BUFFY: So, all the potential slayers?who seem to keep popping up from, like, every corner of the earth? were getting killed.

PRINCIPAL WOOD: By the First.

BUFFY: Agents of. We thought the Council could protect them, but, unfortunately, no one was protecting the Council, and all their watchers were killed. Word got out, and they've all been coming here since.

PRINCIPAL WOOD: Well, there's nothing like the end of the world to bring people together.

BUFFY: It's heartwarming. Anyway, this is, uh, it. Command central.

ANDREW: (storms into the room wearing a white apron and a red and white checked oven mitt on each hand) Where the hell have you been? (crosses arms) This funnel cake is kicking my ass.

PRINCIPAL WOOD: Yeah, I hear they're tricky.

BUFFY: Robin Wood, this is...Andrew.

PRINCIPAL WOOD: It's a pleasure.

BUFFY: Andrew is our?actually, he's our hostage.

ANDREW: I like to think of myself more as a (makes quote marks in the air with his mitted hands) "guestage."

PRINCIPAL WOOD: So, you?you hold him here against his will?

BUFFY: Well, he was evil, and people got killed, and now he...bakes. It's a thing.

PRINCIPAL WOOD: Oh.

ANDREW: Could we try to just keep our secret headquarters a little bit secret? Keep bringing people in, they're gonna see everything. They'll see the big board.

BUFFY: Andrew, we don't have a big board.

ANDREW: (runs to fetch a white dry-erase board from behind the chair) I, uh, made it myself.

PRINCIPAL WOOD: Oh, I wouldn't have guessed.

ANDREW: Uh, this is us. And this represents the First in various incarnations. And, uh, there's no pattern to the naked eye yet, but the instant one emerges, yours truly is on it. (Buffy and Wood look at each other, then walk away; Andrew calls after them) Where do we put our receipts?

(outside)

BUFFY: You'll have to forgive Andrew. Or not. Your call. We do have a lot more working for us than just the, uh, big board.

PRINCIPAL WOOD: So, I see.

(Pan out to show that the potential slayers are training in the backyard, being led by Kennedy.)

• Funnies

written by: Douglas Petrie; originally transcribed by: CariCranberry. edited by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/buffy/season7/transcripts/137_tran.php