WILLOW: So, he asked you out to dinner?

BUFFY: Yeah. Isn't that weird? I mean, he's a Principal. He's a young, hot Principal with earrings, but he's a Principal. Why do you think he asked me out? I mean, he could be interested, right?

WILLOW: Yeah, sure. You're a frisky vixen.

BUFFY: Or, it could be work-related. Maybe I'm getting promoted for doing such a good job.

WILLOW: (laughs, then notices Buffy's hurt look) Oh, right, that?that makes sense too.

BUFFY: Or, maybe he knows that I suspect he's up to something, and he's taking me out to kill me.

WILLOW: Well, you'll have to dress for the ambiguity.

BUFFY: You know, it's not even that he's acting that suspicious. It's just?there he is. On the hell mouth. All day, every day. That's got to be like being showered with evil. Only from underneath.

WILLOW: Not really a shower.

BUFFY: A bidet. Like a bidet of evil.

WILLOW: Buff, if he's really interested, are you interested back?

BUFFY: I don't know. He's good-looking, and he's?he's solid, he's smart, he's normal. So, not the wicked energy, which is nice 'cause I don't want to only be attracted to wicked energy. Or what if he is wicked, in which case, is that why I'm attracted to him?

WILLOW: I'm gonna wait for that sentence to come around again before I jump on.

BUFFY: You know what? Yeah, I mean I think I like him. And he'd be good for me.

WILLOW: Right. Help you move on.

BUFFY: (defensively) Why does everybody in this house think I'm still in love with Spike?

WILLOW: No, I-I meant move on from this imposed super-self-reliance. Let somebody get close.

XANDER: (giddy) Guys, guess what happened!

WILLOW: Buffy got a date!

XANDER: (excited) No, I did. (looks at Buffy, frowning) Fine. Way to steal my thunder.

BUFFY: Sorry. If it makes you feel better, it's Principal Wood, and I think he's aligned with the First.

XANDER: Also, like ten years older than you, right?

WILLOW: Which is like 100 years younger than your type!

BUFFY: Yay. Someone who doesn't remember the Industrial Revolution.

WILLOW: I think they're gonna end up making out. (mocking) "Oh, Principal Wood," she'll gasp, "I love your lack of wicked energy."

BUFFY: Watch it, or I'm gonna make you talk about your new girlfriend who you hold hands with under the dinner table and think we don't notice.

WILLOW: How 'bout yours, Xander. Is she evil?

XANDER: Well, she's interested in me, so there's a good chance, but I'm hoping for the best. We're going for coffee. She has a kayak?

GILES: (arriving with Chao-Ahn) Dear lord, I hate that mall. The shop assistants are rude. And everything in the Food Court is sticky.

WILLOW: Looks like you found her some stuff.

GILES: Oh, hello. Yes.

XANDER: That's gotta be rough. Getting just like pulled out of your home, being told you're a potential slayer, not being able to bring anything.

GILES: Yes, and the language barrier is formidable. I was concerned that my Mandarin is a little thin, but as it turns out, she speaks Cantonese, which is thinner. But we muddled through, and, as I suspected, ice cream is a universal language.

CHAO-AHN: (speaking Chinese, subtitled) Like many from Asia, I am lactose intolerant. I'm very uncomfortable.

BUFFY: (smiling, nodding) What'd she say?

GILES: She's grateful to be in the land of plenty. (to Chao-Ahn, slowly) Let's, um, go and put away your new clothes. (picks up bags and walks upstairs; Chao-Ahn nods and follows)

BUFFY: Hey, Will, do you think you can do a computer check on Principal Wood. See if you can find anything out.

WILLOW: Yeah, sure. Want me to check your girl out while I'm at it, Xand?

XANDER: Nope. I'm going in blind. I'm gonna be an optimist about this. Why go looking for trouble? If it's gonna find you, it's gonna find you.

• Buffy's Love Life in general
• Funnies
• Willow & Buffy

written by: Jane Espenson; Transcribed by: CariCranberry. edited by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/buffy/season7/transcripts/136_tran.php