GUNN: Man, heads of state don't get this much security. Something's starting to seem a lot not right about this.

FRED: That's what I've been saying, only with better grammar. Should we find Angel?

GUNN: Well, we're never gonna get past bruisers one and two over there without a fight.

(A Lornette walks out of a nearby dressing room, past Fred and Gunn. They look at each other.)

(... later ...)

GUARD #1: Whoa. What's this? He already got his drink.

FRED: (dressed as a Lornette) Uh, yeah he— He did. Right. I-I know. They told me—I mean, they sent me to...

GUARD #1: Oh, I get it. A little pre-show diddle for the green guy, huh?

FRED: (nervous and confused) What? Diddle? I'm what? (laughs)

GUARD #1: Oh, don't be nervous. The demon, he doesn't bite. Yeah, not with his mouth anyway. (guards laugh)

GUARD #2: Wait a minute. You missed a couple of spots on your neck and behind your ear. You might want to fix that before you go out on stage.

FRED: Oh, right, 'cause—'cause that would have been really embarrassing.

(Fred walks into the room, looking around nervously. As she walks by him, Lorne swings down at her with an empty bottle, but catches himself just before hitting her in the head.)

LORNE: Oh, I'm sorry, peach pie. I thought you just might have been—

FRED: Your diddle buddy?

LORNE: My what-le what? (suddenly recognizing her) Oh, F-Fred? Winifred? Oh, hey, hallelujah. (hugs her) Oh, sweet cheeks, you don't know the hell I've been through.

FRED: (looks around his luxurious suite) Uh-huh. It looks like real torture.

LORNE: Yeah, well it took you heroes long enough to rescue me.

FRED: Frankly, Lorne, we weren't aware you needed rescuing.

LORNE: Weren't aware? I told you.

FRED: When?

LORNE: Well, every time you called me, I kept asking about Fluffy.

FRED: Oh, I thought you were just using some sort of show-business catch phrase I wasn't hip enough to get. Who's Fluffy?

LORNE: Fluffy. Fluffy the dog. The dog you don't have. The universally recognized code for I'm being held prisoner. Send help!

FRED: Oh. OK. I'm hip now. Who's holding you prisoner?

LORNE: Oh, the creep who owns this place. Lee DeMarco. Well, he used to be some second-rate lounge magician until he got his hands on something legitimately mystical. Yeah now he's a first-rate psychopath, and he's using me to destroy people's lives.

FRED: Using you how?

LORNE: There's this game—

(... later...)

FRED: (running from the dressing room) Ahh! Oh my God! It was horrible. He-he attacked me with these, um, laserbeams that—that shot out of his horns, and— and he escaped. He's gone!

GUARD #1: There's no other way out.

FRED: Right. No. 'Cause, 'cause he went through some sort of of demon metamorphosis thing, and, and he spit out his entire skeleton like, like— (mimics throwing up) Like that, and then he just— He slithered away. Down the drain. In the sink. In the bathroom. Hurry!

GUARD #1: Security One, we have a Code Green. Repeat: Code Green.

(The guards go into Lorne's dressing room to investigate. Meanwhile, Gunn runs up to Fred and Lorne sneaks out of the dressing room, wearing a long tan raincoat and a black brimmed hat.)

GUNN: Somebody wanna give me the lowdown?

LORNE: Later. Suffice it to say we're dead if we don't get our fannies out of dodge.

GUNN: Good enough.

LORNE: We need the big guns. Where's Angel?

written by: David Fury; Original transcript by CariCranberry. Edited and formatted for this site by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season4/transcripts/69_tran.php