XANDER: Is it too small?

BUFFY: (unconvincingly) Nah.

XANDER: It fit when I picked up the tux. How could it not fit now?

BUFFY: It'll fit.

XANDER: Aw, man, what if it doesn't? What if I can't wear my cummerbund, and then the whole world can see the place where my pants meet my shirt? Buffy, that can NOT happen. I must wear das cummerbund!

BUFFY: (strained) And so... you... shall!

XANDER: Hey, you got it!

BUFFY: (smiling) Slayer strength.

XANDER: And I've been meaning to cut back on that habit-forming oxygen.

BUFFY: Look at you. You look great, Mr. About-To-Get-Married. Glowing. Oh my god! Maybe you're pregnant!

XANDER: (grins) Maybe. I dunno. Maybe I'm just happy. (notices Buffy) Teary.

BUFFY: Oh! Good. Good teary.

XANDER: Happy teary? Not frustrated with bow-tie teary?

BUFFY: Yes. Happy. Happy for you. That makes me happy for me. You and Anya give me hope. It's like ... you two are proof that there's light at the end of this very long, long, nasty tunnel. And, I cannot tie this tie. Isn't, where's your best man, isn't she supposed to do this?

XANDER: Well, she said she had something important to do.

(...)

XANDER: How do I look?

BUFFY: Well, let's see. Found your shoes ... your fly's zipped. I'd say you look like you're ready to get married. You're one of the decent ones, Xander. I hope I'm as lucky as you guys someday.

XANDER: You wanna get lucky? I've still got, what, fifteen, twenty minutes?

(Buffy smiles, hugs him.)

BUFFY: Oh! All right. (pulls back) Into the breach with you.

XANDER: Okay, breach me. Now, let's go over the list one more time. Number one?

BUFFY: Don't let your dad near the bar.

XANDER: Check. Number two?

BUFFY: Don't let your mom near the bar.

XANDER: Check.

• Xander & Buffy

written by: Rebecca Kirshner; transcribed by Joan the English Chick (pisces@englishchick.com). action descriptions edited by me. . Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/116hellsbells.html