CORDELIA: No! It's supposed to find the syntax and match it. Or wait...

HARMONY: Are we going to the Bronze tonight?

CORDELIA: No, we're going to the other cool place in Sunnydale. Of course we're going to the Bronze. Friday night? No cover? But you should have been there last night. 'Cause I ran into Buffy... and can she be any weirder? She attacked me! Do you believe it?

HARMONY: I think we did this part wrong.

CORDELIA: Why do we have to devise these programs, isn't that what nerds are for? (whispers, indicating Willow) What'd she do?

HARMONY: Uh, she's doing something else.

CORDELIA: Okay, and then pattern run, right? Or go to end? That's it!

HARMONY: Maybe!

CORDELIA: So anyway, I come outta the bathroom, and she comes running at me. Screaming! With a stick! 'I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna kill you!' I swear!

Boy: Who?

CORDELIA: Buffy!

HARMONY: The new girl?

Boy: What's her deal?

CORDELIA: Well, she's crazed.

HARMONY: Did you hear about her old school? Booted.

CORDELIA: Well, I exhibit no surprise.

Boy: Why was she kicked out?

CORDELIA: Uh, because she's a psycho loony!

WILLOW: (interjects) No, she's not.

CORDELIA: What?

WILLOW: She's not a psycho. You don't even know her.

CORDELIA: Excuse me? Who gave you permission to exist? Do I horn in on your private discussions? No. Why? Because you're boring.

HARMONY: Okay, I think the program's done.

CORDELIA: Finally the nightmare ends! Okay, so how do we save it?

WILLOW: Deliver.

CORDELIA: Deliver? Where's that? (searches the keyboard) Oh!

She hits the "Del" key, and her program disappears. She stares at the screen in wide-eyed, open-mouthed horror.

• Cordelia & Buffy
• Cordelia & Harmony
• Cordelia's unique world views

written by: Joss Whedon; Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/02harvest.html