WILLOW: (horrified) Buffy, it's hideous. Oh my god, Buffy. Look at its arms!

BUFFY: (nods bravely) I know. But it's my duty. I'm ... Buffy the bridesmaid.

WILLOW: Duty-schmuty. I'm supposed to be best man. Shouldn't I be all ... Marlene Dietrich-y in a dashing tuxedo number?

BUFFY: No.

WILLOW: Oh. (pouts)

BUFFY: That would be totally unfair. We must share equally in the cosmic joke that is bridesmaids-dom.

WILLOW: (whining) Well, maybe ... if I ask Anya, I can still go with the traditional ... blood larva and burlap. (Buffy putting on earrings) I mean, she was a, a vengeance demon for like a thousand years, she would know all the most flattering ... larvae. What was she thinking?

BUFFY: I think she's probably too stressed to be thinking right now. What with Xander's relatives and her ... demons.

WILLOW: Oh my god, last night, that rehearsal dinner. That was like a, a zoo without the table manners. And I bet it got worse after we left.

BUFFY: I just can't believe everyone bought that story about Anya's people being circus folk. Did you see the guy with the tentacles? What's he supposed to be? Inky the Squid Boy?

WILLOW: And Xander's family. I haven't seen them that bad since my bat mitzvah. Ugh, did you see how much they drank?

BUFFY: Kinda. Mr. Harris threw up in my purse.

ANYA: Oh! Ohh. You guys look so beautiful! This is the happiest day of my whole life!

• Funnies

written by: Rebecca Kirshner; transcribed by Joan the English Chick (pisces@englishchick.com). action descriptions edited by me. . Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/116hellsbells.html