XANDER: Well, Spike definitely seems a little more cogent, less (moves finger up and down on lip to make sound) bl-bl-bl-bl-bl. I'm just saying... once you get back the soul, doesn't that mean you start, like, picking up your own wet towels off the floor?

WILLOW: No, but maybe you start to feel really bad about leaving them there.

BUFFY: At least he's showering, and that's a refreshing and delightful change.

XANDER: Buff?

BUFFY: I think that's the guy.

WILLOW: What guy?

BUFFY: The one who, according to Dawn, is the quote smartest, funniest, coolest, hottest, and having the thickest boy eyelashes boy in school unquote.

XANDER: He don't seem so tough.

WILLOW: Check out the fan club.

XANDER: Daddy like.

BUFFY: What is that shirt made of? Paint?

WILLOW: (eyes wide) Buff?

BUFFY: Glad Dawnie isn't here to see her precious boyfriend getting all thrusty with some slut-bag hussy?

(the girl turns around and it's... surprise! Dawn)

BUFFY: Oh.

XANDER: Oh. Oh! No! "Daddy"? No, I wasn't? When I was looking, I wasn't? Oh, God!

WILLOW: Right there with ya.

(cut to a little later, Buffy ambushes Dawn)

BUFFY: So, do you have plans later, or are you just gonna go down to the docks and wait for the fleet to come in?

DAWN: What?

BUFFY: Where do I start with the bad? First, you told me you were going to the library. Second, you do not go out on a date without informing me first. Third, Anna Nicole Smith thinks you look tacky.

DAWN: Yeah, well I think I look hot, and so does R.J.

BUFFY: Oh, I bet he does. Maybe I should go have a little word with him.

DAWN: No! Don't you dare embarrass me in front of him.

BUFFY: I don't like this. This boy has you acting crazy.

DAWN: It's my life. I'll do what I want to.

BUFFY: I don't think so.

DAWN: Oh. So, what?suddenly you're Mom now?

BUFFY: No, I'm not. And I am glad she's not here to see you like this. Look, I'm sorry. I just?

DAWN: You just can't handle it.

BUFFY: What?

DAWN: You've always been the special one. Hot little Buffy with her boyfriends. The Slayer. And now someone likes me, and you just can't stand that I'm getting the attention.

BUFFY: That is the farthest thing from true.

DAWN: No it's not. And I'm sorry, but I like the way R.J. makes me feel, and if you think that makes me a slut or whatever, I don't care.

BUFFY: Oh, no, no, no. You are not going back out on that dance floor.

(Dawn glares and heads outside. She hears a noise)

DAWN: R.J.?

CHEERLEADER FRIEND: I know what you're doing, slut. I saw you. I saw you with R.J.!

DAWN: So? We were just dancing.

CHEERLEADER FRIEND: Right? You think I'm stupid? You're gonna back off now.

DAWN: You know what's sad? A girl who can't move on when she's been dumped.

CHEERLEADER FRIEND: He didn't dump me!

(chick fight, till Buffy interferes)

BUFFY: OK, first with the lap dance, now with the cat fight. Hey, you wanna get drunk and barf next?

DAWN: Let go of me. (to cheerleader) This isn't finished.

CHEERLEADER FRIEND: I'll never let you have him, bitch. (kicks Buffy in the shin, then runs off yelling) R.J. is mine. I mean it! Stay away from him!

BUFFY: Well, at least someone agrees you shouldn't be dating this guy.

• Buffy & Dawn

written by: Drew Z. Greenberg; Transcribed by: CariCranberry. Edited by me. . Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/buffy/season7/transcripts/128_tran.php