MR. HARRIS: Toast!

XANDER:I swear I told that guy no drinks before the ceremony.

MR. HARRIS: Toast! A toast! To the Harris clan. I know in the past we've had our problems...

(...)

MR. HARRIS: ...and to my wife, Jessica. Where are you, honey? There she is. To my wife. What would I do without you, beautiful? Wellllllll, for starters, I probably wouldn't need to drink so much, would I? On the brighter side, marriage has probably saved me from a nasty dose of the clap. Here's to ya.

CLEM: Does this jerk ever shut up?

TENTACLE DEMON: He's starting to make my suckers twitch.

MR. HARRIS: And a toast ... to the bride's dermatologically-challenged family shrub.

TENTACLE DEMON: Sit down!

MR. HARRIS: Hey, I paid for all this! You want me to sit down, you cough up a couple of grand, Squidly.

TENTACLE DEMON: What'd you call me, you drunken piece of sh-

BUFFY: Mazel tov! (leads Mr Harris away)

MR. HARRIS: Hey, what's this?

BUFFY: (super-cheerful) You must be so happy for Xander on his very special, once-in-a-lifetime day, huh, Mr. Harris?

MR. HARRIS: (ogling her) Nice chassis, what's under the hood? Rrowr!

BUFFY: You know, I could use a strong cup of coffee. Hey, let's get you one too, what do you say?

MR. HARRIS: Did you used to own a little square pinkish purse?

BUFFY: (less cheerful, sighs) I did.

MR. HARRIS: I thought so. Hey, what do you say we slip in the back room and I show you my-

BUFFY: You finish that sentence and I guarantee you won't have anything to show.

written by: Rebecca Kirshner; transcribed by Joan the English Chick (pisces@englishchick.com). action descriptions edited by me. . Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/116hellsbells.html