ANGEL: Harmony! Do you wanna explain this?

HARMONY: OK, this is totally my fault. I specifically told the caterers the delivery was for tomorrow...

(pan over to show a huge camel standing in the middle of the lobby)

HARMONY: .... but I should've called to confirm. You know caterers—not the best listeners.

FRED: (startled by the camel) Ohh!

ANGEL: Harmony, uh, got us a camel.

HARMONY: Like I said, I did a lot of research. Camel meat's a delicacy, so I thought it would be a great way to kick off the summit, 'cause of the clans being so uptight? Like... comfort food.

ANGEL: Comfort food.

HARMONY: Uh-huh! And as host, you get the honor of slicing off its hump and sticking a hot poker through its heart. And then the demon leaders rip apart its carcass with their bare hands. (smiles, nods)

ANGEL: Are you— I don't even know h-how...

FRED: Maybe the camel was the wrong way to go.

ANGEL: Harmony, you are supposed to answer the phones, make appointments, and anticipate my needs, which does not include a petting zoo in my lobby.

HARMONY: OK, but... caterer said no returns.

ANGEL: Get it out of here!

(storms off)

FRED: Maybe you could go with a nice cheese platter?

(Harmony starts crying)

FRED: Or chips and dip. Chips and dip would be fine.

HARMONY: I did everything right! This is what they eat!

FRED: Angel's just feeling a little off, and he—he's not in the mood to, you know, butcher a camel.

HARMONY: (crying) No! He hates me!

FRED: No! He'll get over it.

HARMONY: Everybody hates me.

FRED: I don't hate you. I—I mean, it's just I—I don't know you that well and—

HARMONY: (stops sniffling, smiles at Fred) What are you doing after work?

(Fred is caught)

• Angel & Harmony
• Funnies

written by: Sarah Fain and Elizabeth Craft; Original transcript by CariCranberry. Edited & formatted by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season5/transcripts/5x09_tran.php