HOUSE WIFE: The noises are horrible. The thumping, the groaning—it's impossible to sleep at night.

GUNN: How long's this been going on?

HOUSE WIFE: Uh, a week, maybe.

FRED: Good. If it's a haunting, the longer a specter inhabits an area, the harder it is to convince them to leave.

GUNN: Yep, Casper's dealing with the big boys now. We're very persuasive.

HOUSE WIFE: Anything you can do about that terrible room. I'll be in the kitchen.

GUNN: (to Fred) You ready?

FRED: Is "no" an acceptable answer?

GUNN: In this business? Always. (opens the door, looks around, whistles) Man, look at this place!

FRED: A family of four could live in here.

GUNN: With room for Uncle Laruel. Man, marble countertops, whirlpool tub, bidet... (smiling) it's the kind of place I imagine us moving into one day.

FRED: (unethusiastically) Yeah.

GUNN: Well, I'm not saying tomorrow.

FRED: I know, I—

GUNN: Just, be nice one day. 'S all.

FRED: Charles— (groaning pipes sound) OK, that's not the bidet.

GUNN: Where's it coming from?

FRED: Um, everywhere. Maybe we should've brought a priest.

GUNN: Or some consecrated Drano. I think it stopped.

(The mirrored medicine cabinet breaks above the sink, revealing rats. They're everywhere now. Dozens of them in the cabinet, coming up through the drain, in the tub, on the floor. )

FRED: These aren't ghosts. These definitely aren't ghosts.

GUNN: Well, they're gonna be.

FRED: (RE: door) It won't open.

(they manage to get out. outside bathroom)

GUNN: Get 'em off me. Get 'em off me.

FRED: You're OK. You're OK.(walking out, to House Wife) Um, you might want to look into an exterminator.

GUNN: Or just burnt he place down.

FRED: Either way.

• Gunn & Fred

written by: Steven S. DeKnight; Original transcript by CariCranberry. Edited and formatted for this site by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season4/transcripts/73_tran.php