FRED: Um, hi. You probably don't remember me—

SHOPKEEPER: Three days ago. Mass hypnosis. You wondered if it was possible.

FRED: I read those books. Some wacko theories, by the way. All of the mass hypnosis theories seem highly flawed to me. I'm looking for a type of mind control that could affect everyone across the board.

SHOPKEEPER: (beat) I might have a book on that.

FRED: (reading book titles) Astral Projections. Satan's Dictionary? (to the clerk) You must get some pretty colorful customers in here.

SHOPKEEPER: Used to. You're the only customer I had since last time you were here.

FRED: Oh.

SHOPKEEPER: Not a huge demand for photo books of serial killer autopsies when you're living in a utopian wonderland. You know what I mean?

FRED: I hadn't really though it— Must be hard.

SHOPKEEPER: Hard? Are you kidding? It's great.

FRED: Great? Really?

SHOPKEEPER: (not smiling) Yeah. Look at me. I've never been happier.

FRED: Uh, sure. I see it now. You're practically glowy.

SHOPKEEPER: I was flicking through the radio the other night—there's nothing really good on since Art Bell retired. But, uh, ended up listening to this woman talk.

FRED: Jasmine.

SHOPKEEPER: Yeah. You too, huh? What a breath of fresh air she is. I listened for almost an hour. I'm a new man. I-I used to be obsessed with mind control. I read everything I could get my hands on.

FRED: And you don't believe in it anymore?

SHOPKEEPER: I believe. I just don't worry about it anymore.

FRED: So, you don't worry that it's possible for someone to send out a biological or electronic trigger that effectively overrides your own sense of ideals and values, and replaces them with an alternative coercive agenda that reduces you to little more than a mindless meat puppet?

SHOPKEEPER: Wow. People used to think that I was paranoid. I mean, don't get me wrong. I still got the implants in my head. C.I.A. is still listening in. It just doesn't bother me anymore. Instead, I—I beam Jasmine's love up to their satellite, you know? Share the love with those M.K.-Ultra bastards.

FRED: That'll teach 'em.

SHOPKEEPER: Hey. Now I get it.

FRED: You do?

SHOPKEEPER: Yeah. I know what you're doing.

(The shopkeeper reaches into the desk drawer and pulls out a pistol. Fred's eyes widen. Then he pulls out a yo-yo and then a book entitled Making Mind Control Work for You. )

SHOPKEEPER: You want to fight fire with fire. Make sure the government and the other savages learn about Jasmine's love.

FRED: Exact— (plays along) that's exactly right. Why should we be the only shiny, happy people?

SHOPKEEPER: We don't need to use the evil tools of (with air quotes) the man when we have (with air quotes) the wo-man. We need to trust that Jasmine's love will reach the rest of the world just like it reached us.

FRED: Oh, happy day.

• The Beast, the Beast's Master, Jasmine, etc

written by: Jeffrey Bell; Original transcript by CariCranberry. Edited and formatted for this site by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season4/transcripts/85_tran.php