BUFFY: I'm sorry, Ford. I just couldn't wait till tonight! I'm rash and impulsive. It's a flaw.

Ford: We all have flaws.

BUFFY: I'm still a little fuzzy on exactly what yours is. I think it has to do with being a lying scumbag.

Ford: Everybody lies.

BUFFY: What do you want, Ford? What's this all about?

Ford: I really don't think you'd understand.

BUFFY: I don't need to understand. I just need to know.

Ford: I'm gonna be one of them.

BUFFY: You wanna be a vampire?

Ford: I'm going to.

BUFFY: You know, vampires are a little picky about who they change ov... You were gonna offer them a trade!

Ford: I don't think I wanna talk anymore.

(She grabs him by the throat and shoves him up against a pillar.)

BUFFY: Yeah, well, I still feel awfully chatty! You were gonna give them me! Tonight!

Ford: Yes.

BUFFY: You had to know I'd figure it out.

Ford: Actually, I was counting on it.

BUFFY: What's supposed to happen tonight?

Ford: This is *so* cool! It's just like it played in my head. You know that part where you ask me what's supposed to happen? It's already happening.

Ford: Rigged up special. Once it's closed, it can only be opened from the outside. As soon as the sun sets, they'll be comin'.

BUFFY: Ford, if these people are still around when they get here...

Diego: (interrupts) We'll be changed. All of us.

Chantarelle: We're going to ascend to a new level of consciousness! Become like them. Like the Lonely Ones.

Ford: This is the end, Buffy. No one gets outta here alive.

BUFFY: There's gotta be another way out of here!

Ford: This is a bomb shelter, Buffy. I knew I wasn't gonna be able to overpower you. But this is three feet of solid concrete. Trust me when I say we're in for the long haul.

BUFFY: At least let the other people go.

Chantarelle: Why are you fighting this? It's what we want!

Diego: It's our chance for immortality.

Chantarelle: This is a beautiful day. Can't you see that?

BUFFY: What I see is that, right after the sun goes down, Spike and all of his friends are going to be pigging out at the all-you-can-eat moron bar.

Diego: Okay, that's it. I think we should gag her.

BUFFY: I think you should try.

Diego: She's an unbeliever. She taints us.

BUFFY: I am trying to save you! You are playing in some serious traffic here! Do you understand that? You're going to die! And the only hope you have of surviving this is to get out of this pit right now, and, my God, could you have a dorkier outfit?

Ford: I gotta back her up, D. You look like a big ninny. 6:27. Sunset. (Buffy tries the door) Hey, you never give up, do you?

BUFFY: No, I don't.

Ford: That's a good quality in a person. Too many people, they just lay back and take it, but us...

BUFFY: Us? We have something in common now?

Ford: More than you think.

BUFFY: Yeah, well, let me explain something to you. You're what we call the bad guy.

Ford: I guess I am!

BUFFY: These people aren't gonna get changed, are they? The rest of them, they're just fodder.

Ford: Technically, yes. But I'm in. I will become immortal.

BUFFY: Well, I've got a news flash for you, braintrust: that's not how it works. You die, and a demon sets up shop in your old house, and it walks, and it talks, and it remembers your life, but it's not you.

Ford: It's better than nothing.

BUFFY: And your life is nothing? Ford, these people don't deserve to die!

Ford: Well, neither do I! But apparently no one took that into consideration, 'cause I'm still dying. I look good, don't I? Well, let me tell you something: (angry) I've got maybe six months left, and by then what they bury won't even *look* like me. It'll be bald and shriveled and it'll smell bad. No, I'm not going out that way. I'm sorry, Summers. Did I screw up your righteous anger riff? Does the nest of tumors liquefying my brain kinda spoil the fun?

BUFFY: I'm sorry. I had no idea. But what you're doing is still very wrong.

Ford: Okay, well, you try vomiting for twenty-four hours straight because the pain in your head is so intense, and *then* we'll discuss the concept of right and wrong. These people are sheep. They wanna be vampires 'cause they're lonely, miserable or bored. I don't have a choice.

BUFFY: You have a choice. You don't have a good choice, but you have a choice! You're opting for mass murder here, and nothing you say is gonna make that okay!

Ford: You think I need to justify myself to you?

BUFFY: I think this is all part of your little fantasy drama! Isn't this exactly how you imagined it? You tell me how you've suffered and I feel sorry for you. Well, I do feel sorry for you, and if those vampires come in here and start feeding, I'll kill you myself!

Ford: You know what, Summers? I really did miss you.

BUFFY: Ford, help me stop this. (silence) Please! (to crowd) People, listen to me! This is not the mothership, people! This is ugly death come to play!

written by: Joss Whedon; Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/19lietome.html