(TITLE: Royal London Hotel, England, 1880)

DRUSILLA: Oh. Such a hungry little kitty. Meow. You've been a starved one, haven't you, my sweet Willy?

WILLIAM: I've got you to feast on now, pet. Is this your home?

DRUSILLA: Their home.

(reveal couple of corpses on the sofa)

DRUSILLA: Ambassador to...something and his plump, lovely wife. Till their spirits flew away on fairy wings. Psst. When Angelus took them for dinner.

WILLIAM: Angelus? Who the bloody hell's Ang—?

(turns to see Angelus lurking in the shadows in a nearby doorway)

DRUSILLA: Look what I made. It's called Willy.

WILLIAM: William.

DRUSILLA: Where's Darla? I want Darla to see William.

ANGELUS: Darla and I had a little spat. Her precious master sent for her. You know Darla. Master's pet.

DRUSILLA: Oh. Poor Angelus.

ANGELUS: Ah, don't fret, Dru. We'll make up. Always do. (touches his bruised brow) Mmm. Ow. After a little tit for tat. Shouldn't let that spoil our fun here. So, instead of just feeding off of this... William... you went and turned him into one of us? Another rooster in the henhouse.

DRUSILLA: You're not cross with me, are you?

ANGELUS: Cross?

(grabs William's arm and holds it out into the ray of sunlight beaming through the closed curtains)

ANGELUS: Do you have any idea what it's like having nothing but women as travel companions, night in and night out?

(Spike angrily yanks his sizzling hand away from Angelus)

WILLIAM: (starts to threaten) Touch me again—

ANGELUS: Don't mistake me. I do love the ladies. It's just lately... I've been wondering... (holds his own fist in the beam of sunlight) what it'd be like... to share the slaughter of innocents... with another man. Don't think that makes me some kind of a deviant, hmm? Do you?

(Staring at Angelus, Spike gets it, sticks his own hand in the light and lets it smoke)

ANGELUS: (roaring with laughter) Au ah! I like this one! You and me, we're gonna be the best of friends.

(Spike joins him, pleased to have passed the test)

(Cut to present day, Spike follows Angel obstinately as the later tries to ditch him)

ANGEL: Get the hell away from me, Spike.

SPIKE: Would that I could, you big ape. 'Til then, why don't you make us both happy and give me what I want?

ANGEL: You're not getting an office.

SPIKE: You selfish sod. The rest of your lot get to go home to their nice and cozies. Me? I gotta nest in somebody else's roost. It's not bleeding right.

ANGEL: You don't work here. You haunt this place—and annoy me. That's all.

SPIKE: Job well done, eh? At least give me Wesley's office. I mean, since he's gone.

ANGEL: He's not gone. He's on a leave of absence.

(walks into his office, shuts the door behind him)

SPIKE: Yeah, right. Boo-hoo. Thought he killed his bloody father. (yelling after Angel) Try staking your mother when she's coming on to you!

(Harmony overhears)

HARMONY: Well... that explains a lot.

• Angel & Spike
• Angel(us) & Drusilla
• historical flash backs
• Spike & Drusilla

written by: David Fury & Steven S. DeKnight; Original transcript by CariCranberry. Edited & formatted by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season5/transcripts/5x08_tran.php