ANGEL: That night still haunts me. I'm ashamed of how I treated you. The way I used you. I took - what I needed, then I cast you aside and that - that was wrong of me. Was very wrong.

MERL: He's reading!

ANGEL: I made some notes.

MERL: I don't feel the sincerity here.

ANGEL: I told you this was a waste of time.

MERL: Real friends don't need notes.

ANGEL: We're not *friends* Merl! We barely even know each other.

MERL: Not like you made the effort either, is it?!

(Merl gets up and heads for the exit. Cordy blocks him)

ANGEL: No, you know what? No, no, no. Let him go if he wants to.

CORDELIA: Merl, you said you'd listen to what Angel had to say.

WESLEY: (to Angel) You promised you'd make an attempt.

MERL: (to Cordelia) You get a load of that insincere tripe he was reading?

ANGEL: (to Wesley) I apologized...

CORDELIA: (to Merl) I hardly think it's fair to blame it on the writing.

ANGEL: (to Wesley) What does he *want* from me?!

MERL: (to Angel) What do I want? Huh? I tell you what I want. I want back the three months I spent in therapy after being hung upside down in a sewer. That's what *I* want.

CORDELIA: Angel, read the cards.

ANGEL: No. He's - he's right. He's right. Every time I went to Merl for information he came through. So, I'll tell you what, Merl. - Take a shot. (Stands in front of Merl holding his arms open) Take a shot, Merl.

CORDELIA: Oh, knock it off, guys.

ANGEL: Come on, take your best shot.

WESLEY: Angel, please...

ANGEL: Come on, Merl.

MERL: You see this? He's goading. He's goading me.

ANGEL: Take a shot, Merl. Come on, this one's free.

MERL: No. No. Shameless with the goading. You see?!

ANGEL: Come on, Merl-la-la. Merl-la-la-la.

MERL: Okay!

(Merl goes to hit him, but the Caritas security spell knocks him across the room)

MERL: Whoa! Man. You did that on purpose! You knew that was gonna happen. You tricked me! Huh?

LORNE: Why, now, I'm sure Angel just forgot for the moment that *any* demon violence is impossible in Caritas.

ANGEL: Yeah. I-I - I forgot.

MERL: Yeah, yeah. Whatever! Okay? 'cause I'm done listening to this bloodsucker! And the same goes for the rest of you, alright? I never want to see any of you ever again!

(Merl walks towards the exit, slows, stops and turns.)

MERL: Uh, so, who's gonna give me a ride home?

(Gunn's pickup pulls up in a dark, deserted alley and Merl gets out.)

MERL: Thanks. I hope I, ah, didn't take you, ah, (the tires of Gunn's truck squeal as he takes off) too far out of your way!

(Merl enters his apartment, and is surprised by unseen intruders)

MERL: What the... Hey, hey, hey! No, no, no. No! Noooo!

(Merl is killed)

• Angel & Merl
• Funnies

written by: Tim Minear; Original transcript anonymous. Edited and formatted for this site by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season3/transcripts/47_tran.shtml