Evil WILLOW: (recoiling) Oh, this is like a nightmare.

The door opens, and Cordelia comes into the library. She's dressed in a shimmery evening dress, carrying a couple of books.

CORDELIA: Hello? Giles? (casually) Wesley? I just happened to stop by... for books.

Evil WILLOW: Hey, you.

CORDELIA: 'Hey me'? 'Hey me' what? I have a name, you know.

Evil WILLOW: Uh, Cordelia.

CORDELIA: What did you do? Lock yourself in the book cage?

Evil WILLOW: Yeah. Lemme out... 'Cause I'm so helpless.

CORDELIA: Okay. I think Giles keeps a spare. How'd you manage to lock yourself in, anyway?

Evil WILLOW: Uh, I was looking at books. I like... books... ...'cause I'm shy.

CORDELIA: (sarcastically) Yeah, right. The famous shy girl act all the boys fall for.

Evil WILLOW: Open the cage.

Cordelia puts in the key and turns it, but stops short of unlocking it. She looks up at Evil Willow and has a thought.

CORDELIA: Wait. (briskly) It occurs to me that we've never really had the opportunity to talk. You know, woman to woman... with you locked up.

Evil WILLOW: (impatient) Don't wanna talk. Hungry.

CORDELIA: What could we talk about? Oh! Hey! How about the ethics of boyfriend stealing?

(later)

CORDELIA: And, okay, it isn't even like I was that attracted to Xander. It was more just that we kept being put in these life or death situations, and that's always all sexy and stuff. I mean, I more or less knew he was a loser. But that doesn't make it okay for you to come around and... (notices Evil Willow's stare) What? Do I have something on my neck?

Evil WILLOW: Not yet.

CORDELIA: (worried) Am I getting a zit?

Evil WILLOW: (very bored and tired) Cordelia, I'm *very* sorry. I realize I was wrong. I'll never steal your boyfriend again.

CORDELIA: (stung) Like you could! I should just leave you in there, but I'm a great humanitarian, (gets the keys) and you will just have to think of a way to pay me back sometime.

She unlocks the cage, turns the handle and pulls the door open. Evil Willow steps out.

Evil WILLOW: Okay. (vamps out) How about dinner?

CORDELIA: (desperately) I didn't mean all that stuff I said before. I want you to have Xander. My blessings on you both!

Evil WILLOW: I'm *so* over him. I need fresh blood.

• Cordelia's unique world views
• Xander & Cordelia

written by: Joss Whedon; . Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/50doppelgangland.html