BUFFY: This isn't about keeping busy. This is about war. I'm sorry to jump all over you guys, but... I have to tell you what's really going on. There's something new. Amanda, Dawn?you're gonna stay home from school today. We can survive what's coming, but not like this. I had a vision of what's to come?a horrible vision. Hundreds upon hundreds of....

(Andrew sneaks out)

ANDREW: Honestly, gentle viewers, these motivating speeches of hers tend to get a little long. I'll take you back in there in?in a little while, but in the in-between time, I thought you might want to know a little about me, your humble host. You see, I am a man with a burden. A man with a dark past. You see, I was once a super villain.

(cut to fake memory where Andrew is the ultra cool leader of the trio)

ANDREW: Thus the validity of the Bronsted-Debye-Huckel equation at low ionic strength has been amply tested, and the charges on the reactant ions are well-known, if their reagents are properly characterized.

JONATHAN: It smells funny.

ANDREW: I know, kinda sweaty.

WARREN: What'll it do to Buffy?

ANDREW: Make her super magnetic!

JONATHAN: Wow, she won't be able to get out of her car.

WARREN: And knives and other sharp things will fly at her.

ANDREW: We could walk right by her, and she wouldn't be able to stop us.

WARREN: Unless we were wearing metal belt buckles, then we would stick to her.

ANDREW: In my plan, we are beltless.

JONATHAN: Wow, you're the best, Andrew.

WARREN: Yep, and good-looking and smart too.

JONATHAN: Yeah, wow.

(back to reality)

ANDREW: Warren was cool. And wasn't Jonathan just the cutest thing? Well, shall we see if Buffy's still talking?

BUFFY: I mean mentally. And from what I've seen so far, there's is no way your girls are ready. You have to...

ANDREW: She's not done. Even Willow looks bored, and she usually can take a lot of that stuff. Look at her. Ooh, ooh, do you see that? That-that's important. Willow and Kennedy have been in kind of a bad place lately, but things are looking up. You see, Kennedy pursued the reluctant Willow and won her heart, only to find herself frightened when she glimpsed the darkness that still lies within the witch's mind. Side note?I once had my own personal encounter with Dark Willow.

(cut to fake memory of his encounter with Darkwillow)

DARK WILLOW: Jonathan, Andrew, you boys like magic, don't you? Abracadabra!

JONATHAN: (screams in fright) Yee!

ANDREW: Haltem!

DARK WILLOW: OK, didn't see that coming.

ANDREW: That's because we have power you can't imagine.

JONATHAN: We do?

ANDREW: You, Dark Willow, wield a force of mighty evil, it's true. But you are new to the game, little one.

DARK WILLOW: You know what they say. If at first, you don't succeed...

JONATHAN: Holy cats! Here it comes again.

ANDREW: I deflect thy power.

DARK WILLOW: Damn, that is one effective counter spell.

ANDREW: Thank you, little one. Thank you.

(back to reality)

ANDREW: She was something. Indeed she was. Hey, I think Buffy stopped talking. That usually means she had to go to work. Let's see what the little locusts left for breakfast, shall we?

written by: Jane Espenson; originally transcribed by: CariCranberry. edited by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/buffy/season7/transcripts/138_tran.php