BARNEY: Sold! For twenty thousand to number 118, the dapper gentleman in the center aisle. Well-done, sir. You are now the proud owner of an authentic Tak horn. Stab your enemies with it, heck, stab your wife, it’ll drain the life right out of them. The power to drain a life force is an investment in peace of mind.

BARNEY: Next up, Lot 32. We’re very lucky to have this here today. A rare and beautiful find.

CORDELIA: I’m really not a Seer. I only had a vision once, and I’m pretty sure it was just something I ate!

BARNEY: The magnificent eyes of a Seer. Your very own pipeline to the Powers That Be, folks. The possibilities are endless. Keep the girl as a slave, remove the head as a trophy, or simply harvest the eyes, in any case a unique party icebreaker. It doesn’t get any better than this. We’ll start the bidding at two thousand. Do I hear two thousand? Ah, two thousand. Do I hear two thousand and five? Two thousand and five. Do I hear three? Three.

(…)

BARNEY: Eight thousand, do I hear nine? Eyes of a seer, folks, I don’t have to tell some of you what a rare find this is. Ah, nine thousand. Nine gets me ten. Do I hear ten? Ten thousand. Ten thousand, do I hear ten? Ah, ten thousand! Do I have eleven? Eleven thousand. Eleven thousand from the gentleman in the back! Do we have twelve? Seer’s eyes going at eleven thousand, do I hear twelve?

(…)

BARNEY: Eleven thousand it is. Going for eleven thousand once, twice…

CORDELIA: Hey, you know you pay twice that for cataracts. These eyes are flawless even without the stupid visions! That the best you can do?

BARNEY: Twelve thousand. I have twelve thousand from the gentleman. Do I hear thirteen? Thirteen thousand? Thirteen? Going for twelve thousand…

CORDELIA: You know what these eyes can do? They can, uh, see stuff – like, uh, danger, and – and - and evil and locations of buried treasure!

BARNEY: Thirteen thousand, do I hear…?

CORDELIA: Come on, have some huevos, guy! Whitey here is stepping all over ya. You gonna take that from his kind?

BARNEY: Fourteen – fifteen – sixteen – seventeen -

VOICE on phone with lawyer: You decide.

BARNEY: - eighteen – nineteen. (One bidder knocks out other bidder.) Twenty thousand from the gentleman in the center aisle, going once, going twice…

LAWYER: Thirty thousand.

BARNEY: Huh, sold for thirty thousand dollars to the lovely lawyer form Wolfram & Hart.

• Cordelia's visions & championhood

written by: David Fury and Jeannine Renshaw; Originally transcribed by anonymous. Edited and formatted for this site by ros_fod, checked against source by renenet.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season1/transcripts/10_tran.shtml