RACK: All right... Who's next?

WARREN: I am.

RACK: You're new.

WARREN: Yeah. I come bearing dead presidents. Think we can skip the small talk?

RACK: How'd you find me?

WARREN: I talked to a guy, he was one of your regulars. Offered to show me the way for twenty bucks.

RACK: Should have haggled. Most of my customers will bring you here for five.

WARREN: Great. Great, I'll file that away. Look, I'm in a situation here. I tried to do us all a favor and eliminate the slayer. But it... I guess it didn't take.

RACK: Killing a slayer. That's big business for a kid.

WARREN: I'm not a kid-

RACK: (yeah you are) okay.

WARREN: I had my own guys, the Trio - yeah, you've heard of us.

RACK: Right. What were you, a band or something?

WARREN: I thought word traveled in the underworld. You know, we were evil! Robots were my thing. You didn't hear about the freeze ray?

RACK: Sorry. So why aren't your guys helping you?

WARREN: Look. I thought this was a cash for service gig, alright, not an interview process, alright. I need protection! I've got the slayer after me-

RACK: The Slayer is the least of your problems.

WARREN: Oh you're right, I'm sorry, let's talk about my skin troubles! You know I'd say on the scale of problems that she ranks!

RACK: If I were you, I'd worry about the witch.

WARREN: Witch? Which witch?

RACK: Willow. Slayer's pal. She's the new power, man - anybody with intuition can feel it. She's gonnna blow this town apart - starting ... with you.

WARREN: Me? What did I do to her? Okay, okay, I shot her friend ...

RACK: I feel death.

WARREN: But the slayer is alive. And - and *she* heals-

RACK: She might - but somebody's stone cold. And *that*is why the witch wants your head. She can sense your essence right now, man. It's just a matter of time before she finds you.

WARREN: (shoving money at Rack) Take it. There's that - and I can get more. Just give me something.

RACK: Hide or fight?

WARREN: Both. All of it. I still have a few tricks up my sleeve, but it's not enough. I need a cover - and I need *lots* of fire power.

RACK: I can't guarantee anything. Not this time. Girl is running on pure fury. I've never felt anything like it.

WARREN: Thank you, for the tip, Nostradamus. Just load me up, okay?

• Buffy vs the Legion of Dorkness (Trio)

written by: Marti Noxon; No transcript available, so I started with the Shooting Script and spent a couple-three hours editing it to match what was said and shown on the broadcast version. . Full transcript at: