(The human rebels are gathered around a fire in the woods. Wes and Gunn are tied to a stake to one side of it.)

REBEL: I know how we send a message to the princess. We storm the palace.

LEADER: That'd be suicide. Our entire number would be wiped out in minutes.

REBEL: Yeah, but it'd be a message.

WESLEY: Excuse me. I couldn't help overhearing.

GUNN: Wesley!

WESLEY: It's all right Gunn, I believe we can help these brave men.

LEADER: Shut up, reconnaissance-cow-scum.

WESLEY: Now see here, I've told you already. We're *not* reconnaissance cows.

REBEL: We tracked you coming from the palace. Don't lie.

WESLEY: I'm not lying. And if it's a message you want sent to the princess, then I *know* we can help.

GUNN: Shut up, Wesley.

LEADER: How?

WESLEY: Well, we just happen to be close personal friends with the princess.

(Gunn closes his eyes and lets his head drop. The rebels laugh.)

REBEL: They know the princess.

LEADER: Close personal friends, huh?

WESLEY: I can prove it. In my wallet... uh, ah, the leather holder in the back of my leg coverings. (The leader walks over and pulls out Wesley's wallet.) That's it.

(The leader flips the wallet open to reveal a picture of Angel, Cordy and Wes, all smiling.)

LEADER: It's true. They know the princess.

WESLEY: Now, if your organization would just draw up some sort of list of demands we would be more than happy to present it directly to her majesty.

LEADER: Lets do it. Have Sasha write up a list of demands.

WESLEY: (to Gunn) There, you see?

LEADER: Shove the list in their mouths, put their severed heads on sticks and display them outside the princess' window.

GUNN: Have I mentioned just how glad I am I decided to leave my people behind in LA so I could come here to die?

• Funnies
• Wesley & Gunn

written by: Tim Minear; Original transcript anonymous. Edited, formatted for this site and checked against source by Sylvia.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season2/transcripts/43_tran.shtml