CORDELIA: (handing out candy) Now, remember who to vote for for May Queen! As in me!

Boy: Thanks.

CORDELIA: (to Harmony) Hi! Isn't this the bomb? I'm such the campaign strategist.

HARMONY: 'C'. For Cordelia?

CORDELIA: No, 'C' for Wilma, little brain! Of course, 'C' for Cordelia! This way people will associate me with something sweet! (continues passing out candy) Here's a chocolate... (sees it's Buffy and pulls her hand back) Oh. I don't think I need the loony-fringe vote. (leaves)

BUFFY: Well, I-I don't even *like* chocolates. (to herself) Okay, that was the lamest comeback of our times.

XANDER: So, what's Cordelia up to?

BUFFY: Bribery. She's desperate to be May Queen.

XANDER: Cordelia, man, she does love titles!

WILLOW: Oh, God! Remember in sixth grade with the field trip?

XANDER: Right! Right! The guy with the antlers on his belt!

WILLOW: Be my Deputy!

XANDER: And remember the, the hat?

WILLOW: Oh God! The hat!

BUFFY: Gee, it's fun that we're speaking in tongues.

WILLOW: I'm sorry.

XANDER: It's just that we had this, uh... You had to be there.

WILLOW: It's not even funny.

XANDER: Really.

WILLOW: Uh, Cordelia just has a history of trying too hard.

XANDER: Yeah, what kind of moron would wanna be May Queen anyway?

BUFFY: I was.

XANDER: You what?

BUFFY: At my old school.

XANDER: Oh! So the, uh, *good* kind of moron would do that. The, uh, non-moron, I mean.

BUFFY: Well, we didn't call it 'May Queen', but we had the coronation, and the dance, and all that stuff. It was nice.

XANDER: Well, you know, you don't need that anymore. You got us!

WILLOW: (cracks up again) Be my Deputy! Oh, God...

• Cordelia & Harmony

written by: Ashley Gable & Thomas A. Swyden; Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/buffy/season1/transcripts/11_tran.htm