BUFFY: It's not that big a deal. It's just a bunch of people getting together.

WILLOW: It's a very big deal!

BUFFY: It's not!

WILLOW: It is. (spots Giles) Tell her!

GILES: I'm afraid it's very big.

WILLOW: (smiles at Buffy) Thank you! (turns back to Giles, confused) Wait! What are you talking about?

GILES: What are *you* talking about?

Buffy and WILLOW: Boys!

GILES: Yes, well, I'm talking about trouble. A violent and disturbing prophecy is about to be fulfilled.

BUFFY: The Order of Aurelius.

GILES: You were spot-on about the connection. I've looked at the writings of Aurelius himself, and he, he prophesied that the brethren of his order would come to the Master and bring him the Anointed.

WILLOW: Who's that?

GILES: Well, I-I don't know exactly, a-a-a-a warrior, but, but it says he will rise from the ashes of the Five on the evening of the thousandth day after the Advent of Septus.

BUFFY: Well, we'll be ready whenever it is.

GILES: Which is tonight.

BUFFY: Tonight, okay... (realizes the conflict) Not okay! It can't be tonight!

GILES: My calculations are precise.

BUFFY: Nuh! They're bad calculations! Bad!

WILLOW: Buffy has a really important date.

BUFFY: Owen!

GILES: Alright, I-I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.

BUFFY: Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm.

GILES: Buffy, this is no ordinary vampire. But we have to stop him before he reaches the Master.

BUFFY: But... Cute guy! Teenager! Post-pubescent fantasies!

GILES: Those will just have to be put on hold! The dark forces are aligning against us, and we have a chance to beat them back. Tonight we go into battle!

• Buffy's Love Life in general
• Funnies
• Slayerhood

written by: Rob Des Hotel & Dean Batali; Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/05never.html