WESLEY: (arriving) Then you'll be interested in this. 3 people found with their hearts cut out in East Los Angeles, all within the last couple of hours. The police are on it, but my sense is it's more demonic than some murderous nut job.

(numero cinco overhears, heads out of the office)

SPIKE: So we're ruling out demonic nut jobs, then, are we?

GUNN: We should check it out.

ANGEL: Right.

GUNN: (to the mailman) Yo! You missed one.

ANGEL: I'll get it.

(he takes the envelope from Gunn and goes after the mailman)

ANGEL: Wait! Wait. Hold up for a second.

(Angel touches Cinco's arm; Cinco throws him through his office window, then calmly continues his rounds.)

ANGEL: I really hate this place.

(commercial)

ANGEL: Ow!

WESLEY: What happened?

ANGEL: The mail guy threw me.

GUNN: What?!

SPIKE: Number 5?! He did this? Isn't he like 100 years old?

ANGEL: Kinda hard to tell with the mask.

GUNN: (to his cell phone) Angel was attacked. Lock it down. No. One of ours. The mail guy, number 5.

WESLEY: (to Angel) Why did he attack you?

ANGEL: I was trying to give him the mail?

GUNN: Security's on it. We'll find him.

ANGEL: Look, this is just a thing. Maybe I, you know, startled him or something.

GUNN: I'm not taking any chances. This is Wolfram & Hart. You have enemies everywhere.

(Fred arrives, cannot help but notice the gaping hole in Angel's window)

SPIKE: Hey! Fred! Didja hear? Angel attacked the old mail guy.

ANGEL: What?!

FRED: Not number 5? You didn't hurt him?

ANGEL: No. I — He attacked me.

WESLEY: We should find him.

SPIKE: Absolutely. Wanna buy him a pint. Bloody made my day.

GUNN: (cell phone rings) Gunn. Good. Great. (to Angel) Security found him. They're escorting him off the premises. You do wanna fire his masked ass, don't you?

ANGEL: Um, I don't...

WESLEY: I think it's best.

ANGEL: Look, really, I'm fine. Let's just get back to the bod—

LORNE: (walks into the office) Holy tornado! It's true!

SPIKE: Yeah. It was amazing. Angel went right off on the mail guy.

LORNE: Oh, this must've been one major smackdown.

ANGEL: There was no smacking.

LORNE: That's not the hubbub I'm hearing, honeybuns. Word on the web has you sucker-punching Grandpa Moses.

ANGEL: The web?

LORNE: Don't sweat it, sweetie pie. I've got my flak catcher spinning this into P.R. gold. Once the word spreads you beat up an innocent old man, well, the truly terrible will think twice before going toe-to-toe with our avenging Angel.

SPIKE: Yes. The geriatric community will be soiling their nappies when they hear you're on the case. (signals thumbs-up) Bravo.

ANGEL: I didn't beat anybody up, OK? So let's just focus on what's important, like Wes' bodies.

FRED: Wesley has bodies?

GUNN: Someone found 3 bodies.

WESLEY: 4. Another one was just found in a church after an All Souls' mass.

ANGEL: All souls?

WESLEY: Prayers for the departed.

SPIKE: You should know that, being departed and all.

WESLEY: Tonight was a special service. It's the Mexican day of the dead.

• Funnies

written by: Jeffrey Bell; Original transcript by CariCranberry. Edited & formatted by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season5/transcripts/5x06_tran.php