turns kittens into cats! Look, I don't wanna see anyone get hurt. Boys.

(Buffy attacks the advancing vamp minions)

BUFFY: Then you'd better close your eyes.

VAMP 1: I said she was the Slayer, boss.

SHARK DEMON: Ahh, good for you. The vampire slayer. (to Buffy) Have you ever given any thought to, uh, freelance work? A little debt collecting, perhaps?

BUFFY: No thank you.

VAMP 1: Boss, he's gone. Spike has split.

SHARK DEMON: Well, that's what I get for socializing. All right, come on, boys, we'll locate Mister Spike and, uh, *talk* to him a little more. (to Buffy) Oh. It was a genuine pleasure. (exits)

BUFFY: (to herself) If I would just stop saving his life, it would simple things up *so* much.

• Buffy & Spike

written by: Rebecca Kirshner; transcribed by Joan the English Chick (pisces@englishchick.com). action descriptions shortened by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/108tabularasa.html