LORNE: (singing smoothly) It's not that easy being green. Having to spend each day the color of the leaves. When think it could be nice enough...

GUNN: No one seems to be bothered by the fact that he's a demon.

FRED: They must think it's all make-up, like the Blue Man Group. (pauses, to Angel) You don't think the Blue Man Group...

ANGEL: Only two of them.

LORNE: ...Oh, but green's the color of Spring. And green can be cool and friendly-like. Oh, and green can be big like an ocean or important like a mountain or tall like a tree. Oh, when green is all there is to green, it could make you wonder why but why wonder why wonder... I am green and it'll do fine. It's beautiful and I think it's what I want to be. Mmm-hmm.

LORNE: (to audience) Thank you! Thank you so much. You know, I gotta tell you folks... I gotta tell you, you are by far the kickingest crowd that I've had the privilege of performing for here at the Tropicana. Yes! Yes, that's right. That's right. Give it up for your sweet selves. Whoo! All right. Now, you know what, just for you guys, I think it's time we crank things up a notch, what do you say? Huh? (takes off his bow tie, hands it to girl in the front row) Here you go, honey. Yeah. Maestro, give me some drums, s'il vous plait. Aw, that's it, that's it. Paco, gimme a little bass. Aw, merci, merci. Now all I need is a little help from my Lornettes. (gestures to the girls dancing behind him as the curtain opens) Hey! Strut it girls! Hey! Come on, baby!

LORNETTES: (singing) Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, flow sister Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, go sister

FRED: Whoo! (claps) He's very good.

LORNE: (singing) He met Marmelade down in old New Orleans, Strutting her stuff on the street, She said Hello, hey, Joe, wanna give it a go? Giuchie giuchie ya ya dada! Say giuchie giuchie ya ya here! Mm-hmm mocha chocolata ya ya! Let me hear you say—

(Lorne puts the microphone up to a businessman in the audience.)

WELL DRESSED MAN: (singing poorly) Creole Lady Marmalade

LORNE: (singing) wow wow wow voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir

(Lorne puts the microphone up to a society woman in the audience.)

BEJEWELED WOMAN: (singing poorly) voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir

LORNE: (singing) He sat in her boudoir while she freshened up The girl drinking all that magnolia wine On her black satin sheets that's where she started to freak And I said Giuchie giuchie ya ya dada! Say giuchie giuchie ya ya here! Mocha chocolata ya ya! Just say Creole Lady Marmalade

FRED: Oh, here he comes. He's gonna plotz when he sees us.

GUNN: Oh, uh-uh. He better not stick that damn mic in my face

FRED: Oh, come on, Charles, it's all in fun. Besides, you have a nice voice

GUNN: Yeah, do it if you want, but I'm not in the mood to—

ANGEL: He's gone.

GUNN: What?

FRED: He just went right by.

GUNN: (looks disappointed) Oh... well, good

LORNE: (singing) Just say Creole Lady Marmalade Whoa-aah

(Lorne puts the microphone up to a cute young woman in the audience.)

VIVIAN: (singing) ya ya da (giggles) giuchie giuchie ya ya hey (both laugh)

LORNE: All right. Well, you're just a tickle-me-cutie. What's your name, peach pie?

VIVIAN: Vivian.

VIVIAN'S FRIENDS: Yeah, Vivian!

LORNE: Aw, Viv, well it looks like you've got a little celebration going on here.

VIVIAN: Yeah, well, a going away party, actually.

LORNE: Going away? Honey, we just met. Where're you going?

VIVIAN: Paris. I was just accepted to a culinary school there.

LORNE: Aw, well isn't that great? (to audience) How about sending a little good will to our chef of the future. (to Vivian) Aw, that's marvelous. Thank you, honey. (kisses her cheek) And, Vivian, I've only got one thing to say to you: (singing) Hey Giuchie giuchie ya ya dada! Giuchie giuchie ya ya here! Mocha chocolata ya ya! Creole lady marmalade!

(... backstage ...)

FRED: It was just—wow! Wasn't it? I-I mean the laser lights, those Lornette girls, and, hello, 30-piece orchestra!

GUNN: Yeah, but I still don't know why he dissed us during the sing-along. It's just nice to be asked is all.

ANGEL: I don't know. I thought it was a little over-produced for my taste. It's like I told Sammy Davis at the Sands. When you, Frank, and Dean are the meal, you don't need the trimmings.

GUNN: Hold up. You knew the Rat Pack?

ANGEL: Know 'em? No. I met 'em once. Twice. For drinks. Maybe it was three times. Hey, you know, I did have a life before you guys came along.

FRED: So, do you know what you're gonna sing?

ANGEL: Sing?

FRED: For Lorne? So he can read you.

ANGEL: Hey, you know, we don't have to do that right away. We just got here. Hey, who's up for some blackjack?

(Angel starts to walk away, but Lorne comes out of the stage door, and the crowd goes wild.)

LORNE: (to crowd) Hi! Hey, how are you?

FRED: Lorne. It's us!

LORNE: (still generic) Hey, love ya!

FRED: We love you t— Wait. That was him being superficial, wasn't it?

ANGEL: W-wait! Hey, Lorne, wait!

GUARD: Hold it, pal.

ANGEL: Oh. Easy, OK. I know him. I just want to say hello.

GUARD: You and everybody else, pal.

written by: David Fury; Original transcript by CariCranberry. Edited and formatted for this site by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season4/transcripts/69_tran.php