CORDELIA: Hello? (beat) Somebody down here?

(Out of sight, Angel is moving large mugs of blood off of the counter. She goes downstairs to the counter and sees a drop of blood on the counter where the mugs were. She touches it, realizes it's blood and freaks.)

CORDELIA: Hello?

(Angel sneaks out of the room.)

CORDELIA: Oh, my God.

(Door opens, and Cordy hides behind the counter. Fred and Gunn come in to the lobby disheveled and covered in pink goo. They're carrying weapons they used in fighting tonight.)

GUNN: How much do I hate those little babies?

FRED: Tell me about it. I couldn't squish-squash fast enough.

GUNN: I know we get paid to do it, but that's the kind of mayhem I would do for free.

FRED: I'm gonna be washing their teeny brains out of my hair for a week.

GUNN: Hang on. Turn around.

FRED: What is it?

GUNN: You don't even want to know. Just hold still.

FRED: Charles, we should go upstairs. Cordelia doesn't want to know we do this kind of exterminating.

GUNN: Hang on, almost got it. When do you think fang boy's gonna come clean with her, huh? Spill the really real?

FRED: I'm sure the time will present itself—

(Cordy jumps to avoid the blood droplet pooling above her head. )

FRED: It's OK. Cordelia...

(Cordy freaks, and runs, but Angel's in her path. )

ANGEL: I can explain.

(He grabs her, but she recoils. She runs out into the garden, where she's attacked by 2 ninjas)

CORDELIA: Wow. How did I—? (beat) I am a spy. I get it now. You're all spies. Probably all Russian. And you've brainwashed me, and want me to believe we're friends so I'll spill the beans about some nano-techno-thingy that you want.

GUNN: So... I look Russian to you?

CORDELIA: Black Russian.

ANGEL: That's a drink.

CORDELIA: Says the head spy.

ANGEL: Nobody here is a spy. Those two guys are lawyers—weird as that may seem—from Wolfram and Hart. They must know you're back. We'll have to keep her in the hotel so she's safe—

CORDELIA: Safe? Is that some kind of joke? Your friends here were just talking about murdering children. And there's-there's-there's singing and blood and-and pointy things. And did I mention the singing? I mean, what the hell is going on here, Angie?

ANGEL: Angel.

CORDELIA: Whatever.

ANGEL: I know things seem weird. Maybe even scary. But you have to believe me when I tell you we're trying to do everything we can to help you get through this difficult time. The Cordelia that we know—the person who you're trying to remember—is very much at home here, bizarre as that may seem. So I ask you to look inside, to believe me when I tell you that you're safe and you're among friends who only want the best for you.

CORDELIA: I believe you.

• Cordelia & Angel
• Funnies

written by: Jeffrey Bell; Originally transcribed by CariCranberry. Edited & formatted for this site by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season4/transcripts/70_tran.php